It’s time to meet Guatemalan mail order brides from the mountain vomiting waters.
Yep, that’s what the name of the country means. It comes from the Mayan word Guhatezmalh. But don’t worry. You won’t vomit when you get the first messages on Latin American Cupid. No my friend…you’ll do something else.
You’ll ask yourself:
Let’s have a look at what it’s really like to have a girlfriend or a wife from the country with the most colorful clothes in the world…
1. Calm Down: You Are Not Dating in El Salvador
Have you read my article about the women in El Salvador?
I want you to stop panicking.
Yes, El Salvador is a gang-ridden, violent, and dangerous place. And millions of hot Guatemalan women are right across the border.
Here’s the truth:
Think twice before you embark on a dating adventure in El Salvador. Act fast if you want to find a girlfriend or wife in the land of the Maya.
2. You Have the Choice to Date Indigenous or Mestizo Girls
55% of the sexy Guatemalan girls you can meet online and in the country are indigenous.
Yes, most of them are Mayan. And no, the Mayans are not extinct. They are still alive and some of them have produced beautiful daughters.
What about the other women?
More than 30% are Mestizo and less than 20% are white. Oh, there are also a few African chicks, but they mostly live on the Caribbean coast.
In other words, you have the choice.
And don’t tell me that Guatemalan women are not hot. Of course, you won’t find as many insanely hot girls as in Colombia, but don’t underestimate this place. I mean, have you ever been to hooters?
But you don’t want to go to hooters. You want something else. And I already know what it is.
“What would it be like to date a Mayan girl?”
Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it…
3. Dating a Maya Girl Sounds More Fun than It is
Yes, 55% of the women of Guatemala are indigenous. Most of them are Mayan. And the most traditional ones live in the rural areas.
Believe me. You don’t want to date these girls.
I know, I know. Dating indigenous Mayan girls sounds amazing. You see yourself as the main character in an adventure movie. You’re that white dude in Avatar and you’re about to court the sexy indigenous girl with the Hippie beliefs.
It sounds so romantic. But it isn’t.
Think about it. She has been raised in a culture that’s more traditional than your Catholic great grandmother. Her parents are still pissed that the Spaniards took their land, their women, and their culture.
Don’t get me wrong.
You can date and marry indigenous girls…just not the ones who live in rural areas. And let’s be honest. You don’t want them. According to official statistics, the girls in the rural areas are less educated, have poorer health, and are constantly discriminated.
Date indigenous girls from the city or sexy Mestizos. That’s my two cents.
4. Let Me Warn You About Sex with Garifuna Girls
Most Guatemalan brides are either Roman Catholic or Protestant.
That’s good because it makes it so easy to meet women who have the same religious beliefs as you. But there is a downside. It’s not that easy to get to third base…if you know what I mean. Religious guilt is calling.
You have two options:
Option #1: You give her the time she needs to trust you and to open herself up emotionally and physically.
Option #2: You don’t give her time, travel to the Caribbean coast, and have crazy sex with a Garifuna girl.
The Garifuna are mixed-race descendants of West Africa, Central Africa, and the Caribbean. They also have their own language. And they are pretty open about sex.
It’s easy to sleep with a Garifuna woman. But there’s a risk.
They love to sleep around, but they don’t love to use condoms. Avoid them to avoid the three-letter word that you don’t want to catch.
5. You Can Also Meet Cute South Korean Girls in Guatemala
Okay, this is weird. But it’s true.
Not all pretty Guatemalan girls have big round eyes. Some of them look just like the girls you can meet in Seoul.
Behind Brazil, Argentina and Mexico, Guatemala has the highest Korean population in South America, which is pretty impressive. I mean, Brazil has more than ten times as many inhabitants. Mexico has more than 5 times as many.
It gets even better:
57% of them are women. God bless this uneven gender ratio.
Yep, you can meet Latin brides and Asian brides in this country. But where can you meet all these beautiful women?
6. Latin American Cupid is the Best Guatemalan Dating Site
Of course, you can meet women once you are in the country. You can walk along the streets of Guatemala City and approach one girl after another.
But first, let me ask you three important questions:
If the answer to these questions is no, you have to use other ways to get in touch with Guatemala brides. Yep, you have to use that thing called the internet.
Here’s what happens if you do that:
You can meet hundreds of Guatemalan girls online.
No, this is not a Guatemalan dating site. There is none. However, there is Latin American Cupid, the largest South American dating site on the internet. Millions of women from all over South America are waiting for you. Thousands of them live in Guatemala.
What are you waiting for?
7. Guatemala City is Your Only Option to Meet an Educated Bride
Guatemala City is the only city in the country that has more than one million inhabitants.
