No matter how long you and your partner have been rolling in the sheets, hitting a rough patch or a dry spell is bound to happen. In fact, it probably already has. It’s OK; it can happen to anybody.
However, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you should just let it be. When you notice your partner’s (and your) desire dwindling, instead of just letting things play out naturally, you should take matters into your own hands (sometimes literally).
Igniting that flame of desire your partner and you had for one another (that got mercilessly snuffed by life’s obligations) is vital for your relationship. But, not to worry, we are all capable of bringing back the romance (and sex appeal) that’s missing from our lives.
Here are the top tips on how to spice up your sex life.
1. Try Out Something New
A lot of times, our sex lives hit a dead end because the novelty wore off. When you’re in a new relationship and in the getting-to-know-you stages, everything is new and exciting. However, after a while, that newness wears off, and you and your partner get into a routine.
There’s nothing wrong with a routine. However, in order to bring back the will to roll in the deep with your partner for hours, you’ll need to snap out of the routine.
Trying out something new doesn’t mean you have to take extreme measures. It can be anything that will bring excitement into your relationship. As long as it’s new, it can help you reconnect with your partner, which will inevitably lead to a more spicy sex life.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment
Of course, ideally, you'll try out something new in the bedroom. Sure, giving that new board game a shot or trying out an escape room is great. However, to truly spice things up, you'll need to be more imaginative in the bedroom.
The most important rule here is to not be afraid. Don't let fear stop you from experimenting. Some of them will be mediocre at best (or even bad), but others will be the bullseye you need to reignite your sex life. Don't miss out on the bullseye just because you're scared of a few faulty attempts.
3. Try New Positions
The best way to shake things up is to try a position you've never been in before. If you're in a routine that consists of two or three poses that you rotate on a monthly basis, then you definitely shouldn't skip this step.
Instead of missionary, try having your partner in your lap while you're face to face. Instead of spooning, try doggy and instead of your partner on top, try to have sex while standing.
4. And New Toys
As mentioned, the most important step is to introduce novelty into your relationship. And what better way to do that than with a shiny new sex toy!
If you've never used toys, start small and get a vibrating bullet that will help you satisfy your partner. If you have, then go a bit wilder and get an anal plug, a big dildo or even a blowjob machine that your partner can use on you.
Toys are amazing accessories for any bedroom. They can help you feel more sexually liberated and can even improve your performance in bed. As long as you consider them your allies rather than your competition, both you and your partner will benefit greatly.
5. And Even New Locations!
Changing the scenery can greatly help when it comes to breaking up a habit. However, don't worry; you don't have to go completely wild.
You don't need to book a five-star hotel (although it wouldn't hurt). Sometimes the simplest change, like switching from the bedroom to the bathroom, can make a huge difference.
6. Masturbate More
Spicing things up doesn't always have to happen between your partner and you. Masturbating more, exploring your own body, and getting familiar with your desire patterns can help immensely. Later on, you’ll be able to explain to your partner what exactly you want them to do to you.
If you don't like playing the five-finger shuffle, you can always get a male masturbator. That way, you’ll be able to focus on different sensations and figure out what works for you (and what doesn’t).
7. Talk About Fantasies
You might think you know everything there is to know about your partner, but do you know their latest sexual fantasy? Our guess is - probably not. You might know what used to be their favorite fantasy. But fantasies and desires are fluid, and they’re always changing. That’s why it’s vital that couples talk about them.
Perhaps a new craving started burning deep within your partner without you noticing. Maybe their ultimate fantasy changed over the years. What’s more, maybe they even developed a whole new kink you know nothing about. Either way, you won’t know until you talk about it.
8. Then Play Them Out
Ideally, you won’t stop at talking about fantasies. Talking about what we want is great. However, putting ourselves to work when it comes to fulfilling those fantasies is even better.
As mentioned, people’s fantasies change over time. A while ago, you probably did all you could to make your partner’s dreams come true. Today, however, your partner’s new fantasy isn’t something that you can bring to life. That’s OK! Don’t despair; even if you can’t make them a reality exactly how your partner envisioned it, you can still work on making it happen together.
What’s more, maybe together, you’ll be able to find a new fantasy you can share.
A dull routine in your sex life is probably a consequence of a dull routine in your everyday life. Now, we understand that there’s really not much you can do there, right? You have obligations and chores that you need to get done. At the end of the day, you probably find yourself exhausted and motivated to do nothing more than crawl into bed.
While that’s perfectly understandable, we urge you to reconsider your behavior. Breaking up the daily pattern can be really beneficial for you. So break it up and shake things up by sexting with your partner while you’re at work.
Tell them how much you want them and how you envision your night going. Show them that not only do you care, but you’re also still insanely turned on by the very idea of them.
This naughty little game will break up the monotony of your day, keep your mind on your partner, and motivate you to crawl into bed for a whole different reason that night.