Did you just have sex?
Did you hump a girl a couple of days ago?
Did you ever stick your penis inside a woman after the fall of the Soviet Union?
Then my friend, it is time to talk about what to do after sex.
But before you rack your brain about that, it’s time to be happy about the wet and warm gift that god and your seduction skills gave you. Be grateful for having experienced the wonderful feeling of being inside another human being who happens to have breasts (and hopefully no dick).
Now you are allowed to jump in the air and to scream:
Congratulations buddy. You made it. You made it to the finish line. No matter if you just lost your virginity or if you were just on top woman number 465 – I don’t care. I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.
However, even though you did something that some men have never done before or haven’t done in a long time; you shouldn’t rest on your laurels.
Yes, you had sex, but that doesn’t mean that the girl you are with enjoyed your thrusts as much as you did. It also doesn’t mean that she is ready for a second round and it for sure doesn’t mean that she wants to see you ever again.
You might ask yourself the following questions:
Did she fake her orgasm or was it real?
Does she want to see me again?
What shall I do now?
Would she say yes if I would ask her to get married and to have children?
I really hope that you are not desperate enough to ask her to get married right after you came all over her beautiful ass for the very first time, but the other three questions are quite legit.
If you are not the most experienced guy in the world, or if you are faced with the problem that not even woman number 465 picks up the phone when you call her the next day, you probably want to know what to do after sex.
What Not to Do After Sex
Before I am going to share all the amazing things you can do after sex to make yourself, your penis and the woman who had the pleasure to accommodate that thing feel better, I first want to talk about all the things you shouldn’t do after intercourse.
Allowing some hairy guy (yep, that’s you) to enter her body is not only an emotionally risky, but also a physically and financially risky thing to do for a woman.
Before she sleeps with you she doesn’t know of you are just playing with her. She doesn’t know if you are doing something that she doesn’t want you to do, which is quite a risk if you think about the fact that you are probably three times as strong as she is. Last but not least she doesn’t know if you are one of those douchebags who “accidentally” remove the condom right before they are about to come.
You simply can’t doubt that having sex with a man brings along a few risks.
That’s why it is so important that you give her the feeling that she did the right thing.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys misunderstand the definition of giving her the feeling that she did the right thing and turn a passionate night of lovemaking into a woman’s nightmare.
Let’s have a look at how they do it.
1. You Say Something Stupid
After sex is before sex and due to the fact that this topic is so immensely important, I already wrote an article about what to say and what not to say after sex. In this article I shared a lot of sentences, questions and verbal blackouts that you should avoid right after you were inside the person who is lying next to you.
Instead of listing all the examples of verbal diarrhea that I already wrote down in my other article, I just want to give you one advice that sums up the whole problematic:
Don’t say anything stupid!
Yes, “how was it?” is definitely one of the things you shouldn’t say, unless you are so calibrated that you can communicate it in a way that makes it obvious that you are just joking.
Have a look at the article that I have already written about the verbal aspect of this topic and you will find plenty of examples of things that are too stupid to say.
2. You Lose Control over Your Holes
How do you feel after you had sex?
I am pretty sure that you feel relaxed, calm and that you could embrace the world without worrying about anything. Unfortunately, this calm and relaxed state of mind has the power to influence your body to relax too.
While this is good for your stress hormones and your uptight muscles, it might motivate your butthole, which is basically nothing but a muscle, to enter a state of complete relaxation. I think I don’t have to tell you the inevitable consequence of a relaxed asshole that doesn’t give a fuck about anything.
Unless you want to scare her away with the rotten smell of the last two meals you had, you should be careful before you relax too much. Some girls will take a little fart with humor, while others will see it as an insult. Control your holes and you don’t have to worry that she might puke in your bed.
3. You Think About the Condom in Your Pocket
“Wait a second. Did she say that she takes the pill or not?”
Don’t ever make the mistake and think about birth control AFTER you had sex.
This is something that you must think about BEFORE you stick your penis in a woman who is in a childbearing age. Forgetting it once can lead to a lifetime of regret and alimony.
Even though there is this stubborn stereotype that men are the bad guys who try to bang without protection, I experienced it multiple times that the girl tried to insert my beautiful dick without putting a vomit bag on it.
