My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want to Have Sex: 11 Causes and Solutions

Imagine yourself lying next to an incredibly beautiful woman. Just looking at her gorgeous body makes your heart thump and the fact that you can call this godsend creature your girlfriend makes you cry tears of joy.

She is smart, she is beautiful and she has the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Your relationship would be perfect, if there wouldn’t be this one tiny problem.

Your balls already turned into an unhealthy blue, you beat one every night and every morning you wake up with an erection with which you could stab a moose.

Could you please stop rubbing your on my leg when I know that you don’t take your panties off!? That’s torture!

The huge problem is that your girlfriend/fiancé/wife doesn’t help you to get rid of this erection. She lies next to you pointing her body towards you, without even thinking about opening her mouth or spreading her legs for you.

All you can think of whenever you lie awake trying to resist the temptation of placing her hand on your dick, because you don’t know if she will jerk it or squash it, is “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me…WHY???”

My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want to Have Sex! Here is Why…

If your girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with you I wouldn’t even call your relationship a real relationship. I don’t want to demoralize you, but it is simply a fact that a relationship without the sexual component is nothing but a friendship. It’s like being polite without being sexual. You end up being nice and that sucks in the same way as going to bed with blue balls.

When you look at the countless guys who wrote “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me” in forums all over the internet, you’ll realize very quickly, that you are not the only one who has this problems.

However, I am sure that you are one of the only ones who will change their behavior in a way that transforms their concern into a “my girlfriend wants to have sex with me all the time. How can I keep up with her?”

Why?

Because you found this article and therefore you belong to the select group of men who will realize the uncomfortable truth that your sex-less relationship is your mistake and that it is your responsibility to turn your relationship into a never ending fun.

I know that it is a hard pill to swallow, but there is only one reason for your sexual frustration that is not directly related to your own inability (soon to be ability) to get what you want…

She is Asexual

Okay, sometimes you have bad luck.

Maybe you won the negativity lottery and you found the one out of hundred who is actually asexual. Maybe you were unlucky enough to end up in a relationship with a gorgeous woman who you want to have sex with all day and all night long and she simply doesn’t enjoy it.

“You have a…how gross!”

According to studies about 1% of people are asexual and 70% of those asexual people are women. If you were unlucky enough to end up in a relationship with such a girl and she was unfair enough to not tell you about her little issue, the only advice I can give you is to end the relationship.

Don’t stay together with her, even if you love her. She probably lied to you and didn’t reveal the truth. I bet you won’t be able to convince her to take a lie detector test. But you can still get out. You save her and yourself a lot of pain if you end it as soon as you find out about her asexuality.

I know that it sounds brutal, but if you are a heterosexual man with a normal or even high sex drive, you will end up miserable and you will cheat on her (if you can even call it cheating).

But what if your girlfriend isn’t asexual and you still don’t get a piece from her muffin? 

You Do a Lot of Things Wrong

Well, if your girlfriend isn’t asexual and you still cry “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex!” while under the cold shower, you do a lot of things wrong.

I know that you are pissed at me for saying this and I know that you cross your arms in this exact moment, to symbolize that I am a dirty little liar who doesn’t know anything about your stupid bitchy girlfriend.

Of course you can continue to behave like a sulky child who tries to convince everyone that he didn’t do anything wrong. But before you take this road you should know that this behavior won’t inspire your girlfriend to hop on your dick.

What you can do instead is to punch your ego right in the face and accept that women (yes, your girlfriend is one of them) love to have sex. It might sound unbelievable, but the truth is that women can’t get enough of a dick, if it belongs to a man who knows how to light up their flame.

The True Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Want to Have Sex (and What You Can Do About it)

Do you know how to arouse her?

Otherwise the expression “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me” wouldn’t even cross your mind.

It’s time to make her say “I want to have sex with you. I want it more than anything else!”

I can only thank the universe that you are one of those guys who have the courage to accept that it is your responsibility to make the v of your beloved girlfriend wetter than the Mississippi.

That’s why I am going to share all the reasons why your girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with you and because I am such a nice guy I will also share everything you can do to make her scream:

“Yeah Sebastian, take me harder!”

In case your name is not Sebastian I want to deeply apologize for fantasizing about your girlfriend.

Let’s have a look at all the things you did wrong and all the things you can do to replace my name with yours…

1. You Stopped Seducing Her

Just because you managed to turn a girl into your girlfriend, doesn’t mean that she will stay in this role for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, this is an assumption that a lot of guys tend to make.

They think that now that they have “acquired” their girlfriend, they can lay back and enjoy the pleasures of being in a relationship without putting in the necessary time, effort and work.

Now that she calls you “boyfriend” killing people in the virtual world becomes more important than seducing her in the real world.

