Why is it so hard to find a good woman?
I have to warn you:
Sorry, but I had to mention that before I share all the real reasons with you. Yes, you’re about to discover the truth. In other words, I won’t tell you the same lies you’ve already been told. You’ve heard enough of this “every woman has a good side” crap.
The war of the sexes is real.
What I’m about to share with you will offend you and piss you off. But it’s also a huge opportunity. I don’t want you to read this article, close it and think “shit, life sucks”. I want you to read my words and take action.
You’ve already recognized the problem.
Now it’s time to analyze the reasons and to work on a solution.
Let me open your eyes to a world where…
These are the facts.
Let’s have a look at the underlying causes…
Why is it So Hard for a Good Man to Find a Good Woman?
What are the characteristics of a good woman?
So…why is it so damn hard to find a woman with these qualities?
Well, there are a lot of things going on that make it increasingly difficult. But hey, I warned you. I won’t tell you what you want to hear. You are also not completely innocent. I don’t say it’s your fault. But I do say that you can increase the odds of finding the right girl.
Let’s start with the painful truth about the society we live in…
1. Our Society Encourages Women to Be Bad
It’s hard to find a good woman and our society is to blame for it.
Have you ever seen the movie Bad Moms?
I watched it for research purposes. Can please someone give me the two hours back. I regret that I wasted so much of my precious time for this crap. Unfortunately, this is not the only example where Hollywood tries to condition women that being a loyal and supportive woman is so lame.
Here are things that are way cooler:
I call this the Sex and the City Lie.
“Drink and party until you’re 40 and then you’ll find Mr. Right…you go girl!”
I know women who fell into this trap and they ended up bitter and alone because, well, news flash: No confident man would marry a 40-year-old ex-party girl with an alcohol problem. I hope women will one day realize that wasting their best years is not the answer.
Thinking about their values might be the answer…
2. It’s Harder to Find Women Who Believe in Marriage
Do we still have values?
I don’t know if it’s because religion loses its meaning in society or if there are other reasons for this development. All I know is that we care less and less about values. Heck, I even observe this phenomenon in my coaching clients…and they are men.
“What are your values?”
This simple question is enough to shut them down. They don’t know because they never thought of it. The same is true for women. Our culture focuses on having fun, doing great things and changing the world…and completely ignores the underlying values that make everything function.
That’s why Dr. Jordan B. Peterson words resonate with so many people.
He talks about values.
Women have been fed this lie that values are boring and that marriage is unnecessary. I mean, yeah, they don’t need men and marriage to raise children. That’s true. But the consequences are absolutely terrible.
I hope women will realize that you can’t be super mom and super CEO at the same time.
3. Our Society Conditioned Women to Choose Bad Men
I’m a gentleman and proud of it.
Are there women who consider my behavior ridiculous?
Yes, of course. But I’m not interested in them. I don’t want to waste my time with women who laugh at me for being a gentleman. I’m confident enough to walk away from them. Most of the time this confidence is what ultimately attracts them to me.
“You’re like a man in those black and white movies. I really like it.”
I hear that a lot because THIS is what I do…
There’s a reason why being a gentleman works better in Asia than in America:
In the West, gentlemen got replaced by gangsters.
Manners are no longer a desirable quality. It’s no longer about being a gentleman. It’s about being loud, obnoxious, and disrespectful. I’m not a fan of this cultural development, but that’s how it is. You can’t change the whole culture.
But you can change the way you act because there are still women who appreciate a gentleman.
4. The Desire for Instant Gratification Leads to Instant Disappointment
Why is it so hard to find a good woman?
Instant gratification has spoiled the ladies.
Everything has to be now, fast, and immediate.
Take my book Rise of the Phoenix as an example. As far as I know, I’m the only dating coach who doesn’t lie on his product’s sales page. I tell you that you have to put in work to achieve the results you want to achieve. I lose money because I’m honest.
I get dozens of emails from guys who ask me:
“Product X from company Y promise instant success. Can you promise the same?”
No, I can’t. And I won’t because I won’t lie.
What about relationships?
It takes time to develop a good relationship. And it takes time to commit to someone. Oh, and did I mention that not every day is rainbows and unicorns? If you expect instant gratification every day, you’ll end up disappointed.
That’s exactly what happens to women.
“My boyfriend did X and that’s why I left him.”
One of my teachers once said:
“The young generation gives up too easily.”
5. Young Women are More Narcissistic than Ever Before
I’m a millennial and I’m not proud of it.
My generation is considered the most narcissistic generation that has ever walked the earth.
enough is enough!
We are obsessed with ourselves, our achievements, and out grandiose, yet deeply insecure self. But guess what…relationships are not about me, me, me. In a relationship Me becomes We.
This requires a sacrifice.
You are no longer just responsible for yourself. You’re also responsible for another person and for the relationship with this person. A lot of women are not willing to take this sacrifice…at least not anymore.
Will this get better in the future?
We can only hope.
6. Women Have Completely Unrealistic Expectations
Why is it hard to find a good woman?
