“Why don’t women like me?”
A couple of years ago I asked myself the same question.
I was a virgin, suffered from social anxiety, and had never even kissed a girl. I had lost all hope. No matter what I did, it didn’t work. I couldn’t get laid if my life depended on it.
Have you ever had a similar experience?
It happened to me so many times. My friends used to call me the chick repellant. Yeah, it sounds funny. But it wasn’t. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. That’s how amazing my life was.
Today I know why no girl liked me:
Eventually, I realized that I’m the problem…
Why Don’t Women Like Me? 17 Painful Facts
You will hate me.
Sorry, but I have to be honest. You’re here because you ask yourself “why don’t girls like me?” and you won’t like the real reasons. You know me. I don’t sugarcoat anything. Each reason I mention will feel like a sledgehammer that says “hi” to your face.
You might be looking for the easy way out.
“The women are to blame. These evil bitches!”
As human beings, we love to blame others for our mistakes. It’s easy to ignore our shortcomings when we make others responsible for them. And yes, there are bad women out there. They do exist and I don’t deny that.
It’s time to take responsibility for your life. And taking responsibility involves accepting the painful truth other men willingly ignore. They’ll stay blind. You’ll finally be able to see.
Open your eyes…
1. You are too Needy
No need to be ashamed…
We’ve all been there.
I don’t even remember how many times I’ve been too needy with women. For God’s sake, I behaved like a well-trained puppy with bladder issues. It’s a wonder that I didn’t pee in front of the girls to show how submissive I am.
Do you know where it led me?
I put myself directly in the friend zone…
And I did it all the freaking time. What about you?
2. You Hide Your Truth
The truth is that you want to meet her.
And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Come on. Admit it. If you wanted a platonic friendship, you wouldn’t be asking yourself why women don’t like you. You are here because you want to sleep with beautiful women…and that’s okay. It’s a natural desire.
Maybe you want a girlfriend. That’s fine too.
Make your intent clear. Do it with your body language, compliments, and with a gentle touch. If you’re too afraid to let her know that you desire her, she won’t desire you.
3. You Hate Women
“Why don’t women like me?”
Have you ever asked yourself this question right after a harsh rejection?
If the answer is “yes”, think back to this situation.
Let’s be honest:
You hated her for doing this to you. I mean, she questioned your ability as a suitable sexual partner. That hurts. A lot of guys carry this pain around. Revenge is their only motivation to become great seducers. They embark on a dark path.
Do you really think women like you when you hate them?
You wouldn’t like a woman who hates men. The same is true for her. This road leads directly to hell.
4. You are a Style Victim
Being a style victim is worse than having no style at all.
Some guys have the problem that they have no style. They look as if their mother dresses them every morning. You know what I mean. These are the guys who don’t want to understand that plain white shirts that are way too large and baggy pants are not en vogue in 2018.
That’s bad and I hope you’re not one of them.
However, this is worse:
You can take it too far and a lot of aspiring seducers do exactly that. It all starts with the book The Game. Then they google Mystery and Style aka Neil Strauss. Eventually, they find themselves in a second hand shop looking like Macklemore.
Peacocking is a terrible idea.
The act of peacocking screams “I have to cover my insecurities with crazy clothes”…and you’ll end up looking like a Grizzly Bear after a tie-dye attack by a bunch of hippies.
5. You Have the Mindset of a Victim
Do you have the victim mentality?
Let’s find out…
If any of these statements and questions sounds familiar, you’re trapped in the victim mindset. Hey, I warned you. You want to know why women don’t like you and I promised to tell you the painful truth. And this is the truth for a lot of guys.
They are always whining and complaining.
If they would only invest 10% of the effort they put into complaining into taking action, they could change their life. Yes, you can do something about your situation. Heck, I’ve written a book that gives you a step-by-step instruction.
Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start focusing on ways to get what you want.
6. You Don’t Touch Her When She wants It
Does she want to be touched?
You can bet your sweet cheeks!
Women are sexual creatures. If you don’t touch them, they will put you in the friend zone. A man who doesn’t have the courage to touch a woman is considered an asexual friend. He’s harmless and women don’t like harmless men.
But be careful:
Not being harmless is not the same as being aggressive or violent. It’s about being unpredictable, exciting, and sexual. That’s what she wants. And if you don’t give her what she wants, she’ll find it somewhere else.
7. You are Afraid to Offend Women
Speaking of being harmless…
Are you afraid to offend women?
We live in a day and age where being offended is almost a national sport. Everything you do or say is racist, sexist, or whatever other “ist” you can think of. This desire to feel triggered kills the relationship between men and women.
Women want men who speak their mind.
What happens when you don’t say what your heart wants to say?
You feel as if you betrayed yourself. Suddenly, the question “why don’t I like myself” becomes more important than “why don’t women like me?” You can’t feel confident, attractive, and seductive when you have a dagger in your back…and you are the one who stabbed yourself in the back.
The moral of the story:
Say what you want to say, no matter how inappropriate it is.
P.S. Women love inappropriate jokes.
8. You Put Her on a Pedestal That’s too High for Her
I built way too many pedestals for women.
For me, women were unapproachable and unreachable goddesses from outer space. Why? Well, because I couldn’t get laid. They were still humans but my mind turned them into perfect angels.
There was just one problem:
No woman wants to stand on the pedestal you build for her.
She wants a man who...
She doesn’t want to be your goddess. She’s happy to be your girlfriend.
9. Your Lifestyle is Beyond Boring
No interesting life, no sexy wife. That’s the rule of life.
