Loud music, flashy lights and a mixture of sweat and vomit on the floor…
It’s time to pick up girls in the club.
Today we are going to leave all the beautiful girls alone who are walking up and down the shopping streets. Like vampires we try to avoid the brought daylight and we only leave the house once the sun went down. It is time to hit the clubs and to rub our bodies against some beautiful, tipsy and very horny party girls.
Before you get overly enthusiastic I have to tell you the truth. It’s not that I hate clubs, but I also don’t particularly like them. I mean, I don’t drink alcohol, I can’t stand drunk chicks and after every night out my ears are buzzing like a broken flute.
However, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t had one or two one night stands after I approached and successfully seduced crazy party girls who had enough gas in the tank to ride me all night long. Heck, I even ended up in a two months affair/fling/mini relationship with a girl I met at a club.
In fact, my success rate in clubs is higher than the one of many self-proclaimed party playboys. Please allow me to show you why.
What You Have to Know About Picking Up Girls in a Club
Thanks to one of my readers who sent me an email in which he asked me to write an article about how to pick up girls in a club, I am going to reveal all the steps you need to follow if you want to get a girl directly from the club into your bedroom.
But before I reveal all the dos’s and don’ts that you have to consider in the shark tank that people call club, I want to share a few truths about clubs that you have to understand BEFORE you throw yourself in the fray.
Even though the way I approach girls in a club is not that different from the way I approach girls at other venues (at least when you compare it with the guys who claim that club game is 100% different than street game) you shouldn’t ignore the following things.
The Competition is Huge
How many guys do you know who are able to walk up to a girl in broad daylight, give her a genuine compliment and take her number?
Besides the guys I know from the seduction community I can count a handful of guys who are able to walk up to a girl without shitting their pants. I am quite sure that there are not so many guys in your social circle who have the balls to do this. Yep, you are a unique little snowflake 😉
How many guys do you know who get pissed drunk, approach a girl in a club and make out with her while their friends film it with the intention to upload the slobbering on YouTube?
I am sure that you know more guys who would do this than who would approach a woman on the street. The weird thing about clubs and dating is that the same guys who are able to approach girls in clubs aren’t able to do the same thing on the street.
Well, in our messed up society it is more socially acceptable to make out with a drunk girl in a miniskirt while listening to bitches and bottles, than to say “hi” to a girl who is walking on the street.
Of course the fact that a lot of men tend to swallow as much alcohol aka liquid courage as they can contributes to the widespread perception that hitting on girls in clubs makes more sense than at other venues.
The unfortunate result is that the competition doesn’t sleep at night.
It happened a few times that a girl who I approached on the street told me that this never happened before. I never heard the same line from a girl in a club.
The competition in clubs is huge and I think you can already imagine the consequence…
She Gets Approached Every Few Seconds
A woman in a club is like an innocent lamb in a sea full of piranhas. She gets approached left and right and as a result she has programmed her brain to reject everyone who comes near her. Don’t worry, I’ll later show you how you can circumvent this reflex.
For now it is important that you understand that the average girl gets approached at least three times a night. The last time I was in a club with one of my female friends who looks average to beautiful, she saw herself forced to reject nine guys.
The bad news is that the woman you are going to approach in a club has already been approached by more guys than she could possibly handle in one night.
The good news is that most of those guys let the alcohol instead of their brain cells speak.
Once you know how to approach girls in clubs, which you will after you have read this article, you have nothing to worry about.
She Knows that You Want to Get Laid
I don’t want to destroy your illusion, but every girl you talk to in a club knows that you talk to her because you want to get laid. I haven’t yet met a woman who was naïve enough to believe that a guy who talks to her in a nightclub has the goal to take her for brunch the next morning.
The fact that the cute girl you are talking to knows that you just want to pull her pants down and bang her from behind might freak you out. It shouldn’t.
You have more reason to be proud that to freak out.
If she talks to you, smiles at you and touches you while she knows that you just talk to her because you want to taste her delicious pussy juice, she can’t wait until she finally sits on your face.
Before we are diving into how to pick up girls in a club and how to NOT do it, I want to share some drunk female advice on this topic with you. Just ignore the first ugly girls who demands a drink and listen to the advice of the sweet and beautiful bartender (even though she destroys it with her last words) and the brunettes.