In other words:

If you believe that a seduction stops right with naming each other boyfriend and girlfriend, you don’t have to wonder why she doesn’t want to sleep with you.

Women want to be seduced by men and this desire doesn’t magically disappear as soon as they enter a relationship. If your girlfriend stopped jumping in bed with you, you probably stopped seducing her. Unless you give her the excitement, passion and your dominant male energy that she craves for, she won’t let you near her apple pie.

What to Do: Be a Seducer, not just Her Boyfriend

What can you do if you belong to the group of retired seducers who flushed their sex life down the toilet by being lazy?

Accept that the seduction never ends and act according to this belief. I don’t care if you are together with your girlfriend for two months or if you share the same bed for over two decades. She wants to be seduced and it is your job to give her what she needs.

Remember your first date, the first time you had sex and the first time she looked into your eyes while she told you that she loves you.

You must have done something that convinced her to become your girlfriend.

Do what you did back then. Give her compliments, hold her in your arms, kiss her with passion, tell her that you love her and caress her whole body as if every second you touch her would give you pleasure. Give her the passion, the excitement and the love that she needs and she will be more than willing to give you what you want.

2. You Stopped Looking Seductive

Do you remember how you looked when you went on the first date with your girlfriend?

I am pretty sure that you took a shower, got rid of your furry beard and that you put on the best shirt you could find in your closet. If you presented your girlfriend this handsome version of yourself and you now walk around in sweatpants and filthy shirts all day long, the expression “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex” is self-explanatory.

And you really ask yourself why your girlfriend doesn’t want to sleep wth you?

No woman wants to sleep with a man who cares so little about himself that he walks around like a wood gnome and who cares so little about her that he doesn’t make an effort to look good for her.

I already hear you say that she also doesn’t care about her looks anymore. Yes, maybe she gained a few pounds and maybe she didn’t touch her miniskirt since 1999, but are you inspiring her to change that?

What to Do: Become the Man She Fantasizes About

A woman is always the mirror of the man she is with and if you lead her by example to believe that dressing up for each other is not worth it, she won’t do it. In other words, it is your freaking job to show her what a handsome guy you are.

Look like a guy who she wouldn’t push out of the bed and she won’t push you out of the bed.  

That doesn’t mean that you have to book an appointment for a plastic surgery. All you have to do is to show her the best version of yourself. You might get angry at me for saying this, but if you are really honest to yourself you know that being 30 kilos overweight, walking around in sweatpants and smelling like a rotten rat is not the definition of your best self.

Become the man she fantasizes about and she will…

A: want to rip your clothes off

B: realize that she has to keep up with you if she doesn’t want to lose you.

Win-win baby!

3. She Doesn’t Have the Same Sexual Fetishes

If you try to live out a certain sexual fetish with her that she gets turned off by, like perhaps you wanted to try Geisha balls with her, the complaint “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me” seems to be the logical consequence.

Let’s assume that you try to sneak your way into her backdoor, but she absolutely hates it. Do you really think that she wants to have sex with you after you have tried it a couple of times?

If you force her to do something she doesn’t like, she won’t be too keen on getting naked in front of you.

“Do you want to join us? Maybe? Maybe later?”

What to Do: Find out What She Likes  

That’s why it is your job to find out what she likes. Once she knows that jumping in bed with you will lead to all the pleasurable activities and feelings that she enjoys so much, she won’t say no anymore.

The best thing is that you don’t need spy software or a lie detector to find out what she likes. Just ask her and have an honest conversation about your sexual fetishes and preferences. At first the conversation might be a bit awkward, especially when you never talked about those things, but eventually your relationship will improve.

Once you both know everything about each other’s sexual preferences you can decide which ones you both like. Now it’s up to you to test them in field.

4. You Tend to Skip the Foreplay

Do you know what the word “foreplay” means?

Apparently a lot of men have never heard about the concept of brining a woman to come before you put your dick inside her. Otherwise there wouldn’t be the guys who proudly claim that they have never licked a woman. This is quite sad and it can also be the rational explanation for your sexless life.

While a quickie is great every now and then, you shouldn’t aim for five seconds whenever you are in bed with your lady.

Women don’t just want to feel the rush in their vagina. They want to have the whole package.

I know that you are happy as soon as you put your dick inside her and that you are even happier when you pull it out after you are done, but for a woman there is more to sex than the act itself. She expects you to get her into the mood and she wants you to turn her on, before you take her clothes off.

What to Do: Make Her Sweat and Wet   

Are you ready for the short answer?

Don’t skip the foreplay!

Do you want the long answer?

