Today I want to talk about 10 reasons not to get married. To be even more precise, I want to talk about signs of your girlfriend that should rather motivate you to run as fast as you than having the glorious idea to put a ring on her finger.
But before I am going to save your life, your money and your dignity by showing you exactly when you should tell your girlfriend “honey, marrying you would be the biggest mistake of my life”, I want to show you the advice-seeking words that inspired me to write this article.
Yesterday I received and email from a young guy who is only two years older than me. After I gave him a long and detailed answer that helped him to reactivate his brain cells, he actually encouraged me to use him as an example.
Without further introduction I want to show you the email he sent me (the names are changed):
First I want to say that I am a huge fan of your articles and of your humor, even if it’s sometimes bittersweet. I know that you are very busy man, but I would appreciate if you would give me your honest opinion on the following:
I and my girlfriend Emily are together for almost two years. We are living in California. I am 27, she is 31 and all in all our relationship is quite good. We have a lot of similar interests and do a lot of things together. The only annoying thing is that she always wants to party, party, party. It’s sometimes a bit exhausting. About a year ago we had a lot of fights. She took antidepressants and was really unhappy, but thank god this changed. Now she just takes them from time to time.
Anyway, during the last weeks and months she puts a lot of pressure on. She wants to get married, better today than tomorrow. A few days ago I accidently said that we can get married if she wants and now she expect me to buy her a ring, but I don’t know if it’s the right choice.
It would be great if you could give me a bit of advice.
Even though I read the whole email, I could have stopped at “all in all our relationship is quite good”.
That said it all.
I not only gave this disillusioned fella a bit of advice, I wrote him a whole novel in which I made one thing clear:
“Don’t do it!”
Jason, in case you still decide to do it there is only one thing I can do:
I am Not Against Marriage, BUT….
Don’t get me wrong. I am not against marriage, but this guy listed more red flags than a torero could possibly use throughout his entire career.
Yes, there are women who want to marry because they are in love with you.
There are women who see marrying the man of their dreams as the biggest gift on earth. There are women who still have traditional family values and who regard pleasing their husbands and raising children as the key to a fulfilled life.
However, those girls are extremely rare, at least when you are searching in the USA, in Germany, in the UK or in any other country that has been infected by the feministic, individualistic and materialistic virus that we call culture.
If you have found a beautiful, young, traditional, loyal girl with strong family values and a big heart I am the last one who tells you that you shouldn’t marry her. If you, however, are together with a woman who shows the same red flags as Jason’s wifey (hopefully not) for lifey, you should think twice before you make the biggest mistake of your life.
The uncomfortable truth that women don’t admit and many men don’t want to hear is that the majority of women know exactly WHY they decide to ask their loving and sometimes dumb enough boyfriends to put a ring on their finger.
Why She REALLY Wants to Marry You
I am not a misogynist, I respect and love women and I enjoy spending time with them. Due to the fact that I spend the majority of my time around women, I know that they are anything but stupid. You might not want to hear that, but women who are in love tend to think a lot more rational than men who are in love.
There is nothing as naive and gullible as a man who is in love.
Women know that and a lot of them make use of the fact that they can do, say and demand whatever they want as long as their boyfriend wears those beautiful rose-colored glasses. Please take off your rose-colored glasses for one moment and think about the following question:
Why do you think she wants to marry you?
If you are really honest to yourself you can think of at least one logical reason that has nothing to do with her unconditional love.
She Wants to Fulfill Her Romantic Fairytale
There is actually one reason why women want to get married that is closely related to love. At least it is closely related to an ideal image of love, which is the result of too many Disney movies.
In the real world you could describe this image as a completely unrealistic expectation.
One reason why women want to get married is to fulfill their romantic fairytale, which is definitely a reason not to get married. I mean, you can try to fulfill her unrealistically high expectations of the prince with the white horse, the knight in shining armor and the caring husband who tells her every morning how beautiful she is, even though she gains more than two kilos every week.
