What to do if she has a boyfriend?
Thanks to the suggestion of one of my loyal readers, I decided to address a delicate topic in this article. Today I am going to talk about what you should do when a girl you are interested in has a boyfriend and how you can still seduce her.
He might be an idiot, but is stealing her really a good idea?
I am glad that he asked me to write about such an important topic but at the same time I assume that he and a bunch of other guys might not like what I have to say about this topic. The more I thought about how I should start the best way, the more I realized that I don’t want to lie to you and to myself.
In case you hoped to get a superficial post about the top ten magical tricks to seduce a woman who has a boyfriend, you have to close this article right now.
Don’t worry, I am going to share the best tactic to seduce a girl who is in a relationship, but I want to dig a little bit deeper.
I know that a lot of guys in the pick up and seduction community brag about how they stole the girlfriends from other guys. Some of them even tell completely made-up stories about how they made out with a girl while her boyfriend was holding her hand.
I won’t do that. I won’t brag about how many girls who were in a relationship I have seduced. Do you know why? Because I only did it once and I felt like a piece of shit afterwards. Call me weak, call me a pussy or whatever you want to call me, but I promised myself to never do it again.
Why I Don’t Seduce Girls Who Have a Boyfriend
I still remember this day as if it was yesterday. About one and a half years ago I approached a beautiful Ukrainian woman at the train station. Her smile showed me that I obviously made her day by telling her that she looks amazing. We connected instantly and even though we only talked for about twenty minutes, we had the feeling as if we would know each other for a very long time.
After the first ten minutes of our conversation she told me that she has a boyfriend. I didn’t stop. After two hours she agreed to come back to my place. I didn’t stop. After four hours she was naked in my bed. I didn’t stop. The sex was amazing and she didn’t even regret cheating on her boyfriend. I still felt like a piece of shit.
She was beautiful. The sex was great. Something inside of me died.
I talked about this experience with a lot of my friends in the dating industry and they all said that they are okay with having sex with a girl who is in a relationship. Even though I am nearly alone with my opinion I still decided that I know for myself what to do if she has a boyfriend.
I know that even if she would cheat anyway, I don’t want to be the one she does it with.
Do you want to know why I see it this way?
It is Not What an Honorable Man Does
The concept of honor might be an ancient philosophical term that has no meaning in today’s society. I, however, still regard honor as a very important part of every man’s life. I personally believe that having sex with a girl who has a boyfriend is not an honorable thing to do.
I believe that men should support and not betray each other.
I’m convinced that you feel a lot better when you decide to give value to a man instead of stealing something from him that is valuable to him. Whenever you meet a couple and you see a man who obviously behaves in a way that motivates his girlfriend to cheat on him, you have a choice to make.
You can either take advantage of a guy who doesn’t know how to keep a girl and how to behave in a relationship, or you can help him to rescue his relationship. You can either have a sexual experience that you could also have with any other girl, or you can teach him the art of seduction and become his friend, instead of his enemy.
What to do if she has a boyfriend? I think we both know which decision is more honorable.
Jealous Boyfriends are Unpredictable
Unless a girl has some uncontrollable fetish for cheating, she won’t simply cheat on her boyfriend without any reason. Girls who are together with self-confident men who they respect and love won’t even think about cheating. You can use as many magical pick up lines as you want, but you won’t be able to seduce a woman who absolutely loves her boyfriend. She won’t do what you want her to do, no matter what some people try to sell you.
Seduction is always a reciprocal process and unless a woman wants you to seduce her, you won’t get into her panties. That doesn’t mean that there are not a lot of women who are in a relationship or married, who want to have sex outside of the relationship.
However, the men they are together with are definitely not the prototypes of the self-confident and strong alpha man. A guy whose girlfriend cheats on him is most likely insecure, clueless about women and jealous as hell. He must behave in a way that turns his girlfriend off and pushes her to another man.
The one thing that you have to consider is that those types of men are unpredictable. A self-confident man might stay calm when he finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him and he might even dump her without any drama, because he knows that he can get a better girl.
What about the jealous guy? When he finds out that his girlfriend had sex with another guy his whole world breaks down. He can’t deal with the pain, feels completely hopeless and the only thing he can think about is revenge. I don’t want to be in your shoes when he finds out that it was you who came inside the love of his life.
Try to avoid jealous boyfriends. It saves a lot of hospital costs.
I Always See my Old Self
Besides adhering to my own code of honor and keeping angry boyfriends on a distance, there is a third reason why I have a different opinion on what to do if she has a boyfriend than a lot of other guys in the community.
