Do you want to know how to be confident around women?
But if you want to walk up to a woman, introduce yourself to her and amaze her with your confident attitude, instead of standing in front of her with sweaty palms and a posture that shows that you are nothing but a coward who desperately hopes to get her phone number, you should continue reading.
In case you just got aggressive while you read the last sentence, chances are high that you are really a coward who is too afraid to talk to women or to even look at women.
But don’t worry, being a coward sucks, but it is nothing that you can’t change.
Not so many years ago I was a bigger coward than you could ever be.
Whenever I think back to my days as a coward, I remember one particular experience that I will never forget. The reason why I will never forget this experience is because it was extremely humiliating for me. At the same time it was one of those key moments in my life that made me change the path I was on.
It must have happened five years ago. I was in a club with a few friends when one of my friends suddenly told me to approach a girl who was standing alone in the corner. There was really nothing special about her, but the thought of walking up to her and actually speaking with her made me sick to my stomach.
Even though my friend who gave me this seemingly impossible task had never approached a girl himself, I was determined to show him that I could do it. The only problem was that my fears and my lack of confidence ate my determination alive.
When I finally walked up to her my whole body started to shiver. I was sweatting worse than a sumo wrestler in a sauna. I wasn’t able to say one word. She just looked at me with pity while my so-called friends were laughing at me.
Even though I wanted to die in this moment, I am glad that I had this experience.
It doesn’t matter if you had similar experiences or if you have never talked to a woman. I promise that you will never feel this way again if you put the advice that I am going to share with you in this article into practice.
Today it is time to leave all the terrible experiences and fears behind you and to learn how to be confident around women.
How to Be Confident Around Women: The Path of the Faker
When you want to become confident with women you have a choice to make. You can either choose to do nothing at all and to stay a coward for the rest of your life, or you can decide to do something about your situation.
Unfortunately, a lot of men already fail in the first round of the process and decide to do nothing at all. As a result, they only end up in bed with the same person every night and this person goes by the name “right hand”.
In case you have never done anything about your lack of self-esteem, you have to wake up. In case you have always talked yourself into believing that one day you will meet the girl of your dreams, I see myself forced to wake you up with a hammer.
Deep down you know that this day will never come unless you create it.
Even though I have the goal to motivate you to take action and to learn how to be confident around women, there is one category of guys that is even worse than the ones who don’t do anything at all.
Those guys take action but, they direct this action in the completely wrong direction. There are some guys who call pick-up forums their natural environment and who believe in the good old fake it till you make it philosophy.
Unfortunately, they always remain fakers, without ever making it.
Ignore the Fact that You Are Not Confident
If you choose to walk on the path of the notorious faker, the first action step that you have to take is to ignore that you are not confident. Don’t even think about the fact that you could have a confidence issue. All the other guys are cowards. You are the master of the universe.
You are the most confident guy who never talked to a woman. You are the alpha who has never talked to a woman without shitting himself. You are the most confident leader that this world has ever seen without the ability to lead a woman in your bedroom.
I have met so many self-proclaimed master PUAs who invested all their energy talking themselves into believing that they have what it takes to seduce every model within seconds. When I then pointed towards a hot girl and asked them to approach her, they came up with every excuse in the book.
Repression is not a solution and pretending to be confident won’t make you confident.
If you don’t even believe what you tell yourself, women believe it even less.
More Mental Diarrhea
As the self-proclaimed Master PUA that the faker is, he has to do everything to convince himself that he has no issues with women and that he is the last man on earth who has to learn how to be confident around women.
After he took a huge dump the second thing he does in the morning is to look at himself in the mirror and to recite all the affirmations that he wrote down the last evening.
“I get every girl I want”
“Every woman who looks at me falls in love with me”
“I am the most attractive man on the planet”
“Every woman wants to have sex with me”
Do you know why I know that the faker does that?
It is quite embarrassing to admit it but I was an active member of the faker community.
The affirmations that I just shared with you are the same ones that I used to scream at my reflection in the mirror.
I am not proud of myself for what I did, but back then I didn’t know that I only made a fool out of myself while I continued to suck with women. Today I don’t understand how I could really think that this crap would teach me how to be confident around women.
All I want is to prevent you from being the same naive dumbo that I was a few years ago. Before we have a look at the path that you should choose instead of losing all your self-respect by lying to yourself, I want to warn you from making one very popular mistake.
Become Theoretically Confident
One common mistake that not only the fakers but also a lot of other guys who want to change make, is that they study being confident with women on a theoretical level ad nauseam, without ever jumping into practice.
I did this for years and it didn’t get me anywhere.
Of course it is important to understand the principles of being confident around women in theory before you can apply those principles on a practical level. If that wouldn’t be important, I wouldn’t be writing this article right now. However, bear in mind that studying theory is only one part of the puzzle. You have to leave the comfort of your apartment and take action in order to become the self-confident guy you always wanted to be.
I invested months with studying how to be confident around women on a theoretical level, until I found out that my stomach still wanted to release everything that’s in it, whenever I forced myself to talk to girls. That was the point when I realized that I have to start doing something about my situation.
How to Be Confident Around Women: The Path of the Doer
Instead of wasting your time being a faker, you can actually become self-confident in the presence of beautiful women by choosing the path of the doer.
The doer is a guy who is determined to leave all the fake it till you make it crap behind him and to do things that actually work.
What do you really have to do in order to learn how to be confident around women?
You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to reach a level at which you will feel like a Buddhist monk in the presence of women. In this state it doesn’t matter if you just told a girl that she looks incredibly beautiful or if you are lying in bed with two naked women who are about to fuck you to kingdom come. You are confident in every situation.
