My coaching client knows how to date younger women.
Okay, maybe I should say ex-coaching client. He wants to stay anonymous, so let’s call him Mr. Grey…because of the color of his hair. And no, he won’t kill me for mentioning this. After reading this article you’ll know why he’s proud of his Gandalf look.
I recently published a podcast with the title “do women like older men?”
"The answer is YES!"
I published the episode on the 9th of October 2018. Today I received an email from Mr. Grey. I love to stay in contact with the guys who I coached in person. He’s no exception. He told me how much he enjoyed this episode and that he has some additional tips.
I was excited to hear what he has to say because…
For privacy reasons, he asked me to not reveal his exact age (or maybe for ego reasons). He’s over 40 and he has a lot of experience with dating much younger women. But that wasn’t always the case. I met him in 2016 as a depressed guy who just went through a mind-wrecking divorce.
He asked me to hop on Skype for a second.
I agreed. The second turned into an hour. But it was totally worth it. It was great to hear about the progress he made since the one-on-one coaching. And it was even better to hear all this advice on how to date younger women from an older guy who lives it.
He allowed me to share his point of view with you…
How to Date Younger Women: My Coaching Client’s Experience
Our Skype conversation was incredible.
I still remember how he showed up on the first day of his one-on-one coaching. His clothes, his style, everything screamed “I’m desperate and lonely.” I also remember how he told me that dating younger women (or ANY woman) was impossible for him.
Today he has a 22-year-old girlfriend.
I’m speechless…and a bit proud of myself. However, I’m also shocked. I’m shocked that some of the advice he shared with me is the opposite of what I expected. But that’s okay. I’m not perfect and he’s the older dude who dates a younger girl.
That’s why this experience was so interesting for me.
I learned a lot and I hope you’ll enjoy the following tips on how to pick up younger women…
1. Don’t Live an Old Man’s Life
That’s the first tip he shared with me.
This is closely related to the lifestyle design advice I share in my book Rise of the Phoenix. You are the master of your own life, the captain of your ship. It’s your job and responsibility to live a life that women want to be a part of.
Apparently, this is even more important for older men.
“You can’t live an old man’s life. If you do what old people do, young women get bored.”
That’s what he said to me. I couldn’t agree more.
The problem is not that you’re old. Women don’t give a shit about your grey hair. In fact, they like it. Your looks are not that important. Your lifestyle is what matters. Most old guys are not unattractive because they are old.
They are unattractive because of the way they live.
These are the real reasons why a lot of old men can’t date younger women. They have given up on life. They are done…waiting for retirement and death. And yes, this poisonous mindset can start early, way too early.
I met men in their 30s who were afraid of dying alone.
Are you fucking serious!
A man’s sexual peak is in his late 30s, sometimes early 40s. You can still get young girls…but only if you live like a young man. Travel the world. Say “yes” to new hobbies and new experiences. Live an active lifestyle.
That’s the kind of old man young women want.
2. Don’t Dye Your Grey Hair
I didn’t expect this advice.
In my article about attracting younger women, I told you that acting young is the worst idea ever because the girls who are into older men want a mature guy. However, I didn’t expect that looking younger is also a bad idea.
Here’s what Mr. Grey had to say:
“I dyed my hair and thought it would make me more attractive. Turns out it doesn’t.”
According to my ex-coaching client, his grey hair led to…
His current girlfriend told me the reason. She said that women can see when a man dyes his hair. It looks unnatural…and it’s a sign of insecurity. Only insecure men try to hide their grey hair. Confident men are proud to show their grey hair.
I can’t tell you if this is true or not because I don’t have any grey hair…yet.
But women want confident men. So it makes sense.
3. Dress Like James Bond
Young women are attracted to mature men.
In every article and podcast I made on old men dating young women, I gave the advice to dress maturely. Walking around like a college dude won’t solve your problems. Mr. Grey, however, took the concept of dressing maturely to the next level.
He wears a suit whenever…
I know. It’s a bit extreme. To be honest, I can’t imagine wearing a suit 24/7. But I might do it once I hit 40. I mean, it works for Mr. Grey. He told me that he gets WAY better results when he wears a suit. Yep, he said it with such an emphasis that I had to put the word WAY in all caps.