After I had sex with that Ukrainian woman I told you about, I imagined how her boyfriend might look like. Do you know what image of him I had in my mind? I saw myself. I didn’t see myself how I was at this particular moment but I saw myself two years earlier. I saw myself at a time when I was together with my ex-girlfriend.
I imagined how I would have reacted if I would have found out that my girlfriend cheated on me.
Back then I was shy, insecure and instead of a strong shoulder to lean on I only provided my girlfriend with an omnipresent fear of loss. I was the kind of guy who was predestinated for a cheating girlfriend.
In this situation my old self would have cried and screamed. I was so insecure back then that thinking about suicide would have definitely been an option. Exactly this pain and desperation was what I saw. In this moment I promised myself that I never want to see those pictures again.
What to Do if She Has a Boyfriend: It Depends
Now you know why I don’t seduce women who have a boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean that you have to see it the same way. All I wanted to do by sharing my experiences and my opinion with you is to give you some food for thought and to inspire you to rethink your idea of sticking your penis inside a girl who might be someone’s love of life.
Before I am going to share the perfect method for stealing someone’s girlfriend with you, I want to talk about a few situations in which you shouldn’t seduce a woman who has a boyfriend, even if you don’t agree with what I said a few lines above.
However, I also want to share a few situations in which even I would be tempted to rethink my opinion on what to do if she has a boyfriend. There are quite a few situations in which I would still respect you, even if you bang a girl who is in a relationship.
What If You are Horny?
What to do if she has a boyfriend and the only reason why you want to seduce her is because you are horny? If you try to seduce a girl who is in a relationship, just because you need someone to fuck, you are an idiot.
If your only purpose is to find a beautiful girl you can have fun with for one or two nights, choosing a girl who has a boyfriend is the most ridiculous and unnecessary thing you can do.
There are millions of sexually frustrated single women out there who are just waiting for a guy like you. There are plenty of fish in the sea with whom you can have sex, without destroying a relationship.
Just because you haven’t had sex in two years doesn’t mean that you have the right to destroy their life
Why would you choose to risk two broken hearts and an uncomfortable confrontation with an unpredictable boyfriend, when you could have the same amount of fun with a girl with whom you can enjoy your time without worrying about any of those things?
Only a complete moron would do that.
Unless there are other feelings involved than the sheer desire to get your dick wet, seducing a girl who is in a relationship is a terribly stupid idea.
What If You are in Love?
What if you could have sex with other women but you don’t want to?
What if the only woman you can think of is a girl who has a boyfriend of three years?
Not every guy has the intention to seduce a girl who is already taken, just because he wants to have a delicious ass to play with.
In case you are really in love with that girl and having sex with her for one night before you dump her is the last thing that you want to do, the question “what to do if she has a boyfriend?” appears in a different light.
In this situation I would say “go for it!”
If you are 100% sure that you are in love with this girl, you should do everything to get her.
Somehow I am glad that I have never been in this situation.
And you should be glad that I share 11 psychological loopholes in chapter 5 that make women (even the ones who have boyfriends) fall in love with you.
What If He is Your Friend?
What if you are in love with her but she happens to be the girlfriend of one of your best friends?
Unless you want to throw away years of friendship for a girl who might leave you in one year or one month, you should live by the rule “bros before hos”.
Sleeping with the girlfriend of one of your best friends is one of the worst crimes you can commit.
Stabbing a guy in the back who you grew up with, who you shared all your secrets with and who supported you all those years is something that you might never be able to forgive yourself for.
I would never touch, kiss, or have sex with the girlfriend of one of my friends and I have no respect for someone who does this on purpose and without regretting it.
Friendship is something holy and your friends are the ones who are (or at least should be) there for you in every situation, especially when you have sorrow because of a woman. Too bad that those friends won’t be there for you if the reason for your sorrow is a girl they have been together with before.
What If He is a Jerk?
What if the girl you can’t stop thinking about is together with a complete jerk? What if you know that he treats her like a piece of shit, slaps her from time to time and doesn’t respect her at all?
If he really doesn’t deserve her it’s totally okay to play captain save a hoe
In this case I would first think about the reason why she is together with him and whether or not she has some severe psychological issues.
Once you are convinced that she is not a complete psycho bitch, it is totally fine to think about how you can rescue her from this retarded bastard.
You want her, you are sure that you are way better for her than her current boyfriend and you know that she makes the biggest mistake of her life by staying together with this prick.
Take what you want and show her how amazing a relationship with a great man like you can be. The only thing you need to know now is how you can actually seduce her.
