Every man wants something different in his life and it is completely normal that what you want changes over the time.
Maybe finding a girlfriend is exactly what you want and what you need right now.
A couple of years ago my only goal was to sleep with as many women as possible. I just escaped from a toxic relationship, I had only slept with one woman in my entire life and I was hungry to experience everything that I missed out on during the last couple of years. I wanted to approach more women, get more numbers and sleep with more girls.
In retrospect I have to say that this was an amazing time.
I learned, I failed, and I put myself on an emotional rollercoaster that I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams.
However, over the time my goals changed. I stopped approaching everything that could walk. I began to focus on meaningful emotional and sexual connections instead of sleeping with every girl who was willing to spread her legs for me.
I started to only approach women who I am extremely attracted to and I met my current girlfriend with whom I live in an amazing relationship. Today I live in an incredible open relationship while I still have sexual adventures with women who I feel connected with.
I have the best of both worlds and if you want to do the same that’s absolutely okay.
But what if your only goal is to find a girlfriend who you can live in a monogamous relationship with?
Embrace Your Preferences
At the moment I am not a big fan of monogamous relationships but that doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to have this goal. It also doesn’t mean that my preferences won’t change over time. Just do whatever you want, no matter what relationship preferences you have.
If your goal is to find a girlfriend, you should do everything that is in your power to achieve this goal.
No matter if you want a girlfriend for an open, a monogamous or any other weird form of relationship that I can’t even think of right now…
…go for what you want!
You don’t have to live in an open relationship, just because I chose this path. You don’t have to seduce one model after another, just because some pick up artist tells you that this is what will make you happy.
Think about what makes YOU happy and what’s right for YOU. If having a girlfriend is the right thing for you, you have my full respect. Finding a girlfriend is a noble goal and in case you have never been in a relationship, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll learn.
8 Reasons Why Finding a Girlfriend is a Noble Goal
Are you ready to learn some important lessons for your future?
Being in a relationship has more benefits than the pleasure to share your life with another person and to spend romantic evenings in an overpriced restaurant.
Before I am going to reveal all the benefits of being in a relationship there is one more thing I have to warn you about:
Just because I am going to share the benefits of finding a girlfriend with you doesn’t mean that you should end up in a relationship with the next girl you meet. It took me over two years, countless women and quite a few broken hearts until I found the right girl.
There are already too many guys who end up in relationships with girls who are obese, unattractive, emotionally unstable, depressive, or in some other way psychologically damaged.
You don’t have to join this funeral feast.
Instead of settling for the first best chick, you should work on your seduction skills, become an excellent seducer and only enter a relationship if she is the girl of your dreams and not the girl of your nightmares.
A relationship WITH THE RIGHT GIRL can be more valuable than a check for one million dollars. It not only allows you to learn and to grow on an emotional level, it also allows you to become a better seducer, a better lover and a better person.
1. You Learn to Connect With Women on a Deep Level
Life is not about banging a lot of hoes who you don’t really care for. In case that’s your goal you are better off investing $50 for a prostitute. Don’t get me wrong. It is absolutely okay to have the goal to sleep with a lot of women and to have more sexual experiences in a month than other guys have their whole life.
I mean, I just told you that I spent nearly two years approaching, seducing as many girls as possible. However, I was always interested in connecting with those women on some kind of level, even if the connection was not that intensive.
In case you have ever had sex with a girl who was a really bad person and who you didn’t like at all, you already know why having a connection is important.
I have done that in the past and I am not particularly proud of it.
Seducing and having sex with women with whom you feel at least a bit connected to is way more satisfying than banging some girls you don’t really care about. It fills you with pride instead of regret.
Finding a girlfriend can teach you a lot about connecting with women. Even if you don’t stay together with her forever, you’ll have it a lot easier to seduce the girls you meet after her.
How can being in a relationship increase your ability to connect with women?
It is your job during the dating process to connect with a girl on an emotional and sexual level. If you were able to cast such a spell over a girl that she wanted to be your girlfriend, you obviously did something right.
But connecting with women doesn’t stop right after you enter a relationship. Men who live in happy relationships know that they have to seduce their girlfriend every day. Every interaction and every experience with your girlfriend gives you the chance to connect more with her.
2. You Experience What it Means to Love and to Be Loved
In case you are one of those alpha dudes who pretend to not have any feelings I want to warn you:
Now it’s getting emotional!
You can pretend as much as you want that you don’t need love in your life and that love is only, but deep down you know that you want to be loved.
This is an inherent desire that we can’t just switch off whenever we want. In the same way we can’t simply decide to not fall in love with a girl, just because you promised yourself to not end up in a relationship.
Believe me, I tried it.
Finding a girlfriend who you love and who loves you gives you the chance to grow as a person and to experience what it means to love and how it feels to be loved. So many guys who don’t have the ability to approach and seduce all the women they want search for this feeling their whole life without ever finding it.
