You want to know how to start a conversation with a beautiful woman.
And I’m sure it’s because…
You see this cute girl. She might be your secret crush and you know her for years. Or she might be a total stranger you see in the middle of a busy mall. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you’re blown away.
She is so beautiful that you HAVE TO talk to her.
But you can’t. You can’t because you don’t know what to say, when to say it, and how to keep the conversation going. Heck, you don’t even know where to start. That’s why you’re nervous. And that’s why you don’t walk over to her.
Imagine you knew…
Continue reading this article and you’ll be able to do all these things…
How to Start, Have and Hold a Conversation with a Woman
I still remember my first conversation with a girl I approached on the street.
It was a disaster.
Believe it or not, but I really asked this poor girl the infamous “who lies more, men or women?” question. Yep, that was my opener. And she made this awkward facial expression women only make when they are disgusted by a guy.
That’s how I started conversations with girls a couple of years ago.
Since then, I tested different approaches and I wrote down the ones that work. And I discovered a way to hold the conversation as long as you want.
Here’s what I learned through trial and error…
10 Good Ways to Start a Conversation with a Girl
Let’s start with step zero.
I call it step zero because it’s not an action you take. Step zero starts in your head. I want you to delete all the bullshit you’re telling yourself. Stop telling yourself that you’re too ugly, awkward, or stupid to start a conversation with a woman.
You can do it. I know you can.
Here’s what you need to do, step by step…
1. Get Ready to Start a Conversation with a Girl
You have to get in the mood.
Famous self-help guru Tony Robbins doesn’t get on stage right after getting up from the couch. He does all kinds of crazy shit that includes bathing in ice water, jumping up and down and clapping his gigantic hands.
He warms up and you need to do the same.
Okay, you don’t have to bath in ice water, but you can…
Warm up before you go all in. This will make you feel prepared and good preparation leads to a higher self-confidence. And that leads to more approaches.
Let’s get ready to approach..
2. Notice Her and Make Her Notice You
I’ll share more than one good way to start a conversation with a girl.
But first, I want you to notice and be noticeable. But don’t worry. I won’t torture you with peacocking. This is not about walking around like Mystery in his best years. Please leave the magician hat at home.
Here’s what I want you to do instead:
You are hunting. You are a lion who’s looking for prey. Have you ever seen a lion wearing earphones? No? Then leave them at home! Stay focused. You can’t start a conversation with women when you don’t notice them.
Limit your distractions and it will be so much easier.
Why the smile?
Because some girls will smile back and these are the ones you want to approach…
3. Ignore the Chatter in Your Mind
You’re about to walk up to her.
She’s only a couple of steps away from you. And she looks gorgeous. You want to start a conversation with this girl. You want her to smile and you want to ask her out.
Suddenly, your mind becomes pudding.
Dude, she’s in front of you! Stop bullshitting yourself!
I know what your mind is trying to do and you know it too. Your mind is a fragile little princess. It doesn’t want you to get hurt.
“Taking a risk? Hell no!”
Your mind doesn’t want you to approach her. I want you to ignore the chatter in your mind and to start the conversation with her.
How will you decide?
4. Walk up to Her with a Smile on Your Face
You are still here.
That means you decided to ignore the chatter in your mind and to take action. Awesome! It’s time to walk up to her. Yep, take the two long sticks you call legs and move.
Now you’re standing right in front of her…but she doesn’t smile.
Why does she look so serious?
I can tell you why. You forgot to smile.
This poor girl is scared to death. You look like a mixture of Ted Bundy and this dude…
Don’t worry about being not alpha enough.Not smiling is way worse. Put yourself in her shoes. She doesn’t know if you’re a cool guy, batshit crazy, or worse, a salesman. A genuine smile will make her feel comfortabl
Oh, and watch your hands…
5. Interrupt Her in a Pleasant Way
Let’s face it.
There are good ways to start a conversation with a beautiful woman. But there are also bad ways to do it. Unfortunately, a lot of guys do the really bad stuff.
Here are some examples:
Please, for the love of God, don’t do any of these things. Yes, you can run after her, but then don’t tap her on the shoulder. Walk past her, make sure that she sees you, and approach her. That’s how you do it without scaring the shit out of her.
Imagine a stranger would tap you on the shoulder.
You’d be scared too. So don’t do it. Oh, and one last word to the screaming, whistling and waving: Only complete retards with headbands and too much swag do this kind of crap.
You, on the other hand, run after her, get in front of her, and say “hi”…
6. Introduce Yourself with a Casual Opener
This word can be all you need. I’m serious. Starting a conversation with a woman is not about using the fanciest opener. I mean, I’ll share dozens of openers with you in the following paragraphs. But it doesn’t have to be sophisticated.
Short and sweet casual openers can work really well.
Let me give you some examples:
You don’t have to be the next Shakespeare and come up with the best casual opener in this solar system. The simple things in life are often the best.
7. Make Her Day with These Direct Openers
Let’s face it.
An innocent “Hi, I’m Jack, how are you?” can be a good start. But you have to do more. If you start the conversation with a casual opener and you don’t mix it up with a direct opener, she’ll put you in the friend zone.
The casual opener gets her attention. And that’s great. However, it doesn’t reveal why you are talking to her.
She doesn’t know.
Use a direct opener or follow a casual opener with a direct opener and she’ll know what’s up. Suddenly, the friend zone is not an option anymore.
Here’s what you could say:
Yeah, I admit it. The last opener is a bit cheesy. But even cheesy openers like this can work. The other two are bullet-proof. Just in case you want to stay on the safe side.
8. Seize the Moment with These Situational Openers
What are situational openers?