How to Seduce Her if You are in Love and He is a Jerk
Now that you are either thankful or angry because of my countless moral disclaimers, it is time to look at what to do if she has a boyfriend and you definitely want her in your life.
Seducing a woman who is already taken is actually not that hard, especially, because there must have happened something in her relationship that motivates her to spread her legs for you. The only reason why so many guys think that it requires extremely advanced seduction skills to seduce a girl who has a boyfriend, is because they try it in the most ridiculous way possible.
Let’s have a look at what most guys do, before we have a look at what you really have to do.
The Nice Guy Method
Have you ever heard of the nice guy method to seduce women who are in relationships?
One reason why you have never heard of this method is probably because it has never worked. I am pretty sure that there was not one guy in the history of mankind who stole someone’s girlfriend by using the nice guy method.
Why am I so sure about that?
Because the nice guy method requires you to do one thing that never works: doing nothing.
It is a universal law that you can only get something if you are willing to invest some effort and if you eventually take the necessary action to get what you want.
What does the typical nice guy do when he dreams about being in a relationship with a girl who is together with another guy?
Besides masturbating to her Facebook pictures he does absolutely nothing to get her.
And yes, listening to her all night while she complains about how her boyfriend came in her mouth even though she told him that she hates the taste of sperm is the same as doing nothing. Telling her that you would never treat her like this and that she deserves someone who treats her better is still the same as doing nothing.
If you want to know what to do if she has a boyfriend and you are using the nice guy method, you will never find the answer to your question.
Stop wasting your time doing stuff that maneuvers you even deeper in the friend zone and start doing stuff that makes her rethink her past relationship decisions.
Give Her the Feelings that He Doesn’t Give Her
You can try being the perfect boyfriend as much as you want but convincing a girl that you are nicer, better, stronger and the most handsome dude on the planet doesn’t work, at least not when you are trying to do it on a logical level. Stop trying to impress her and start being impressive.
She will never leave her boyfriend if the only thing you do all day is to tell her how amazing you are and how stupid the jerk in her bed is. When it comes to relationships women don’t make any logical decisions, even if they are convinced that they decide in a logical way.
No woman would be so stupid and make the logical decision to stay together with a guy who doesn’t respect her, hits her and treats her like a piece of shit. Nevertheless, those things happen.
When it comes to their love life every decision that a woman makes is based on how she feels. Women are slaves to their own emotions.
Use the fact that her emotions dictate her decisions and take her on an emotional rollercoaster ride. The only way to motivate a girl to break up with her boyfriend and to hop in bed with you is by triggering emotions in her that force her to make this decision.
Be the Better Boyfriend
It doesn’t matter if you tell her that you are better for her and it doesn’t even matter that you are actually the better boyfriend. The only thing that matters is that she FEELS that you are the better boyfriend.
What’s the best way to trigger this feeling in her? That’s actually very simple. All you have to do is to behave like the better boyfriend. Your behavior will trigger emotions in her that will eventually influence her to rethink her current relationship.
When I say you should behave like the better boyfriend, I don’t mean that you should put her on a pedestal, fulfill all her wishes and treat her like a little princess. Instead of fulfilling the Hollywood-cliché of a perfect boyfriend you should do everything that is in your power to really be a perfect boyfriend.
Be relentlessly honest and tell her what you think without worrying about offending her. Tell her that you respect her and that she deserves respect, but let her also know that you don’t respect her for being together with an idiot. Show her that you are bold enough to be authentic and honest.
Build a foundation of trust and connect with her on an emotional level. Instead of convincing her on a logical level that you are amazing, you have to force yourself to talk about her feelings with her. The more she talks about her feelings with you, the more she will associate those feelings with you.
Be careful that you always mention her boyfriend when she talks about negative feelings and to mention yourself when she talks about positive feelings. This will create an emotional map for her that clearly shows that you are responsible for the good emotions and that her retarded boyfriend is responsible for all the bad emotions she feels.
Lead her better than she has ever been led. Make her feel safe and secure while she follows your lead. Take over the leadership in every possible situation, even if it only means to tell her exactly when and where you meet her for dinner. When you lead her in a beneficial way, while her boyfriend leads her in a way that isn’t beneficial to her, she is already yours.
Make her feel safe. Make her feel desired. Make her feel like a woman.
Summed Up Wisdom
What to do if she has a boyfriend?
Before you think about that you should ask yourself if seducing a woman who is in a relationship is something that you really should do. I did it once and I promised myself to never do it again. Why? I think that this is not an honorable thing to do and I would always see my old self in the guy I would hurt with my actions. In addition to that, jealous boyfriends are unpredictable.
