You like Chinese girls, huh? And you want to date them.
My friend Paul wanted the same. Now he’s married to a beautiful woman who was born in Chengdu and lives with him in Germany. He’s my best friend and his wife, now that I know her for a couple of years, is one of my closest female friends.
She’s fun, beautiful, intelligent…the whole package.
He met her on this Chinese dating site, but that’s not of interest now. What’s far more interesting is that his wife agreed to an interview with me. I wanted to understand everything about meeting and dating Chinese women.
She was willing to tell me…
- The truth about their agenda and why the leftover women are a blessing for Western men.
- What the real patriarchy has to do with the fact that they’re seeking American men.
- Why picking up Chinese babes on Facebook is the dumbest idea ever.
- Why dating these girls is like carrying a 5-year-old Koala…and why you will love it.
This is not one of these boring “10 tips” articles that only talk about their soft light skin, long legs, and straight black hair.
This is the ultimate truth from a Chinese woman who dated and is now married to a Western man…
14 Secrets of Chinese Girls and Their True Agenda
Understanding Chinese women is harder than understanding the theory of relativity. Or at least I thought so until Lucy poured out her heart.
I call my friend’s wife Lucy. He’s cool with the fact that I use his real name. She isn’t. In fact, she told me that she will, and I cite “chop off your balls and use them as Christmas decoration” if I mention her real name on this site.
That’s why I call her Lucy because everyone knows Lucy Liu.
After she threatened me to take my precious balls, I thought that the answer to the question “what are Chinese women like?” must be crazy, violent, and insane.
Well, I was wrong. Here’s what they are really like…
1. Chinese American Women are Not the Real Deal
“No matter if she’s an American born Chinese girl or if she has been born in Germany, the UK, or Bolivia, she’s not a REAL Chinese woman.”
I still don’t know how she came up with Bolivia, but I think you get the point.
This article is about the girls who are born on the mainland. If you are looking for advice on girls in Hong Kong and girls in Singapore, you can click on these two links.
What if you’re looking for advice on how to date a Chinese girl in America?
She might look Chinese, but her values are Western. No big difference.
It’s far more interesting to date a girl from Beijing or Shanghai and maybe even one from Guangzhou…
2. Beijing, Shanghai Should Be Your Second Choice
“Stay away from the girls in Beijing and Shanghai!”
Okay, let me take back what I just said a moment ago. According to Lucy, you should stay away from these two cities because…
- Beijing and Shanghai girls are too westernized.
- They consider work more important than family.
- They are spoilt and high-maintenance.
- These two cities are overrun by foreigners.
In other words, if the girl you’re talking to online is from a small town aka a city with less than 10 million people, you can meet thousands of traditional Chinese girls who…
- Are Down to earth.
- Believe in traditional gender roles.
- Would give their arm for meeting a man like you.
3. Rich Chinese Women are Desperate
This was a hard pill to swallow.
I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t. The idea that it’s easier to seduce a glamorous Chinese model with cash than a poor farmer girl blew my mind. It sounded too good to be true.
Then she explained it to me.
“The richer she is, the higher the chance that she is single, lonely, and that she can’t find a man who wants to date her. There’s one thing that you need to understand about Chinese men. A German man might be okay with the fact that his partner earns more. A Chinese man is intimidated by that and will never accept it.”
I was still skeptical until she told me that successful Chinese women know that a relationship with a Western man is their only chance to not get suppressed.
Somehow it makes sense.
4. The Leftover Women in China are Even More Desperate
Have you ever heard of the Chinese leftover women?
In China you are considered a leftover woman if you’re over 30 and still not married. Yep, in the West it’s normal. In the East it’s a shame, a disgrace, and a reason to cry in front of a camera.
While women in the West believe that it’s easy to meet prince charming beyond the age of forty, young Chinese women at the age of 27 are less deluded. They know that the clock is ticking.
What does that mean for your dating success in China?
It means that about 90% of the single women over 27 would love to date you.
Heck, they will talk about marriage on the second date. Chinese men don’t want to marry a 31-year-old woman, but a lonely 31-year-old Chinese lady would be happy to marry a 51-year-old Western man.
5. Accept that Cute Chinese Women Act Like 5-Year-Old Children
Just because a woman is older than 20 doesn’t mean that she’s mature. Mature Chinese women do not exist, no matter how old they are.
I guarantee you that your future Chinese girlfriend…
- Gets cute temper tantrums.
- Acts like a 14-year-old child (at least most of the time).
- Has more than 32 teddy bears in her bedroom.
I hope I can keep my balls because I’m not allowed to reveal this but I love taking risks…
Lucy told me that Paul wanted to remove all the teddy bears from the bed before they had sex for the first time. I think I would do the same.
6. Don’t Get Blinded by Gorgeous Chinese Women
“Some of them wear so much makeup that you can’t resist them. Just remember that Chinese girls without makeup look worse than with makeup. And they might have a smelly butt.”
Thanks for the advice…I guess.
What she’s trying to say is that Chinese women know how to make a man stop and stare. They do everything to look feminine. They wear necklaces, beautiful dresses, and bracelets in areas where I didn’t know you could wear them. Oh, and they love to present their slim bodies, their long legs and their even longer hair.
When I asked Lucy why she cut her hair after she got married, she just smiled. Paul didn’t smile.
7. Do Chinese Girls Like White Guys?
Chinese women love white men, just like all the other Asian girls.
They are conditioned to believe that dating a white guy is like winning the jackpot in candy crush.
Heck, scientists even believe that the fact that they are so obsessed with white skin and having light-skinned partners because of a mutation of the OCA2 gene about 15.224 years ago.
No matter if it’s because of their culture or their genetics, it’s easy for a white guy like me to find a girlfriend or wife in this big-ass country.
8. Do Chinese Women Like Black Men?
Lucy doesn’t. That’s why she married Paul.
In case you are black, I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t want to change her answers just to appear politically correct. The harsh truth is that dating Chinese women as a black man is hard.
In fact, one of Lucy’s friends was in a relationship with a black man while she studied in the UK…until her parents threatened to disinherit her.
Yes, it’s difficult, but it’s not impossible because things are getting better every day for black people in China…
9. Your Chinese Mail Order Bride Will Learn Your Language
Do you know how long it took Lucy to learn German?