You can do that, but don’t say I didn’t warn you if you plunge yourself into emotional and financial ruin. Yes, financial ruin is a bittersweet by-product of a girl who wants to live her fairytale by having a fairytale wedding. The average wedding in the USA costs more than $26.000.
In case you would decide to allow some other naïve idiot to fulfill her fairytale dream, you could take the $26.000, travel the world for two years, sleep with countless beautiful women and end up finding a girl who is marriage material and who is grown-up enough to not need a $26.000 wedding. It’s just a suggestion.
She Knows that Marriage Means Power
Marriage is power. I am sorry, but I can’t say it in any other way. I am sure that your girlfriend is a respectable and lovable human being, but if she urges you to get married, it might be because she wants to feel an exclusive security that our messed up society provides her with.
50 years ago this security meant a loyal husband who provided for her and a comfortable life. Today the security that women can expect from getting married exceeds your wildest dreams. And believe me when I say that she knows more about the benefits and the power…um the security that marriage brings along.
I know that I will get a few hate comments for what I have to say now, but countless brutally honest conversations with Western women showed me that I am right.
The truth is that women know that once they are married they have the power to do whatever they want.
They can stop sleeping with you, they can stop taking care of their looks and they can stop to be the loving and charming girl that they used to be. Hell, they can even cheat on you, get a divorce and still get the kids and a huge amount of your hard-earned money.
Of course not all women are like that, but ignoring the fact that some women see their wedding day as their ultimate pay day can be a deadly mistake. I am a lover of women, but I can’t allow that the love for women leads to naive ignorance of the obvious.
As a man in a Western country you have to understand that the contract works against you.
She Wants to Get Her Piece of the Cake
We already got quite controversial, but now it’s time to shift up one gear.
I am actually not a big fan of this whole sexual value theory that says that women lose all their sexual value once they hit 30, while men increase their sexual value when they are over 30.
That’s not true at all. If a woman eats healthy, hits the gym and looks after herself she is definitely way more attractive at 30, than a man who eats junk food, gets fat and hasn’t been in the gym since the invention of the bench press.
Saying that men get more and more attractive when they get older, while women get less attractive is extremely narrow-minded and only true under certain conditions.
You simply can’t deny a few simple facts that encourage women to marry at the age of 30. Guess what? They have nothing to do with love.
You can be the most confident feminist or white knight in history, but you can’t deny that a lot of women tend to get nervous when they reach the threshold of 30. They know that this is (from a biological perspective) the last chance to have children. They know that a healthy and successful 30 year old man could easily date women 5 to 10 years younger and they also know that their body ages rapidly once they reach a certain age.
I mean, there is even a woman who claims that women lose the dating game, especially when they want to find a man at the same age who matches them in terms of success and education. If you are such a guy you don’t have to wonder why your girlfriend urges you to get married.
She knows that she can’t get anyone better than you. She also knows that, ten years from now, you could easily get a woman who is a lot younger and more attractive to you. Isn’t love beautiful?
10 Reasons Not to Get Married aka 10 Signs She is Not Marriage Material
Now that you have hopefully realized that there are in fact reasons why your girlfriend wants you to put a ring on her finger that have nothing to do with love, it is time to look at some dangerous red flags.
Instead of just listing general reasons not to get married that every man with half a brain cell knows (e.g. don’t do it because your parents want it), I decided to give you a practical guide on how to spot a woman who won’t be a good wife.
The following signs and reasons not to get married provide you with enough clarity to make a wise decision. If you ignore them, you might end up like this guy.
1. She Has Been Raised in a Western Culture
The Western women, the media and especially the German minister of family affairs will hate me for what I am about to say.
As a man who has both experience in dating Western women and women from more traditional cultures you will understand me. As a man who has only dated Western women, I can hopefully inspire you to explore and feel the green grass on the other side, before you decide to marry some 30 year old dragon.
If the girl you should/want to marry has been raised in a Western culture you should not get married. Period.
