Why do you want to know how to get a girl to chase you?
Let me guess…
That’s why you are here and that’s what I want to teach you.
Of course, you still have to ask her out, go for the kiss, and close the deal. I’m not one of those shady dating gurus who promise you that any woman will take her clothes off by pushing one magic button.
It's not that easy...
However, I promise you this:
That’s my promise to you.
Here’s the first principle you have to understand…
The Best Way to Get a Girl to Chase You is by Being Worth It
Let me share a secret with you:
Getting a girl to chase you is NOT about using some crazy technique with a fancy name. Heck, it’s not even about actively doing something. Yes, chasing her requires you to actively go after her. But you want the opposite.
That’s why you need to become worth chasing.
It sounds so simple, but that’s really what it’s all about. It’s about making her believe that you are worth pursuing. In other words, it’s more important that you portrait an image than doing specific things to impress her.
“Sebastian, do I have to become another person?”
To be honest, not really.
You just have to make her belief that you are a man worth of her attention. I mean, think about it. Justin Bieber (even if you hate him) or Johnny Depp (you can’t really hate him) doesn’t have to do anything to get girls.
I can’t promise to turn you into a celebrity, but I can promise you to show you what you can do to appear as interesting and as worthy as some of the most famous men on the planet. It’s all about psychology, baby.
With the right psychological weapons, she will chase you to the moon and back.
How to Make Her Chase You By Being Out of Reach
Did I already tell you that you are out of reach?
This is your goal. This is the feeling you want to give her. If you are in reach, she won’t chase you. Of course, you have to see this “in reach” in a psychological, not in a physical way.
I’m not talking about being out of her league.
Here’s what you want her to think and feel:
And no, you don’t have to look like a model. You also don’t have to be rich. You don’t even need hair on your head. A woman might think that she’s into Johnny Deep because of his looks, but the real reason has nothing to do with his appearance.
Here’s how you can become more interesting than Johnny…
1. Tell Her about Your Busy Life
You are a busy man.
What? Did you just say you are not busy?
Then get your schedule and write down some stuff you want to do. Make shit happen. As a man who wants to know how to get a girl to chase you, you have to be busy.
You have to live life.
That boils it down to the essence. You have to live life. A busy man is interesting because he lives his life. She imagines how you meet cool people, how you do fun things, and how you meet other women.
...even if it's just at the office.
That’s the kind of life she wants to be a part of.
It’s a messed up situation. If you have more free time than Homer Simpson, women won’t chase you. If you are busier than Warren Buffet, they’ll run after you as if you were a candy store that gives away free chocolate.
Keep hustling, my friend.
2. Surround Yourself with Beautiful Women
How do you get a girl to chase you?
Let her know that other women do what you want her to do. Make sure that she knows that you’re not alone. Women think different than men. We prefer girls who are single, alone, and ready to get picked up.
Women prefer men who can have their pick.
Girls are naturally programmed to pursue men who have access to other beautiful women. The biological principle behind this phenomenon is simple: Such a man has already been approved as a good mate.
He has been approved. She can tick the box.
What if you don’t have access to beautiful girls?
Heck, it doesn’t matter if the girl next to you is your sister or just a friend. You don’t believe me? Go to the club with two buddies. Go again next week, but leave your buddies at home. Take two female friends (or your sister) with you. You’ll understand what I mean.
3. Invite Her to Places You Want to Visit
This is different than taking her on a date.
Instead of planning a date for HER and choosing a venue that SHE feels comfortable with, you ask her to join you on YOUR journey. Okay, enough capital letters. You get the point. The idea is to give her the opportunity to accompany you.
Let me give you an example:
“Hey Lisa, tomorrow I’ll go to this art gallery in the city center. If you want you can join me.”
That sounds completely different than:
“Hey Lisa, do you want to go to this art gallery in the city center? I’d love to see you tomorrow.”
How romantic
Give her the feeling that you go anyway and she’ll want to go with you.
How to Get a Girl to Chase You Online
What if you meet her online?
The principle remains the same. You want to appear valuable. You want to give her the feeling that you’re the best fish she can catch, despite the fact that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
The good news:
It’s even easier to do this online than in person.
You just need a better cover letter than the other applicants...
4. Design the Most Interesting Dating Profile
Let’s say you want to get chased on online dating sites.
Imagine you are on LinkedIn and you want to impress employers. I’m sure you didn’t upload a shitty photo and you also didn’t write two lines of text in your LinkedIn profile. No, you presented yourself properly.