German is one of the most difficult languages in the world. I know this because I’m a native speaker and I still can’t speak properly. I’m not kidding when I say that Chinese mail order brides are experts in acquiring language skills.
What if you’re an English native speaker?
She’ll be able to communicate with you within 6 months or less. Their work ethic is unbelievable.
10. The Women in China Know How to Work Hard
Speaking of work ethic…
Don’t be intimidated when some of the girls you’ll meet online can’t meet you on the same day. They will reply, but they might be busy studying two degrees at the same time or finishing their PhD.
Why do you think there are so many beautiful AND successful Chinese women who can’t find a man?
They have an incredible work ethic. Just don’t be intimidated by it and you can enjoy the company of a feminine and successful woman.
11. Beautiful Chinese Women Speak Loudly
One of the biggest disadvantages of dating a Chinese woman:
And no, I’m not talking about her screaming in bed. I’m talking about her screaming no matter where she is. If you have ever been in a hotel with more than 10 Chinese guests, you know exactly what I mean.
You go insane.
During our interview, I had to remind her 353 times that I sit right next to her. She still screamed in my left ear. Now I have a tinnitus.
12. Don’t Date a Chinese Girl If You’re Greedy
“Chinese women can be very materialistic. And we can’t deal with money. There are a lot of gold diggers. But I’m the opposite.”
I know that she is not a gold digger because she comes from a quite wealthy family and she supports Paul more than he supports her (at least financially). But I also know that Chinese women love to spend money on luxury items.
Remember, this was once (and somehow still is) a communist country. Today it’s the most materialistic country in the world.
Your Chinese girlfriend wants to enjoy the blessings (or shall I call them curses?) of the materialistic revolution. No handbag is too expensive for her.
13. Chinese Women Are Seeking American Men Because of the Patriarchy
I’m not a tigglypuff who screams “the patriarchy must fall!” while having a temper tantrum, but it’s time to talk about the patriarchy.
Bear with me for a second. What I’m about to say answers the question “do Chinese women like American men?”
I’m not talking about the imaginary patriarchy in the West. No, I’m talking about the reason why millions of beautiful Chinese women are seeking American men and men from other Western countries
It’s because of the cultural differences between the USA and China.
She wants to be your loyal wife because it gives her more freedom than being single in her home country. She would be happy to enjoy the freedom in the oh-so-evil Western patriarchy.
14. What Do Chinese Women Like? Stability
Are Chinese girls easy?
Come on, I know that you’re asking yourself this question. Every man who wants to date Chinese women wants to know that.
Here’s what Lucy says:
“Most Chinese girls are looking for stability because China is a chaotic country where everyone works at least 10 hours a day. Then there’s the pressure from her family to find a boyfriend and to get married. The idea of having a stable relationship with a Western man can be so enticing that a lot of girls will sleep with you the first night. So yes, Chinese girls are easy, but they don’t want to be promiscuous. They are looking for stability.”
I leave you with that.
10 Secrets to Search, Find and Meet Chinese Girls
Now you know why they are considered easy.
But do you also know where you can meet thousands of Chinese women who are looking for Western men?
Lucy told me everything.
- She told me where she met her husband (I already knew that).
- She told me why you should meet girls from Chengdu (I had no idea).
- She gave me a rant about Chinese party girls (you’ll love it).
And she gave a motivation speech that makes Martin Luther King Jr’s “I have a dream” speech look like a haiku…
15. The Beautiful Women of China are a Minority (So What?)
“There are more men than women, but that doesn’t mean! You are a Western man! Man up, sign up on an online dating site, and chat with girls. We don’t bite. These girls are looking for you and you waste your time masturbating to Japanese videos because you think that you have no chance in a country that has more men than women. For sake, these girls signed up on the online dating site because they want to meet foreign men and NOT because they want to meet Chinese men. Take action!”
That’s just the translation. It sounded way more aggressive in German. Her husband was hiding behind the sofa.
The moral of the story:
The Chinese Gender imbalance is real but so what?
Take your chance!
16. Lucy Met Paul on China Love Cupid
Lucy met her husband Paul on China Love Cupid. They met a couple of years ago when this dating site was still called Chineselovelinks.
I don’t want to repeat how shocked I was when my best friend Paul told me that he met a girl on a Chinese online dating site and that he planned to marry her. I already shared this story in my Chinese Love Links review.
I will link to it anyway.
I have to because otherwise you might not believe me that…
- I sent 80 messages and received 62 replies.
- I had a response rate of 77.5%.
- The girls who replied could speak English.
Click here to see the screenshots of the replies I got from stunning girls on the only Chinese online dating site with more than 1 million members
17. Are You Looking for Chinese Brides for Marriage? Do This
“No matter if you are looking for a girlfriend or for a wife, focus on the traditional girls!”
That’s her advice and I can’t blame her for giving it.
Let’s face it. Marrying a Chinese woman is a huge step.
You will find a lot of beautiful Chinese women for marriage on China Love Cupid…thousands of them. They all want to find a husband but not all of them deserve you as a husband.
Don’t blindly believe that a woman has traditional values and wants to be your loyal wife, just because she was born in a traditional country. It might be ten times harder to sleep with a traditional Chinese woman, but it’s also ten times more rewarding in the long-run.
Paul smiled when Lucy talked about how she kept him waiting. They are happy.
18. Message to Your Belly: Search for Chinese Single Women in Guangzhou
Okay, China Love Cupid is the best Chinese dating site. And if you’re looking for a serious relationship you should look for traditional girls outside of Beijing and Shanghai.
So, where should you search?
Well, in case you are a foodie, you should look for girls in Guangzhou because the food is so damn good.
While I dream about the Guangzhou cuisine, my friend Paul looks like grumpy cat. Lucy is from Chengdu, a city where they cook Sichuan food, which is spicy as hell. I’m used to Thai food but when Lucy cooks, I cry tears of pain.
19. You Will Find a Chinese Wife in Chengdu
Yes, the food is so spicy that you’ll have diarrhea after your first date, but the women are incredibly beautiful. Maybe it’s because they eat chilly all day.
Chengdu is known as the city with the most beautiful Chinese women.
According to Lucy, Chengdu girls are more beautiful than Shanghai girls and less stuck-up and materialistic. But I don’t know if I can trust her on this because she’s one of them.
All I know is that the search function in China love Cupid makes it easy to chat with as many gorgeous Chengdu girls as you want.