When women are horny they tend to forget about everything they ever learned about the stork and the baby. The only thing that their brain thinks about is reproduction. Act fast when this happens and grab the condom in your pocket.
If you ask yourself whether or not she is on the pill after you had sex with her, your white little friends are already on their way to her egg cell.
4. You Text Your Friends How Awesome It Was
You just had sex. It’s time to tell your friends that you got laid, to send a few Snapchat pictures of your trophy and to feel like superman.
Wait a moment.
Do you really want to expose a woman who was kind enough to spread her legs for you to a form of social pressure that has the power to destroy her opinion of men forever?
Please don’t be one of those insecure sleazebags who think that sharing the name and the pictures of the girl they just had sex with is the only way to boost their incredibly low self-esteem.
You are a Global Seducer. You are a man of honor, a man with integrity and a man who is smart enough to know that a woman’s biggest fear is to be labeled as a slut. Instead of giving your friends the chance to label her as a slut you should see her as a wonderful human being who you shared an amazing time with.
5. You Run Away
We’ve all seen these movies in which the handsome male character aka playboy with the red Porsche wakes up next to a girl after a night of drinking and partying. He then stands up, grabs his clothes, gets dressed and sneaks out the room. Right after he left the apartment complex he puts on his sunglasses and smiles like an Olympic winner.
Don’t be this guy.
In the movie the girl wakes up with perfect makeup and a smile on his face while she thinks about the great night with Roberto the Casanova.
In real life the girl you spent the night with wakes up with a terrible hangover and the disappointment that you are just another ball-less boy who doesn’t have the decency and the courage to wait until she is awake.
Have at least the decency to tell her that you have an important Quidditch game the next day 😉
6. You Act Like the Overly Attached Boyfriend
Walking away as if you don’t give a shit about the person who is lying next to you is the one extreme.
Thinking about moving in and spending the rest of your life with the person who is lying next to you is the other extreme.
I think you already know the overly attached girlfriend, but have you also met her better half?
You don’t want to be the asshole that leaves her alone without saying bye, but you also don’t want to be the overly attached boyfriend who thinks that every woman who sleeps with him is automatically “the one”.
Even if you want to be that guy (a lot of inexperienced guys think they want that), I highly recommend you to rethink this decision.
Being the overly attached boyfriend will motivate her to be the overly scared one night stand.
What to Do After Sex
Now that you know that farting like a rhinoceros on an onion diet is not the best way to spend the minutes after intercourse, it’s time to look at all the things you should do right after sex.
What to do after sex?
There are a lot of things you can do to make you and her feel happy and content. Even though telling your friend Bobby that you just came all over the cute girl who sits next to him in his economics class is a bad idea, you deserve your moment of glory.
1. Give Yourself a Mental Self-Five
Take a couple of minutes to admire the beautiful naked girl that you were able to attract right into your bed and tap yourself on the back. Reading all those long and detailed articles on a small website called globalseducer.com finally paid off.
It’s time for a mental self-five.
That feels good, right?
Yes it does, but now it’s time to have a look at all the things you can do after sex that require a bit more creativity, charm and empathy than giving yourself a high-five.
2. Ask Yourself if You Followed My Advice
The last thing you want is to be one of those guys who ask “how was it?” after they ejaculated on, inside or next to a beautiful female. Unless you are a good comedian, asking this question is the dumbest thing you can possibly do.
Now that you force yourself to not ask this question, even though you can’t stop thinking of it, you are faced with a big dilemma.
“How can I find out if she enjoyed the ride if I shouldn’t ask her?”
Well, as an experienced seducer you should know when a woman is satisfied. Words are dispensable. Your actions speak louder than words and if you acted the right way, you’ll have a sweaty and smiling naked woman next to you who is totally out of breath.
In case you just banged a professional athlete who doesn’t show those accompanying effects unless she would ride you for two hours straight, you can ask yourself a simple question:
“Did I follow Sebastian’s advice?”
3. Cuddle Her
What’s the number one thing men want to do after sex?
They want to turn around, fall asleep and snore for hours.
What’s the number one thing women want to do after sex?
The exact opposite!
While men need their space once they have accomplished the wonder of pumping semen out of their pipes, women are craving for attention, affection and physical contact.