“Whenever I approach girls in a suit, they are more receptive. Every time.”
These are his words and here’s my explanation:
Women are conditioned to be attracted to the older man in suit. Think about all the movies with Pierce Brosnan, Richard Gere, and George Clooney. These men wear suits. A suit represents responsibility and status, which are two highly attractive qualities.
Suit up my old friend. It’ll get you laid.
4. Be Her Teacher But Not Her Father
Maybe I should take back what I said.
In one of the podcasts I recorded, I mentioned that women like older men because they are looking for father figures. Apparently, that’s only 50% true. Yes, they want someone who guides them and who shows them a path.
But they don’t want to date their father.
Here’s what you should avoid:
In other words, do the things girls want their fathers to do and leave out the things girls don’t want their fathers to do. That’s the whole secret. You’re the good daddy. You’re the man she wants to be around all the time.
“She doesn’t want to date her dad. She wants to date a man who’s better than her dad.”
When Mr. Grey shared this advice with me, I had an aha moment.
5. Sometimes You Have to Pay on the First Date
This was a bummer.
You know my rule. Or in case you’re not a long-term reader and not subscribed to my daily podcast…allow me to share my golden rule with you. This is the most important first date rule I have. I follow it strictly.
I never pay for her shit on the first date.
Maybe it’s because I’m German. I don’t know. All I know is that it saves me a lot of money and it gives me the chance to find out if a girl wants me or the free drink. I live and breathe this rule. That’s why it broke my heart when Mr. Grey revealed an uncomfortable truth.
“Most young girls expect an older man to pay. It has nothing to do with gold digging. It has to do with her assumption about older men.”
I don’t like this but it makes sense.
Women believe that older men are more mature (which is true), more financially stable (which is also true), and more generous (which might be true) than younger men. That’s why they assume that an older guy WANTS to treat a young lady to dinner.
A young guy who doesn’t pay is frugal. An old guy who doesn’t pay is cheap.
That’s a big difference.
6. Read Sex Advice Books
Yep, that’s serious advice.
At first, I was surprised that Mr. Grey mentioned sex advice books. I mean, I’ve read several of those books. I believe that being a skillful seducer and being a skillful lover go hand in hand. Both aspects are important.
Here’s what happens when you know that you can satisfy women in bed:
That’s why I promote sex advice products every now and then.
And that’s why Mr. Grey invested a lot of time (and some money) into becoming a great lover.
“I last longer in bed than most 20-year-old guys.”
He was proud like a peacock when he made this statement.
And he has good reason to work on his lovemaking skills. According to him, young women expect older men to be better in bed. Yes, you read that right. They expect it because older men have more life experience AND more sexual experience.
Don’t disappoint her.
7. You Need to Come Up with a Good Reason
“…a good reason for what?” I asked him.
I had all kinds of things in mind. Maybe he had to come up with a good reason why he was interested in younger women. Maybe he had to come up with a reason why he approached them. But no, this is about something else.
“As an older man, you have to come up with a good reason why you are not married.”
"Why are you not married and what the fuck is wrong with my hair???"
Apparently, women in their 20s get suspicious when a man in his 40s isn’t married. They ask themselves what’s wrong with him. They want to know. It’s your job to convince her that nothing is wrong with you. You better come up with a good reason.
Here are some reasons Mr. Grey mentioned:
Here’s what’s amazing:
All these reasons make him appear even more attractive.
Equipped with these reasons, he just has to find one of the millions of hot young women who are into older men.
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know how to date younger women? Then listen to what my ex-coaching client has to say. When I met him, he was an embittered and desperate divorced man in his 40s. Now he has a beautiful 22-year-old girlfriend.
According to him, it’s way more important to live like a young man than to look like a young man. In fact, he gave me the advice to not dye my grey hair. Now my future self is prepared. He also told me that a suit works best when it comes to picking up younger women.
Okay, I got it. Grey hair and a suit are cool. But what about paying on the first date? Unfortunately, a lot of young women expect older men to pay on the first date. Well, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. But if you work on becoming a great lover and come up with a good reason why you are not married, you’ll have a great time dating younger women.
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