The disturbing white knight experience I want to share with you today happened…today.
It’s 4 o’clock in the night and I can’t go to bed without writing down what I just experienced. Not because I am shocked or devastated about what happened.
I want to write down today’s experience because I feel sorry for the guy I met. I feel sorry for him because I know that he doesn’t really want to be the kind of guy he pretends to be. I feel sorry for him because he sees lying as his only chance to get some pussy.
It gives me the creeps to know that another man has been infected with a virus that is spreading all over the Western hemisphere. It is sad to look in the eyes of a man who believes that stabbing another man in the back will get him laid.
What kind of man did I meet tonight that deserves the labels liar, pretender, faker and bullshitter?
I met a white knight.
For those of you who have no freaking idea what a white knight is, allow me to define this modern phenomenon:
A white night is a man who rushes to aid of every female who seems to be in distress. He then acts like a sympathetic nice guy who tries to save the poor female victim. Even though he pretends to save her because he is such a good guy, the real reason is that he hopes to get in her panties once she recognizes him as her savior.
He believes in the following equation:
Rescue woman + pretending to care about woman = sex with woman
What a white knight doesn’t realize is that the equation looks much more like this:
Rescue woman who doesn’t want to get rescued + woman sees right through you = friend zone until the end of days
Today I met such a disillusioned shadow of a man and the only reason why I want to share my experience with you is because I want to prevent you from becoming like him…
I don’t visit my friends and family very often, but when I do, it’s always a hell of a lot of fun. My friends are amazing. Last time we spent a crazy night in a strip club (yes, he is still married) and this time we decided to hit the biggest club in town.
Due to the fact that one of my friends enthusiastically asked me if I can show him how to pick up girls on the dance floor, my hot chicks radar was on as soon as we arrived at the club. I meticulously scanned the room to find him a beautiful companion.
One hour after we arrived my shy and introverted friend was making out with a smoking hot girl who obviously tried to swallow his tongue while he was squeezing her butt cheeks. It wasn’t the most romantic scene I ever witnessed, but I was definitely proud of myself and of what he achieved.
He had fun soaking up the saliva of this beauty and my other friend already had the same alcohol level as he had in the strip club a couple of weeks earlier. In other words, he was lying in the corner and babbling some gibberish while he gave himself high fives. Looking at him made me remember why I love him so much…and why I don’t drink any alcohol.
Everyone was either drunk or sexually active. I was still alone.
The Beauty and The Beast
I decided to explore the club and its women, but first I went to the bar and got myself a non-alcoholic beer.
Nope, not getting wasted, not destroying your liver and not needing liquid courage to feel “confident” are NOT gay.
Anyways, I was still alone and I wanted to change that. I did a great job spotting the right girl for my friend, who by now already had his fingers under her skirt, so I thought it must be possible to find the right girl for me.
I went into room number one. There was nothing for my taste. I went into room number two. There was also nothing for…
Wait a second.
“She looks incredible!”
I don’t remember if I said this out loud or not, but it was true. The moment I saw her, my heart started beating. While a lot of men falsely interpret a beating heart as anxiety, I know that it’s just Moher Nature who uses this simple physical reaction as a way to signalize my brain that my eyes see an attractive female.
I listened to my heart and it screamed:
“Approach her, approach her, approach her!”
Thanks to my heart I walked up to her, told her that she is the most beautiful woman in the club and looked into her shining and smiling face. Her energy was invigorating.
We instantly connected. We laughed about some stupid jokes, we made fun of the chain smokers who were standing in the corner suffering from asthma attacks and we talked about how much we both hated clubs and that kind of music where two minutes of “umz umz umz” has one “pa pow” in it.
It seemed as if she really enjoyed my politically incorrect jokes. When I found out that she was Mexican I couldn’t stop myself from making jokes that contained burritos, borders and Donald Trump. She couldn’t stop laughing and countered with some pretty good Hitler jokes.
We had a really good time and I was looking forward to a night of fun. Unfortunately, a sexually frustrated white knight who was standing right behind me had other plans.
After I joked that she would look incredibly sexy with nothing but a sombrero, the guy I didn’t even notice turned around and brawled “what did you just say?”
We both stopped laughing.
Don’t You See The Obvious?
“Do you know what you are?” he said.
“A green alien with big red eyes and a 40 cm penis” I answered.
My beautiful senorita laughed out loud while he rolled his eyes, looked at me as if he wanted to cut my throat and said:
“You are an offensive asshole. You’re racist jokes are not funny. They are fucking offensive. The way you treat her is so disrespectful!”
“Are you Mexican?” I said.
My Senorita couldn’t stop laughing and the guy with the angry face couldn’t stop himself from getting even angrier.
What he did next blew my mind and made me question the existence of intelligent life. He seriously asked the beautiful lady who was still laughing about my responses if he should call the bouncers, because I obviously molested her with my offensive statements.
Sorry, but this guy deserves a…
The beautiful girl who was amused by my politically incorrect jokes got serious and tried to convince him that she is okay, that she doesn’t want any help and that she is not offended at all. I just stood there shaking my head and looking for a hidden camera.
I really thought one of you guys (let me know if it was you) was playing a prank on me. I expected one of those hidden camera pranks where they scream “it’s a prank, it’s a prank!” right before you kick them in the nuts.
But there was no camera. This guy didn’t have a YouTube channel (also let me know if I am on YouTube). He was just a picture-perfect white knight. He was the whitest white knight I have met in my entire life.
“Dude, don’t you see the obvious? I am just joking and this beautiful lady is enjoying my company. Could you please leave us alone?”
I tried it in German, in English and in Thai, but he didn’t want to listen.
He continued his monologue about racial equality, offensive stereotypes and all kind of other gibberish that the Politically Correctness officer from South Park would be proud of. While he did this he constantly smiled at the beautiful woman next to me in the hope that she would be proud of him for being such a brave savior.
She just looked at me in the hope that I am going to save her from this weirdo who tried to save her from me.
You Can Blame Me And I Pity You
I could have gotten angry. I could have screamed at him. I could have pushed him away. I did none of those things.
Do you know why?
Whenever I am in a situation in which an insecure and most likely very lonely and sexually frustrated man tries to get a girl’s attention by lying and by putting other men down, I think about my old self.
I’ve never done this, but I could have easily ended up like this guy.
I could have had the wrong friends. I could have read the wrong blogs. I could have listened to the wrong people.
That’s why it is so important to me to write this down, even though my eyes are already burning and the last time I looked at the clock it showed 5 am. I don’t want you to lie and to put other men who are on the same journey as you are on down, because you hope that this poisonous behavior will finally get you laid.
I want you to understand that becoming a white knight is NOT the answer. I want you to understand that lying and lowering other people’s value, no matter if it’s the value of your competitor or the value of the woman you are interacting with, is NOT the answer.
Here’s what I said to Mister White Knight:
“You can blame me as much as you want, but I can only pity you. I know why you put me down. You want her to think that I am bad and you are good, because you can’t stand the thought that I have a great time with a girl that you are attracted to, a girl that should be talking to you, not to me. Am I right? Deep down you know that everything you said against me is a lie that only serves your own interest and we both know what you are really interested in. I know who you are. What makes me sad is that you don’t know it.”
He just looked at me completely baffled and I could see the tiny tear in his left eye that he vigorously tried to suppress.
She just looked at me completely baffled and I could see the tiny tear in her right eye that she vigorously tried to suppress.
She already realized it the moment he turned towards us for the very first time.
He realized it now.
Have you ever been a white knight?