Today I want to show to show you how to stop being needy.
In case every girl who you end up dating runs away from you, you are either too needy or your dick smells like a rotten rat. In case you are so clingy and insecure that you put every girl who lets you type her number into your phone on a pedestal, it’s probably my first guess.
Whenever a guy meets a woman he has either the choice to react in a non-needy way or to react in a needy way.
The non-needy guy approaches her, has a five-minute conversation and takes her phone number. Even though he is content that he just got the number of such a beautiful girl, he continues to do what he wanted to do before he met her.
The next day he texts or calls her to set up a date. As the experienced seducer he is, he is completely relaxed on the first date. He keeps this relaxed attitude throughout the whole relationship.
The needy guy approaches her and can’t even focus on the conversation, because he is so concentrated on leaving a good first impression. When he gets her number he feels like the king of the world.
He instantly imagines moving together with her and starting a family. He is convinced that she is the girl he will end up marrying. He can’t concentrate on anything else until he finally calls her. He prays to god that she wants to see him. His prayer is heard.
He play-acts throughout the whole date, because he wants her to like him. Even though she could imagine a relationship with him when they met, he destroys everything with his behavior. She never calls him back after the second date.
Who do you want to be?
Why You Have to Stop Being Needy
Before I met Sasha Daygame and before I learned to seduce women I was guy number two. I was so needy that every girl who had at least a touch of dignity left me within days or weeks.
Back then I was convinced that showing my affection and love (after two days) was the best way to win the heart of every woman. I thought that women would love me if I just do all the things that needy guys typically do. Of course I interpreted my behavior as romantic, not as needy.
Unfortunately, calling a donkey a horse didn’t change the misery I maneuvered myself into. I just didn’t know it any better.
Today I know that everything I did was completely wrong and counterproductive.
You don’t have to make the same mistakes I made. All you have to do in order to prevent the countless humiliating experiences that I have been through is to invest some time and effort in learning how to stop being needy.
But why should you even work on becoming a man who isn’t needy in the presence of women?
In case you identify more with guy number two, you need to understand why your behavior is so disadvantageous for your success with women. After you have understood why you are ruining your dating life, your motivation to prevent your dating life from dying a horrible death will be a lot higher.
The Expression of Your Value
What do you communicate to a woman by acting like a desperate wimp?
Do you show her that you know that every human being has the same value?
Do you show her that you know that you are a valuable man?
The only thing you show her through this behavior is that you think that she is more valuable than you. Oh, excuse me. That’s not the only thing you communicate to her. You also communicate to her that you see yourself as a worthless piece of shit that doesn’t deserve a woman like her. If you would believe that you deserve her, you wouldn’t see the need to act needy.
What is the self-worth that you express by behaving in such a pathetic way?
The answer: ZERO
A guy who never learned how to stop being needy has a self-worth that equals zero. No woman wants to be together with a zero. Women want to be together with guys who know that a human being doesn’t automatically have a higher value, just because she has a pair of tits and an additional hole.
In order to become a guy that women don’t leave after a few days, you have to learn to love and to value yourself. Unless you don’t believe that a hot swimsuit model has the same value as you have, you will never be able to overcome your neediness.
Love and Fear are Not the Same
Do you really believe that your girlfriend is impressed when you agree with everything she says?
Do you really think that texting her every couple of minutes shows her how much you love her?
Deep down you know that these are nothing but lies you tell yourself.
Agreeing on everything a woman says only shows her that you are afraid to offend her with your honest opinion. Texting her every minute only shows that you are afraid she couldn’t text back because she is busy swallowing the cum of some other dude.
Behaving like a needy bitch because you are afraid that she will leave you for a guy whose dick might be a few centimeters bigger is not only stupid, it is also extremely desperate.
If you want to continue to appear like a milquetoast you can refrain from learning how to top being needy, but if you want to be able to attract and keep amazing women in your life, you have to conquer your fears.
You Destroy Every Relationship
Your behavior not only reveals that you regard yourself as unworthy and that you are controlled by your fears, it also makes it impossible for you to ever have a happy relationship.
No matter if you want an open relationship, a monogamous relationship, or a relationship that is strictly sexual, you will lose the girl you are with if you don’t learn how to stop being needy. If you don’t acknowledge to yourself that you have this problem and if you are not willing to work on it, you will lose every single girl you will ever meet.
Sometimes the only thing that gets hurt when a girl leaves you is your ego. Then she wasn’t that special.
Sometimes it is not your ego that gets hurt but your heart. These are the moments in which you will regret that you haven’t read this article to the end.
What Neediness Really Is
If you want to know how to stop being needy you have to be ready to ask yourself a few questions that you have never asked yourself before.