How NOT to Pick Up Girls in a Club
Now you know the truth about approaching and seducing women in clubs. You know that the competition is hard, that you are not the only one who wants to see what’s underneath her skirt and that she knows what you are after.
You know all those things, but do you also know the three mortal sins that the average self-proclaimed pick up artist makes?
In case you have no clue what I am talking about I want to proudly present you three sure ways of how NOT to pick up girls in a club.
Seriously, if you make the following three mistakes I go to a club with you and push you to the fattest girl on the dancefloor.
Ignoring Logistical Problems
Let’s have a look at a few of my personal definitions for logistical problem.
When you want to leave the club with a girl who can’t wait to lie underneath you and you suddenly realize that you came here with your friend who is the only one with a car, you are faced with a logistical problem.
When you talk to a girl who is totally down to fuck and you suddenly realize that your apartment looks like a dumping ground and that your lazy housemate is probably snoring and farting on the couch, you are faced with a logistical problem.
I think you get what I mean and if not I have the following important information for you:
Not every girl dreams about getting banged on a filthy toilet!
Due to the fact that the girl you want to fornicate with might not want to sit on a toilet seat while her naked ass gets dipped in warm pee, you have to make sure that you set up the logistics before you leave the house.
Relying on Liquid Courage
This shouldn’t come as a shock. The fact that you clicked on this article is already proof enough that you are interested in learning how to pick up girls without liquid courage. Congratulations. You are not an alcoholic and you are on the best way to get laid during the after party.
What most guys do as soon as they come up with the idea to approach women in a club is a somehow understandable reaction, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is utterly stupid.
They start to drink and they don’t stop until they have reached a level at which their brain says “I am out, do whatever the fuck you want”.
I understand that alcohol has the power to hide your insecurities and fears, at least as long as this popular drug is in your bloodstream. However, a severe hangover and a high risk to trust a girl when she says “I take the pill” are not the only dangers that you expose yourself to by drinking alcohol.
Once your system is full of liquor, your ability to talk to girls, to connect with them and to become aware of all the subtle indicators of interest they send out go out the window. In addition to that, women hate nothing more than getting approached by another drunk guy who doesn’t have the balls to talk to them in a sober state.
Denying Your Personality
What’s the typical advice that 99% of dating coaches would give you if you would ask them how to approach girls in the club?
Be the life of the party. Talk to everyone. Be high energy. Talk to every single person in a group.
I am going to tell you the opposite.
I mean, if you are an extroverted person and you are always high energy, you love to talk to everyone, inclusive the toilet attendant and you can’t wait to jump around like a squirrel on caffeine, you can of course follow this advice.
If you, however, are an introverted person and the thought of talking to a lot of people makes you want to spew, you shouldn’t follow this advice. I know that I go against the grain by saying this, but I have to say it anyway:
You don’t have to deny your personality to succeed in clubs!
As the introverted person that I am, the girl I want to seduce and in some cases her friend are the only people in the club I talk to.
How to Pick Up Girls in a Club at the Bar
No matter if you are an extroverted break dancer who loves to be the center of attention, or if you are an introverted guy who wants to approach a girl, get to know her and bang the shit out of her without talking to every single one of her friends, you can succeed at this.
Picking up girls at clubs is no sorcery and you don’t need to be a professional dancer to go home with a beautiful girl. All you need to do is to follow a few simple steps that have the power to make every party girl fall for you, even if she has already been approached by ten drunk douchebags.
Have a look at the following steps on how to pick up women at clubs (we start at the bar area) and have a great time while staying true to your personality.
Spot the Girl You Are Interested In
The first step of a successful club seduction is to spot the girl you are interested in. It sounds like the easiest thing in the world, but when you are familiar with the club environment you know that this can be quite tricky.
A lot of girls are there with their boyfriends. I am not a yellowbelly, but if I were you I would avoid hitting on a girl who is standing next to her boyfriend who happens to be drunk and twenty centimeters taller than you. Then there are the girls who are protected by hordes of aggressive (mostly fat) female cockblockers. Last but not least you’ll see the arrogant attention whores who love to tease a guy before they reject them with all their heart.
Picking the right girl in the crowd of tipsy Wooo-girls can be quite difficult.