Then listen to the naughty granny:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgOZXbzx84M

The process of undressing her, throwing her on the bed should take longer than five minutes. If she knows that you are a man who only cares about his own needs and not about her desire to have some action before the thrusting, her motivation to spread her legs for you will be very low.

Oh, and being good at this whole foreplay thing is especially important if you are a man who tends to come very fast.

If you are good at the foreplay part and if you know how to kiss, touch and how to make a woman ready, she won’t even realize that you came after five minutes. A woman who just had fun

won’t think about stopping the time until you have yours.

5. You are Not a Leader

“My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me!”

Do you deserve to have sex with your girlfriend?

I know that this is a brutal question, but in the eyes of a woman you are only worthy of sex if you are willing and able to lead her.

Women are not attracted to followers, they are attracted to leaders. In case you are a needy and insecure follower who forces her to take over the leadership, she will have zero desire to have sex with you.

Be honest and ask yourself if you are the one who wears the pants or if you force her to wear them while you are running around in pink skirts.

What to Do: Lead Her to the Bedroom

What should you do if you are not a leader and you can’t stop crying over the fact that your girlfriend doesn’t want to have your follower inside you?

Become a leader and lead her to the bedroom!

I don’t necessarily mean leading her to the bedroom in a physical way, even though this can be quite exciting for her. Before she lets you do that, you have to lead her emotionally and psychologically.

How do you lead a woman?

Nope, not through fear…

You do it with empathy, love and with the help of the two balls that are dangling between your legs.

Make decisions, speak your opinion and live according to your values. Once you are doing this on a regular basis she will follow you in the bedroom.

Where have you been all the time? I was waiting for you…

6. She Knows About Your Addiction

What do you do between 10 pm and midnight?

In case you are not sleeping with your girlfriend, which you are most likely not, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article, you are probably jerking off to movies. Don’t be shy about it. It’s okay to admit it. That’s how I see it – …admit it. Perhaps you are even using some kind of sex toys, like one of the penis pumps or something like that. And you think that your best penis pump will definitely not refuse you.

The majority of guys spend their nights in front of the laptop, even the ones who aren’t single. I have done the same throughout my four year relationship with my ex-girlfriend.

The tricky thing is that you jerk off to movies, because you think that she doesn’t want to sleep with you, without realizing that your addiction is the reason why she doesn’t let you near her.

While you think that watching movies is a great way to get rid of your sperm without cheating on her, she probably feels as if you would cheat on her every single night.

For women it can be harder to cope with an emotional infidelity than with a physical one.

Thanks to your little habit, the thought of lying underneath you makes her sick.

What to Do: Overcome Your Addiction

Addiction might not be as life-threatening as an addiction, but it has the power to destroy your sex life and your relationship. In case you have already destroyed your sex life by jerking off to thousands of girls who don’t look like your girlfriend, it is now time to rebuild your sex life and to rescue your relationship.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but being in a monogamous relationship implies that you promised yourself and the girl you are with that you won’t cheat.

Then stop cheating on her!

Yes, that includes every form of cheating, even the psychological one. Have an open conversation with your girlfriend and promise her and yourself to concentrate your sexual energy on her from now on.

Enjoy how her attitude towards having sex with you changes.

7. She is Romantic and You are a Jackhammer (Or the Other Way Around)

I already spoke about the dilemma you are faced with when you have completely different fetishes than your significant other. Now I am going to tell you that not only your fetishes but also your way of lovemaking have an influence on her desire to ride you like a pony.

I am not going to say that every woman is into vanilla sex and wants to be touched with velvet gloves. I am not that naive. There are times when a woman wants to get it rough as possible and there are times when she wants to make sweet love with you.

In case you are ignorant enough to pound her like a jackhammer when she is in Disney mode and naive enough to lay her on a bed of roses when she wants to feel like a movie star, you don’t have to wonder why your girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with you.

What to Do: Observe and Respond

Instead of sleeping with her the way you want and assuming that she likes it, you should her the way she wants it. Believe it or not, but this will increase her desire to have the same experience again and again.

You are just faced with one little problem.

“My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex. How the hell shall I beep her the way she wants it when she doesn’t even want to beep me?”

That’s a very good question and here is your answer:

Observe and respond.

This might sound like a typical Yoda line, but it is actually a very powerful way of getting your sex life back.

Observer the mood she is in, adjust your behavior and your way of leading to her mood and respond according to her emotional state.

8. You Mistakenly Assume that She Doesn’t Want Sex

I usually give the advice to avoid p like the plague, but if you are one of the guys who are naive enough to believe that your girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex, watching a movie might be educating.

I still remember the conversation I had with one guy at a party who found out about my blog. He told me that my true sex stories are really inspiring, but that he could never have such adventures with his girlfriend.