It’s not even the fault of the women that I see myself forced to say this. Just have a look at the values that our society rams into the brain of young women and you’ll understand my warning.
- Individualism is worth more than family structure and a supportive relationship. Be as individual as possible and don’t allow a man to change you!
- Party, work and get wasted till you are 35. Then you can look for the handsome, successful Mr. Right (or Big) who does everything for you, even if you are on antidepressants and addicted to alcohol. Live the Sex and the City dream baby!
- A stressful management position that eventually leads to a burn out and a mental breakdown is the road to female fulfillment. Having a family is just a burden.
- A woman who stays at home and takes care of her kids misses out on the opportunity to live the life of her dreams (aka number 3).
2. She Loves Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives
When I told my girlfriend about Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives she just looked at me and said “are these the crazy American shows for lonely middle-aged women who can’t find a man?”
That’s why I love her so much.
Unfortunately, the ratings figures of those and other crappy shows that convey the same message are so high that both young and old women watch it. Okay, but why should watching those shows be one of the reasons not to get married?
Well, if your girlfriend loves shows in which the single lifestyle of middle-aged women is pictured as glamorous, exciting and fulfilling while being married is pictured as frustrating and miserable, it’s not hard to imagine how she REALLY thinks about getting married.
A woman who watches those shows because she fantasizes about the lifestyle and who additionally gets conditioned to believe that bollocks has the potential to be a very desperate wife.
3. She Says Thinks about Divorce Before the Marriage
Did your girlfriend ever mention the topic divorce? Has she ever thought about what could happen if you two get married and it wouldn’t work out? Has she ever told you what she would do if a divorce would be inevitable?
“When we would get divorced, I would…”
In case this or a similar gibberish sounds familiar to you, you should not get married. Being together with a woman who even thinks about getting a divorce is an obvious reason not to get married.
A girl who really wants to be your wife and who is 100% sure to spend the rest of her life with you doesn’t even think about divorce!
Isn’t this a bit extreme?
Maybe, but it will save you from a lot of stress when “I would” turns into “I can” or “I will”.
4. She is a Cheater
Let me ask you a very simple question. You can either choose A or B as an answer. I don’t want to ruin the quiz for you, but if you choose A you end up in a happy marriage. If you choose B, you’ll eventually find your wife lying naked in your marriage bed while the sperm of another man is dripping down her lips.
Here is the question:
Who do you think is more likely to cheat?
A: a woman who has never cheated on anyone.
B: a woman who has done it before.
The answer shouldn’t be that hard. Nevertheless, I met quite a few guys who even think about marrying a girl who swallowed the sperm of another man after they were already together for two years.
Again, it’s time for another facepalm…
Yes, she might regret it and maybe she cheated on her ex-boyfriend and not on you, but that doesn’t change anything about the fact that cheating is one of the reasons not to get married. If she did it once, the inhibition level to do it again is damn low.
5. She Urges You to Get Married
I already told you that it is no coincidence that a lot of women want to get married when they reach the age of 30.
At this age their biological clock is screaming at them:
“Now you partied enough. It’s time to settle down with your prince charming. You know that you are not as beautiful with 35 as you were with 25, you know it! Why don’t you act? Act goddammit! The clock is ticking! You are running out of time!”
Let’s have a look at the result of this inner monologue:
“Honey, we should get married!”
“Why don’t you want me to marry? What are you afraid of?”
“Even Beyoncé says if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it…when do you marry me?!”
Gentlemen, don’t allow a woman to push you into marriage. Just because she urges you to get married doesn’t mean that you should do it, especially when you don’t really want it. An urging girlfriend is definitely one of the reasons not to get married.
6. She is a Lot Older than You
In case you are in love with a woman who is much older than you I have the deepest respect for you. Dating older women can be exciting and extremely educational and I am pretty sure that she is an amazing human being.
Nevertheless, I have to warn you.
If you are an inexperienced 20 year old guy who meets a sexually experienced 35 year old woman who fucks your brain out, you probably want to spend the rest of your life with her and inside of her.
