“Only sex tourists date Pattaya girls!”
That’s what I thought too.
As you might know, I am in a relationship with an amazing Thai woman and I’m going to move to Thailand next year. I don’t want to brag, but when it comes to dating Thai girls, I consider myself an expert.
And as you might also know, my vision is to help men like you to find love and happiness through global dating. So, now you might ask yourself the following question:
“Why in the name of God do you write an article about dating Pattaya girls?”
The truth is that I always wanted to avoid writing this article.
I’ve written about the women in Bangkok and the women in Chiang Mai. Then I received an email from a guy who wanted to meet women in Pattaya. In his email he wrote that he was not a sex tourist.
To be honest, I didn’t believe him. When I told him that there are hundreds of go-go bars and thousands of bar girls in this city, he replied in a way that I didn’t expect.
“I think about retiring in Pattaya because it’s cheaper than Bangkok and I want to live by the ocean. I’m not interested in dating bar girls. I want a girlfriend, not a girlfriend experience.”
I was surprised.
I didn’t expect that. But that was the moment when I realized that not all men who go to Pattaya are sex tourists. Heck, I even went there with my girlfriend. We wanted to spend a relaxed day at the beach and it’s the closest beach to Bangkok.
So, in case you are a man who wants to spend your holiday at the beach, move to Pattaya, or enjoy your retirement in one of the condos near the ocean and you are not interested in the bar scene, this article is for you.
But I have to warn you.
This article is NOT for sex tourists who are looking for price comparisons of different go-go bars or soapy massage parlors. I recommend you check out this guide about the bar scene.
This article is for men who want to find a girlfriend or a wife in Pattaya who doesn’t charge for every hour.
Let’s have a look at where to meet and how to date amazing women in a city that is known for blowjob bars and fake girlfriend experiences…
Why Dating Pattaya Girls is Not Just for Sex Tourists
Pattaya is a big city. It’s the second biggest tourist hotspot in Thailand. The city has more than 100.000 inhabitants. And that’s just the official number of the inhabitants who are registered. The Thai government assumes that Pattaya has between 300.000 and 500.000 inhabitants.
How many of these 300.000-500.000 people are bar girls?
Even though I found different statistics, we can assume that about 5.000-20.000 are bar girls work in this city.
I believe that 10.000 is a far more realistic number than 20.000, but let’s calculate this example with the high estimate. If half of the population is female we would have 150.000 female inhabitants (low estimate) and 20.000 bar girls (high estimate).
According to Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla and Carl Friedrich Gauss this means that only 13.33% of the female inhabitants are bar girls. This means that:
These 86% of women are overlooked by most men.
But who are these women?
- They are the girls who work in the supermarkets and malls.
- They are the girls who work in one of the many hotels.
- They are the girls who work in one of the hundreds of restaurants and cafes.
Saying that all women in Pattaya are prostitutes would be ignorant and statistically false. The vast majority of women in this city have normal jobs. And guess what, they don’t want to date a sex tourist.
If you meet a girl who works in a big hotel, you can bet your ass that she said “Sawadee Krap” to at least five sexpats and their bar girls within the last two hours. She’s sick and tired of these guys and yes, she’s desperate because these guys are the only ones who approach her.
That's good news for every international dating fan.
Just imagine how this girl will feel when you, a man who is the complete opposite of the sex tourists she sees every day, approach her with a charming smile and an honest invitation.
Why Dating a Pattaya Bar Girl is a Terrible Idea
“But Sebastian, why should I make the effort to meet Pattaya girls with normal jobs when there are so many hot bar girls?”
This is a legitimate question.
In case you’ve been to Pattaya, you know how hot some of these girls are. They know exactly what they do when they hug you with their tight panties, their fake contact lenses and their red lipstick.
Just don’t make the mistake to assume that they play the naughty girl because they have such a good time dancing around in their underwear. I am sick and tired of guys who write “here you see bar girls who are having a great time” under pictures of two young women who are dancing on a pole.
I have been to these places and none of the girls looked happy. They look uncomfortable and ashamed. Okay, some of them look happy. Talk to them and you know why. Let me give you a hint: drugs make it possible.
I don’t tell you this because I judge men who pay for sex. I’m not an angel and if you want to pay for a girlfriend experience, then do it. The girls want to earn money and you want some fun. It’s a simple transaction.
However, I want to warn you about one thing:
Don’t fall in love with a Thai bar girl!
They know exactly how to make you believe that they are in love with you and before you know it, you are a victim of the bar girl trap.
What’s the bar girl trap?
I already wrote about it in this article about Thai women, but I’ll explain it briefly:
- You fall in love with a bar girl.