Scan the room for a girl who looks friendly, not too drunk and who is only surrounded by two instead of eight female bulldozers.
Introduce Yourself FIRST to Her Friends
Now that you have chosen your special Bacardi princess it’s time to walk up to her, to introduce yourself, to connect with her on a level that is deeper than her cocktail glass and to drag her back to your place.
Wait a moment Casanova.
Talking to a girl in a club before you got the green light from her overly protective friends can break your neck.
Depending on the blood alcohol level of her dedicated cockblocker it can literally break your neck.
This is something that so many guys don’t even think about. Once you have the “okay” from her friends you can talk to her as long as you want and if it works really well they will even convince her to go home with you.
All you need to do to get the dreaded cockblocking friends on your side is to be…nice.
Yep, this is the only time in the seduction process when being nice is beneficial. Those girls are trained like bloodhounds to block drunk machos that come near their friend (most of the time the sexiest girl in the group), but they don’t have the same protective instinct with nice guys.
Introduce yourself to them, ask them kindly if you can talk to their friend and be a nice guy. Let them in the belief that you are just a nice guy and that you are nothing to worry about. Once you talk to your tipsy princess you can switch back to the role of the seducer.
Wait Until She has to Pee Like a Racehorse
In case the girl of your neon light dreams is surrounded by ten female friends who look like bull dykes and five guys who could rip you in two pieces, you might want to avoid talking to her friends first. In this case you have to wait.
Sorry, but unless you want to end up in a pleasant (or not so pleasant) conversation with the group, you have to wait till she leaves her herd.
The only time when a girl leaves the group of people she is with is when she has to pee like a racehorse.
I admit that waiting for a girl on the way to the toilet sounds creepy, but that doesn’t change anything about the fact that it is highly effective.
Oh, and one last tip. Wait until she has already been on the toilet and approach her on the way back to the bar. A girl who is right before explosion isn’t usually in the mood to talk to a stranger.
Stay in the Bar Area and Have a Fun Conversation
No matter if you have sweet-talked her friends or if you have used the creepy but effective toilet method to get in contact with her, now it is time to sit down and to have a conversation.
The question is: what do you talk about with a girl you just met in a club?
The answer: about the complete opposite you would talk about when you would meet her on the street.
Even though I am a big fan of deep conversations that include her life purpose, her passion and her ideas to save the planet, I don’t recommend you to go too deep.
The club is not the right place for deep conversation.
It’s a place where you talk about fun, playful and carefree things.
I had to learn this the hard way.
One evening I scared away two girls in a row by trying to talk about deep stuff. Both of them were totally into me, until I started to ask them about their passions in life. If I would have talked about the crappy DJ and the weird guy next to us, I wouldn’t have ended up sleeping alone.
You Don’t Have to Buy Her a Drink
What do 99% of guys who want to pick up a girl in a club do as soon as they and the drunk and hopefully horny girl sat down at the bar?
They ask her what she wants to drink. As soon as the friendly barkeeper, who won’t stop staring at the tits of the lovely lady who sits next to you, hands you the drink you give him the money.
What a brilliant idea, right?
Well, not really. When it comes to dating I have a simple rule and this rule says that I never pay for a girl on a date. I think I am soon going to write an article about the widespread phenomenon that some men believe that buying a woman’s time is a brilliant idea. I don’t do it in cafes and I also don’t do it in clubs. In case you want to live by the same rule you are faced with a problem that our society created for you.
For some reason it seems like a natural think to buy a lady a drink, as soon as she has the kindness to move her ass next to you.
I say: Fuck that rule!
You don’t have to pay for a $19 cocktail to convince a girl to sleep with you. You can invest those $19 dollars in buying the most amazing book of all time and you can still pick up girls in a club without spending a dime. If you don’t want to buy her a drink, don’t do it. Period.
Don’t be Shy! You are Not in a Library
I already told you that talking about deep topics can backfire and that having a fun conversation is way more effective in the club environment. In addition to talking there are a lot of other fun things you can do in a club.
You can pull her closely when you say something, because the music is too loud. You can whisper dirty things in her ear, while you hold her hand. You can hold her close, so that she can hear you better.
A club is not a library, so don’t behave as if you would be in one.