But before you think about marrying this woman, because you are so in love with her, think ten years down the line. When you reach the age of 35 you might want to start a family, have children and explore the world with your partner.
When you reach this age she is already 50 and way too old to have children without risking a 50/50 chance that they all have Down’s syndrome. When you then think about traveling the world when the kids are in college, she is already 70 and probably too weak to walk without a wheeled walker.
I don’t want to offend you or any older woman. I just want you to be realistic about it.
7. She is an Ex Party Girl
Another reason not to get married is when the girl who expects the ring is an ex party girl. Why is this one of the reasons not to get married?
Because there is no such thing as an ex party girl.
If she has been a party girl in the past, she is still one today. Maybe she has stopped hitting the clubs, but the personality characteristics that led her on the party girl road are still inside of her. The desire to get wild and unpredictable and the urge to get male attention (a lot of male attention) are still inside of her.
I don’t know about you, but marrying such a girl is a risk that I wouldn’t take.
8. She is Materialistic
What does your girlfriend value the most?
In case she values your honesty, your sense of humor and your caring nature, marriage is not the worst idea. In case she values her new Prada handbag, your car and your credit card, you should think twice before you put a ring on her finger.
The number one mistake that a financially successful man can possibly make is to marry a materialistic woman.
Seriously, you don’t have to wonder when she eventually files for divorce. Of course she wants a divorce when all she has to do to get a huge part of your money is to walk into the office of a divorce lawyer and to cry one or two crocodile tears.
Find out if she is materialistic BEFORE you agree to marry her. A good test is to tell her that you’ve decided to buy a Porsche. If she says “Honey, that’s awesome! I always wanted to sit in such a car”, you should make sure that she never sits in yours.
9. She Gets Physical
Would you believe me when I tell you that I have a friend whose girlfriend threw him against the wall during an argument? I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
Would you believe me when I tell you that this freaking idiot married the girl who threw him against the wall? I’ve seen the wedding pictures.
When I told my girlfriend about it she just looked at me with the most shocked face a human being can possibly make.
If my girlfriend would ever get physical, no matter if she would hit me or push me, I would end the relationship immediately. This is not only one of the reasons not to get married. This is a reason to never talk to this person again.
If you decide to marry a woman who ever got physical, you lost the right to call yourself a man.
10. She is on Antidepressants
Did you know that one in four women between 40 and 50 are on antidepressants?
I am sure that she will be a great mother during the few minutes she doesn’t cry. I am also sure that you will have a happy and fulfilling relationship with a woman who would kill herself without her medication.
In case you don’t get my sarcasm you might get this:
If a young and beautiful woman takes antidepressants when she is in her twenties, she will take a lot more when she is in her forties!
Sorry, but if you are dumb enough to marry a girl who isn’t able to deal with life without pharmaceutical drugs, not even god can help you. Enjoy the crying, the whining and the pathetic begging when you finally decide to break out of the prison you built for yourself.
Summed Up Wisdom
I am not against marriage, but if you haven’t found a girl who is marriage material you should think twice before you put a ring on her finger. If your partner has been raised in a Western country she knows that marriage means power and that it is the smartest thing she can do when she turns 30. Oh, and prepare yourself for a ridiculously expensive wedding.
If she sees the main characters in Sex and the City as role models and if she has spent the majority of her life in a Western country, asking her for her hand is definitely a mistake. A girl who wants to live a fulfilled life as a wife doesn’t cheat, doesn’t think about a divorce and doesn’t need antidepressants to not fall from the alter.
If she is a materialistic ex party girl who tends to get physical during arguments, you shouldn’t allow her to urge you to get married. Those are all reasons not to get married. And think twice before you marry a woman who is much older than you. Eventually reality will catch up to you.
Find a woman that’s in for a cohabitation. If you can’t, then keep waiting for her.