Make sure that you allow love to come into your life. Allow this feeling to make you stronger, more conscious and more experienced.
Enjoy the time you have. It might not last forever.
3. You Develop Profound Sexual Skills
“Let’s get back to bed boy…”
A good girlfriend says something like that every day, at least when her boyfriend is good in bed. What if you are not good in bed and you are afraid that she will leave you, because you can’t even distinguish her foot from her nose?
Don’t worry. You can either read this article, or you can slowly but steadily learn everything you need to learn about pleasing women, by practicing with your girlfriend. Even though I am glad that I have ended the relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I am still thankful that she taught me a few useful skills in bed.
I mean, nobody is born as a master and if you have the chance to end up in a relationship with a girl who has more experience between the sheets than you, you would be dumb if you wouldn’t take this chance.
I know that innocent and inexperienced girls are very tempting but when it comes to the development of your sexual skills, you can learn a lot more from a girl who had at least one or two dicks inside her.
Get over that whole “sexually experienced girls are sluts” bullshit.
Appreciate the fact that you have a teacher who has the power to transform you into a sex god.
4. Your Communication Skills Improve
Before you end up in a relationship I regard it as my duty to warn you about something:
You will talk and you will talk a lot!
Even though I am not the most enthusiastic talker on the planet (small talk makes me incredibly angry) and even if my girlfriend is a cute version of Buddha and meditates more than she talks, some conversations are inevitable.
You talk about your day, about the different opinions you have, about your feelings and about your experiences together. If you hate talking you should think twice before you decide that being in a relationship is your path to happiness.
The good news is that even if you hate talking and your communication skills are worse than Yoda’s, finding a girlfriend can save you in the long run. In the long run, you have to develop some communication skills to seduce women. If you ignore this advice, approaching and connecting with women will feel like hard work.
Communicating with your girlfriend seven days a week will automatically improve your communication skills. It is your decision if you then use those skills to keep your girlfriend or to attract one, two or even three new girls into your life.
5. You Can Test Different Relationship Forms
In case you are like me and you are interested in experimenting with different relationship forms, finding a girlfriend can provide you with the chance to experience various relationship forms first-hand.
Of course not all girls are open for a non-exclusive relationship. In the same way as there are men who don’t want it, there are girls who don’t want it. That’s absolutely fine. However, if you want to experience a relationship that differs from the monogamous norm you should be patient and persistent enough to find a girl who wants that too.
The sad truth is that most guys who don’t want a monogamous relationship don’t even have the balls to say what they really want. The fear of losing and offending her is too big. As a result, they end up in relationships that they don’t even want to be in, while the girls who also want to experiment with different relationship forms can’t find a guy.
You’d be surprised at how many girls are willing to live in relationships that have not much in common with monogamy.
All you have to do is to be honest, even if the girl you are dating looks as if she wouldn’t be open for such things. Maybe she is.
6. You Will See If You Have What it Takes to Keep a Girl
Do you have what it takes?
Due to the fact that you are one of my readers I am pretty sure that you have what it takes to approach women, to seduce women and to satisfy them in the bedroom. In case you still have some room for improvement in one of those areas, my articles will help you.
The tricky question is:
Do you also have what it takes to keep a girl?
I mean, I can write about approaching, seducing, dating and fucking all day long but unless you put the advice I give you into practice you won’t be able to find a girlfriend.
If I were Harry Potter, I would simply use a magic spell and boom…a hot chick who wants to be your girlfriend knocks on your door.
Unfortunately, I am not a magician. I am just a regular guy who wants to help you to become amazing with women and to live the life of your dreams. Approaching and seducing a potential girlfriend is still your job. The only way you know if you have what it takes to keep a woman is by finding a girlfriend who you can keep…or lose.
Of course reading articles like this one help you to get her, but eventually it is on you if you do the necessary things to keep her.
Some guys learn it the hard way by going through a rough breakup. Other guys learn it the pleasant way by using their relationship as an opportunity to learn, to grow and to acquire the necessary skills to keep a woman. The choice is yours.
7. You Learn to React on Different Emotions
How do you respond when a woman who you are on a date with reacts in an upset and angry way? A couple of years ago I would have started to sweat and to agree on everything she says to make sure that she is not offended.
How do you react when the girl you are dating is jealous and attacks you with allegations that are simply not true?
A couple of years ago I would have become defensive and apologetic for giving her a reason to be jealous. There is a at least a small chance that you would do the same.
A guy who is in a relationship with a self-confident and life-affirming woman would never react like that. How do I know that? No woman with a high self-confidence would be together with a guy who reacts like in the two examples I just gave you.
Women want to be together with guys who react calm and confident whenever they have their emotional five minutes.