- She pretends to be in love with you.
- She convinces you to build a house on her land in the Isan.
- You invest all your money in “your” house and she kicks you out because foreigners can’t own land in Thailand.
Sound like your typical Disney movie, huh?
Well, it’s the cold hard reality for many guys who date a Pattaya bar girl and fall in love with her.
Before you even think about dating a bar girl, you must understand that these women are raised with the belief that Farangs (you and I) are walking ATM’s. Your love for her won’t change anything about it.
Falling for a bar girl can be extremely dangerous and very expensive.
The Case of the Man Who Married an Ex-Bargirl from Pattaya
“Okay, I understand that I shouldn’t date Pattaya bar girls, but what about ex-bar girls?”
There is a saying that you can get the girl out of the bar, but you can’t get the bar out of the girl.
Think about it this way:
Her parents taught her that money is the only reason to marry. Her whole life she has used men for money. She has slept with thousands of guy (do you really want to marry such a woman?) and she has probably told hundreds of them that she loves them, misses them and thinks of them every second.
Oh, and she said all these nice things while skyping with three other guys who were dumb enough to send her money.
That’s the reality you are facing.
But that doesn’t mean that a marriage with an ex-bar girl has to end in a disaster. Some of the girls want to get out of this scene. Some of those girls, slowly but steadily, experience what it really means to be loved instead of bought.
The last time I went to Pattaya with my girlfriend, I met a guy on the bus who was happily married to an ex-bar girl. He told me that his wife is the sweetest and kindest woman on earth. The way he looked at his wife and the way she looked at him told me that they were happy.
How to Distinguish Between Bar Girls and Normal Pattaya Girls
But how do you actually know if you are talking to a bar girl?
Ah, that’s easy.
It always amazes me when I see a Western guy talking to a bar girl and he obviously has no clue who he’s dealing with. Jesus, it’s so obvious. Or maybe I just think it’s obvious because spend more time in Thailand than in my home country.
The difference between bar girls and normal Pattaya girls (remember the 86%) is clearer than the sky. And I think the best way to show you just how different these two types of women are is with a comparison chart.
Thai Bar Girl
- Has the typical Isan girl facial features (very small, big lips, dark skin).
- Walks around in revealing clothes.
- You can find one tattoo on her back and one on her left ass cheek.
- Speaks the Isan language (very different than the Thai that is spoken in Bangkok).
- Spends half of the day on Facebook and Instagram to attract sponsors.
- Spends the other half of the day on Skype to get money from the sponsors she attracted.
- Sleeps during the day and “works” during the night.
- Her Thai Friendly profile shows pictures of her in underwear.
- Asks you to give her money because her grandmother is sick and her water buffalo has diarrhea.
Normal Thai Girl
- Might be from the Isan, but doesn’t walk around like a prostitute.
- Knows how to behave in social situations.
- Spends 90% of the day working in her normal job.
- Doesn’t have a tattoo because she knows that her dad would kill her if he saw it.
- Her Thai Cupid profile shows pictures of her in her working uniform.
- Never asks for money because she doesn't need a sponsor.
Having a tattoo or uploading thousands of selfies in revealing clothes is normal in the Western world. But these things are anything but normal in Thailand.
They are only normal for a girl who doesn’t go to McDonalds when she tells you that she has night shift.
How to Meet a Normal Thai Girl in Pattaya During the Day
It’s far easier to meet a normal Thai girl in Pattaya when you look for her during the day. That’s the time when the bar girls are sleeping because they banged, umm worked so hard the night before.
The bad girls are sleeping and the good girls are working.
Make use of this time. Go out and approach beautiful Thai girls who don’t have a water buffalo with diarrhea, Come on, make them smile. This is your chance.
There are dozens of places in this city where you can meet normal Pattaya girls who can’t wait to go on a date with you…
Pick up Pattaya Girls in One of the Big Malls
There are three big shopping malls in this city of debauchery that every man who wants to meet a cute shop assistant should visit.
- Central Festival
- Mike Shopping Mall
- Central Center
Here's an overview of the biggest shopping malls in Pattaya:
Just walk in and approach one of the girls. But make sure that she is not surrounded by ten of her coworkers. Otherwise she will be too shy.
Oh, and in case you neither know how to approach her nor how to get her number, this article about approaching women and this article about getting a girl’s number will help you.
Find Your Pattaya Girlfriend at a Speed Dating Event
Of course you can walk around all day and approach one girl after another in the streets of Pattaya. Depending on where you go, you might meet a couple of girls who are on holiday or who just take a break from work. But that’s exhausting.