Sebastian Harris says
that’s why I like serial monogamy
Hi Sebastian! Your article really opened my eyes and confirmed a lot of my doubts about the institution of marriage. I am about to enter college with the intention of hooking up with various girls and getting FWBs. I have been single all my life but I am very confident and attractive and have had no problem getting girls to like me. I could get a girl if I wanted to but I don’t really want one (at least not right now). I agree with your points and I have no intention of ever getting married. It’s a sh*t deal for men that’s all risk and no reward and I know for a fact that a lot of couples either divorce or are bored/unhappy. I don’t want to end up like that! Anyway, I wanted to ask you about your stance on cohabitation. How do you feel about it? Being in a committed, long term relationship without marriage, and without all of the legal complications and social stigma? If I get into a relationship that’s as far as I would be willing to go because of the large risk of getting royally screwed by the law in a divorce (I live in the United States for clarity). Do you think it’s a better alternative to marriage or do you think otherwise? Thanks again.
Sebastian Harris says
that’s one of the most awesome and honest comments I got. Thank you so much!
I am a woman and totally agree…
My husband was married twice before me. His first wife he met when she was only 17. She was vain, materialistic and just looking for a fairytale. She played the nice girl long enough to get him to marry her (6 years). She expected him to pay all the bills, fund expensive trips and her social outings (even though she had a job). When he went broke and couldn’t deliver anymore Facebook fodder (things to impress her friends and family with),she turned into a psycho. She also gained a ton of weight, wouldn’t cook, wouldn’t clean, used sex as a weapon and controlled every aspect of his life. He divorced her after 4 years of marriage and 10 years together total.
His second wife was looking for a situation. She was living in Brazil (his native country); she was in her early thirties, never married and had no prospects for marriage. She learned that he was divorced and coerced him into a relationship from afar. She abandoned her daughter to come here, pressured him into marriage and then turned into yet another fat, lazy, entitled psycho. He divorced her after only 3 months of marriage.
Now me… I cook, I clean, I don’t nag him. I weigh exactly the same as I did when we met despite giving birth to twins. I stay at home with our children and I let him be a man. I listen to him when he speaks, I spend his money in a very thrifty way (I am not going to waste money I didn’t earn). I let him have his space when he needs it. I accept him for what he is and vice versa. Lastly, I love having sex with him and give it to him anytime he wants it… I’m feminine. I don’t emasculate him in any way. It really is a beautiful relationship…
The only thing I can say to his sad, lonely ex’s: You missed out on a wonderful, beautiful man.
I am in total agreement with you… My husband has been married twice before me. I actually met his second wife (because she was Facebook stalking me and I confronted her).
His first wife was just looking for a fairytale. She was very beautiful and young when he met her. They dated for several years, married and she turned into a huge bitch, gained a ton of weight and demanded he pay for everything (even though she had a job), wanted him to fund trips and all of her social outings… When he went broke and couldn’t deliver her Facebook fodder (things to post to dazzle her friends and family with),she turned psycho. He left her after 4 years of marriage and 10 years together total.
His second wife was seeking a situation. She was in her early thirties, never married and feeling that biological burn… She lived in Brazil (his native country); she abandoned her daughter to come to the states, pressured him into marriage, and then turned into a psycho. After 3 months of marriage, he put her on a plane and sent her home.
Now me… I stay at home with our children. I cook, I clean, I support and nurture him the way a man should be. I accept him for what he is and vice versa. I spend his money sparingly, I listen to him (actually listen and don’t interrupt), and lastly I love having sex with him and give it to him whenever (and I mean WHENEVER) he approaches me. It really is a beautiful relationship.
All I can say to his lonely ex’s: You really, REALLY missed out on a great life.
Sebastian Harris says
Do you love her? It’s your decision.
James Tong says
I’m currently seeing this girl that wants me to put her “in top priority”. And we aren’t even dating yet! Rather than directly telling me about herself (she lives in 1500km south of me), she sends me multiple articles and youtubes at a time for me to go over and comment on and complains when I haven’t done so in 2 or 3 days.
