Why do you want to know how to keep a conversation going with a girl?
Let me guess:
Buy why? Why don’t you get the numbers and the dates you want?
I’ll tell you:
It’s not because you’re not good enough. It’s also not because you’re not handsome enough. No, I coached guys who were uglier than Steve Buscemi and fatter than Danny De Vito. Eventually, they all got phone numbers and dates.
I taught them how to have engaging conversations with women.
That’s the whole secret. If she’s engaged, the words flow. And if the words flow, she feels comfortable enough to give you the magic digits.
That’s why I want to show you:
Are you ready to talk yourself in her heart and her body?
Then let’s get started…
The 3 Core Principles to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl:
I couldn’t do it.
I still remember my first interactions with women. Back then I didn’t know about the best ways to keep a conversation going with a girl. I was clueless and hopeless. Every time I approached a girl it ended the same way…
- My first interaction lasted twenty seconds. Then she ran away.
- The second one lasted one minute. Then she excused herself.
- The third one wasn’t better. No number, no date, nothing.
This had to change!
That’s why I began to read scientific studies about effective conversations and the language differences of men and women. I was obsessed with turning my words into seduction weapons.
This allowed me to discover these three core principles…
1. Create a Playful Conversation
Can I tell you something?
Seriousness is your biggest enemy. Yes, you should be engaging. But just because politics, the news, and animal rights are engaging, doesn’t mean that you should talk about these topics.
Your goal is to create a fun and playful atmosphere.
Be playful. Have fun. And stop taking everything seriously.
2. Talk about Topics SHE is Interested in
You want to talk about boobs, beer and guns.
I get it. But she’s a woman. And unless you’re dating a badass bitch with an alcohol problem, she’ll prefer a conversation about romantic movies, horses, and traveling. She’s not you.
Talk about topics she’s interested in.
The more you’ll do that, the more she’ll open up. And a conversation with a girl who opens up can easily last 30 minutes instead of 30 seconds.
3. Ask the Right Questions
Ask and you shall receive.
Choosing the right topics is important, but questions are the key to keeping a conversation going with a girl. A lot of guys are good at asking questions…but they ask the wrong questions.
Asking the right questions is the foundation for an engaging conversation.
The 4 Best Questions to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl
What are the right questions?
The infamous question “do you come here often?” is definitively not the right question.
The right questions fulfill three main purposes:
And don’t forget my famous “have you ever wondered” question…
1. Ask Really Deep Questions
Here’s what I mean by REALLY deep:
Don’t just scratch the surface!
Okay, here are some examples:
- Don’t just ask her about her studies. Ask her why she loves this field.
- Don’t just ask her about her family. Ask her about her relationship with her parents.
- Don’t just ask her about her friends. Ask her to share her most memorable experiences with them.
2. Ask Funny Questions
Funny questions keep a conversation going.
This is a universal rule. They might not be perfect to build an emotional connection, but they work. She’s smiling and laughing. And let’s face it. If you’re smiling and laughing, you don’t want to end the interaction.
She has fun and she wants to continue to have fun.
Here are some questions I love to ask girls:
Ask her a funny question and she’ll stick around. I guarantee it.
3. Ask “Have You Ever Wondered” Questions
I love this type of question.
The “have you ever wondered” question can lead in many directions. It can be a funny question that makes her laugh. But it can also be a deep question that makes her think.
The choice is yours.
Here are some questions I like to ask girls:
And yes, I really asked the last question. It turned out that she really likes sex.
4. Ask Reactive Questions
Always act! Never react!
Well, that’s not entirely true. Reactive questions are extremely good to keep a conversation going with a girl. But that’s not all. They are also the easiest type of questions because, well, you just have to react.
No matter what she says, you use the information she gives you and turn it into a question. It’s really that simple.
The 4 Best Topics to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl
Questions are awesome.
But let’s face it. You can’t ask her question after question. You don’t want to turn this into an interrogation. Remember that creating a playful atmosphere is your number one priority.
It’s your job to choose the right topic.
Keep in mind that there are good topics and bad topics:
Here are some good topics that keep a conversation going…
1. Talk about Her Passions and Interests
Remember what I said earlier.
Talk about what she likes and the conversation will flow. That’s why you have to find out what she likes. Yep, you guessed it? You ask her. But a short question is enough.
Once you know it, you continue with the following three steps:
This is by far the best topic to keep a conversation going.
2. Talk about Your and Her Family
What if you want to dig deeper?
Let’s get emotional, baby!
Here’s why family is such a powerful topic:
It’s an emotional topic. Every experience and memory triggers a (hopefully) positive emotion. Talking about her parents and grandparents makes her feel loved, cared for, and protected.
She has never talked about this on a first date.
3. Talk about Your Goals for the Future
Talking about her goals is good for two reasons:
Reason #1: This makes her imagine future with you.
Reason #2: You find out if she’s the right girl for you.
Don’t underestimate reason #2. Let’s say you’re on a date with a beautiful girl and you already think about making her your girlfriend. You ask her about her future goals and she tells you about her plans to move to Africa.
She might not be the perfect match for you. But hey, maybe you’re lucky and she wants to stay in the country. Then use reason #1 and paint a colorful picture of your future. Let her know how it would feel like to date you.
She’ll listen to every word you say.
4. Talk about Her and Your Craziest Adventures
There’s no scientific study that proves this, but I know it from experience. Sharing crazy stories keeps the conversation going. It gives her the feeling that you’re open, unfiltered, and unapologetically honest.
Women are attracted to adventurers.
Share adventurous stories and she’ll dig you like an old soul record.