You are like a child. You see something and you say what you think. Yep, that’s what situational openers are. You observe a situation and you react to it. This makes them one of the most natural ways to start a conversation.
Imagine the following situation…
You are at the train station and waiting for a train. The train is already five minutes late and the girl next to you is obviously pissed. She’s German and she hates late trains.
Here’s what you could say to her:
Can you see what I did?
I mixed situational openers with direct openers…and I added humor. That’s way more effective than an annoyed “oh man, the trains are late again”.
Be creative and seize the moment.
9. Show Your Confidence with These Opinion Openers
Oh shit, wait!
Don’t use the most famous opinion opener of all time:
“Who lies more, men or women, what do you think?”
Everyone who has read The Game by Neil Strauss, has watched MTV’s The Pickup Artist, or has been alive in the early 2000s knows this line. Don’t get me wrong. Asking a girl for her opinion is a great way to start a conversation with her.
But you need the right question AND the right timing.
Here’s what I like to do:
I combine the opinion opener with a situational opener.
Here’s what you do after you delivered your opener:
You share your opinion with her because a man who shares his opinion is a confident man. And confident men get laid.
10. Perfect Your Very Own Canned Opener
Jordan Peterson is all about cleaning your room and I’m all about being prepared.
I can’t say it often enough. The right preparation beats everything. Be prepared to start a conversation with any woman you want and you’ll rock the show.
Here’s what I want you to do after you’ve read this article:
Learn your openers like a child learns words in a foreign language. Repeat them over and over again and take them with you. Have them in your mind and in your pocket before you go out and approach women.
Remember: The prepared general wins the battle.
How to Engage a Woman in a Conversation
Now you know how to start a conversation with a beautiful woman.
But let me ask you something:
Do you want it to end after five seconds?
I’m sure the answer is “no”. You want to talk to her for more than a couple of seconds. Heck, you want to ask her out on a date. You NEED more than five seconds.
Here’s how to stop her from running away…
11. Introduce Yourself in a Playful Way
The headline is the most important part of an article.
Every writer and journalist knows that. If the headline sucks, nobody will read the rest. The same is true for talking to girls. If your introduction sucks, she won’t even listen to the second part of your marvelous speech.
That’s why I’m a big fan of creative introductions:
That’s more engaging than “hey, my name is John.” I mean, that’s not bad. But you don’t have to settle for mediocre when you can make her laugh in the first couple of seconds.
12. Make an Assumption about Her
Assumptions are a great way to engage a woman in a conversation.
The idea is pretty simple:
- 1You assume something about her.
- 2She tells you why it’s true or false.
- 3You tell her why you assumed it.
Let me give you an example:
Let’s say you’re talking to a girl who looks adventurous.
She has tattoos on her shoulder and her bag is full of travel stickers. You could assume that she’s an adventurous girl. No matter if your assumption is right or wrong, you can tell her why you assumed it. Now the conversation is flowing.
Here’s what you do next:
You ask her the right questions…
13. Ask Her Engaging Questions
What are the right questions?
This section is about engaging a woman in a conversation. It’s not hard to guess what kind of questions you should be asking. And no, asking her how she feels about the weather is not an engaging question.
You can do better than that:
Boring questions lead to boring conversations. You want the opposite.
14. Dive Right into Her Passion
Speaking of her passion…
Dive right into her. Oh, sorry. That was inappropriate. I meant her passion. You should dive right into her passion.
Women love to talk about the things they are passionate about!
That’s why you have to…
What do I mean by relating to her passion?
Let’s say she totally loves cats. But you hate these noisy, bird-eating, and biting bastards. You prefer dogs. You can still listen to her talking about cats, telling her that you feel the same…just with different animals.
If you can’t connect through topics, you can connect through emotions.
How to Hold a Conversation with a Woman
Now she’s engaged.
You’re already talking for more than ten minutes.
Good job! That’s longer than most guys last in bed.
But what if you could turn ten minutes into 20 minutes?
She’ll definitely give you her number after a 20-minute conversation…
15. Make Fun about the Awkwardness
Here’s what one of my mentors once said:
“It’s always awkward when two people meet for the first time. But it’s even more awkward to pretend that it’s not awkward.”
This is so true.
Nevertheless, women don’t like awkwardness. They hate it because they believe that it’s a bad thing. I mean, every movie for girls has an awkward guy and at least one embarrassing moment. That shit conditioned her.
Making fun of this dreaded feeling calms her mind.
Don’t take yourself and the situation so seriously and enjoy a lively conversation with a relaxed woman.
16. Use Physical Touch to Hold the Conversation
Here’s how to make a conversation with a woman more interesting:
Remember: You didn’t start talking to her for the sake of having a conversation. You’re approach has a purpose. You want to get laid or you want to get a girlfriend…or both.
You’re not just in it for the fun.
Your direct opener revealed your sexual intent and your touch should prove it.
17. Get Her Number When it’s Time
Did you reach the 20-minute mark?
You’ve already talked for more than 20 minutes. It’s time to get out before the positive vibe turns into the desire to run for the hills. Stop when she's the most excited. She'll stay in this state until she sees you again.
Make sure that you get her number at this stage.
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know how to start a conversation with a woman? Good, stop putting yourself down. Lift yourself up and warm up. You can’t expect to go from zero to hero. And you can’t expect her to stop when you whistle and scream.
Choose an opener that works. I don’t care if you use a situational, a direct, or a casual opener. Everything is better than the good-old “who lies more, men or women?” crap. Oh, and don’t forget to engage her.
She has passions and it’s your job to talk about them. But it’s also your job to let her know that you’re attracted to her. Touch her and don’t worry about being awkward. Starting a conversation is always awkward.