Every problem that you can possibly have has a cause and an effect. A guy who has a problem with alcohol might think that the alcohol itself is the problem, even though his fucked up childhood, his depressing job and his annoying wife are the true causes. His unhealthy habit is only an effect.
The guy who acts like a weak little puppy around a woman while he hopes to see her tits if he behaves this way and the alcoholic who drinks to forget his miserable life are in similar situations. They both do something that obviously hurts them, but they continue to do it without working on the real cause of their problem.
Being needy is the same as being addicted.
You are addicted to the approval of a woman, you are addicted to the feeling of being liked by someone and you are addicted to the positive reward that you hope to get through your behavior.
Due to the fact that your behavior is like an addiction and neediness is the problem you have to solve, I want to ask you something:
Is your needy behavior really the problem you have to work on?
Neediness is Just an Effect
In the same way as alcoholism is just the effect of negative past experiences, thoughts and beliefs, neediness is also just the effect of negative past experiences, thoughts and beliefs. It is the effect but it is never the cause.
No man suddenly decides that he wants to be a wimp who does things that won’t get him laid.
There must be some underlying reasons that make you think that the behavior you display will benefit you.
Maybe you have always been rewarded with sweets when you were a child and mommy made you feel special whenever you behaved like a well-raised puppy. Now you try the same behavior with women. Maybe you have watched too many Hollywood movies and you started to believe that Ben Stiller really got Jennifer Aniston only because he ate those fucking nuts from the street.
All those beliefs, experiences and misleading thoughts can be compensated by a guy who has one certain characteristic that a guy who comes from a place of neediness doesn’t have.
What is the one characteristic that determines whether or not you are able to ignore all the social conditioning and your past experiences in order to have success with women?
The True Problem is Your Self-Confidence
The one thing that makes all the difference is your self-confidence.
Of course there are dozens of small changes that you can make to overcome your neediness that I am going to share with you later, but the fundamental aspect you have to work on is your self-confidence.
Saying that the guys who behave in a very needy way are simply too naive to know it any better is…well, naive. Deep down every man knows what he wants to say to a woman he is attracted to. The only problem is that we ignore our instincts and authentic desires in order to adapt to the societal standards.
But what are those societal standards that we are taught to live by?
- Behave yourself.
- Be nice.
- Be polite.
- Don’t offend other people.
- Don’t speak to strangers.
- Don’t be rude.
- Do what you are told.
- Follow the rules.
All those things are thrown at us by products, the media, advertising companies and by people who believe in without questioning their opinions.
The big difference is that the guy who has a high self-confidence lives his life with authenticity and is not afraid to follow his instincts, whereas a guy with low self-confidence is scared to break out of the needy behavior that he internalized over the last decades.
The only way to learn how to stop being needy is by developing the necessary self-confidence that allows you to leave all the wrong beliefs and thoughts behind you and to reconnect with your authentic self. Once you have enough self-confidence to communicate your desires in an authentic way, you will simply tell a girl that you are attracted to her, instead of desperately begging her to let you touch her boobies.
If you are interested in reaching this level you can read this article.
How to Stop Being Needy: Change the Little Things
Self-confidence is the foundation for a life without neediness but transforming from a desperate loser to a self-confident man won’t happen overnight. It is a process that can take some time.
However, there are quite a few things that you can do to speed up this process. Some of the things that you have always done in the presence of women are so deeply anchored in you, that you won’t change your behavior, unless you develop awareness for them.
In case you are confident but you are used to see women as angels who fall from the sky like special snowflakes whose sole purpose is to heal your wounds, you won’t be able to delete this ridiculous belief, unless you become aware of it.
Stop Seeing the Princess She’s Not
Does the example with the angels and special snowflakes sound familiar to you?
If you really believe that, you don’t have to wonder why you are not able to learn how to stop being needy. Every man who regards women as their princess automatically acts like their minion. Unfortunately, no woman wants to date a minion when she can have a knight.
YES!!! You are…but you won’t be need anymore after you have read about my experience with the dark side…
Stop seeing women as something that they are not. Of course you will meet women who are special to you. I also regard my girlfriend as a very special person, but that doesn’t mean that I see her as a princess or an angel who has a higher value than me.
Even though I love her I know that she is a normal human being who has thoughts and feelings like every other human being.
She is not an angel, not a princess and she is definitely not worth more than I.
As the human being she is, she has the same value as any other human being.
That’s exactly how you should regard women. As soon as you regard a woman as more valuable than yourself, she will start to regard you as less valuable as herself.
In this case, she won’t have any respect of you and we all know what happens when a woman has no respect of a man.
Live in the Now
Neediness is always closely related to a certain level of fear of the future. You are worried that she won’t become your girlfriend. You are afraid that she will leave you if you don’t behave like her servant. You are afraid of what will happen in the future.
