Humans are made to love and be loved. No matter what your sexual orientation, gender identification, or relationship status preference, chances are, if you’re reading this, you are in search of some good old fashioned lovin’.
Gone are the days where you had to court a lady for weeks through writing letters and earning her dad’s approval. With the rapid development in technology comes easier ways of communicating and hooking up. Meeting someone new and interesting is as easy as logging in to a wide variety of hookup sites and online dating apps.
If it’s so easy, is there a wrong way of doing it? Without a doubt – YES!
Online hookup sites are doing all the work for us. As a result, men and women have become less attuned to what the other party involved wants. Getting what you want has become an expectation rather than a reward for investing any real effort into the meeting.
Here’s the deal: even if you are only interested in a casual one-night hook up, there is a chance that you might get rejected. Even worse, being the laughing stock of your hookup’s next social circle gathering.
Instead of becoming someone’s ‘drunken mistake’, rather be someone’s ‘night they’ll never forget’ by following this step-by-step guide on doing it right, the first time.
1. Setting Up Your Profile
Your online dating profile has become more important than your professional resume. It’s here where you market yourself to potential mates.
There’s no beating around the bush when it comes to your profile picture. A low quality, bad angled photo won’t get you any quality matches and will leave you lonely for many more nights to come.
Even if you aren’t Michelangelo’s perfect body you can still take a killer profile photo by using the right angles and lighting. https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/online-dating-profile-photos/
Yes, your photo is surely your biggest selling point. With so many people out there using Facetune to look gorgeous, a little teaser about your personality will only make you more noticeable.
Rule number 1 is easy: don’t lie.
Avoid pretending to be something or someone that you are not. A quirky one-liner like: “I might not have any money, but I’m extremely generous when it counts” will attract someone fun and flirty too.
Pretending to own a mansion in the French Riviera or being much younger than your actual age will only create messy problems later on.
2. Redefine What You Want?
What do you want to get out of the hookup site? A one-night stand, a long-term relationship, a rebound, friendship, or experimental fun? Decide exactly what your expectations are and make it clear to anyone who matches with you.
Being upfront about why you are using online dating services will allow you to hook up and meet individuals with similar mindsets.
Don’t underestimate the power of texting. It all starts with a few emojis and interesting conversation. No one would want to actually meet up with someone who’s texts are bland and boring.
Know that texting is a powerful tool in which you can set yourself apart from other potential partners your interest is talking to. Show interest and share interesting stories to spark mystery and curiosity.
Don’t expect the other party to immediately agree on meeting in person, you need to put in some effort before you jump to a night out drinking. Be careful about texting for too long. Some individuals on dating sites aren’t interested in actually meeting in person. Set a time limit for a virtual relationship and then move on.
If you feel a real connection with this person then there are definite do’s and don’ts when it comes to texting. Follow these tips on texting someone by lifehacker Patrick Allan.
If you want someone to jump at the chance to go home with you, you need to look presentable. This means actually jumping in the shower and brushing your teeth. It’s a scientific fact that smelling good is a natural attractant. That’s why no one likes to sit next to a dumpster – it stinks.
Wash your hair, brush your teeth, trim your nails, and wear clean clothes. Physical attraction off-screen is extremely important in order to seal the deal.
5. The Location
Unless you are a naturally social human being, first encounters can be a bit awkward. The chosen meetup location should not only be safe and public but it should also offer the two of you something to do.
Doing a short fun activity or trying something new breaks the ice and creates topics to talk about. Avoid taking all your dates to the exact same venue, keep it fresh and interesting by trying out new and exciting locations.
6. During the Night
Check your manners. Especially if you want to end the night in a steamy love making session, you need to at least be good company.
Listen and ask follow-up questions
Relate to information they share
Be friendly and smile
Make eye contact
Offer to pay the bill
Be open and share a few secrets
Laugh and be fun
Have a back-and-forth conversation
Show confidence and not arrogance
Talk about your ex
Flirt with anyone else
Be on your phone
Look disinterested and uninvolved
Do anything gross like burp, picking your nose, or farting
Complain and make negative comments about everything
Force yourself onto them
You’ll be surprised how many quick one-night hookups turned into no nookie because one or both parties didn’t put any effort into the actual date.
Don’t be awkward and cuddle for a few minutes before dashing for the door. Unless it’s welcomed, don’t overstay your welcome.
If your date and the hookup was successful, you can send them a ‘thank you, that was great’ text (even if it was only a one-night thing). No need to wait a few days before sending that ‘that blew my mind’ text.
Having respect for the other person means that you acknowledge what had just happened and part ways on a friendly note. If you’re interested in seeing them again, say so, if not, say so too.
Hooking up can be easy if you follow a few simple rules. Relax and have fun, that’s what it’s all about in the end.