What to Get Your Girlfriend for Valentine’s Day?
You might think I am weird, but I never asked myself this question.
Do you know why?
Because I think that every guy on this damn planet who asks himself this stupid question makes a crucial mistake by even thinking about giving his girlfriend a present, just because everyone tells him that this is the thing he has to do on this particular day.
So why did I then decide to write an article about this topic, even though this day is the last day on earth that I would celebrate?
Well, the only reason why I even know that this wonderful day is in less than two weeks is because I visited a good friend today.
We planned to watch a movie together. Unfortunately, I couldn’t concentrate on the movie for one second. He asked me every twenty seconds what he should buy his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. As if I would care about what kind of lame and unnecessary present he gives his girlfriend who is probably the last woman on this earth who deserves any kind of present.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Seriously, I wouldn’t even call his girlfriend a woman. Even though he will probably kick me in the balls if he ever finds out that I wrote this about the girl of his nightmares…uh dreams, I still feel like saying the truth.
Especially because he put her on the highest pedestal you can think of by seriously asking me if he should buy her a necklace for a few hundred dollars.
The moment he said that, I spit my water all over his TV. That was the moment where my inner voice screamed “it’s time for an intervention!” .
Enough was enough.
Besides the fact that the only thing I would give this dragon that he calls girlfriend is a one way ticket to a country on the other end of the world, I had to stop him from becoming another victim of the Valentine’s insanity.
I might not have said every word I am going to share with you now, but I am glad that I could convince him to skip the expensive present this year and to give her something that is way better for their relationship.
Let’s have a look at what I said to release him from his brainwashed existence and to rescue his relationship with the dragon.
What to Get Your Girlfriend For Valentine‘s Day: Not What Everyone Else Gets
What to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day? Well, it depends on what you want her to think of you. If you want that your girlfriend thinks that you are another average guy who belongs to the crowd of people who can’t think for themselves, you can do what everyone else does and give her what all guys give their girlfriends.
If you, however, want that she sees a self-confident guy in you who makes his own decisions and who doesn’t do something just because everyone else does it, you should rethink your plan of buying her whatever you wanted to buy her.
I can think of quite a few presents that you shouldn’t get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day.
My intuition tells me that you want to give her the following things….
Chocolate, Perfume and Flowers to Stand Out of the Crowd
What’s the best way to make you stand out of the crowd of all the other desperate guys who try to show their girlfriends that they are well-behaved puppies? Buy her chocolate, perfume or flowers. If you find a flower that is made of chocolate and smells like an expensive perfume you hit the check pot.
In case you don’t recognize the sarcasm in my words you can click here to show your girlfriend that you are so desperate for her attention that it is totally okay for you if she wipes her ass with your heart. Oh, and please let me know if you really want to buy that shit, because then I am going to install an affiliate link.
All I want to say is that giving her anything on Valentine’s Day is already retarded. Giving her the exact same stuff that all the other guys give their girlfriends is even more retarded.
If she has this facial expression after she saw your presents, you definitely made her day…
Yes, she will pretend to be delighted about receiving the same box of chocolate from you that her grandmother and her perverse 80 year old neighbor bought for her, but that doesn’t mean that she will love you more because of the few additional calories she can swallow.
Everything Else That Makes You Broke
What to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day in order to make her fall in love with you forever? Well, first of all you should ask yourself why you think that she will love you more if you give her a present. You must really have an amazing relationship.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day presents the same male logic comes into play that already gave rise to a lot of expensive bills on dates. Somehow it seems that whenever a man with low self-esteem wants to impress a woman, he decides to let his money speak. The only reason why money is replaced through expensive gifts when it comes to this wonderful day in February is because your girlfriend would feel like a hooker if you would thrust $50 into her hand.
Do you really want to spend your hard-earned money on a romantic weekend in a wellness hotel that you don’t even want to see from inside?
Do you really want to be one of those needy guys who hope to impress their girl with an expensive gift?
For god’s sake, you are a man!
You are a confident man who is on the path towards becoming a Global Seducer. You are not one of those insecure guys who need to buy every centimeter of their girlfriend’s pussy with expensive gifts.
You are different than the average frustrated man who thinks about buying his girlfriend the most expensive Valentine’s gift he can afford, while she cheats on him with her neighbor who doesn’t buy her shit. Because you are different, you should ask yourself a few questions before you agonize about what to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day.
Questions You Should Ask Yourself on Valentine’s Day
What kind of questions should you ask yourself a couple of days before this moronic day?
Well, “what to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day?” doesn’t belong to the type of questions you should ask yourself.
There is way more important stuff to think about.
Before you go out to buy her some unnecessary stuff she doesn’t need with money you don’t have to prove your love to a girl who you can’t even imagine marrying, you might want to ask yourself why everybody is so crazy about this day and if anything that we link to it is even remotely true.
What is the Origin of this Bullshit?
In case you are like the average Western guy you have already spent hundreds of dollars on chocolate boxes and flowers. You probably spent hours thinking about the right present and even more hours walking through countless shopping centers to find it, before you gave all those presents to girls whose names you don’t even remember.
Have you ever asked yourself why you even do that?
Have you ever thought about the fact that this whole concept of buying your girlfriend expensive stuff is nothing but a lie?
Have you ever thought about the fact that the origin of Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with buying presents?
Have you ever thought about the fact that not the couples, but the big corporations are the only ones who benefit from the $18.9 billion dollars that Americans spent on Valentine’s gifts every year?