20. Picking Up Chinese Girls on Facebook is the Dumbest Idea Ever
A couple of weeks ago I received an email with the question “how can I meet Chinese girls on Facebook?”
You won’t find many Chinese girls on Facebook unless they live in Hong Kong because it’s blocked on the mainland. Feel free to delete your Facebook messenger, Snapchat and WhatsApp.
The only thing you’ll need is WeChat. Every girl in this country has WeChat.
21. Looking for a Chinese Girlfriend in a Club is the Second Dumbest Idea Ever
Sorry, but I have to censor the other words she used.
You have to understand that my friend’s wife comes from a wealthy but traditional family. She was not allowed to go to clubs. None of her friends ever went to a club.
I guess she’s exaggerating, but I agree with her on one thing:
Clubs are terrible for meeting sane, sober, and loyal women.
22. You Can Also Meet Sweet Chinese Girls at a Tea Ceremony Class
“What the heck is a tea ceremony class?” I hear you asking.
Well, it’s a class where you learn how to make, prepare, and serve tea. And yes, I know that no human being with a Y chromosome gives a flying beep about that. But that’s not the point.
The point is that young Chinese girls go to tea ceremony classes.
- You are the only man among dozens of beautiful girls.
- You are the only foreigner in the class.
- It’s not creepy because you can say that you want to experience the local culture.
Guess what the attendees want to experience with you.
23. And You Can Meet Beautiful Sexy Chinese Girls in an English Class
I’m German. I could take an English class and say that I want to work for an international company in China. 80% of the people who take an English class in China are women.
What if you’re American, Australian, or British? Work as an English teacher and say that you always wanted to teach English in to foreigners. Did I mention that 80% of the people who take an English class in China are women?
“You can seduce one of your students…hehehe”
Her laugh was really evil. Paul looked shocked.
24. One Last Tip Before I Show You How to Get a Chinese Girlfriend
There’s one more thing you have to know BEFORE your first date:
Dating Chinese women is like dating a CIA agent.
- You will be questioned.
- She wants to know everything about you.
- She’ll get upset if you try to keep a secret.
Remember that these girls are looking for a partner and not for a one-night stand. She wants to make sure that you’re the right guy for her and that she’s the right woman for you.
Prepare yourself. That’s all I want to say.
11 Secrets that Help YOU to Get a Chinese Girlfriend
Why should you go to a tea ceremony?
What should you do on the first date?
Survive her Interview!
You now understand Chinese women AND you know where to meet them. But you still don’t know what you have to do to turn the stranger from China Love Cupid into your loyal girlfriend.
Continue if you’re ready to find out…
25. Getting a Chinese Girlfriend is Not the Problem
Again, a few motivational words from Lucy:
“You don’t have to do much to get a Chinese girlfriend. We are crazy for foreigners because we believe that everything from the West is better, even the men. I guess that happens when a whole economy is based on copying from the West. They are so obsessed with white skin that they run around with an umbrella in the summer.”
It is easy to find a Chinese girlfriend, but it’s a lot harder to attract the right girl.
Paul stared at her like a deer in the headlights.
“Do you…do you still take the pill?” he asked with a shocked face.
26. How to Go on a Date with a Chinese Girl: Plan and Execute
“Just ask her where she wants to go and when she has time.”
If you ever get this advice from a guy who supposedly was in China, you know that he’s lying. That’s not how it works in the land of the red dragon. The only way to get a date in this country is by following this simple three-step model:
- Tell her that you want to go on a date with her.
- Tell her where you want her to meet.
- Tell her when she should show up (and say that you expect her to be on time).
She might even be on time. I mean, you’re not in Thailand. But she will only show up if YOU plan the date while she can fulfill her role as a passive woman.
27. Explain Why You Are Perfect for Each Other (According to the Chinese Horoscope Compatibility)
Have you ever heard of the Chinese Astrology compatibility?
According to my friend’s wife, Chinese women believe in star sign or zodiac love compatibility, however you want to call it. I have to be honest. I have absolutely no idea what that is nor have I heard of it prior to my interview with Lucy.
All I know (now) is that a lot of girls believe in it.
Have a look at this article if you want to find out more.
28. Sexy Chinese Babes Want to Be More than Hot
Remember what I said about the patriarchy?
Chinese women hate the fact that they live in a culture that doesn’t value women. I mean, not so long ago female babies were killed and aborted. It’s a culture where women are seen as beautiful objects, not as valuable members of society.
That’s why it’s your job to show her that she’s a valuable human being.
Appreciate her characteristics, her qualities, her behavior, her humor, her opinion. No matter what you appreciate, your appreciation will melt her heart.
29. Even the Hottest Girl in China Wants to Have Longer Legs and Lighter Skin
What if you still want to give her a compliment on her looks?
Focus on these three body parts:
- Her light skin (even if she has darker skin)
- Her long legs (even if they look like French fries)
- Her style (even if she looks like the girl in the picture below)
Just don’t say something along the lines of “have you had a plastic surgery?” or “I love your dark skin my cute chocolate fudge.”
30. Don’t Ever Talk About the Difference between Chinese and Japanese Women
No matter what you do, don’t ever compare Chinese with Japanese women. Yes, talking about Vietnamese women and Korean women is okay, but talking about Japanese girls is a NOT okay. Don’t do it. You will regret it and your balls might regret it too.
There’s one thing that the people in the land of the red dragon hate more than anything else: Japan
Watch this video if you’re interested in the history (WARNING: graphical content):
All you have to know is that you will never get a Chinese girlfriend if you compare her with Japanese women.
Quick story: On her birthday I gave Lucy a cake with a Japanese flag. Her facial expression was priceless.
31. How to Seduce a Chinese woman: Be a Gentleman
Be a gentleman, but don’t be a generous gentleman.
In other words, be different than the local guys. Don’t try to buy her. Instead, seduce her. Don’t try to compete with your credit card. Compete with your charm and your appreciation for her.
I know, it sounds simple, too simple. But it works.
You are not in the West. You don’t need to act. You just need to be…and to open the door for her.
32. Dating Chinese Girls is About Making the Right Jokes
“It’s not that Chinese girls have no humor. We just don’t understand sarcasm.”
That’s so true.
I still remember the first time I made a sarcastic joke. No, I don’t mean the birthday cake with the Japanese flag.
