You want to know how to approach girls because…
You can see the future. You don’t have a crystal ball, but you know what’s going to happen. Tomorrow you’ll walk down the street and then you see her. She’s beautiful….absolutely stunning. Your heart starts racing.
You want to talk to this woman.
You stare after her while she walks past you. She smiles at you and you want to say something. But you can’t. You freeze. You don’t know what to say and your hands are shaking. You allow the woman of your dreams to walk away.
You know you’ll never see her again.
Have you ever been in this situation?
It’s okay. You can admit it. I’ve been in this situation so many times. And that’s exactly why I decided to write this guide for you. I want you to be prepared for the war. I want you to step on the battlefield and win the battle.
That’s why you have to know:
Follow this step-by-step guide and you’ll become an approaching machine…
How to Approach Girls: Step-by-Step Guide
“Approaching girls is so easy.”
That’s what everyone kept telling me. But I didn’t know how. And whenever I had the courage to do it, I messed up. Heck, I didn’t even try it when the girl I wanted to talk to wasn’t alone. Her friends seemed like scary zombies from the underworld.
And I was getting rejected left and right.
Today I know that running up to women like a chicken without a head was not the best idea…
1. Put Yourself in the Approaching Mood
Where did I go wrong?
Well, I wasn’t prepared. I walked up to girls with sweaty hands and a feeling of “I have to puke”. My mind was racing and my thoughts were torturing me. I was prepared for failure and the women could smell it.
Here’s what I should have done:
Hell, I’m not a big fan of affirmations, but it’s better to say “I can do it, I can do it” to yourself than to walk up to a girl with the thought “I’m an unworthy piece of shit”. Unfortunately, I did neither of these things for way too long.
Nowadays, I think about my mood before I think about approaching girls.
2. Correct Your Body Language When You Spot Her
Your body language sucks.
I’m sorry, but it’s (probably) true. Most of my one-on-one coaching clients have this problem. They show up to a coaching session and look like a sack of potatoes. Don’t get me wrong. They are motivated and ready for the battle.
The problem is that they look as if they have already lost the war.
They book a coaching with me because they want to learn how to approach girls. But first, they have to learn how to walk up to a girl like a man. This is important because the right body language makes you look more attractive. And it makes you feel more confident.
Here’s what you need to do:
You’ll feel like a king walking up to his princess…or the dragon.
3. Feel Your Approach Anxiety and Do it Anyway
What if you’re hands are shaking like mine?
You have two options.
You either do it or you don’t do it. It’s really that simple. You either walk up to the girl and approach her DESPITE your fear…or you don’t do it, walk away like a sad puppy and feel like shit for the rest of your day.
“But Sebastian, I have approach anxiety.”
Yes, I know. I had the same fear, the same doubt, and the same insecurities. I had to take a bootcamp and you might have to take a one-on-one coaching with me. But maybe you don’t. Maybe you can break down the wall you’ve build yourself with pure determination.
Do you want to know the secret to success?
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
4. Walk Up to Her with a Smile on Your Face
“Be alpha” can be terrible advice.
I say that it can be, not that it has to be. Yes, alpha male traits are important. Women are attracted to leaders, to decisive men, and men who live life on their own terms. All these qualities define alpha males.
But there’s a dark side.
A lot of guys misunderstand the concept of being alpha. They read something online and believe that they have to walk like a Terminator and talk like a robot. What about emotions? That’s for pussies, not for alpha men!
That’s dangerous…and a bit stupid.
Believe it or not, but smiling is more important than being alpha. Think about it. She’s a tiny woman. You’re a big man. She doesn’t know whether or not you’re a crazy psychopath. But if you’re too alpha, she’ll assume it.
You better make her believe that you’re NOT a crazy serial killer.
5. Run After Her if You Have to
What if she walks really fast?
Nobody said that smiling and running can’t go hand in hand. In fact, it’s even better to run after a girl. Just think about it. You run to talk to her. Meeting her is THAT important to you. I run after girls all the time and the results speak for themselves.
“You ran all the way just to talk to me?”
Women love it when you run after them, stop them completely exhausted, and say “I had to take this chance.” That’s like a scene from a Hollywood movie. It’s freaking romantic. But most guys are afraid to do it.
“She’s already too far away…”
I have to laugh whenever a guy makes this excuse because it’s never true. I mean, I’ve done it too. I said “she’s too far away” when she was right in front of me. Remember, the next girl you see could be the woman of your dreams.
Run after your future girlfriend. Run Forrest, run!
6. Make Sure That She Sees Your Face
Let’s say you really run after her.