3 Tips to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl on the Phone
What if you’re not talking in person?
Let’s say you approached this girl and she was totally into you. She basically forced you to take her number. She wants to see you again. And because you’ve read my book Rise of the Phoenix, you know that you should call a girl to set up a date.
You dial her number and wait.
She picks up the phone and you ask her if she’s alright. You messed up…
1. Start the Phone Call with an Open-Ended Question
Why did you mess up?
Well, you asked her if she’s alright. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what she’ll answer. Let’s face it. “I’m fine” or “I’m alight” are not directly good things to keep a conversation going.
You can do better than that.
Ask open-ended questions to get longer answers:
Ask her open-ended questions and she’ll answer in detail.
2. Don’t Interrupt Her
I did it all the freaking time.
Whenever I talked to a girl on the phone, I interrupted her. I was nervous and I wanted her to say “yes” to the date. That’s why I spoke way too fast and didn’t let her finish the sentence. After five minutes she usually had enough.
Don’t fall into this trap.
Slow down and let her do the talking.
Your job is to ask the right questions and to lead the conversation with the right topics. Her job is to answer. I’m serious. Let her do 80% of the talking and the conversation will flow.
Women love to talk…especially about themselves.
Give her the chance to do what she likes to do and shut the fuck up.
3. Tease Her for Being Silent
Women hate awkward silence.
Unfortunately, a lot of my male coaching clients hate it too. They are scared of it. As a German, I couldn’t care less about it. We have something in our DNA that makes us immune to silence during conversations.
But in case you’re not German:
Embrace the silence!
Don’t be afraid of silence. Just because she doesn’t know what to say doesn’t mean that she hates you. She’s nervous. She wants to make a good impression.
And what do you do?
You tease her for it:
That’s how you keep a phone conversation going with a girl…and turn her on.
3 Tips to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Online
Why should you talk to her online?
Maybe your dog ate your phone. And that bastard hasn’t pooped it out yet. You have no chance to contact her. Oh wait…
You can still use your laptop to chat with her.
Let’s have a look at how to keep her talking while you’re online…
1. Accept that Calling is Better than Chatting
I hate to say it but…
Calling is better than texting. A Facebook call is more powerful than a Facebook chat message. But even if you don’t want to call: Send her voice messages on WhatsApp. Ah shit, I forgot that your dog ate your smartphone.
Here’s why it’s better when she hears your voice:
She gets bombarded with messages on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And you know what happens when you send a sarcastic chat message and she takes it seriously.
Make it person and she’ll stick around longer.
2. Use the Power of Online Memes
Online memes are powerful.
You can use them to annoy your coworkers, to get reported for sexual harassment and to get laid. Everything is possible.
I love to send memes to girls.
It’s the fastest and most effortless way to make girls smile online. Encourage her to do the same and start a meme battle. Such a battle can last a long time.
3. Continue the Conversation Offline
Oh, here’s another tip you don’t want to hear:
Get offline and meet her!
Yes, I’m talking about a date in the real world. Stop asking yourself how to keep a conversation with a girl online. Instead, you should ask yourself: What’s the fastest way to get her to meet me in the real world?
Here are some ideas:
You can’t bang her online. Remember that.
3 Tips to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Through Text
I prefer calling to set up dates.
But I can’t deny the power of a good text message. You can text for hours…now that your dog has finally pooped out your smartphone.
Here’s how you can keep a conversation going with a girl you like by using text…
1. Send One Text and Wait
Here’s the most important rule:
No text bombing!
In other words, don’t be like Josh…
If she looks at her smartphone and she sees anything remotely like this, you are fucked. Yep, that’s the fastest way to mess up. Remember why you’re here. You want to learn good ways to keep a conversation going with a girl.
You’re not here to have a monologue.
Send one text and wait until she replies. Then you can send another one.
2. Tease Her with the Right Smileys
Can you send the wrong smileys?
Yes, you can.
Here are my smiley rules for a flowing text conversation:
You want to make her feel good. Make her laugh and smile and your mission is accomplished.
What about the angel and devil smiley?
You’ll have enough time to talk about naughty stuff 😉
3. Have a Selfie Conversation
The infamous selfie conversation…
This is the best way to keep a conversation going with a girl over text. The idea is simple. You use selfies to express your opinion on topics. And remember: You want her to enjoy a fun and playful interaction.
Here’s what I tend to do:
When should you send the thumbs up selfie?
Use this technique and she’ll have the time of your life texting you.
The Best Hack to Keep a Conversation Flowing and Alive
One last tip…
You don’t have to start over every time you approach a new girl. That’s tiresome. Be like the world’s greatest CEO’s. Have systems in place that do the work for you.
Here’s what I mean by that:
I know. These are a lot of different lists. But think about it. No matter if you talk to her in person, online, or on the phone…you’ll know exactly what to say.
Do you want to know exactly what to say at every stage of the seduction?
Check out my book for more word-for-word scripts and techniques.
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know how to keep a conversation going with a girl? Then stop being so goddamn serious! Create a playful atmosphere and ask the right questions. Just don’t ask her about the WWE. She doesn’t care.
The right questions and topics build the foundation for your success. Everything that’s fun is okay and everything that goes deep is even better. What if you’re on the phone? Let her do the talking and don’t interrupt her.
And I hate to say it, but online calls are better than online chats. In fact, you should always try to get her on a date in the real world. But don’t worry. She’ll say “yes” after you made her laugh with your selfie conversation.
Sebastian Harris says
I hope this article helped you!
it seems running out of things to say or talk about, is the next biggest sticking point guys have after approach anxiety