“She isn’t into sex that much…”

The moment he said that I wanted to do THIS and if the women in the room would have heard what he said to me, they would have done the same:

I didn’t want to tell him the truth in front of all the people. The possibility of having a crying man in my arms was simply too high. When I later told him that EVERY woman who isn’t asexual loves to have sex, he got angry at me and ended the conversation. A couple of days later he thanked me via WhatsApp.

What to Do: Escalate and See What Happens

Why did he thank me?

Because I gave him the advice to leave the “she is such an innocent angel who wouldn’t even think about touching a dick” behind him. 

Once he left the 1950’s mindset behind and arrived in the year 2015 in which women are sexually liberated, his relationship improved massively.

9. You Hurt Her Feelings

“My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me!”

Maybe you hurt her so bad that the thought of having sex with you is not that tempting. Women are highly sensitive human beings who usually don’t want to sleep with a man who hurt their feelings. You might not care if she drove over your mother, as long as she has a perfect as and is willing to ride you, but she cares about stuff like that.

She is at the peak of her arousal. Definitely.

In case “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex” is your biggest concern right now, you should ask yourself if you have done something that hurt her.

Maybe you don’t even see this ominous something as emotionally painful, but that doesn’t mean that she sees it the same way.

What to Do: Heal Her Emotions

Before you are ready to take care of her you have to take care of her emotional well-being. Right when you remember that killing her hamster Freddy by pointing the vacuum cleaner at him was not the best idea you ever had, you can start to heal her emotions.

Apologizing once is enough. Now it’s time to transform her negative emotions into positive emotions. Cuddle, hug and kiss her as much as you can. Once the funeral is over you have to show her that being together with you is actually quite fun.

Once you proved that you are fun to be around, she will soon remember that there was a time when it was fun to be on top of you.

10. You Failed Her Tests

What’s the fastest way to force a girl to lose her respect for you?

It’s not killing her mother and it’s not removing the condom and screaming “surprise!”

The fastest way to make her lose respect for you is to fail every single one of her tests. And there are a lot of different sneaky ways that your girlfriend tests you with. Failing one test is not the problem, but failing all of them will make you appear as a wussy who doesn’t deserve any respect. I think I don’t have to tell you that no woman wants to sleep with a wussy.

She asks you to hold her handbag while she is shopping. You do it without saying a word. FAIL!

She blames you for something that you haven’t even done. You apologize. FAIL!

She says something completely ridiculous. You agree with her. FAIL!

She makes fun of you in public. You accept it and smile. FAIL!

You think that she wants to sleep with you after all of this. FAIL!

What to Do: Give Her the Right Answer

Let’s have a look at what you can do to avoid being seen as a puppy that deserves a tap on the shoulder instead of a good .

She asks you to hold her handbag while she is shopping. You give her a passionate kiss and tell her that you hold it if she returns the favor in the fitting cabin. Shopping becomes fun. Winning!

She blames you for something that you haven’t even done. You let her have her emotional outburst, walk up to her and give her a hug. Winning!

She says something completely ridiculous. You ignore it and she forgets about it after a couple of seconds. Winning!

She makes fun of you in public. You tell her that you are gone if she will ever do it again. Now she knows her boundaries and she is turned on by your authority. Winning!

You think that she wants to sleep with you after all of this. Yes, she wants. Winning!

I hope you see the difference.

11. You Beg for Sex

I wanted to keep this one for the finish line.

“please let me worship you!”

If “my girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me” is something you say more often than during the days she has her period, you have a problem.

If you complain about your existence right after you begged her to sleep with you, you have a huge problem.

No matter how long it has been since you felt her 36 degree warm hole, begging for sex is the worst thing you can do!

Do you know what you are in the eyes of a woman if you beg her to sleep with you?

Then my friend, you are a pathetic little wimp. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I will do everything to make sure that you will never do this (again).

What to Do: Stop Begging and Start Acting

You have read this article up to here. This means that you know at least ten alternative ways to motivate your girlfriend to drop her panties without begging her to do it.

Then stop begging and start acting!

Seduce her, dress up for her, act in a way that doesn’t force her to lose her respect for you and give her the positive emotions she needs to feel in order to spread her legs for you.

You can do all those things, but please don’t even think about begging for sex.

Have you ever begged?

Then you need to read my book!

Summed Up Wisdom

“My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me!”

In this case you are screwed, unless…

you seduce her again, you become the man she fantasizes about, you find out what she likes in bed, you give her a fun time before you get down and dirty, you lead her to the bedroom, you overcome your addiction, you observe and respond, you see her as the sexual being she is, you heal her emotions, you pass her tests and you stop begging her for sex.

Now enjoy all the sex you will have with your girlfriend.