This is sooo romantic!
In case you have never asked yourself those questions I politely ask you to think about them now!
Wake up. This day has nothing to do with flowers or chocolate boxes. The origin of Valentine’s Day has more to do with a bloody head than a box of chocolate.
Am I really the only one who thinks that dedicating this day to exorbitant consumerism is slightly ghoulish?
Is Consumption a Sign of Love?
I think it is pretty much obvious for everybody that we are constantly conditioned to consume, to consume and to consume a little bit more.
What, your phone is already two month old? Here you have the new version for only $999. It’s not better but it is new!!!
You know the game.
Whereas in our everyday life people try to give themselves the feeling of happiness by buying shit they neither need nor want, Valentine’s Day is the perfect chance to buy yourself a bit of love that you need, but otherwise don’t get.
But is it really a sign of love if you buy the girl of your dreams an expensive present, especially when everyone else buys their girlfriends the same thing, in the same store, on the same day?
Is consumption really a sign of love?
No, it is not. It is the same as if you would buy a girl a drink, in the hope to get her phone number. The only difference when you ask yourself what to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day is that you are already together with her and that you hope to get more than her number.
Does giving her a present show how much you love her?
Giving her a present doesn’t show anything. I don’t say that a present can’t show love, but if you only buy it because society tells you to do so, it only shows that you are another sheep in the flock.
Why Do You Let Society Decide When You Give Her a Present?
Why do you even let someone else tell you when you should give your girlfriend a present?
Do you also need someone who tells you on which day you should have sex with your girlfriend?
Developing your own opinion is the first step towards freedom my friend.
Doesn’t it make a lot more sense to ignore Valentine’s Day and to decide to celebrate your own special day?
I am pretty sure that you and your girlfriend can think of one particular day that is way more important to you than the 14th of February.
I mean, unless you have at least one memory that is more beautiful than the memory of a priest who got his head cut off, your relationship can’t be worth more than a Valentine’s card for $1.
Is She Worth a Valentines Gift?
Does your girlfriend even deserve an expensive gift from you?
I can confidently say that I have the best girlfriend I could ever ask for, but I know from a lot of guys that not everybody is that “lucky”. Until the day when you finally realize that ending up in a relationship with an amazing girl has nothing to do with luck, you might rot in a relationship with a girl who is anything but amazing. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.
If you really think that she deserves an expensive present, you deserve a long holiday in the madhouse
Besides thinking about how to become a great seducer in order to finally escape this relationship without ending up sexless and lifeless, you should also ask yourself if the girl you are with deserves a present.
In case she deserves both you and your present I want to congratulate you to your happy relationship.
If she, however, deserves neither you nor any present, I want to congratulate you to the realization that you need to change your life.
Does One Sign of Love Make Up For 364 Days Without Love?
What if you have been a lousy boyfriend for the last couple of months and she might deserve you, but she doesn’t deserve the way you treated her in the months before Valentine’s Day?
In case this question provokes a feeling of aggression and helplessness inside you, I just hit a tender spot.
Instead of hating me for saying something you already know you should thank me for giving you the chance to rescue your relationship.
I still believe that asking yourself what to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day is a stupid idea. However, I think Valentine’s Day offers a great opportunity to question whether or not you treated your girlfriend in a way that makes a gift completely redundant.
Instead of thinking about buying the perfect gift for her you might want to think about being the perfect boyfriend for her. If you are doing everything right during the remaining 364 days, the only gift she wants on Valentine’s Day is you.
The Only Thing You Should Get Your Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day
Have you asked yourself all those questions? Great!
Did you come to the conclusion that Valentine’s Day is complete bullshit? Even better!
Will you ask yourself what to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day ever again? For the sake of the beheaded priest I hope that the answer is “no”.
Now that we came to the conclusion that neither chocolate boxes nor ridiculously expensive gifts can replace a caring and loving boyfriend, you might ask yourself what to get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day without doing what all the other brainless sheep do.
What She Really Needs
There is only one thing that your girlfriend really needs on Valentine’s Day and that is your dick!
Forget about the box of chocolate and give her your dick in a box.
“Thank you so much honey. Protein is so much better for my diet than sugar!”
The only thing you have to do on the 14th of February is to give her your dick whenever she wants it. Fuck her like you have never fucked her before and she will be your Valentine.
Before I came up with the spontaneous idea that all your girlfriend needs on this special day is your dick, I wanted to talk about what she really needs on Valentine’s Day.
What was it again?
Ah, I remember it.
I wanted to say that the only thing your girl needs on this day is your love.
She doesn’t need your love in form of a gift, she needs your love in form of you, your kisses, your hugs and your…
…okay, maybe she also needs a man who has read my book.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Summed Up Wisdom
What to get your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? If you want to be like everyone else you can buy her chocolate, flowers and perfume, or you can buy her the most expensive gift you can find to show your everlasting neediness. Before you run in the next shopping center or force some poor amazon employees to make extra hours, you should ask yourself a couple of questions.
Asking yourself a few questions will make you realize that the origin of Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with chocolate boxes, that consumption has nothing to do with love and that you are just a minion if you let society dictate you when you should buy a gift for your girlfriend. Maybe she doesn’t even deserve a gift. Maybe she deserves a loving boyfriend instead of a gift. Who knows?
The only thing I know for sure is that there is one thing that will make your girlfriend happy on Valentine’s Day. It is on you whether it is your dick or your everlasting love.
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