How do you become that guy? You can meditate, you can work on your confidence AND you can get a girlfriend. A relationship offers you a step by step learning by doing program when it comes to dealing with different emotional states. If I have learned one thing during my nearly four year relationship with my ex-girlfriend, then it is to handle different emotional moods. I was forced to practice every freaking day.
8. You Find Out If a Relationship is the Right Thing for You
And so the circle is complete…
Do you remember how I said at the beginning of this article how important it is to follow your preferences and that you should design your relationships exactly the way you want?
Great, because now that you know why finding a girlfriend is such a noble goal you are hopefully motivated to go out and to approach a few girls who have the potential to become your next girlfriend.
Go for it!
What if you can’t imagine that having a girlfriend is the right thing for you, even though all the points I mentioned made you curious?
Give it a shot anyway. You only know if something is right for you if you try it.
One year ago I didn’t imagine that I would EVER want to be in a relationship again. Today I don’t want to miss one second of it.
Go out there, approach a few attractive ladies and find a girlfriend. Once you have her you will know if this is the right thing for you. If it feels right you should enjoy every second of it and if it’s not the right thing for you, there are millions of other beautiful women out there.
Don’t you also want to know how to get a hot and loyal girlfriend?
Use these 11 psychological loopholes and she’ll beg you to be yours…
Summed Up Wisdom
I believe that no matter what relationship type you are into, you shouldn’t settle down unless you found a girl who wants to live in a relationship with you that you want to 100%. Oh, and don’t make the mistake to get a girlfriend who is emotionally unstable, physically unattractive or a complete psycho, just because I said relationships are awesome. They are awesome, but just with the right girl.
What exactly is so awesome about relationships? Finding a girlfriend provides you with a lot of positive emotions and unforgettable experiences, but it also gives you the chance to learn and to grow.
You learn how to connect with women, you experience what it means to be loved and you learn at least one or two tricks in the bedroom. Besides learning to communicate with women a relationship also gives you the chance to experience firsthand if you have what it takes to keep a girl in your life. You also become a specialist in dealing with the emotional mood swings of women and eventually you are able to find an answer to the question:
“Is a relationship the right thing for me?”
Let me know in the comments below if it is the right thing for you or not 😉
Sean Ross says
ForestGump38. You go boy!
Sebastian Harris says
I know that you see some contradictions. Like I said, every opinion is welcomed.
I mainly listen the analysis of Stefan Molyneux on this issue, i was trying to show that there is some contradictions in your articles in my opinion.
Sebastian Harris says
Wow, thanks a lot for your detailed comment.
I am not offended at all. Every opinion is welcomed and it seems that you really thought a lot about this. “love isn’t for pussies”. I couldn’t have said it better!
Our biological purpouse on this planet isn’t to fuck as many quality women as possible. We are mamipheres, not reptilian. There are two maine reproductive strategy. The first one caracterize reptilians for example, it’s to have as many children as possible, and hopping that some will survive (“spray and pray”). Some speciess can have thousands of childrens with a survival rate of 1 or 2%, which is enough to keep going for the species.
The strategy that caracterize mamipheres is far more evolved. It’s called “build a familly” :-)…you create attachement with an individual of the opposite sex, you have a small amount of children, but you protect and take car of them.
This difference takes it routs in the fact that for mamipheres, the femal has a very long period of gestation, which keeps her from being abble to get ressources on her own, so she needs a provider during that periode.
Feminism is absolute bulshit because the traditional family structure and mariage aren’t needed for men (if you put aside the fact that some of use have an emotional need to achieve that, which is a proof of an higly matured psychology), it’s needed for women.
They don’t want women to achieve their natural biological purpose, they want them to become taxe slaves, like men.
So you can’t pretend to like women with high family values and to hate feminism, and in the same time taking part of the collapse of the traditionnal family structure by an animal.
You can’t have a family and in the same time fucking other women.
Of cours, given the fact that you are good looking and have an unique personnality, your woman will have so much love for you that she will let you do it, because she doesn’t want to lose you, but I don’t believe one second that inside of her it doesn’t hurt.
A woman is biologicly programmed to get a man abble to protect her and provide for the family, you can’t do it for 200 women.
I don’t want to run other people’s ife, but it’s just a fact that monogamy is superior to so called “open relationships” on an evolutionary point of view.
All statistics show that people have a better life when they come from a traditional family (married couple). Poverty, addiction and criminality in fact are close from 0.
That’s why most of the time I can’t stand the mentality of PUAs, exept David DeAngelo for example, but I have to read their advice if I want to achieve my dream of having a family with a great woman despite of my physical unatractivness.
It seems that for the PUA the most beautifull thing in the world is woman’s boobs full of sperm, when it’s really looking in a woman eyes that you know for years.
Love isn’t for pussies, the pussies are those who refuse to assume their natural responsibility as a man.
That’s my opinion, i hop you aren’t offended and that my english isn’t to poor.