That’s great. But please don’t make the classic beginner mistake. Do not, under no circumstance, run after her and talk to her BEFORE she sees you. This is the worst mistake you can possibly make. Unfortunately, a lot of guys do it.
There’s only one thing that’s even worse:
You run after her, start talking before she sees you AND tap her on the shoulder. That’s the ultimate nuclear meltdown. Remember my psychopath example? Good, because now she really thinks you are one.
Here’s how to do it right:
Make sure that she sees you before you start talking.
But hey, you’ll be fine as long as you don’t tap her shoulder.
7. Shake Her Hand Like a Soft PUA
Aren’t pickup artists strong and fearless?
Not all of them. But even if you’re a strong and fearless seducer, you have to remember one thing. She’s a precious and fragile woman…unless you approach Ronda Rousey. But I assume you don’t do that because you want to keep your nutsack.
Anyway, you have to hold her hand.
Here are the hand-shaking rules for professional seducers:
One, eye contact, two, let go of her hand…and slowly open your mouth.
8. Make Her Smile with a Compliment
What do you say?
I get this question a lot. Everyone wants to know what to say next. A lot of guys expect some magic pickup line that solves all there problems. You know, this one line that makes her smile, giggle, and wet at the same time.
First, the bad news:
This magic pickup line doesn’t exist, even though other dating gurus try to sell it to you.
Now the good news:
You can give her the perfect compliment.
It just has to be personal. Look at her style, observe how she walks, notice the cute dimples in her face…now turn this information into a compliment. Don’t just say “you look hot”. That’s lame. Make it as personal as possible.
That’s how you make a woman smile.
9. Be Indirect in Situations with High Social Pressure
“But Sebastian, what about the indirect approach?”
You’re here because you want to know how to approach a girl. So you probably know the difference between the direct and the indirect approach. In case you forgot it: Indirect means that you don’t approach her with a compliment but with something more, well, indirect.
Always go direct unless you are in an environment with high social pressure. Let’s say you’re in a train or at a social event. In these situations, an indirect approach is better. It’s more natural and puts less pressure on her.
The most important thing is that you approach her.
10. Make Statements (Don’t Ask Questions)
You’ll do it, right?
Awesome! No you just have to avoid the next trap. I call it the German job interview style because German’s are the masters of this big fuck up…at least I am. But I’ve also seen Americans do it. Maybe they shouldn’t listen to a German dating coach hehe.
Combine this with a monotonous voice (again a German quality) and you have the perfect German job interview. Please oh Lord, please avoid it at all costs. Questions are weak and boring.
Statements are for winners.
Assume qualities, hobbies, and all kinds of other things about her. This technique invites her to talk about herself instead of answering “yes” or “no”. Your goal is to engage her in a conversation, not to bore the shit out of her.
11. Feed the Conversation with Her Answer
Let’s say you assumed that she’s into yoga.
She either likes yoga or she doesn’t like it. What if she absolutely hates it? It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be afraid of her answer. Her answer doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that she answers and that you can use the information she reveals.
What if she doesn’t like yoga at all?
That’s the beauty of assumptions.
You can take the answer and direct the conversation in any possible direction. While you do this, you can find out what she likes and doesn’t like. That’s how you connect with women.
You have the steering wheel in your hands.
12. Touch Her Because She’s a Woman
She’s not your friend Billy.
She has less hair than him and she also doesn’t have this nasty onion smell. You are talking to a beautiful woman and you want to seduce her. There’s no need to be shy. Touch her as soon as possible.
Don’t be afraid of physical escalation in the first interaction.
Of course, you shouldn’t grab her ass after the first compliment. The first touch should be innocent. The second touch also. The third touch can be a bit more sexual.
Increase the intensity step by step.
13. Turn the Approach into a Date
Is there anything left to say?
You have to keep the goal in mind. I’m sure you didn’t read this article because you wanted to learn how to approach girls for the sake of approaching. You want to seduce them, sleep them, and maybe you want to get a girlfriend.
That’s why you need to turn the approach into…
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know how to approach girls? Then get yourself in the approaching mood. I don’t care if you listen to your favorite song, use affirmations or scream like a gorilla. Oh, and work on your body language. You shouldn’t walk up to her like a sack of potatoes.
Imagine you see her. She looks beautiful. What do you do? Nope, you don’t walk up to her like the Terminator. You approach her with a smile on your face. And you make sure that she sees you before you open your mouth.
You can either give her a direct or an indirect compliment. I’m a big fan of direct compliments and statements. Don’t ask questions. Make assumptions. Now you can use her answers to connect with her. Eventually, you can reach your goal and seduce her.