Speed dating is way more fun.
There are several cafes and restaurants that offer speed dating events. A couple of years ago they even tried to set a new speed dating world record. Yes, in Pattaya. Remember, it’s a city with thousands of foreigners and tens of thousands of lonely Thai girls who can’t find a decent man.
Meet Your Pattaya Bride in the Hotel Lobby
Even though I think that speed dating is fun, I believe that it’s not the best way to meet women in Pattaya.
Hotel lobbies are way better.
Yep, hotels are the best places to meet sexy Pattaya girls.
No, I don’t mean the prostitutes who use the hotel lobby as a place to hunt for customers. I’m also not talking about the massage girls who wait until the concierge allows them to go to room 69. I don’t care about these girls and you shouldn’t either.
You should, however, care about the thousands of Thai girls who work in the tourism industry. These educated girls lonely as hell because they work incredibly long hours.
But it gets even better.
They speak English. Not just “handsome where you go” and “you funny guy”. No, most of the girls who work in hotels speak really good English.
Beautiful + Educated + English + Lonely = International Dating Heaven
Approach ten Pattaya girls in ten different hotels and I guarantee you that you will go on at least one date.
That’s the power of hotel game (I should trademark this).
How to Enjoy the Nightlife of Pattaya and Meet Your Bride
Yeah, I know. This sounds like a contradiction in terms.
“Just go to the biggest whorehouse in South East Asia and look for the love of your life!”
What a great idea!
Well, it’s not as stupid as it sounds.
I mean, it’s obviously way easier to find a decent girl when you approach women who work in the hotels or the restaurants near the Walking Street, than when you go to a club on the Walking Street. That’s obvious.
A lot of the girls you find in the clubs, especially the ones with many tattoos, are either bar girls who didn’t get barfined or freelancers who have too many STDs to work in one of the bars (stay away from them). But that doesn’t mean that finding Pattaya girls who are girlfriend material or even marriage material is impossible.
A vast percentage of the women you can meet in one of the clubs or at a pool party belong to one of the following categories:
- Tourist girls from other Thai provinces, mainly from Bangkok
- College girls who want to have a good time
- Women with normal jobs who want to meet foreigners
- Tourist girls from other parts of Asia
I don’t say the nightlife of this raunchy city is perfect for finding your Pattaya bride. All I say is that it’s possible and that you might end up dating a beautiful Thai hotel receptionist or a hot Korean tourist when you hit the clubs.
Meet Your Pattaya Girlfriend in One of Many Clubs
There are many clubs where you can meet college girls who want to party like there is no tomorrow and Korean girls who want to present the results of their three latest plastic surgeries.
As long as you visit one of the following clubs and say no to every tattooed girl who asks you to go to your room without even knowing your name, you have a good chance to meet your next girlfriend.
The Mixx Club consists of two separate rooms. You can choose between the Rouge club on the left for Hip hop fans and the Crystal club on the right, which is perfect for everyone who enjoys house music.
The majority of the crowd consists of Western tourists and young Thai girls from all around the country. The club opens at 21:00 and the entry is free.
In case this is not the first of my articles you read, you know that I am not a big fan of clubs. I’m an introvert and I enjoy quiet places more than deafening music and lights that give you an epileptic seizure. However, some clubs are so amazing that even I enjoy them.
The Pierre is one of them.
It’s my favorite club in this Pattaya. Period.
The people, the atmosphere, the dancers…it’s an amazing place. And even if you don’t find your Pattaya bride in this club, you’ll at least have a great time.
The third and last club that I want to mention is the Club Insomnia. No, not the Insomnia Club around Nana in Bangkok.
There’s one in Pattaya too. And it’s big.
Even though I prefer the Pierre, I can’t deny that the Insomnia is the most famous one. It’s packed, always. The entry of this club is also free. It’s definitely a great club, but there is one catch.
It’s famous. Every tourist and backpacker knows about it. Finding Pattaya bar girls and freelancers in there is easy. Finding a girlfriend or a wife is a lot harder.
Meet Sexy Pattaya Girls at Pool Parties
Yes, you can go to pool parties during the day, but to be honest, that can be a bit boring. I don’t know why, but the human race tends to adjust their inhibitions to the daylight.
The darker it gets, the less inhibitions people have.
Just visit the Planet Earth Beach Club or the infamous foam party at the Hard Rock Hotel after 10 pm and you’ll understand what I mean.
Pool parties can be a great place to meet hot Pattaya girls and once it gets dark it’s even more exciting than during the day…
How to Find Your Pattaya Bride on an Online Dating Site
Hitting the clubs is fun, pool parties lead to unforgettable memories and approaching girls who work in the hotel industry can lead to a lot of dates.
