You might feel trapped by the soul-crushing grind of working a 9-5 job, hating every single minute while you are in the company of people that you despise, and what’s even worse, who bore you completely, but there are also fleeting moments here and there that remind you what life is truly about. All the grim and dark will cease to exist once you fall in love. It’s not that the world will magically transform overnight, but for all intents and purposes, you’ll feel like it had.
Unfortunately, the very source of your felicity could prove to cause you some other emotions, such as sadness, or even outright fear as well. We are not talking about the fear caused by the growing suspicion that you might not be perfect for each other, after all. Those situations happen, and although they are often described as “heart-breaking,” once you part ways, eventually, you’ll look back and think of it as a responsible decision.
Unfortunately, even though you might realize that the best way to proceed would be to call it quits, leaving a toxic relationship is not easy, especially if you are still in love with the other person. Below you will find how to go through this process relatively unscathed.
The Myth of Sisyphus
If you are trapped in a toxic relationship, you might find out that the story of Sisyphus bears quite a lot of resemblance to the situation in which you are in. Sisyphus is bound to repeat the same task - rolling a rock up the mountain’s top over and over again for all eternity. When it seems that he is just near the top, the rock rolls down again, and he has to begin the process right from the start.
Leaving a toxic relationship is hard because although deep down, you might be aware that you’ll end up hurt, either physically or mentally, there are still good moments. You might hate them for what they have become, or maybe they have always been like this; it’s just that despite the intense hatred, there is still a lot of love involved as well. We think that humans are relatively reasonable - somehow, we’ve managed to get to the moon but also create fidget spinners or design websites with sex stories, such as https://omgkinky.com/.
However, despite our incredible abilities, when emotions are involved, our analyses stop being so accurate. Even though you know that they are hurting you and are unlikely to change, you still love them, which is why you choose to cling to the 1% chance that things will become different soon. It’s really not that weird - such intense emotions are accompanied by powerful chemicals being released in your brain, making the cold calculations all but impossible.
We don’t claim to know the shortcut or a recipe for a potion that would allow you to stop thinking about all the possibilities. You will hear that you have to get away from them as quickly as possible and accept the pain that is ever-present in this process, but that’s not really helpful - what are the alternatives?
However, what we suggest is to cut-off the contact altogether. Delete their phone number and block them on all social media. Sure, for a long time, you’ll burst out crying when you hear certain songs played on the radio, or even when you feel a gust of wind while walking on a particular forest road. We know how it feels; we’ve been there.
And let’s be honest: parting ways is not that difficult. After a day or two, you might feel a little better, and you might even think that you are past this unfortunate situation. However, remember all the powerful chemicals that had been released in your brain when you were near them? The similarities to drug addiction are numerous: when you’ll feel especially down, controlling yourself and not giving in to the urge to contact them will be extremely difficult.
You know that it won’t be worth it in the end, but considering the long-term effects doesn’t always work. Drug addicts know that what they are doing isn’t healthy - it’s just that you can rationalize that the present moment is all that exists.
That’s why, once you get out of the toxic relationship, we recommend stuffing your schedule with as many activities as possible. Book clubs, gym, or even checking if every single item from Wendy’s looks worse in real life than on the pictures - the options are endless. It doesn’t really matter all that much what you choose, as long as your mind doesn’t have enough time to wander aimlessly.
Time heals all wounds - those on our body, but also on our psyche. A week or two might not be enough, but eventually, you will occasionally get excited again, maybe while you are reading a book, or when you go out with friends and the music in a club is just great.
However, right now, you need to regenerate. Ideally, you would do that by being active, but don’t be too hard on yourself, even if, at times, others might act cruel toward you, at least you be nice to yourself. And trust us, this too shall pass.
Leave a Reply