Accept Your Current Situation
What’s the first thing that you need to do in order to reach a state of pure relaxation around women?
You have to accept the current situation you are in, instead of ignoring it and pretending that you don’t have the problems you obviously have.
The last thing I want is to talk you into believing that you have confidence issues when you don’t have any. However, if you can’t approach the women you are attracted to without shivering, stammering and sweating, you have an issue. If the thought of approaching a hot woman makes you feel uncomfortable instead of excited, you have to do something about it.
Accepting your situation and admitting that you are not the master PUA that you pretend to be is the first step towards learning how to be confident with women and the first step towards becoming a great seducer.
Work on Your Inner Game
I believe that self-confidence consists of two parts. On the one hand, there is the core self-confidence that is based on how you perceive and value yourself. On the other hand, there is the situational self-confidence that is developed by putting yourself in situations that challenge you.
I am going to write a separate article about this topic but for now it’s important to me that you understand that those two sides of the same coin exist. Before you can develop your situational self-confidence you need a foundation of core self-confidence that allows you to actually go out and develop your situational self-confidence.
How do you get this level of core self-confidence?
It’s time for inner game baby!
No, I don’t say it’s time to scream at your reflection in the mirror.
It is time to do some inner game work that gives you an epiphany that is so powerful that your balls start to vibrate.
Do you want some examples?
- Calm down your body and your mind through meditation.
- Analyze all the negative beliefs that you have about yourself,
- Write down your negative beliefs and replace them with positive beliefs.
- Lock yourself in your room and don’t come out until you found at least one aspect that you love about yourself.
Think and meditate about your self-perception and the value you assign to yourself, until you realize that you deserve to learn how to be confident around women and that you deserve to attract the girls of your dreams.
Do this and you will soon be ready for the next step…
Expand Your Comfort Zone
And what is the next step?
The next step is to put yourself in situations that force you to develop self-confidence. The development of your confidence in the presence of women is comparable to the growth of your muscles in the gym. By stimulating your muscles with challenging weights you force them to grow.
Learning how to be confident around women through the deliberate expansion of your comfort zone follows the same pattern. You stimulate your comfort zone with emotionally challenging exercises and as a result of this stimulation your comfort zone gets forced to grow.
What are those challenging exercises that you can use to expand your comfort zone?
You can basically do everything that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.
You can choose the fast way by putting yourself in situations that scare the shit out of you. The only reason why I ever went to a swingers club was because the thought of walking around naked in front of other people and having sex in front of other people, scared the shit out of me. The first couple of minutes I was dying inside. At the end of the evening I felt more comfortable than ever before.
However, you can also choose the slow way. It is more time intensive, but also effective.
If you are scared to talk to strangers, start to ask random people for the time or the direction. Once this is easy for you, you can start to ask hot girls for the time or the direction. When you are also confident doing that, you can start to ask hot girls for their number.
By doing this you will not only become confident with women, you will also end up in one or two beds.
Surround Yourself with Women
Maybe you are at a stage where you don’t even want to end up in the bed of a beautiful girl, because you are so insecure around women that you are scared to mess everything up.
In this case you should start to overcome your fear of women by surrounding yourself with them.
Again, you can do this either with the sledgehammer method like I did it by going to swingers clubs and to sex parties, or you can choose the slow way and start to surround yourself with women who are still fully clothed and don’t expect youto bang them.
You could start to speak with women in your social circle, even if it is only a friend of your sister or your best friend’s girlfriend. Another good way of surrounding yourself with women is by joining courses that are predominantly visited by women.
I already told you in my article about seducing women in college that yoga classes and book clubs are always good if you want to surround yourself with girls. The more you surround yourself with women and the more you talk to them, the more comfortable and confident you will become in their presence.
Get Reference Experiences
Surrounding yourself with women by joining a yoga class is great to lose your fears and to get in contact with many fully clothed women, but at some point you have to reach the next level. There comes the time when you have to work on getting those fully clothed women naked.
Every single one of the previous steps was necessary to boost your confidence level up to a point where you can talk to women without shitting yourself and where you can go on a date without the fear of suffering a stroke.
However, in order to reach the level of complete relaxation on dates and in the bedroom, you have to get reference experiences.
Even though you will learn how to be confident by following all the previous steps, the ultimate level of confidence around women can only be reached if you put everything I wrote in this article into practice and get reference experiences in the dating world.
I don’t want to lie to you. You will be nervous when you are about to have your first sexual experience with a model, even if you are usually confident around women. If you, however, already had a couple of beautiful girls in your bed, you have the necessary reference experiences to stay completely calm and relaxed.
Take action, fail, stand up and try again.
Do everything in your power to gain as many experiences as you can and you will eventually reach a state of true confidence with every woman and in every possible situation.
Oh, and don’t forget ot check out my bestselling book Rise of the Phoenix.
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know how to be confident around women?
You can either choose to walk on the path of the faker or the path of the maker. If you belong to the group of guys who live by the fake it till you make it rule, you are doomed to fail. Ignoring that you have confidence issues is not the best way to solve them and you can scream at the reflection of your mirror as many times as you want, you are not the self-confident master PUA that you pretend to be. Neither you nor the women in your life (if you have one), believe you.
In case you talk yourself into believing that you are learning how to be confident around women and all you do is studying theory, you are doing it wrong. Reading about this topic is essential but taking action is even more important.
In order to really learn how to be confident around women you have to walk on the path of the maker. Instead of ignoring your problem you have to accept it. Start to work on your inner game and expand your comfort zone step by step. Surrounding yourself with women will help you to overcome your fears of women and getting the necessary reference experiences will make you more comfortable around women than you could possibly imagine.