Watch this video and you’ll know why (Seriously, watch it before you continue reading):
Even Steve Harvey (my favorite TV show host) is shocked.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s kind of ironic that these ladies are either overweight or the opposite of beautiful?
I showed this video to a Ukrainian friend and a Thai friend (both are women).
They both reacted in the same way:
Hey were shocked and asked me: “That’s a joke, right?”
Unfortunately, it’s not a joke.
7. Women are No Longer Willing to Give What They Expect
Do you remember what Steve Harvey said at the end?
“Are you willing to be the same thing to him that you’re talking about on that list? And a lot of women are not.”
Stevie hits the nail on the head.
You have to be handsome, athletic, and rich and she has to be…nothing.
Here’s my advice:
Whenever you meet a girl who lists qualities and characteristics that are completely unrealistic, you smile, wave, and get the fuck out. You don’t have to waste your time with deluded women. Heck, she’ll never finds this guy and you know it.
Don’t even think about trying to fulfill her unrealistic expectations.
You’ll end up bitter because you’re turning into a dancing monkey and she’ll end up bitter because it’s impossible to live up to her standards. I’m damn serious. Run as long as you can still run. You deserve better.
And you can get better if you look for good women in the right places…
8. You Were Looking in all the Wrong Places
Why is it so hard for a good man to find a good woman?
You were looking in all the wrong places…
Can I be honest with you?
I think American women are a bit weird…and I’m not even American. But hey, the same can be said about Western European women. It’s hard to find a good woman in a Western country because of the reasons I already listed.
The culture is sick, anti-masculinity, and anti-marriage.
You’re looking for a wife?
You can choose the one you like the most and join for free. My reviews will help you to make the right choice. And believe me, it’s hundred times easier to find a loyal, committed, and supportive wife if you look for her overseas.
Welcome to international dating.
9. You’re Dating the Wrong Girls
One of my friends dreamed about being a husband.
He’s like this short dude in Kill The Boss who says that he always wanted to be a husband. Now he’s married to a feminine and loyal South East Asian girl. They are really happy.
But there was a time when he was miserable.
A chick who chose Women’s Studies as her college major is the only thing missing on his list of failed attempts. Man, I told him a million times to stop wasting his time. You don’t go to a steakhouse if you want to eat vegetarian.
For the love of God:
Stop wasting your time with career women if you want to find a good girl to marry!
10. Your Bitterness Makes You Blind to Good Women
Remember what I said earlier:
I won’t tell you what you want to hear. I’ll tell you what you need to hear.
Yes, our society sucks in many ways. And yes, women have been conditioned to believe in the patriarchy, the Sex and the City Lie and that they have superpowers. That’s all true. But it’s not only their fault.
You are to blame, too.
Feel free to hate me for asking you this question:
Do you even like women?
Over the years I’ve met a lot of guys who complained that they can’t find a good woman. These same men then told me how sick and tired they are of “these stupid bitches”. It was obvious to me that they hated women.
Hello self-fulfilling prophecy!
Women can feel what’s going on in your mind. They have this talent to see right through you. If you walk up to a good woman with the mindset that all women are bitches, she’ll run as fast as she can.
What about the bad bitches?
They’ll stay and the vicious cycle continues.
11. You Are Even too Nice for Good Girls
Why is it so difficult to find a good woman?
Let me answer this question with another question:
Have you ever been too nice?
And no, I’m not talking about being friendly. I’m talking about…
That’s what insecure men do and that’s what leads to rejection after rejection. You’re looking for a good woman and please correct me if I’m wrong, you might put her on a pedestal that’s too high for her.
Be careful or she’ll fall down and crush you.
12. You Don’t Know How to Attract Good Women
Be prepared for the battle or you’ll lose the war.
Here’s how to get good women:
Do you know how to do these things?
If the answer is “no”, you have to check out my book Rise of the Phoenix because chapter five is all about getting and keeping a good woman.
Summed Up Wisdom
Why is it so hard to find a good woman? I hate to say it but our society sucks. Women are conditioned to be bad and to choose bad men. What about values? Forget about it! Instant gratification has replaced the values that were once expected.
But the desire for instant gratification does more than that. It makes it almost impossible to maintain a healthy relationship. And it doesn’t help that being a gentleman is no longer a desirable quality in men…at least in some parts of the world.
What can you do about it? You can look in the right places. There are still good women out there, women who want to be in relationships and get married. But you also have to work on yourself. You have to become a man who is prepared to attract one of these rare ladies when you encounter her.
This list should simply be called 12 reasons to move to Russia am I right or am I right. Yeah im right.
I have realized the type of women that a man would want are mainly not available any more in Western Society. My experience of having a Filipino partner has surprised me in a good way. They naturally look after men very well.Wash your body & hair. Shave you. Check your ears & nose. Before you go out she checks you clothes look right before you go out. Feminine & Caring women. Treat your lady well. You get treated with love & respect. Western women have lost much. The Asian women have still a good understanding of how to look after her man. Beautiful slim Asian women are everywhere.
Hey John,
I’m glad to hear that you’ve found such an amazing woman.