So you want to meet Zambian women.
I’m pretty sure you spent more than enough time searching for information. Well, too bad. There’s nothing out there. When I told this Alice, a beautiful girl from Lusaka, she looked at me and said “but we have the most amazing booties. Why is nobody writing about us?”
I met her through a friend in Bangkok. And no, she’s not one of the African prostitutes you can pick up in front of the McDonalds near Nana Plaza. She’s here with her husband. He’s English and she worked in the hotel he was staying in. The rest, as she said, is history.
She’s 12 years younger than her husband and at least 3x more beautiful.
While her hubby was busy watching the game and ordering a second Chang Beer, I used the time to talk to her. I didn’t want to steal her (her husband is a tree). I wanted to find out more about the girls in her home country.
I had many questions and she had many answers. She revealed the good, the bad, and the ugly about the Zambian girls you can meet online. Let’s start with the ugly before we talk about their infamous butt cheeks…
3 Reasons NOT to Date Zambian Women
Why do I start this article with the reasons NOT to date Zambian girls?
Well, because I’m an idiot.
Nope, that’s not the reason. I do it because I want to get the negative aspects out of the way so that you can focus on the 10 reasons to pursue them. And I do it because the negative aspects are pretty important.
Without further ado…here are the cons of dating in this African country.
1. Most Zambian Women are Dirt Poor
Dating a Zambian woman could be easy.
But it isn’t because she can’t even afford the sandwich in the shittiest restaurants in town. Approximately 64% of the population lives on less than $1 a day. You’ll have a hard time surviving on $10 a day. And more than 40% of these women are already married.
“Sebastian, do you have more bad news?”
Thanks for asking. Yes, I have.
If you meet 10 girls on the streets of Zambia, you can assume that at least 4 of them can neither read nor write. Of course, if you date women in Lusaka or Ndola, this number goes down. Okay, it’s even wors when you’re dating Gambian women. But still. It’s worth considering.
That’s only one reason why online dating is the best option in Zambia.
2. Zambia Has a Ridiculously High HIV Rate (Wrap It Up)
Don’t even think about having unprotected sex in Zambia.
I want you to be a happy Global Seducer and maybe, yeah maybe you’re even looking for a wife. I don’t want you to regret your trip to Zambia. Please keep in mind that 14.9% of the women between 15 and 59 have HIV. These are the official statistics.
Here’s what I would do about that:
Call me a hypochondriac. Call me extreme. That’s what I would do.
3. Zambian Girls Have Strange Beliefs
What happens in a country where 36% of the population can’t read a book or write a letter?
Such a country is a hotbed for superstitions, strange beliefs, and really weird shit. Sorry, but it’s true. The Zambian woman I talked to in the sports bar in central Bangkok told me everything about these beliefs.
I have no freaking idea if any of this stuff is true, but here’s what she said:
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have a girlfriend who stretches her labia. But hey, maybe it really increases her sexual pleasure. Maybe I should stop being so uptight. What do you think? Tell me in the comments below.
10 Reasons to Date Zambian Women
Yes, you shouldn’t ignore the facts I just shared with you. But they are no reason to cry.
Please don’t get a panic attack.
The women you’ll meet online do NOT live on $1 a day. They have a smartphone and internet access. They are also not illiterate. How could they chat with you? However, I can’t guarantee you that they don’t do this labia stretching thing.
There’s only one way to find out…
1. Zambian Women are Trained to Be Good Wives
This will interest you, especially if you’re looking for Zambian brides.
According to Alice, the women are mentored by their aunties. This mentorship teaches them how to cook, how to clean, how to take care of their children, and how to please their husband. Those aunties are either older friends or neighbors.
You can’t complain that Zambian women are not traditional enough.
Their aunties take care of that. But when I asked her how these aunties teach young girls to please their husbands, she shivered and said “you don’t want to know”.
Maybe I really don’t want to know.
2. Zambian Girls Know How to Shake Their Hips
„We can dance. We can shake our hips better than any other African girls. Not even Ugandan women are better at this. We can make your head spin.”
I wanted to believe her. Heck, I wanted to see it.
Unfortunately, she didn’t want to shake her enormous ass in public. And I didn’t want her to do it because, like I said, her husband is a tree. Instead, she showed me a YouTube video to prove her point.
Here’s the video she showed me:
Man, I still want to see her shake her big, round…okay, let’s continue.
3. Zambian Women Dream of Interracial Dating
What do Zambian women think of interracial dating?
They love it. In fact, I recently read a story that a 29-year-old Zambian bride married a 92-year-old white South African man. But I guess she’s just a gold digger and hopes that he dies of a heart attack in the middle of a wild fuck.