Nope, I’m not changing my profession to rapper. I’m still a dating coach and that’s why I have to share this uncomfortable truth with you. We have to talk about your lifestyle…or your non-existing lifestyle.
Here are the facts:
“Why don’t women like me?”
You can’t just watch TV all day long and have video games as your only hobby and expect every girl to like you. That’s not how it works. There are already enough of these men. Women are dying for passion and adventure.
Socialize, travel, and read interesting books.
Have an interesting lifestyle and you’ll have women in your life. I guarantee it.
10. You Use Outdated Pickup Lines
Girls don’t like lame pickup lines.
And no, I’m not talking about honest compliments that start with “excuse me, but I just saw you”. That’s totally fine. I’m talking about those lines that were new when Neil Strauss called himself Style and wasn’t a father yet.
“Who lies more, men or women?” is the classic example.
She knows that you don’t care. And please don’t ask her for her opinion on the birthday present for your sister. She knows that you don’t have a sister. Please don’t use these terrible pickup lines. She’s not from Jamaica, even if she’s Jamaican you crazy.
Just be honest, for God’s sake.
11. You Talk But Never Listen
This is a typical beginner mistake.
You want to impress her. I understand. But please don’t try to impress her for one hour straight. It’s great that you got that promotion. I’m happy for you. But you don’t have to tell her three times. And unless she’s a gold digger, she won’t care about your new shiny car.
Some men tend to talk women into the ground.
You think that bragging about your accomplishments is impressive, but it’s actually…
What if I’m wrong?
Maybe…but she’ll interpret it this way. That’s why it’s better to shut up from every now and then and to listen. Listen to everything she says. Women want to help you to seduce them. They give you all the clues you need.
You just have to listen.
12. You Lie about and to Yourself
Lying is a big problem.
Lies are nothing but a short-term solution that leads to long-term suffering. That’s universally true, no matter if you lie to women or to yourself. Unfortunately, most guys do both.
They lie to themselves by…
You can lie to yourself on so many different levels. Analyzing yourself and your actions is the first step to self-improvement. Look inside yourself and face your inner demons. Stop deceiving yourself. No more lies.
Then there are the lies men tell women:
Lies are short-term solution that leads to long-term suffering.
13. You Communicate that You’re Not Good Enough
Women don’t like you when you think you’re not good enough.
Unfortunately, you communicate it on so many different levels:
Here’s the truth:
You are only good enough for her if you think you are good enough. It has nothing to do with your bank account or the car you drive. It has everything to do with the beliefs you hold about yourself and your worth as a man.
I can assure you:
You are good enough to attract incredible women because you are a Global Seducer.
14. You are Neither Hot Nor Cold
Let’s have a look at the Bible.
I’m not a good role model for the classic Christian monogamous marriage. I’m kind of a promiscuous devil. But I’m a big fan of this one quote from the Bible.
“So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”
Believe it or not, but this quote answers the question:
“Why don’t women like me?”
In this sense, women are like God and nope, that’s not an invitation to call her your goddess. Stop that needy behavior! But it’s true, women don’t like lukewarm men. If they did, they wouldn’t lose respect when you don’t say your opinion because…
Face your fear and remember that you have to be either hot or cold.
15. You Speak Way too Fast
Women don’t like machine guns.
If you fire your words faster than an M-16 fires bullets, you have a problem. And believe me, most guys have this problem. This is one of the first things I correct in my one-on-one coaching sessions. God, I still remember what Sasha Daygame told me on my bootcamp.
“Slow down. No woman will understand you!”
He was right.
I was talking way too fast. You’re probably doing it too. You don’t consciously realize it, but you do. I also had no idea until someone told me. The next time you interact with women, try to slow down. Speak in bullet time.
He shows you how to do it:
Don’t underestimate the importance of slowing the F down.
16. You Use Opener without Emotions
How do you approach women?
I’m sure you use openers. You might use direct or indirect openers. Maybe you even use the more than 70 openers I share with you in my eBook Cold Approach Cheat Sheet (You get it as a free bonus when you buy my book Rise of the Phoenix).
Having the right openers is great, but…
In other words, she has to feel that you really mean what you say. Imagine a woman told you that you’re the most handsome guy on earth…while she’s looking at you like a dead fish.
Would you believe her?
No freaking way!
Picking up women like a robot doesn’t work. Be a human being and show emotions.
17. You Lack the Seduction Skills
I have to warn you.
You won’t like my last answer to the question “why don’t women like me?” You won’t like it because I’ll kick your ego right in the nuts. You might even want to hit me.
Here you go:
You are not a seducer…yet.
Hey, don’t complain. I put the little word “yet” at the end. That means you can become one. You have unlimited potential. And I want to help you to tap into your potential. I want to give you the skills, the techniques, and the power to make every girl like you.
What am I saying?
Girls won’t just like you. You’ll be the man they crave, desire, and chase.
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know why women don’t like you? It’s a painful question to ask yourself and I’m proud of you for having the courage to face the truth. And no, it’s not all about being confident. The problem runs deeper than that.
Are you hiding your truth? A lot of guys do. What about the women you approach? Do you actually like them? Some guys think they do but when they’re really honest to themselves, they have to admit that they don’t. Others put girls on a pedestal.
Stop putting her on a pedestal and don’t be afraid to offend her. She wants you to share your honest opinion. But she also wants you to slow down. Talking slowly and listening carefully gives her the feeling that you consider yourself worthy. She wants a worthy man.