How Going to a Strip Club Taught Me to Be a Lover

One of my best friends just got married and yes, we spent his last night in freedom in a room with naked girls who dance for money.

I know that going to a strip club is probably the most uncreative idea for a stag night, but who cares.

His now-wife was cool with it, we had a lot of fun and we brought him home in a way that allowed him to remember that he had to be at a wedding the next day. Considering the amount of alcohol he drank we were actually glad that he didn’t puke in her mouth when it was time to kiss the bride.

However, I don’t write down this story to tell you about the awesome time I had slapping a cute stripper’s ass after giving her $20. I also don’t write down this story to show you pictures or videos of sexy girls in a strip club.

Ah, whatever. The following ass is just too beautiful to withhold it from you. Let’s make it rain!

Do you want to date hot strippers like the ones in the video?

I tested THESE seduction techniques with a hot stripper…

Okay, where was I?

Oh yeah, I remember. I wanted to tell you the purpose of this article. Well, the reason why I decided to write this article right after I washed all the vanilla perfume and champagne from my body is the very interesting conversation that I had with one of the girls.

By now you already know that I am a weirdo, so it shouldn’t come to a surprise that I didn’t waste my time throwing money around and gazing at asses that are quite expensive to touch. Instead of doing what everyone else is doing when they are going to a strip club, I decided to test the stereotype that all strippers are money-hungry hoes and prostitutes in disguise.

Even though I can’t deny that there are for sure some strippers who are all about the Benjamins, I actually learned a lot from the conversation I had with one of the girls. That’s why I decided to share the conversation that I had with a girl who called herself Stella and who works as a stripper since 2009.

Even though her beautiful ass and her delicious perfume are responsible for a few missing words, I can remember most of our conversation.

While we were in an environment that was made for men losing all their cash and women shaking their asses in order to get that cash, this honest stripper reminded me of the fact that women don’t respect men who use money as a substitute for confidence and skills.

From a Lap Dance to a Deep Conversation

After traveling through South East Asia and all over Eastern Europe it was an indescribable feeling to see my friends again. We hadn’t seen each other in months and all we wanted to do was to have a great time in a crazy place.

she was breathtaking

We ordered one lap dance after another for our soon-to-be husband and while one of my friends spent all his cash on getting drunk to a point where he told me that the two girls in front of him are the sexiest creatures he has ever seen, even though nobody was standing there, I saw this whole experience as an interesting field test.

Instead of slapping asses, I wanted to learn something.

When the first girl offered me a lap dance and I refused, she told me that I am a stupid asshole. What a nice person. When the second girl came up to me with the same offer and I refused again, she told me that she doesn’t deal with broke guys. What a nice gold digger.

When the third girl walked up to me and I refused her offer, she sat down next to me and said “okay, maybe later.”

I looked her into the eyes and I could see that she didn’t fulfill the money-hungry hoe stereotype. I don’t want to sound esoteric, but the eyes of a woman reveal a lot about her personality. She had honest eyes and I was honestly interested in getting to know her and her opinion.

While our husband was busy gazing at the two asses that were twerking in front of him, I turned towards the beautiful African lady next to me, looked her into the eyes and asked her a simple, yet powerful question:

“Why do you sit next to me and the other girls don’t?”

She didn’t expect that, but her answer revealed the true reason.

“Because I am different than the other girls” she said with a smile and a strong Nigerian accent.   

I was more than ready to learn one or two lessons from a girl who made a living by selling men an illusion.

Why She Respected Me More Than the Others

“Tell me, why do you sit next to me when you could earn at least $50 by pretending to be in love with that fat guy in the corner?” (I actually pointed to the fat guy, who got very uncomfortable)

She loved that I was aware of the fact that it’s all just an illusion. She then told me that it is somehow nice to sit next to a guy who doesn’t have the “dance for me” eyes. When I asked her what she means with “dance for me eyes” she was reluctant to tell me what she meant.

“You know, that glimmer in the eyes that guys have who…who…you know”.

I told her that I didn’t know. Then I said something that made her completely speechless.

“Do you mean the eyes that scream I have money and I can do with you whatever I want? Do you mean the eyes that scream I don’t have what it takes to touch women without paying them? Do you mean the eyes that scream I have to use money to get attention and without the money I am nothing?”

She just looked at me with big eyes and an open mouth. What I just said resonated so much with her experiences that she said “yes, yes, yes…haha…yes!” without realizing that she was louder than the music. For one second my drunk friend two couches next to me opened his eyes before he fell asleep again. That’s how loud she agreed with me.

“Gosh, you are absolutely right. Most men who come here have a lot of money, but no self-esteem. Some of them admit that they come here for the bit of attention that we give them, but most of them deny that. They talk themselves into believing that they are real man, because they can buy women. In my eyes they are just little boys who have enough cash to buy us as toys to make themselves feel less worthless.”

Now it was me who was speechless.

Those girls know exactly that they have more power than their clients. They just have to give them the feeling to be in power and boom…they give all their power away aka their hard-earned money.

The desperate attempt to hide your insecurities by making it rain

“My clients might get my ass for a few moments, but they will never get my respect.”

I then asked her what a guy has to do to get her respect.

She just smiled at me, sipped on her drink and told me what a man has to do to get a woman’s respect.

Why Having Money Is Not a Skill

“The guys that come here think that their money is the proof that they are real men. They think that buying a few lap dances and having a girl sitting on their lap is a sign of manliness. Well, it would be if that girl would sit on his lap because she wants to and not because she gets paid to do it. They think they know all about women by throwing money at us. They know nothing. They don’t know…”

Is this how you feel when you see a beautiful woman in the street?

I interrupted her and finished her thoughts by saying that “they don’t know how to communicate with women. They don’t know how to connect with women. They don’t know how to arouse women. They don’t know how to love women. They…”

Now she interrupted me and said “because they don’t love women. That’s the biggest problem those guys have. Some of them even hate women. I feel sorry for them. They pretend to be strong while they wave with their dollar notes, but if they would meet me on the street they would be too scared to even look at me.”

She was absolutely right.

When I looked around in the room I saw a bunch of insecure guys who were grabbing girl’s asses, throwing money at them and ordering them around as if they were the kings of the world. Through my years of experience in the dating game I could see that all of those guys tried to hide their insecurities, their fears and their self-doubt by overcompensating.

It was somehow comparable to aspiring pick up artists who use neggs to lower the value of women in the hope to increase their chances and weird pick-up lines to avoid an honest and authentic conversation.

The similarities between men who are regularly going to a strip club and aspiring pick up artists who end up on the wrong path was astonishing.

Before I could finish this thought, the owner of the club gave her a sign that she wasted enough time with me without getting paid for it.

I smiled at her and asked her “do I have to buy you a drink now?”

She just smiled back and said “only if you want me to lose my respect for you”

Now I ask YOU:

Do you want her to lose respect for you or do you want her to see you as her lover?