As a passionate and empathic seducer it is your job to ignore your urge of having at least a two meter radius of space around you and to give her what she craves for. By doing this you show her that you know what women want and that you are willing to give them what they want. This tremendously increases your chances to enjoy a second round.
4. Bring Her Something to Drink
Have you read the articles that I have listed a couple of paragraphs above?
If you have, I am pretty sure that you pounded her like a marathon man and that you gave her at least one mind-blowing orgasm that changed her beliefs about sexual pleasure forever.
This poor girl must be exhausted. It is obvious that her vagina needed a lot of liquid to ensure a frictionless session, but her private parts are not the only parts of her body that lost a lot of liquid.
She is probably sweaty like a pair of underpants after a heavy workout.
Do you really want her to dehydrate right next to you?
You can either hope that the female police officer with short hair will believe you when you say that she died of dehydration, or you can be a gentleman and bring her a glass of water or a coffee. It’s up to you.
5. Joke Around
I already told you that you shouldn’t ask her “how was it?” unless it is obvious that you mean it in an ironic way. That being said, cracking a few jokes and making fun of the awkward situation you are in is something you can confidently do after you had sex.
The last thing a girl wants is to be in bed with a guy who is totally unconfident with the fact that two naked people who just mixed their body fluids lie next to each other.
Women feel comfortable when the man they are with feels comfortable.
Making fun of the awkwardness of this situation is totally okay. And please don’t pretend that the seconds after you had sex with someone for the first time are not at least a bit awkward. It’s absolutely normal to feel a bit weird when moaning and screaming suddenly turns into earsplitting silence.
Saying things like “that was a fun rollercoaster ride. Let’s do it again!” is better than stammering a weird “sooo…”
6. Tell Stacy that You’ll be Late
Joking apart, did you tell Stacy that you are at least one hour late?
As a guy who signed up for my awesome newsletter you have the mindset and the skills to set up multiple dates per week.
It can happen from time to time that you set up two dates on one day, without calculating the possibility that you get laid on the first date.
I remember one day where I had two days, one at about 2 pm and the next one at 9 pm. While I calculated the time I needed to connect with girl number one I didn’t consider the time I needed to ravage her bed.
What to do after sex?
Make sure that you text girl number two that you are late. You don’t want her to delete your number after she waited for you for more than an hour and you especially don’t want her to show up at your apartment while you are balls deep in girl number one.
7. Reactivate Her Clitoris
After you have told Stacy that you will be late you can focus all your attention on the cute and completely naked Susie who is lying right next to you. Once you have focused all your attention on her, you have probably just one thing in mind.
Allow me to ask you a question:
What do you REALLY want to do after you had sex with a beautiful girl?
After a few minutes of regeneration there is just one thing a man wants to do after he was inside a gorgeous girl, especially when he just slept with her for the first time.
He wants to do it again and the best way to introduce round number two is by getting her in the mood.
Nope, you don’t do this by taking her legs, spreading them like a hungry wolf and screaming “attack!”
You do this by recognizing that she is already sexually satisfied and that the fastest way to make her horny again is to use the relaxed state she is in and the sexual chemistry between you to your advantage.
8. Enjoy the Second Round
All I can really say right now is “enjoy the second round!”
No matter if you will stay in her memory as her one night lover or if you end up in a wonderful relationship with the girl you never thought would sleep with you on the first date…
Treat her good, show her the respect she deserves and don’t tell her about Stacy and that you read my book to get her.
Summed Up Wisdom
What to do after sex? As long as you don’t say anything stupid or fart right into her face, you can basically do whatever you want. Okay, there are also a couple of other things that you shouldn’t do. Don’t text your friends that you just had Sex with Susie, especially when they know her.
Running away without saying goodbye is also not very gentleman-like, but being the overly attached boyfriend is also not the perfect solution. Oh, and don’t think about birth control after you had sex. Do it before.
What to do after sex? After you have given yourself a mental self-five it is time to ask yourself if you have followed my advice, in order to determine whether or not she had a good time. Cuddling her is mandatory, joking around is appropriate and brining her something to drink can save her life.
Make sure that you tell the next girl who is waiting for you that you’ll be a bit late. After you have done that you can focus all your energy on the one who is lying next to you. Now you just have to push the right buttons and enjoy the second round.