Unfortunately, you can’t talk to 6.934 cute hotel receptionists in one day. It’s impossible.
You can, however, talk to 6.934 cute girls on Thai Friendly, one of the biggest online dating sites in Thailand. The last time I logged into my Thai Friendly account, 6.934 girls were online, many of them were from Pattaya.
Click here to find out how I set up 10 dates in less than 5 minutes on Thai Friendly
But I want to be honest with you.
A lot of the over 1.000.000 girls you find on Thai Friendly are college girls who are looking for fun and bar girls, especially when you chat with girls from Pattaya. In my experience, the site is perfect when you look for short-term romances, but not when you dream about dating Pattaya girls who want a serious relationship.
But that’s just my opinion.
I honestly believe that Thai Cupid, the biggest Thai online dating site on the web, is better for everyone who is looking for a Thai girlfriend or wife, no matter if she’s from Pattaya or any other part of Thailand.
Believe me, you will find the right girl among the 1.5 million members.
I know what I’m talking about. I found my girlfriend on this site (read the story here). This is the site for guys who are looking for a serious relationship. If you dream about marrying a girl from Pattaya, this Thai dating site is for you.
Click here to see the exact messages I used to set up dates on Thai Cupid)
Should You Marry a Girl from Pattaya?
One of my coaching clients met a stunning Pattaya girl online. She had her own business, a big car and several condos. The guy I met on the bus and his wife seemed happy. He made the right choice by marrying her. She was an ex-bar girl.
On the other hand, I also know stories from guys who fell in love with bar girls and who eventually got kicked out of the house they paid for.
Everything can happen when you date Pattaya girls.
Dating and especially marrying a bar girl is an unpredictable risk that I wouldn’t take. Not dating an amazing girl who has a normal job in a normal hotel, just because you are paranoid that she is a freelancer or gold-digger, can be a huge mistake that you will regret.
It’s not easy to answer this question, but here’s what I would do…
Marrying a Girl from Pattaya is a Bad Idea if…
She’s a bar girl.
You might disagree with me. That’s okay. But I will state my opinion anyway.
Despite the success stories of men who married a bar girl, I still think that the risk is too high. Sorry, but I really believe that it’s possible to get the girl out of the bar, but impossible to get the bar out of the girl, at least when you meet her at a time when she’s actively “working”.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you fall in love with a bar girl and you will be happier than you’ve ever been when you marry your Pattaya bride.
It’s possible. Everything is possible. I just want you to go into the relationship with a closed wallet and an open ear.
Marrying a Girl from Pattaya is a Good idea if…
She is a normal girl.
She works in a completely normal job and has never been in a go-go bar. There’s nothing wrong with marrying a girl from Pattaya when she has a normal job and real feelings for you.
What if she is an ex-bar girl who left the bar scene a few months ago?
Once the dust is settled, things look a bit different. The best psychological explanation I can think of is that it takes time to heal the wounds of the past and to get used to a normal life.
And even though marrying an ex-bar girl is a far better choice than to marry a girl who is still working in a bar, it doesn’t come without a risk. It’s impossible to foresee the psychological effects that working in a go-go bar had on her mental stability and on her ability to love and to receive love.
At the end of the day, these girls are normal human beings who want to be happy and loved. You can only hope that the bar didn’t destroy her humanity.
Summed Up Wisdom
I never thought that I would write this article, but I’m glad I did. It’s finally time to show you that dating Pattaya girls is not just for sex tourists and sexpats. It’s finally time to show the world that not all women in this city are the same. In fact, the majority of the female population has never worked in a bar.
Yes, some men are happily married to bar girls and I actually met one guy who loves his wife, an ex-bar girl, more than anything. But please don’t ignore all the beautiful foreign women in Pattaya who work in the restaurants, malls and hotels all around the city. They are sick and tired of the sex tourists and lonely because they would rather chop off their finger than date one of these guys.
Once you know how a typical bar girl looks like and how a normal Thai girl dresses, talks and behaves, you can hit the clubs, hit the malls or get to know her in the lobby of the hotel she’s working in. Marrying a girl from Pattaya who doesn’t work in a bar is definitely less risky than marrying one of the half-naked girls you find on the Walking Street. However, that doesn’t mean that marrying a bar girl can’t be the right choice for you.
Sebastian Harris says
here’s what I do:
I ask for information, give her a cheeky smile and hand her my business card. It works in about 30% of the cases.
How do you approach girl working in a hotel? Walking up to them and saying hello? That’s really odd and a hotel guard might kick you out.