Should I go for her, or does the question not apply since this article is about marrying somebody you’ve already been dating? Understandably, we are both 40 and she is more rushed than me. Some people say she is too controlling while others say to just go ahead and date and see how it goes.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks for your feedback. I’m definitely not against marriage. I just want to help guys to not make any rash decisions with the wrong woman.
Hey. Your article made a few good points such as not marrying someone because they pressure or hurt you, but I just wanted to point out that a woman’s fertility doesn’t drop until she hits menopause and there is no 50/50 chance of down syndrome. True, the chances of a birth defect double after 40, but it goes from 0.5% to 1%. Also, I think it’s important to remember that you should support a woman having dreams of a fulfilling career as much as she supports yours. Work-family balance is difficult for both genders, but if you ask me it is well worth the effort. My best marriage advice is that you should be marrying your best friend with sex privileges. Anyway, you have excellent passions and some pretty good advice here. Keep up the excellent work!
I’m confused. So you want a girl who isn’t after your money, but at the same time she’s not allowed a career that’s she’s passionate about and earns her money?
I definitely agree with some of your points — especially the “materialistic” point. However there is one I disagree with. Psychologist informed me today that around 80% of people in society have a mental illness, which a lot of goes undiagnosed. The brain is very complex and I believe it to be naive to judge a person based on a health issue, especially with such a high percentage of our OECD population who already do suffer. Perhaps some people prefer to mask the fact something is deeply wrong with them, and pretend like they’re strong, when in reality instead of being diagnosed with depression in their 20s and used methods to help themselves, they’re hanging in your closet at 45yrs, leaving you with 3 children to raise by yourself.
Threre is a lot of strength in diagnosis, and I find people who have a mental illness tend to be more compassionate, empathetic, less narcissistic and less closed minded than their counterparts. Obviously this a broad generalisation, but it’s what I’ve personally witnessed.
Also postpartum depression is a nasty, yet common illness which effects both new mothers and fathers. If she’s crying in amongst looking after your young children, writing her off as weak and pathetic is absolutely naive and idiotic. If you truly respected and loved the mother of your children, you would understand that PTSD and other mental illnesses indeed follow a birth due to an emmence change of hormones, a traumatic birth, overwhelming change of environment etc. If left undiagnosed, postpartum depression can turn into postpartum psychosis. I know of an Indian woman who jumped off a bridge with her baby due to being scorned for having postpartum depression. Because of this, voices in her head told her to end her and her child’s life.
Please understand that if you choose not to be with someone because they have a mental health condition, it’s probably best if you remain single because a mental illness can affect anyone, no matter their gender, age or financial status.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks for your feedback. my ex-girlfriend had two horses 😀
Fantastic article, but you left out a MAJOR red flag!! Never get involved with a girl who’s into horses!!! The most immature, selfish, self centered, financially irresponsible people I’ve ever came across. Disgusting is probably the best way to sum them up. They expect praise in every aspect of there life, all hell broke loose when I made her throw 30 garbage of trash out of her 1 bedroom apartment, and the litter box in the closet, when she hadn’t had a cat in 3 years. I’m shopping for rings, and am expected to pay for the wedding, move her into my house, share my investments, (I grew up farming, so been working since I was 4-5 yrs old). And she broke up with me after 5 yrs b/c she decided kids would be a burden, and horses are more important than family or wife responsibility’s. I’m 39 and proud of never knocking up some girl out of wedlock or being divorced. I taught her to cook, clean, laundry etc.. But I’m controlling and abusive b/c when she made crappy food or did a half ass job of cleaning I didn’t tell her how wonderful a job she did. But it’s ok to spend all your money on horse crap, have zero savings, and cry when your lies are exposed. I know there are good women somewhere, (not in Cleveland), my friend!
Sebastian Harris says
it’s better to end a relationship that makes you unhappy than to take the next step and make yourself even more unhappy.
You are right. I just broke up with my Girl Friend because of her wrong priorities.
Sebastian Harris says
Not necessarily, but being extremely career focused doesn’t leave a lot of room for the family.