Lucy didn’t get it. She looked at me like THIS…
Then I did it again…and again…and another joke. Now that she and my best friend are already married for almost one year, she finally gets it.
33. How to Impress Chinese Girls with Your Cultural Knowledge
Don’t be an ignorant jerk. Period.
- Study the Chinese culture.
- Learn one or two things about the local dating culture (you’re doing this right now)
- Tell her that you love the Chinese culture.
“I don’t need to know anything about the culture to tell her that I love it” you might say.
Well, that’s true, but what if she asks “WHY?”
Now you’re screwed.
Do your homework and you can give her the feeling that you’re not just here because of the women. She needs this.
34. Sex with Chinese Women Can be Dangerous
I wanted to share this before I tell you the truth about dating a Chinese girl, even though Paul threatened me to order a ladyboy hooker to my house if I don’t keep this a secret.
Another risk I have to take.
Here are a few things you need to know about Chinese women and sex:
- Chinese sex culture in two words: No education.
- Contraceptive use: Only 1.7% of married women are on the pill (most single women don’t take it either)
- Fun: Men have them, right?
“Before I met Paul, I didn’t even know the purpose of my clitoris.”
I laughed so hard when Lucy said this that I coughed like a chainsmoker.
The moral of the story:
Don’t assume that she’s on the pill just because she doesn’t ask you to put on a condom. She has probably never seen either of these things.
35. Jackie Chan Approves of Dating a Girl from China
Do you still feel guilty about wanting a Chinese girlfriend?
- Maybe you feel ashamed that you have yellow fever (Psst…I have it too).
- Maybe a white girl you know told you that dating Asian girls is weird.
- Maybe you are still not sure if you should read my China Love Cupid review.
Don’t worry. It’s totally okay to have the desire to have Chinese gf. Jackie Chan says that it’s cool so it’s cool.
10 Secrets You Must Know about Dating a Chinese Woman
Just because she’s from the land of the red dragon doesn’t mean that she’s a dragon.
“Chinese girls are the best girlfriends!”
That’s what Lucy said. But I think we all can agree that this statement is biased. That’s why I wanted to know more. So I asked her a few questions.
Here are the answers…
36. Do Chinese Women Cheat? Not if You Are Serious
“It’s pretty simple. If you play with her, she will look for another guy who hopefully doesn’t play with her. And yes, she will sleep with this guy because she wants stability and if you’re not willing to give her stability, she will continue her search.”
She wants to be your loyal partner, but she expects the same from you.
It makes sense. Her mother told her that finding the right man should be her number one priority. That’s why she does everything to get you (sleep with you fast) and everything to keep you (stay loyal).
37. How to Get a Chinese Girl to Like You: Meet Her Parents
Are you serious about her? Meet her parents
Sorry, but there’s no way around it. Her parents want to meet you and she wants you to meet her parents. That’s the tradition. It’s THE most important ritual in the Chinese dating culture.
Remember how I told you to study the Chinese culture?
If you follow this advice, meeting her parents will be fun. If you don’t know the difference between China and Japan, it will be your last day on earth.
38. Keep in Mind that Hot Chinese Girls Have Nasty Grandmothers
Her family wants to meet her boyfriend. But they are suspicious. You have a long nose, big eyes, and what if you want to pimp their daughter? You could be a sex offender…or a Japanese man who had a plastic surgery. Who knows?
Oh, and her grandmother will hate you. You can’t change an old Chinese lady.
The stigma of dating foreigners is much higher in China than in the Philippines or in Thailand where it’s already a part of the culture. A couple of decades ago there were no foreigners. You might be the first alien her grandmother sees.
But at least her mom will love you because she already imagines cute half-Asian grandchildren.
39. Attractive Chinese Women Practice Radical Honesty
Asian women are submissive. They never say what they think. They are afraid of conflict.
Does that sound familiar?
Yes, some Asian women are like that. Not the women in China. They practice radical honesty.
- You stink? She will tell you.
- Your shirt looks terrible? She will tell you.
- She doesn’t like your haircut? She will take you to the hairdresser.
I love this about Lucy. She has no problem with telling Paul how much his style sucks (it really does).
That’s true love.
40. Jealousy is a Common Characteristic among Chinese Women
There’s one thing that Chinese men are not and that’s monogamous.
That’s why there are millions of Chinese girls with trust issues, paranoia, and jealousy attacks that remind of Donald Ducks temper tantrums.
“Remember when you freaked out because I talked to this other Chinese girl I met at the library?” Paul interrupted our interview.
This moment proved everything Lucy told me. She looked at him as if she wanted to kill him…slowly. I guess even the kindest woman can turn into a monster when she’s jealous.
41. Chinese Women are Not Afraid to Get Naked with Their Friends
You’re imagine five naked Chinese girls showering together, am I right?
But that’s not what I mean by getting naked. I’m talking about revealing emotions, stories, and secrets. And these sexy Asian ladies are extremely good at this.
A Thai girl would never tell her friends about her relationship, her sex life, and the size of your dingdong. A Chinese girl, however, has no problem with that. Just don’t be surprised when her 1000 closest friends know everything about you, her, and your relationship.
42. Do Chinese Women Like Sex? Yes, Even Before Marriage
Okay, let’s talk about getting naked…the real way.
I already told you that they have no sexual education and that most of them don’t know the difference between the pill and M&Ms.
- So, do they actually like sex?
- And how are Chinese girls in bed?
- What is it like to have sex with a Chinese girl?
Paul wanted to open his mouth, but Lucy shut him up.
I guess she was afraid that he would reveal too much. That’s why I have to answer your questions with another one of Lucy’s quotes.
“Like I already mentioned, before I met Paul, I didn’t even know what sexual pleasure is. That’s one reason why the idea of dating a foreigner was so enticing. You guys know what you do. A lot of the local guys have no clue because their parents didn’t educate them, the school didn’t educate them, and videos are banned (source)."
43. Dating a Chinese Girl is Like Carrying a Koala
Have you ever carried a Koala?
That’s what it’s like to date a Chinese woman.
When Lucy tried to explain how clingy they can be, Paul nodded with his head. He looked like this guy…
They want stability and whenever they are afraid to lose it, they cling to you like a Koala. Some guys love it. Some guys hate it. Accept it because you can’t change it.
44. This is Why Dating in China is Fun for Foreigners
One reason why your Chinese girlfriend treats you like a king is because her mom conditioned her to believe that losing a man is the most shameful event in the history of shameful events. The only thing that’s worse is not finding a man.