Why don’t you do the same on an online dating site?
now she's interested...
I reviewed so many dating profiles over the last couple of years. Believe it or not, but most men upload a crappy photo and write one or two sentences. Sometimes “looking for love” is all they have to say.
You can do better than that.
Make an effort. Upload not one but two photos. Talk about your positive qualities. Mention your goals and dreams. Do something to set yourself apart from the masses. It’s so easy because most men are too lazy to get girls to chase them.
5. Send Inviting instead of Desperate Messages
What’s the difference between an inviting and a desperate message?
Let me give you an example:
You see this beautiful woman on a dating site. You decide to contact her. Unfortunately, your first message contains the word “beautiful” seven times.
This is not how to get a girl to chase after you.
Heck, how do you know that she has a beautiful heart? You don’t even know this woman. And just because she has beautiful boobs doesn’t mean that what’s underneath is equally beautiful.
Here’s the same example without desperation:
You see this beautiful woman on a dating site. You decide to contact her. Instead of telling her over and over again that she’s beautiful, you invite her to get to know you. You tell about yourself and ask her about her own story and her thoughts on your story.
You invite her to become a part of your life.
6. Get Girls to Chase You on Social Media
I have to admit something.
I hate social media. But I can’t deny that Facebook and Instagram can be powerful tools when it comes to making girls chase you. Yes, you can use Facebook for more than wasting time and stalking people.
Here’s what you need to know:
Think twice the next time you upload a picture. You might want to delete the picture that shows you shitfaced drunk and upload an interesting travel photo instead. No girl wants to date a desperate drunk dude.
Every girl I know would chase a busy adventurer with lots of choices.
How to Get a Girl to Chase You Through Text
Different scenario, same game…
Let’s say you meet this girl. She’s beautiful, smart, and she has the kind of bubble butt that makes your brain go wiggle wiggle. In other words, you want her. And you want her to chase you because you’re too lazy to chase her.
What’s the first thing you do after you got her number?
You text her!
But you don’t just send a generic “how are you?” with a wink smiley at the end. That would be a waste of time, energy, and brain power. You are not a generic dude who sends generic messages. You’re a Global Seducer.
You know what it means to make girls chase you over text…
7. Let Her Know that You’re Crushing It
“I’m crushing it!”
You can’t believe how much I hate this expression. I met so many digital nomads in Bangkok and they all told me that they are crushing it…even the ones who were sleeping on the floor in a cockroach-infested shithole. Anyway…
Are you crushing it?
It doesn’t matter. As long as she believes that you’re crushing it, she’ll have a crush on you. And no, I don’t want you to pretend to be busy by not replying to her messages. That’s rude. Instead, send the right replies.
Here are some examples:
Okay, don’t use the last example. But the two others are proven to work. Let her know that you’ll get back to her later. She’ll do everything in her power to move up on your priority list.
8. Send Her Moments of Your Life
I love this technique.
On the one hand, this is a fun way to flirt over text. On the other hand, it’s an incredibly effective technique to make her want to chase after you. It kills two birds with one stone and it’s so damn easy.
Here’s what you need to do:
Instead of sending her texts, you send pictures of your life.
A picture has a stronger psychological impact than a text message that says “I’m at work” or “I’m at the club”.
She’ll ask herself:
What can I do to be the woman he spends time with?
9. Lead Her with Your Smartphone
Women follow leaders. But they hate to lead followers.
If you want to learn how to get a girl to chase you, you can’t be a follower. You have to be a leader and as a leader, you make the decisions. You make the rules.
You: “Let’s meet tomorrow at the rooftop bar at 8 pm.”
She: “Okay!”
You: “Be on time and wear your most beautiful dress.”
You are the general of the texting battle. It’s your job to start the battle and to end it. Be her leader because she only follows leaders.
How to Get a Girl to Chase You Back
What if you’ve done the unthinkable?
You chased her and now you want to turn the tables. You’ve had enough. You are fed up with the situation and desperate for a change. Now you want to get her chase you back.
Is it already too late to turn things around?
It’s not too late, at least not yet.
You might have lost the battle, but you can still win the fight. But you have to find a way to reverse-engineer what she had done to make you chase her.
It all starts with letting her do the dirty work…
10. Let Her Do the Dirty Work
You invested so much in her:
You deserve a break. Lean back and let her do the dirty work. Now see what happens. I’m serious. Stop investing your time, your energy, and your money (especially your money), and stop putting your heart and soul in there.
Let her do what you did all the time.
What if she doesn’t do anything?