In a club it is socially acceptable to touch a woman during the whole interaction. Don’t think that girls don’t want to enjoy their time in this one venue where society gives them the freedom to be sexual without getting judged for their behavior (at least not too much).
The last thing she wants is to have an uptight conversation with a guy who has the potential to fill her vagina with good feelings and a lot of liquid.
Lead Her From the Club to Your Place (or to the Dancefloor)
You talked for a couple of minutes, she leans towards you whenever you whisper something in her ear and the last time she did that you gave her a passionate kiss on her beautiful lips.
It’s time to close the deal.
The best way to motivate a woman to come back to your place is by letting her nearly no chance to say no. I know that it sounds brutal, but please let me explain. I don’t mean that you should knock her out and drag her back to your place. You are not a freaking caveman. What I mean by “letting her nearly no choice” is that you should stop ask her for the permission to take her home.
Be a leader who leads her to the exit by using his words and actions.
Instead of asking “do you want to come back to my place?” you should rather say “come on; let’s go back to my place”. Instead of walking next to her without knowing if she walks to the exit or to the toilet, you should take her hand and lead her to the exit.
This increases your chances of getting her home. However, I can’t guarantee you a 100% success rate. Maybe she is not ready yet to go home with you. In this case you should take her to the dancefloor and dance closely until she can’t resist the idea of being close to you all night.
How to Pick Up Girls in a Club on the Dancefloor
Now you know how to approach and seduce women in the bar area of a club, but what do you do if you are on the dancefloor with your buddies and you suddenly spot the girl of your dreams?
Besides reminding yourself of the fact that she might not be the girl of your dreams without the dimmed light and the makeup, you should approach her in a way that doesn’t give her a nasty heart attack.
I have to warn you.
The way I pick up girls on the dancefloor is completely different to what other guys have told you.
Before you label my way of picking up women in a club as “hopelessly romantic” and “way too gay”, I want you to test it in field.
It might be hard to believe but it works like magic.
Have a Great Time
Observing guys who are trying to pick up girls on the dancefloor makes me sad. In some cases I seriously thought about walking up to one of those lifeless statues and giving them a knuckle sandwich.
Whenever I am in a club I get the uncomfortable feeling that most guys don’t really understand the definition of a dancefloor. Just to your information, the purpose of a dancefloor is NOT to stand there like an oak wood sculpture and holding your drink as if it was a protective shield while you try to look as cool as possible.
The purpose of a dancefloor is to dance, to have fun and to act goofy whenever a Backstreet Boys song gets played.
When you are dancing and having a great time you will automatically project a fun, playful and confident energy. That’s how you get attention from all the girls who are tired of getting gazed at by human statues who are too tense to move.
Look Me In the Eyes Baby
Once you get lose and start to move to the rhythm of the beat (it doesn’t matter if you can dance or not as long as you have fun), it is time to look out for the girl you want to “approach”. The reason why I use the quotes is because you shouldn’t approach women on the dancefloor in the traditional sense…but more on that later.
As soon as you have spotted the one girl who you have selected as a possible sexual partner for the night and maybe for the rest of your life, it is time to signalize her that you are into her. While women can cross their legs and show their cleavage, you should fall back on another sign.
Hold eye contact and don’t break it until you get a reaction.
In case she rolls her eyes and looks as you as if you were an unworthy piece of shit, you should move on to the next girl. If she, however, smiles at you or looks submissively to the ground like a shy little puppy, it’s time to move on to the next step.
Don’t Even Think About Grabbing Her from Behind
Wait. Not so fast. Before we move on to the next step there is something that I have to get off my chest.
Just because nine out of ten guys grab a girl from behind in order to rub their crotch up and down her ass, back and legs, doesn’t mean that it is a good idea to do that.
It can work if a girl is really drunk and really horny. However, if you plan to sleep with a woman who at least knows in which city she is, you shouldn’t use this creepy way of saying hello. Remember, a woman is a lot smaller than you and if you grab her from behind without even showing your face, she doesn’t know if you are the man of her dreams or the biggest douchebag in the club.
Okay, if you show up from behind without prior warning she will assume that you are a douchebag.
Be Her Knight in Sweaty Armor
In order to not be seen as just another idiot who gets an erection by rubbing his genitals against her cute little butt cheeks, you have to be a bit more creative than your competitors.