The Honest Truth says
Well if she has a Career it would be a very bad thing since it will make her very Greedy And Selfish like Most women are these days.
Sebastian Harris says
she should have her own income and career, but having the wrong priorities can destroy a relationship
It is very difficult to marry a woman with a Career since many of them will only want the Best of all and will Never settle for Less which so many of us men do have a girlfriend that now have their Careers since it is really all about them.
Sebastian Harris says
I am glad it did.
Great article sir! It has opened my eyes!
Sebastian Harris says
You are welcome!
Gary Sherwin says
Thank you for another great article!
Sebastian Harris says
it really hurts to read your words. I am sorry for the situation you are in, but I want to say thank you for sharing your negative experience with us. As I said, there is nothing wrong with marrying, as long as you marry the right girl…
Hi. I’m Phillip in South Africa. I got married to her in 2005 – the same evening she changed from being a nice girl to a blood thirsty dragon.
I even asked her :’ is this the reason why you pushed me into this marriage?’!
We met in June 1998 and in December 1998 through a tip-off I caught her NAKED, kissing a guy in his house on his bed .
I became Malcom-X to that guy, I asked him to stay away from my future wife. She also apologized. I forgave her.
Thinking she learned from her mistakes we got married in 2005 and now we have 3 kids . One day after an argument she told me in the eye that, that guy was good in SEX than I.
Recently after an argument she went outside our house to tell my friends and her friend that I have a small penis and she’s not satisfied in sexually. And now she files for a divorce. The bitch never worked in her entire life – I bought houses, I bought cars I educate children , I feed all of them. Now she demands extra cash from me.
To all MEN, please don’t be blindfolded by love feelings . Be very cautious before signing that contract. Unless you are prepared to work for a bitch.
None of these reasons are shocking. First, the wedding day is the bride’s day. She makes the big entrance and all the groom has to do is hit his mark, say his line, get off the stage, and not ruin the bride’s big moment.
Then years later, when everything falls apart, the now ex-wife gets a boatload of cash in the form of alimony and child support for a kid that’s not the husband’s. Yeah, a ton of guys are lining up that hosing.
Of course i was talking about giving some of my time and being emotionnaly supportive, i never gave money to a woman (exept “professionals”).
ok thank you.
Sebastian Harris says
being emotionally supportive is absolutely fine, being financially supportive can backfire.
Sue, you shouldn’t generalize Asian women. Thai girls and Japanese girls are like day and night.
3 : yes, but i Wonder if being supportive BEFORE sex isn’t something which put you in the FZ, because she thinks that you are avaliable for her anyway.
I’m the kind of guy who go from on IOI to an other, each time i invest time to help the girl, each time i get dump. It just happened again.
4 : yes, still, it seems that in korea and japan women are very focus on work insteed of their family, look at the birth rate.
Sebastian Harris says
3. Being nice is not the problem (see my latest article)
4. They work hard but they stay feminine
” .They can stop sleeping with you, they can stop taking care of their looks and they can stop to be the loving and charming girl that they used to be. Hell, they can even cheat on you ” well if you are a good lover and seducer, and if you chosed one who value family, she has no reason to do it.
” get a divorce and still get the kids and a huge amount of your hard-earned money.” yeah, that’s the reason why marriage and traditional family is collapsing, since the legalisation of divorse (which of course was a good thing in itself), the deal for men is not fair. Family courts need to change radicaly their Policy. I even think that they should be shut down. The gov should be out of the marriage.
” 1.Individualism is worth more than family structure and a supportive relationship. Be as individual as possible and don’t allow a man to change you! ” So if during the dating process you prove that you can be supporting by helping the girl on some things, that’s a good thing on your point of view ? (some say that being supportive is a nice guy attitude)
” 3.A stressful management position that eventually leads to a burn out and a mental breakdown is the road to female fulfillment. Having a family is just a burden. ” Isn’t right that Asians are even more like that ? most of the ones i know work very hard…