Even though I personally wouldn’t do it, there are situations in which I understand if someone wants to know what to do if she has a boyfriend. Just don’t steal someone’s girlfriend for a meaningless one night stand and don’t stab your friend in the back by sleeping with his girl. The only two situations in which it is okay to seduce a girl who is in a relationship is when you are in love and when her boyfriend is a complete moron.
If you really want to seduce a girl who has a boyfriend you should stop behaving like the typical nice guy. You won’t get her with logic but you will get her with emotions. Give her the feelings that he doesn’t give her and be the better boyfriend. Your behavior will trigger emotions in her that will motivate her to leave him for you.
I wouldn’t stick with a girl who’s cheating.
Well. I like her, but her cheating makes me not want to be with her or consider her as someone I would date. I’m not sure what she wants, but it could be just some combo of me and what she’s not getting from her current boyfriend.
Slept with a girl who has a girlfriend. I just ended my previous relationship, we were working things out though and getting back together when i slept with other girl. Haven’t really had time to think about it. I think i need to consider what I’ll do now.
i think my options are to consider separately first.
1. Do i want to continue this behind scene thing with girl b or not. that is driven by consequences of either. Not sure what these are. Any thoughts?
2. Do i want to continue patching things up with my ex.
3. Do i want to have both girl a and girl b simultaneously while both of them think there is no other, or should i tell girl b what’s going on with girl a.
I think girl A is more gf material. Met under normal scenarios, but has her own issues. Girl B is more like this is fun, i like this type of thing. I’m open to changing my mind though, but want to bounce some thoughts off u seb.
Not everyone but I wouldn’t approach the wife of a hughe Ukrainian guy 😉
Good advice but why do you call her cat? 😀
Among so many cats giving soup out there, you were just interested in a woman who has a boyfriend. And now, she has a boyfriend, what do I do? Are you wondering? For this answer, there are several answers, one with greater, others with greater risk of life. However, it is up to you to make an assessment on the subject and conclude whether it is worth it or not to risk it.
To help you in such a situation, check out some of the attitudes that contain least degree of risk for your life:
1. Flirting with the cat discreetly: look does not take away piece, does it? At least, it is what is expected, so, paquere the cat that has boyfriend discreetly, however, no one else needs to realize this, besides herself. Depending on the situation, you can pretend you do not know that it is compromised, which leaves you guilty at about 60%. But do not make the fool of flirting with the cat just when she is with her boyfriend, of course, otherwise, the degree of that attitude is much greater.
2. Pulling Conversation: Disguise your interest by pulling an unassuming conversation with the cat when she is not accompanied by your boyfriend. These moments serve for you to know each other better, as friends, which will not leave your interest in the face. At any moment she can be alone and therefore you can invest from now on, but without great pretensions.
Beware: Like American men, Ukranian men are also possessive. They will beat the crap out of anyone who talks to their Ukranian wives or girlfriends, including foreigners.
Hey Forrest, thanks a lot for your feedback. I already answered your question in a reply to the email you wrote me 😉
Great article Sebastian, it helps a lot. I’m a student in college and My crush, Andrea rejected me for Danny. I already used reverse psychology and put her in the friendzone. I’m gonna date other women and use her as a backup option. If she Truely had feelings for me to begin with, she’ll come crawling back. If she doesn’t, what do I got to lose? I’m out dating other women. Does that sound like a good plan to you Sebastian?
Hey Mahela,
it’s always okay to be honest about your affection, even if she has a boyfriend. That’s your right as a man. In the situation that you are in right now it’s even better to be honest about it. Do it before it’s too late.
Great article and I agree on being the good guy/being honorable. Can I ask something?
What if you meet a girl at uni when she has a bf? And out of respect you therefore kinda avoid hitting on her. But you can’t help hit it off with her and since you work together and can’t avoid her, you end up in her social circle. The word friend never really comes up. She stays in touch after graduation, by texts and meet ups. Then years later she becomes single. I mean she’s been single for about a year now. I haven’t seen her for a bit as she worked abroad. Now she’s moving back.
I am currently single and guess I need to now express desire through my eyes and physical compliments now?
Btw I have always uplifted her in general complimenting about her personal qualities, or been fun by texts and in person (she admires my energy and passion). I did that out of affection and genuinely clicking with her, not to try and get in her pants. But I can’t deny I find her attractive which I have never told her?
What could or should I do now? She’s kinda someone I’d like to be friends with in my old age. She’s probably not the one, and not sure if either of us wants a relationship right now. But is casual sex an option between two great people?
What do u reckon?