Instead of just grabbing a girl and hoping for the best, you might want to think about a way to invite her to dance. A few years ago I used to walk up to girls on the dancefloor before I screamed something in their ears that they could barely understand. I wasn’t very successful with this tactic.
One movie that played in the medieval times should change my perception on how to pick up girls in a club once and for all.
There was a scene in which the knights asked the girls to dance. All they did was to hold out their hand and to wait until the woman placed their hand in theirs.
So I asked myself “if this worked hundreds of years ago, it might work today…”
I was right.
Whenever I try to seduce a girl on the dancefloor, I hold eye contact with her, hold out my hand and wait till she places her hand in mine. Women absolutely love this romantic gesture and the best about it is that nobody else does it.
Get Closer and Go for the Kiss
It’s time to get physical.
When I showed you how to pick up girls in a club at the bar area, I already told you that the ability to touch a girl is a vital aspect of your club game skillset. It gets even more important when you are on the dancefloor.
Personal private space doesn’t mean shit in a club, especially when you are dancing with a girl.
Your goal is to get as close to her as you can. Embrace her, run your hands down her back and don’t be shy to place them right on her delicious ass cheeks.
Once she is comfortable feeling your hands on her butt she is probably also comfortable with a soft kiss.
DON’T Make Out Like a Maniac
Take your tongue back into your mouth!
I know exactly what you want to do. As soon as a girl shows you that she is comfortable with a soft kiss on her lips, you do everything you can to get your tongue in there. If you are one of the guys who think that making out in the club is the best way to get her home I have to tell you that…
…you are wrong.
Don’t be disappointed. Besides a few dating coaches I haven’t yet met one single guy who didn’t believe in the following formula:
Dancing with a girl + making out with her = sex
The shocking truth is that making out might be the fastest way to make her really horny, but it is also the fastest way to release all the sexual tension you built up throughout the interaction. Once she made out with you for a while, the sexual tension will swing back to a normal level.
You want to avoid that at all costs.
Instead of making out with her like a maniac you should give her a few soft kisses and lead her to the exit as soon as you get the impression that she wants more.
Click here and you’ll be able to make it happen at any time
Summed Up Wisdom
If you want to pick up girls in the club without the help of liquid courage you have to understand that the competition in clubs is high, that she gets approached all the time and that she knows that you want to get laid. Don’t make the mistake and ignore logistical problems and don’t rely on alcohol as substitute for your seduction skills. Oh, and you don’t have to deny your personality if you want to be successful in clubs.
The best way to pick up women in the bar area is to walk up to a girl you are attracted to, introduce yourself to her friends and to have a fun conversation. Alternatively, you can wait with your approach until she comes from the bathroom. Instead of paying for a drink you should get physical and lead her to the exit as soon as she is ready to go.
The best way to approach and seduce women on the dancefloor is to have a great time, to hold eye contact and to NOT grab her from behind. Be her knight in shining armor and invite her with your hand. Once you dance with her you can get closer and go or the kiss. Just don’t make out for too long, as it releases the sexual tension that she should release in your bed.
I’m a lot of talk and really the opposite
Sebastian Harris says
Going solo can be a great way to overcome your fears.
am I correct in assuming that going solo to a club/bar really decreases your chances of picking up a girl?
Sebastian Harris says
I usually order just a water or some non-alcoholic beer (the best). She can drink whatever she wants.
When you are out with friends and they are drinking alcohol, what do you drink? or if your girlfriend want to have a drink, what do you drink with her?
Sebastian Harris says
it’s great that you also love to be alcohol free. At some point I just realized that I can have fun and do whatever I want without alcohol (and without the headache and hangover).
Hey Sebastian!! Nice article! i dont frecuent a lot of clubs because I dont drink too much, maybe occasionally, I started drinking more since me and my gf broke up thinking that drinking alcohol would put me in a more fun and more social position, but I was wrong!! I love to be alcohol free and avoid the hanover at all, you basically lose the half of the next day due to the hangover, plus going to bed alone. Its better to seduce sober and as you say, read all the signals without saying whatever stupid thing goes inside your mind. Any reason in particular why you dont drink alcohol? What do you drink in social situations where everyone is drinking alcohol or clubs?