- She cooks for you.
- She pleases you.
- She washes your stinky boxers.
Yes, she does it because she loves you but she also does it because she wants to make mommy proud. And mommy doesn’t like it when her daughter is single.
45. One Last Message for Everyone Who is Looking for a Beautiful Chinese Women for Marriage
You are dating a Chinese mail order bride and NOT a Western woman.
Just because you get married doesn’t mean that your sex life goes down the drain.
Yes, she will be passive in bed but that’s her role. That shouldn’t stop you from having kinky sex with Chinese school girl and college girl outfits. Encourage her to have fun and your marriage will be great.
I know that this is one of the secrets of Paul’s and Lucy’s successful marriage because I’ve seen the costumes in their closet.
6 Secret Tips for Not Getting Kicked Out By Your Chinese Girlfriend (or Wife)
Sometimes I wonder how Paul managed to not get kicked out of the house. I mean, Lucy is everything that he’s not.
- She has style.
- She has an incredible work ethic.
- She is so kind that it makes you want to hug her.
Don’t get me wrong. They are happy and I have no intention to steal her from him. All I want to say is that she plays in the league of awesome while he decided to stay in the league of average (sorry buddy, but you know that it’s true).
Marrying a Chinese girl is easy.
Staying married and enjoying a healthy and happy relationship is another challenge.
Are you ready for this challenge?
46. She Wants to Get Married as Fast as Possible. Period
Did I just say that marrying a Chinese girl is easy?
Yes, I did and here’s why:
According to an exploratory study of dating and martial preferences among Chinese young adults that was conducted by Dr. Gregory Mavrides, merely 62% of the female respondents agreed with the statement that it is best to date and to marry only one man in the course of their life.
That’s the scientific proof that marriage is damn important in the Chinese culture. She wants you to ask as soon as possible.
47. I Want to Marry a Chinese Woman! Then Buy a House
How to marry a Chinese woman: Buy her a house or a new apartment.
It’s up to you, but that’s the only way to win the love of her granny. Ah, who cares about that dinosaur? You don’t need to buy a house or apartment for your future wife, right?
Some Chinese women still believe that it’s only appropriate to live with a man and to get married when the man has a house. Remember their stability fetish?
But there is hope.
According to Professor Hu Guangwei from the Sichuan Academy of Social science, naked marriages become more and more popular among young couples.
And no, naked marriages are not what you think...
48. How to Please a Chinese Woman: Ching, Chang, Chong
That’s all I understand when Lucy talks to her mom on the phone. Ching, chang, chong is also all that Paul understands when she speaks Chinese to him. Apparently, this moron studies Chinese for almost a year and he still doesn’t get it.
Nevertheless, she wants him to continue.
On the one hand, she does it because she wants to torture him. Yeah, I’m pretty sure about that. On the other hand, the Chinese language is such an important part of their culture that they want their partner to speak at list a few words.
Make an effort and you’ll get brownie points.
49. I Love Chinese Women! What About Their Nicknames for You?
Which nickname do you preferred?
- Crippled frog
- Cute fat piggy
- Stinky rat
The choice is not easy but I would choose the cute fat piggy, even though I’m skinny like a toothpick.
The point is:
Chinese girls love to give their boyfriends weird nicknames and even though they sound offensive, they are not. That’s their way of showing affection. They think weird nicknames are cute and you should program yourself to think the same.
Or maybe I’m wrong and she really hates Paul…
50. Chinese Women are Seeking Men Who Can Keep Face
Keeping face is important when you do business in China. It’s even more important when you’re in a relationship with a local girl.
The number one thing you must avoid is to lose face or make others lose face.
- Offend one of her relatives and they’ll lose face. You’re done.
- Cause drama in public and she’ll lose face. You’re done.
- Start a fight with her in front of anyone (even her cat) and you both lose face. You’re done.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Swallow your anger until you can release it in the gym…or throw her cat out of the window. Just don’t lose face.
51. Good Luck Talking to your Chinese Wife about REAL Medicine
Paul tried it a million times. He’s still not successful.
During our interview he told me that he won’t give up. While he said this, Lucy looked at him with a smile on her face that said “I will make you eat ginger for the rest of your life.” Good luck trying to convince your future Chinese girlfriend or wife that herbal tea is not the same as antibiotics.
But hey, at least she can cook a delicious herb soup for you when you are sick. Just don’t forget to remind her that one particular pill is really, really important.
Now enjoy meeting and dating beautiful Chinese girls
Summed Up Wisdom
“So, you want to know everything about Dating Chinese women, huh?”
That’s how my interview with Lucy started. I thought it would take me about an hour to understand the fact that Chinese women are looking for a stable relationship, why they are easy (not in the way you think), and why the so-called leftover women are even more desperate than the rich girls.
I was wrong. We ended up talking for more than three hours. It took me at least another hour to understand why they are so jealous, why they want to get married after a couple of weeks (sometimes days) and why losing face is deadly and a naked marriage the latest trend.
Read the article and you’ll discover even more secrets about meeting and dating Chinese girls.
I’ve been in China for 7 years myself, and while I do agree with some of your points, I appreciate you sharing your experience during your time in China, but here’s how my experiences differ from yours.
I am surprised at some of your experiences, particularly seeing as you seem to have mostly lived around Guangzhou and Shenzhen, which are very wealthy, modernized areas, which have a youthful, educated and outward looking population. I’ve been to these areas myself and have lots of Chinese friends there. In my experience you’re far more likely to meet an English speaking woman in Shenzhen than in Xi’an or Changchun. I agree that you do need to have a certain level of Chinese proficiency if you’re going to date girls who don’t speak English (ie most of them!) but as long as you can communicate in basic Chinese and you show you’re willing to make a real effort to learn it isn’t too much of a problem. I also think most Chinese girls who are dating westerners make a concerted effort to improve their English – when I met my wife 4 years ago her English was pretty good, but by the time we married two years ago she was 100% fluent. I think location also matters – the places you say you’ve lived in are more cosmopolitan and modern and therefore westerners are less exotic and special in the eyes of the local people.