This fear motivates you to become a needy wimp who hopes that he can get or keep his dream woman by doing everything for her. Because you are constantly controlled by this fear, you won’t allow yourself to pause for a second and to think about whether your behavior is actually good or not.
Instead of living in the future you have to start living in the present moment.
The future is something unknown and unpredictable. That’s why we are always a bit afraid of it. The presence is the very moment you live in. There is nothing uncertain and frightening in the presence, only the possibility to shape your future the way you want it to be.
Stop focusing on the future and start focusing on the presence. This will eventually help you to calm your mind and to recognize what you can do in the here and now to keep her in the future.
Negative Thoughts Attract Negativity
I believe in the law of attraction and therefore I strongly believe that you attract whatever you project into the world. Your positive thoughts project positive energy into the world. As a consequence you attract positive things. Unfortunately, the same principle applies to your negative thoughts.
Is needy behavior filled with negative or positive energy?
Well, I wouldn’t describe fear, desperation and a low self-confidence as particularly positive.
A needy person is always a negative person and the process of learning how to stop being needy eventually requires to get rid of your negative thoughts.
When you come from a place of fear and desperation you can’t expect to attract a healthy relationship. The negative energy that you are projecting into the world will attract all the things that you don’t want. You basically force every woman to leave you.
A man who comes from a place of happiness and positivity projects positive energy into the world. As a result he attracts amazing women and healthy relationships. Leaving the dark side is always the first step on the hero’s journey. Luke Skywalker knows that.
Don’t Run the Stop Signs
Do you want to know how to stop being needy?
Then don’t ignore the stop signs.
Even if you are the neediest guy on this planet you can still rescue yourself by switching your brain on. Become aware of the signs that scream “no more!”
Every woman has a certain ability to withstand the stress that you cause by your behavior, but sooner or later she will get to the point where she can’t take it anymore. Your job is it to realize it before she reaches that point.
What are the typical stop signs that a woman might put in front of your face?
- Whenever you agree with her on something because you want to please her she sighs in an annoyed way. Stop!
- Whenever you call her she answer the phone with a stressed voice. Stop!
- She doesn’t respond, even if you send her three text messages in a row. Stop!
- Whenever you tell her that you will always stay together with her she says “I know…” and she doesn’t sound happy while she says it. Stop!
These are all stop signs that you should take seriously and that should motivate you to rethink your behavior. Once you are aware of them and changed your negative habits, you will understand how to stop being needy.
I know that you have an opinion and in case you are the needy type of guy I also know that you have never shared your true opinion with any of the women you tried to charm. This is a huge mistake.
If a woman wants a puppy who barks whenever she says something she goes to the animal shelter and not on a date.
A woman who agreed to meet you for a coffee wants to get to know YOU and not the fake persona that you pretend to be. Hearing your real opinion is not only important in order to get to know you. It is also the basic requirement to respect you. No woman will ever respect you if you don’t have enough self-respect to say what you want to say.
Trust or Fuck Off
One reason why a lot of guys behave like brown nosers is because they don’t trust the women they are with. And please don’t tell me that you trust your girlfriend when you ask her ten times a day if she still loves you and when you send her a text message every minute to see if she still responds.
No man who trusts the woman he is with would ever do that.
How do you stop being needy?
Trust the girl you are with or fuck off.
I know it sounds provocative but if you don’t trust your girlfriend, your relationship is doomed to fail.
Try to develop the trust that a healthy relationship needs. If you can’t do that, end the relationship and look for a woman who you can trust. The more you show a woman that you don’t trust her, the more you force her to give you a reason for your mistrust. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy you won’t be able stop.
Ask Yourself What You Really Need
How can you finally stop being so goddamn needy?
Ask yourself what you really need (Hint: You need to read my book).
Being needy implies that you behave in a certain way because you hope that this behavior will lead to the fulfillment of your needs. The only reason why you are needy is because you need something. At least you think that you need something.
Have you ever asked yourself if the outcome that you hope to achieve by behaving needy is really something that you need?
Think about it and let me know in the comments below…
Summed Up Wisdom
How to stop being needy? First you have to understand that being needy shows that you don’t value yourself, that you are controlled by fear and that your behavior destroys every chance on a healthy relationship. In the next step you should become aware of the fact that neediness is not the cause that you have to work on, but only the effect of a low self-confidence.
Of course there are other things besides working on your self-confidence that can teach you how to stop being needy. Stop regarding women as something they are not and start to live in the now. In addition to that, you should become aware of your negative thoughts and of the stop signs women show you. Representing your own opinion and working on your ability to trust will also teach you how to stop being needy.
Last but not least you should ask yourself if you really need what you think you need…