Can you even have a wild fuck with 92? I don’t know. Anyways…
Not all Zambian women are gold diggers who marry 92-year-old men. But most of them love white men. They are obsessed with getting a Caucasian boyfriend or husband. Some of them want it so bad that they don’t allow another man to touch them because they have their eyes on the prize.
That’s what my friend’s wife told me. She showed me this story to prove it.
It’s a story about 22-year-old Juliet Buumba. I won’t make a joke about that name. I promise. But I want you to have a look at what she has to say:
“I have never had a boyfriend in my whole life, neither have I slept with any man before…when I have not even found my white guy. This is something I have been wanting since my childhood and I have always dreamed of getting married to a white man.”
This woman knows what she wants.
Before some angry social justice warrior who accidentally stumbles upon my blog screams “white supremacy!” I want to mention the three reasons Juliet mentions:
Let’s hope she finds the white man of her dreams. Are you the one?
4. You Can Choose Between Lusaka Girls and Ndola Girls
You have two options.
You can date Zambian girls in the capital Lusaka or in Ndola, the largest city in the Copperbelt province. Your choice depends on the girl you’re looking for.
Are you looking for a big city girl with high heels and the latest fashion?
Are you looking for more open-minded girls who are more skilled as lovers than as wives?
Are you looking for more traditional women with traditional colorful clothes?
Are you looking for a bride who wants to introduce you to her parents after the first date?
I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.
5. You Can Meet so Many Christian Girls in Lusaka and Ndola
Hurray! No voodoo!
Finally, an African country where you don’t have to be scared that half of the girls you meet practice some weird Voodoo rituals. Dating as a Christian is easy because 85.5% of the population believes in Christianity.
You can also meet a few Islamic girls, but the vast majority is Christian.
Maybe you don’t care about religion. That’s also fine. But you would care about it if you met a voodoo princess. Believe me. So be happy that she’s either Catholic or Protestant.
6. Thousands of Zambian Women Have Joined This Dating Site
Where can you meet all these Christian ladies?
Online dating in Zambia is easy because you can meet them on the largest African dating site.
I just checked. 43 girls from Lusaka were online before I published this article.
7. Zambian Women are Good for Sex and Cooking
I don’t want to be an asshole but these are the words of a Zambian life coach.
This guy calls himself Steady Divine (pretty cool name) and here’s what Mr. Divine has to say:
That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?
Well, he goes on to say that they have no vision, no purpose, and no grind. Well, I guess Mr. Divine has never dated an “ambitious” Western career woman. If you want a woman who supports your goals instead of expecting you to support hers, you’ll find her in Zambia.
8. Zambian Women Do Everything to Get a Big Butt
I still don’t know what to think about this documentary:
First, I had to switch on the subtitles because I couldn’t understand a freaking word. Then I had to laugh that this 22-year-old college girl with a huge ass wants an even bigger ass. Eventually, I facepalmed myself when I saw that hip enlargement doctor.
Jesus fucking Christ!
Why do I not get paid to massage women’s hips?
It’s a cruel world. But now I understand that my friend’s wife was right. Zambian women are obsessed with their asses. They want them round and big.
Do you want that too? Let me know in the comments below.
9. Zambian Men are too Busy Chasing South African Sugar Mummies
Zambian women want a big butt and the local guys love it.
Or don’t they?
According to Alice, most local men aren’t even interested in dating the women in their country. Apparently, they are more interested in girls from South Africa.
If this is true, you don’t have to worry about competition.
10. Zambian Girls Want an Ambitions Man with a Vision
Here’s what’s funny:
According to Mr. Divine, Zambian single women have no ambition and no vision.
According to Alice, they want a man with ambition and a vision.
Let’s assume you’re an ambitious entrepreneur and you want a wife who fully supports you. Date a Zambian woman! What if you’re a college student and need time to focus on your studies? She’ll love your ambition and cook for you.
I know that feminists don’t want to hear this but I call this win-win.
Summed Up Wisdom
What do you need to know about dating Zambian women? Maybe you should know that they want to have the biggest butts in the universe and that they love to date white guys. But not every girl is saving herself for her foreign prince.
Some girls are naughty. That’s why you have to be careful. The only thing that’s higher than the HIV rate is the illiteracy rate. But don’t worry. The girls you’ll meet online can read, write, and know how to use a condom…hopefully.
Do you have the ambition and vision to impress a Zambian girl? I hope the answer is “yes” because according to a local life coach, you can’t expect the woman you’re dating to be ambitious. But she can cook and apparently she’s good in bed.