I won’t say there have been no cultural obstacles between my wife’s family and I – there certainly have. But it’s not fair to just say that ‘Chinese parents don’t like foreign boyfriends’. My in-laws have been great. They’ve accepted me as part of the family and really done their best to make me feel welcome, something which has not been easy for them, as they’re farmers from a very traditional farming village in the Qinling mountains. They even paid for our wedding themselves, something which is completely contrary to Chinese culture. I also don’t own a car and don’t own my apartment – my company provides it for me. Plus, I don’t hand over my salary to my wife – she has her salary, I have mine and we pool our resources, just like western families do. Chinese parents might expect these things from a Chinese husband, but there is more leeway given to a foreign husband. Don’t forget that having a western son-in-law also gives ‘face’, and potentially something that will make their neighbors jealous – ‘mixed-blood’ grandchildren.
Sebastian Harris says
Thanks or sharing.
Sebastian Harris says
Thanks for sharing!
Sebastian Harris says
That’s certainly true, but many small city girls will also have never met or spoken to a westerner before. They’ll have heard stories that foreigners are all ‘overpaid, over-sexed and over here’. They don’t want to date a guy like this, so it may take them longer to open up. Once they get to know you, they realize you’re not like the stereotype, especially if you make an effort to learn Chinese and adapt to Chinese culture. In this situation, a girl from a small city or even from the countryside can become a wonderful, loving and devoted girlfriend or wife. I know, I’m married to a Chinese girl who grew up in a rural village and live with her in a ‘small’ city of 3 million people!
I think in my experience (I’m married to a Chinese lady from the countryside) western men who want to date and marry Chinese women have much better chances in smaller cities because most women in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou are used to seeing westerners. In smaller cities, western men (and women!) have a higher ‘exoticism’ value because they are something rare and special.
Saying that, I wouldn’t call Lucy’s hometown, Chengdu a small city by any stretch of the imagination! Even ‘small’ Chinese cities like Chengdu, Wuhan or Xi’an are much larger than most cities in the west. These cities also seem to have lots of foreigners in them.
Tier 3 cities are different and there’s a goid chance a western guy might be one of only half a dozen foreigners in a city of 1-2 million people. The downside is, of course, that people in these cities are generally not very knowledgeable about western culture and are less likely to speak English.
Ok. I’m going to comment after reading about this.
I’ve lived in the south of China for 5 years, firstly in Shenzhen, Guangdong, Nanning and Foshan. My experience with Chinese women is quite a bit different to that of this article. I have, let’s say dated, 17 women in my 5 years in China.
First of all, 95% (probably more) of women don’t speak English. So, you limit your dating pool significantly right from the off. You need to be good at Chinese to have any respectable chance at meeting and marrying a traditional Chinese woman. Even passable isn’t enough. You need to be mostly fluent, or can pass as fluent to her parents to have any sort of shot. Most men aren’t good enough at Chinese and don’t get Chinese girlfriends. Even after 5 years, my Chinese isn’t yet good enough.
Next in your obstacle course is Chinese culture. Chinese women are extremely traditional and they won’t budge. In fact, due to popular belief, most Chinese women DON’T in fact want a foreign boyfriend for cultural reasons. Foreigners are cool to look at, and they may think they want one, until they get down to the intricacies of the relationship. The women hold all the power in a relationship and the men get shafted to buggery and everyone knows it. If you want to get married to a Chinese woman, you need to…
1) at least have a down payment on a house.
2) Own a car. (impossible if you can’t speak Chinese. (See above))
3) Give (yes, give) your wife up to 95% of your monthly income because the wife is in charge of all the money in a traditional Chinese marriage. (I once met a man who earns 52,000 rmb a month and his wife gives him 2k for the month and pockets the rest whilst she’s a stay at home mum)
This is mostly set… So, you have to ask yourself if you’re up for that sort of arrangement. The only places these quite literal rules don’t really apply is funnily enough, like the article says about being too westernised, Beijing and Shanghai… Of the 17 girls I’ve dated in my time in China, 15 of them wouldn’t be with me because they wanted a partner who understands the typical roles of a traditional Chinese marriage. The other 2 were happy to be more liberal about it. However, they got shafted by the 3rd part of your obstacle course…
The parents…. Parents don’t like foreigners. It’s as simple as… You’re bad work, a ‘laowai’. If your girl is happy with having a foreign boyfriend, her parents almost certainly won’t be. China is modernising fast, but the parents and even grandparents are still from the age before smartphones and hold very true to their traditional beliefs. Even if you’re fluent in Chinese, the parents are doubtful to be on board. I think of all the expats I’ve ever met, only 1 has managed to get past the parents’ stage and successfully married a Chinese girl. In short, you’d best be feeling lucky…
Now, maybe this doesn’t really apply if you want to take your girl out of China. Lucy, from the interview after all, had been taken out to Germany and perhaps cultural norms don’t really apply in that sort of situation. But if you’re looking to settle within China itself, Beijing and Shanghai are really your only do-able areas if I’m being honest.
Sebastian Harris says
awesome comment. Thanks a lot for sharing!
Sebastian Harris says
Wow…thanks a lot for sharing. This comment is almost as long as my article. Great job 🙂
I’m a 35 year-old British expat who has been living in China for the last 7 years. 2 years ago I married a wonderful local lady who is also my best friend. Let me tell you guys my experiences with dating and in China. I’ll try to be as honest and open as possible.
Firstly, let me say straight off the bat that I don’t have a specific preference for East Asian women. I have had relationships with white, black and Indian women in the past, and as a single guy I was open to dating women of any race, but given that I live in China it should not come as a surprise that almost all of the people I meet in my daily life are Chinese and that I ended up marrying a Chinese lady. I have to make this point because some people (usually western women) seem to think that a white guy in a relationship with an East Asian women has some kind of fetish.
Other western guys here often ask me ‘Hey, you’re married to a Chinese girl. How can I meet a local girl too?’ These are some of the things which I have told them.
I must admit that, compared to some other countries, it is difficult to find local women who speak English. It helps immensely if you can at least speak passable Chinese. My wife told me that the only issue her parents were worried about when she told them she had a western boyfriend was whether or not I could speak Chinese. When she told them I could, they were more than happy to meet me and let me date their daughter. Many Chinese girls who don’t speak English do dream about dating a western guy, but if they meet one who can’t speak their language they know there is no realistic way they can communicate. If you can speak Chinese, or are at least willing to make a serious effort to learn, you will find it very, very easy to find beautiful, intelligent Chinese women who want to date you.