She will. Believe me. I’ve been in this situation before. Women can’t handle it when the attention train suddenly stops. They end up asking themselves the same question that Hillary Clinton asked herself after losing the election.
Women hate to lose a secure stream of attention. They do everything in their power to get it back. But you won’t give it back.
You play the game on your terms…
11. Flip the Switch by Becoming a Leader
How do you play the game on your terms?
You flip the switch.
You chased her and it didn’t work. Now you stop following her beautiful ass wherever it goes. Enough! You’ve given your power away once. You won’t do it a second time. It’s time to turn things around.
Stop being her follower and start being her leader!
And yes, she wants you to be a leader. In fact, the only reason why chasing her sexy behind didn’t work is because you had the mindset of a follower. But things have change. Now you are in charge.
Do what Morgan Freeman does:
12. Resist Her Attempts to Make You Chase Her
Remember what I said earlier?
She’ll do everything in power to get the attention, admiration and her power back. I don’t want to mention Hillary Clinton’s ridiculous question “What happened?” again but…let’s say it this way:
Women are very bad at losing.
Heck, you’ll be asking yourself:
“How can I get a girl to chase me when she does everything in her power to make me do the same?”
Resistance is the answer.
I know. It sounds terribly unsexy because, well, it is unsexy. And it’s the opposite of what your second brain wants you to do. But it’s necessary. It’s the only way to make her crave you even more.
How to Get THE Girl to Chase You
Who’s THE girl?
Sometimes you want to get a girl to chase you because you want to get laid. Sometimes you want more. This is the case with THE girl. You want her to be your girlfriend. And you want her to run after her future boyfriend.
Here’s what you have to do…
13. Resist the Temptation to Turn Her into The One
You need to understand that she’s just a normal girl.
This woman is a normal human being who burps, pees, and poops. Maybe not in this order but she does all these things on a typical day. Of course, she can be special to you. But there’s nothing inhuman or mystical about her.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Put her on a pedestal and she won’t chase you.
If you want to turn the tables, you have to see her as the normal human being she is. Only then will you be able to resist the temptation to turn into a desperate puppy that follows her wherever she goes.
14. Make Her Smile and Laugh
It sounds so simple. But it’s really powerful.
Women are more attracted to men who make them laugh. This is what my experience tells me. Researcher Jeffrey Hall from the University of Kansas comes to the same conclusion. According to him, the ability to make a woman laugh is more important than looks.
Here’s what he has to say:
“If you meet someone who you can laugh with, it might mean your future relationship is going to be fun and filled with good cheer.”
Sometimes it’s enough to make a girl laugh to get her to chase you.
15. Flirt with Her Friend Jenny
What if she has less humor than Kristen Stewart?
Well, in this case you are fucked. And you need a new tactic. Remember what I said earlier about surrounding yourself with women. This advice works with THE girl as well….especially when you surround yourself with her friends.
I’m sure your crush has a hot friend.
There she is
What if you need help with the talking and flirting?
Check out my bestselling seduction book and remember that you just have to chase after Jenny to make your crush chase you.
Summed Up Wisdom
You have to be worth it. I know how brutal that sounds, but it’s the truth. Unless you are desirable, no woman West of Mississippi River will run after your bony ass. You have to be out of reach and being busy is one of the easiest ways to give her this feeling.
Don’t even think about taking your buddy Jerry and Terry to the club. You take your sister or your female friend. Surround yourself with women and women will surround you like a SWAT team on a mission.
But learning how to get a girl to chase you doesn’t end here. You can increase your odds by using texting and online dating. The right profile and the right message can make all the difference. And don’t forget her hot friend Jenny.
Hey Tim,
you’re welcome. I got chased by a lot of beautiful girls.
thanks for another great article, Sebastian.
i’ve always wondered how to get women to chase you. its a great feeling when you receive a call or text from a girl without having to send her one first…….because it’s a clear sign that she’s thinking about you and it doesn’t feel like you’re always doing all the work.
i’m in a new town now, so at this point in time i don’t have access to other beautiful women. but some of the other tips you suggested i can certainly try. for example, i can invite her places i wanna visit. i LOVE live music/concerts……..so i can invite girls out to listen to music with me.
there’s a new girl at my job who introduced herself to me the other day. she was probably just being friendly, but you never know. 😉 she’s cute, so i’m gonna talk to her and see where it goes. i’m actually a tall, good looking guy (other people tell me this)…..yet i’m terrible with women. just don’t have much game, never have.
Sebastian………have you ever gotten any girls to chase you?