In other words, it’s the city with the most colleges and therefore the most educated girls. This place is the financial and industrial center of the country.
Oh, and did I mention that you don’t have a lot of competition?
A friend of mine told me that the American tourist board warns US citizens to go there. He laughed while saying it. According to him, Detroit is ten times more dangerous. But hey, you shouldn’t complain that nobody wants to steal your girls.
Are you looking for a beautiful, feminine, and educated Guatemalan mail order bride who’s smart enough to know that Austria is not Australia?
Then focus on girls who live in the capital.
8. Guatemalan Brides Used to Marry with 15
What if you meet the perfect girl?
Make sure that she’s over 18. And no, I don’t care that your Guatemalan neighbor asks you to marry his 15-year-old daughter. I also don’t care that it used to be totally normal that 7% of the girls in Guatemala are married by the age of 15.
This shit is illegal in your home country and now it’s also illegal in Guatemala.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that the locals respect the law. You wouldn’t be the first “rich” foreigner who gets asked if he likes a daughter, cousin, sister, or friend. Be careful.
Don’t date girls who are younger than 20. Then you’re on the safe side.
9. Ancient Mayan Sights are the Best Dating Venues
Where do you take her on a date?
The answer couldn’t be easier. You don’t have to look out for the best coffee shops, the best restaurants or the most romantic parks. Fuck all that crap. You become an explorer of the almost distinct Maya civilization.
Here are three places you have to visit:
Zaculeu: This place is known as the white city of the Mayans and it’s located on the outskirts of Huehuetenango (I probably spelled that wrong). This place is close to the Mexican border and definitely worth visiting.
Yaxha: Have you seen the TV show Survivor? In case you have, you’ll remember this place. This place is near the border to Belize. It’s a huge complex with more than 500 structures. You can climb enough stairs to sweat your as off. Don’t worry. You can take a shower later…with her.
Tikal: This place is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. It’s a gigantic city and you should plan more than just a couple of hours to visit it. She’ll love to be your tourist guide.
“But all these places are far away from the capital?” I hear you asking.
Yes, they are. And that’s exactly why they are the perfect dating venues.
Do I really have to say more?
10. Don’t Tell Your Guatemalan Girlfriend That Your Ex is from Belize
Guatemala and Belize have some weird thing going on.
They regard Belize as their property…and the guys across the border don’t like that. Heck, just look at the Guatemalan passport. If you look at it carefully, you’ll see a small delineated line along the Belizean border.
This line screams: “I own your ass!”
So don’t tell her that you’re ex-girlfriend is a beautiful Belizean woman.
She won’t like it. And she will judge you for it. You better keep it a secret.
11. Impress Her with Her Guatemalan Slang
What’s the fastest way to impress your future bride?
Speak her language.
Nope, I’m not talking about Spanish…even though basic Spanish is a huge advantage. I’m talking about her slang. Yep, she doesn’t use the same words as her Mexican friends.
Here are some of the words that are worth remembering:
Chilero – awesome
Chapina – Guatemalan female
Burra – bus (literally: female donkey)
Pisto – money (let’s hope she’s not a pisto digger)
Remember these words and her jaw will drop to the floor.
12. Guatemalan Mail Order Brides Want to Date the Anti-Predator
Why are Guatemalan mail order brides looking for a man online?
To answer this question, I want you to have a look at the local culture. The beautiful Mayan sights and incredible nature are nothing but a curtain that distracts from the real issues. These are issues that the women in this country face every day.
She’s sick and tired of all the predators. She wants to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t beat the crap out of her. She wants to be loved and give love.
That’s why she’s looking for you.
13. Enjoy Dating the Shortest Women in the World
But there’s one thing you have to know.
If you’re into tall girls, you’ll hate this country. This is not a good place for men who are into long-legged models. Believe it or not, but these ladies are shorter than Filipinas. And that’s not that easy to accomplish.
The average Guatemalan woman will never reach 150 cm.
That’s why they are called chapina. Change one letter and you get chapita, which means shorty. But don’t worry. Just because your future girlfriend or wife is short, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have a big heart.
Enjoy every moment with her.
Summed Up Wisdom
No, dating in Guatemala is not the same as dating in El Salvador. You’ll survive it. And you’ll strive…but only if you learn a few local slang words and join the dating site I recommend in this article.
But seriously, it’s a great country for men who’re looking for a girlfriend or a bride. Why? Well, because of the variety. You can choose among, indigenous, white, black and mestizo women…and everything in between.
She’ll love to be your tourist guide. There’s nothing more exciting than to visit the famous Mayan sights with a beautiful woman…and to stay in the same hotel room with her.