If, however, you can’t speak Chinese (like most western men who come to China) it is still possible to meet Chinese women, you just have to try to find girls who speak English. There are several places you can meet English-speaking Chinese women:
1. English corners, which often take place at coffee houses or on university campuses, are an opportunity for Chinese English-speakers to get together and practice their English with each other and foreign guests. It’s a great way to meet English-speaking Chinese women.
2. Cultural events are not only fun, but also a great place to meet English-speaking Chinese women. If Chinese women notice foreigners wondering what is going on at a traditional festival, for example, they will often offer to explain, which will give an opportunity to strike up a conversation.
3. Western-style coffee houses such as Starbucks and Costa Coffee are often frequented by fashionable young women who have more of a westernized worldview. These women have often travelled abroad, speak English and are very open to dating western guys.
4. You could also sign up to a Chinese class. There is a good chance they will hold Chinese corners where you can meet beautiful Chinese women who both speak English and want to help you practice Chinese!
I must warn against doing what we would do in the UK and try to meet girls in bars. China doesn’t really have much of a bar culture and most Chinese women wouldn’t want to be seen in a bar. It’s true that you can find women in bars and nightclubs, but they tend not to be the kind of girls you’d want to date.
So, if you’ve met a beautiful, kind and caring Chinese women. What can you do to win her heart and make sure you don’t mess things up?
Firstly, don’t be overly critical of China or Chinese culture. Remember that when foreigners are in your home country, you like them to be respectful. Chinese people expect the same. Make a conscious effort to try to adapt to the local culture while you’re there. If you show an interest in Chinese culture (especially the food) she will love you for it.
There is not really such a thing as casual dating in China. If a girl agrees to date you, you have to understand that she has an eye towards the future. She wants to be your girlfriend but she hopes that she will soon be your wife. A lot of Chinese women have had their hearts broken by western men who they had dated and who later decided to return to their home countries, leaving their girlfriends. Don’t lead someone on if you just want sex or a short-term fling. She’s thinking wedding bells. That’s not to say you can’t find women who would have a one-night-stand and who are just curious about having sex with a western guy, but it is far more difficult to do so than in the west.
Don’t expect your Chinese girlfriend to be a submissive Asian flower. While it is true that Chinese women like a man who can make decisions, and to be dominant in bed, they can be very strong-willed and will have no problem, once they feel comfortable with you, shouting at you, even in public. One common sight here is a woman giving her boyfriend or husband an ear-bashing in the street while he just stands there, silently hanging his head in shame. If you cook for your Chinese girlfriend and help with the housework, she’ll melt, as most Chinese men would never dream of doing these things.
Your Chinese girlfriend will also appreciate you showing your love in a physical way. Holding hands in the street is one of the most romantic things you can do, again because Chinese men usually won’t do this. If you give her a kiss in front of her friends you will hear their exclamations of jealousy.
If you’re not planning on marrying your Chinese girlfriend DO NOT meet her parents. Once you meet her parents it is implicit that you want to marry their daughter and there is no going back. If her family invites you to spend Chinese New Year with them this is a very big deal. It means they already see you as their future son-in-law. Only do it if you are seriously planning to become so.
As Lucy said in the above article, many Chinese women would give their right arm to have half-white babies. This might be a controversial thing to say, but in my experience it is true. At my wedding, my wife’s cousin came up to us and congratulated us, before telling my wife she was so lucky and how jealous she was that my wife was going to have ‘mixed-blood’ babies. She was practically salivating when she said it, despite the fact that her husband was standing next to her. I have also had many of my female Chinese friends tell me they’d love to marry a western guy, and one of the first reasons they always give is that they’d love to have half-white children in the future. A sure-fire way to get your Chinese girlfriend to drag you off to bed is to tell her that you would make ‘cute Eurasian babies’ together. Just be careful, because if you use this tactic you might just end up with them!
One final thing I want to add is also an uncomfortable truth. Again, I am simply telling what I have seen firsthand and heard from Chinese women themselves. It’s far, far easier to find a Chinese girlfriend, whether you can speak Chinese or not, if you’re white than if you are black or South Asian. In Chinese culture, dark skin is seen as ugly. This is not my personal opinion, it’s just what many Chinese people believe. It is for this reason that Chinese women use so many skin-whitening products. My wife’s friends sometimes ask her if I can introduce them to western friends of mine, but without exception they always add ‘…but not a black guy.’ I want to stress that being black is not an insurmountable obstacle to dating a Chinese woman, I’m sure there are girls in China who are willing to date black guys, but they are very difficult to find. Three black friends of mine, two American and one from Ghana, have all complained to me how much difficulty they have in finding a Chinese girlfriend. All I can tell them is, keep trying!
If anyone wants to ask me any questions in regards to my experiences in China, please feel free to do so!
Sebastian Harris says
thanks for sharing your experience!
I think China women tend to be true I dated one was suppose to get married it didn’t happen but she understood so she never raised her voice and was supportive so I wouldn’t say all Asian women r crazy can’t put all in a group I like Asian women because they very sweet and caring beautiful all of Chinese ladies r
Looking forward to it bro.
Hello MIUMIU, my name is Frank from the United State, I would like us to be friends to know more about each other, I hope that’s fine by you? This is my weChat ID (gorenc1516) incase you would like us to make some conversations to know more about each other.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks for sharing your experiences!
John Marshall says
I have dated many different nationalities. A Ukraine lady I dated in the Ukraine. Wanted sex on the first date. Very beautiful lady but frightening. I refused.
Mainland Chinese ladies I have dated. If you are a British white man. The ladies fall in love quickly. I am at the moment feeling bad for hurting many Chinese ladies. Many ladies are very rich & frighten Chinese men. Many have little sexual experience the Chinese ladies. Some are materialistic but most work hard for the money they earn. First few drink wine. But when they have had beer their faces turn red. Chinese hot tea or hot water. is what they carry in their flask. The make-up they buy is extensive. But they are very beautiful ladies. My Chinese girlfriends have visited me in England. Be aware they want marriage. British men are more forward than Chinese men. Which they like. No understanding of life outside of China. Better to meet outside of China due to Visa cost & due to the documents needed. They want a husband very much & preferable a white western man.
Now I get onto Filipina ladies. First they do not use make-up much. They need training on how to apply it. Beautiful without it. Not all are slim & beautiful but pick one who cares about the way her body looks. Exercise with your Filipina lady daily. So many ladies looking for love in the Philippines. Go on the Cupid dating site. Put up a good profile pictures & details. You will be swamped with ladies contacting you. Just ignore any lady who asks for money or ladies who are materialistic. Ladies in Philippines do not hide their feelings. Chinese ladies are the same. Make sure you have a little gift for your girlfriend when meeting as she will have a gift for you. Red roses a good idea. Chinese ladies gifts she is likely to give you are Chinese tea & other Chinese items. Try not to hurt Asian ladies it gives you bad Karma. When a lady is in love with you it is hard to walk away. I expect you have many women fall in love with you Sabastian. How do you feel? Me not good when I remember my girlfriends. So many lonely women in the world. China & the Philippines have so many ladies wanting a man to love long term. Chinese men do not want them when they are older. A lady with a degree in China frightens a Chinese man. Even worse if they are rich. I am 62 years of age much younger women do not care about a mans age. Get out there & meet the lady of your dreams what ever age you are.
Harry McNicholas says
You just described every woman on the planet.
Harry McNicholas says
Hm I dated a Chinese girl in college. I knew nothing about them. She was from the mainland. She told me her father owned some restaurants in Hong Kong. Her brother told me they were bars. My friends old me Chinese women could be subtle. Three weeks dating and it was Harry when are you going to buy me something. What the hell happened to subtle? I do not know if Suzy represented the average Chinese woman but she did give me an education about dating a Chinese woman.
Sebastian Harris says
there are only two ways to find out: Skype with her and meet her in person.
Hi Sebastian, I agree that everyone has a different personality. It may depend on their upbringing or environment. Recently, I started talking to a Chinese lady here in the U.S. via online dating and much of things you include in your article are relevant to our conversations. WeChat was the first thing she requested. She informed me that she is 49, has been married in U.S. 4 years to man in CO. who told her that he wants her to find right man because in his heart he likes men. She believes he married her because he doesn’t want his family to know. She is from NE China and said she worked in construction there before coming to U.S. I am planning to meet her at the end of this month and I’m not sure what to expect. She had posted pictures of her younger cousin and a couple of herself which told me about, and her location changing frequently on her profile. She says she is legal resident on U.S. but sometimes I think she is looking for anyone and she doesn’t care who that will give stability and normalcy to her life. I’m a skeptical believer at age 64 but still in great shape. So does it sound like a scam or real Chinese lady?
Sebastian Harris says
True, not all girls are the same.
Funny to see you guys talking about Chinese girls like this. i am a Chinese girl but I don’t think this article is taking about me. What I would like to say is just that every Chinese girl is different. Those Chinese girls who have received higher eduction can normally be no difference with westerners. So the easiest way to get a girlfriend is to hold a true heart instead of “she has that Asia face that I like”.
Sebastian Harris says
My advice: Don’t send her money for a flight ticket. There’s a high chance that she will never come. Try to visit her first. And of course, chat with her on Skype and actually see her multiple times before you even think about visiting her.
steve penn says
Sebastian, thanks so much for your article. learned much more than from all other articles I have read. can you give me any advice?
I have been talking with a very beautiful young (24) Chinese girl for a while. she says that she wants to be with me and marry me. we have talked about her coming here (USA) at the end of February. this thing sounds pretty serious. I have some concerns. I am not a rich man. I am much older than she is. I have had a number of surgeries on my back that limits what I can do i.e. walking, standing up straight. she knows everything about me but she says that doesn’t matter to her as long as I love her. I am convinced the she is being totally honest with me. am I just playing with myself or what? i would appreciate any comments. thanks.
Sebastian Harris says
Chaim Zev says
I mean 31 years old funny
Chaim Zev says
Well what an eye opener, I am 52 years old divorced, An Architect with a masters degree. So What ? well the Architect part Ling wanted to know. I go to a laundry every Saturday for the last 7 months after moving to Philadelphia from NYC. I am Jewish but American, family in Israel. I met Ling she works 12 hours a day in this laundry she personally does my laundry and folds all my clothes. She has a beautiful smile and seems very happy. she is around 3 years old and has been in America 7 years. I always look forward to seeing her. Last week I asked her to go to Lunch with me she gave me her cell phone number and asked me to text her. I did and she responded thanking me for the invitation and that she would contact me. I haven’t heard from her and I am curious, was she just being polite, that sounds like a western approach. anyway great article
Sebastian Harris says
the girls from smaller cities (less than 10 million :-P) are more traditional. Some of them have never been on a date with a foreigner. In addition to that, the social judgement is higher.
Sebastian Harris says
glad to hear that you agree with 90% of my article and that you could use my advice 😉
I’m currently dating a 37 year old from Hong Kong who came to the states to teach Chinese and English. She is well traveled so she is far from a mail order bride. But I have to say, 90% of the article is my experience.
She is giving, caring, tough as nails with an exterior of flowers, almost methodical in learning how to please me in the bed and the kitchen.
I completely screwed up the humor and sarcasm thing so she has had me at arms length as far as seriousness, but once I backed off on that she is feeling closer becuase I’m not saying so may things that confuse her and make her feel distant.
Thank you for this article. Things got bad for a week there but then I had to seek some advice. This really helped me slow down, listen more, and give her room to also appreciate the confusing parts of me.
Very entertaining article to read, thanks for sharing! I got a laugh out of the comment about small towns being less than 10 million, I heard the same thing from the Chinese people I work with in the good old USA.
Do you think it’s a cultural thing for the smaller city girls to want take things slowly? I met a girl at work about a month ago who I hit it off with, we’ve been texting frequently and she visits my desk everyday giggling. But she has been pretty coy a couple times when I asked if she wanted to get dinner on the weekend. We are (finally) getting lunch during the work week, is this a case where you don’t push too hard for a date?
Sebastian Harris says
I already published an article about Korean women. You can find it in my “date Asian women” category.
Am particularly interested in Korean girls. Would you be able to publish an article regarding Korean girls next time? Thanks, we enjoyed also learning about Chinese girls too. Keep up with you good works! Cheers.
Sebastian Harris says
Chinese girls are indeed materialistic, at least most of them. I’ll publish an article about Taiwanese girls within the next couple of days. They are different.
Very fun and interesting article 🙂 too bad the deal breaker for me is how materialistic they are…my goal being Financial freedom