What does rejection mean to you?
What are your thoughts when a girl tells you to fuck off, no matter if she does it in a nice way by saying that she has to go or if she literally tells you to “fuck off”?
How do you react if you approach a girl and she simply walks through you as if you wouldn’t exist?
Please close your eyes and experience all the feelings that come up when you think about getting rejected by a beautiful woman.
What? You don’t want to get rejected anymore?
Imagine you walk along the street and you suddenly see the woman of your dreams.
She has an amazing ass, beautiful soft lips and her skin-tight jeans drives you out of your mind.
You stop her, you smile and as soon as you start to talk she gives you this look that women give men they wouldn’t even thouch with a plier. She walks away. All you are capable of doing is to stand there and look like a picture of misery.
I ask you again.
What does rejection mean to you?
I am 99% sure that your answer won’t be: “To be honest, I really love it.”
It is way more likely that you have a bunch of extremely negative feelings in your belly and that you would love to punch your fist into your laptop by even thinking about receiving a harsh negative reaction from a woman.
The good news is that you are by far not alone with your negative feelings and that the majority of men feel that way.
The bad news is that just because everybody handles rejection the same way, doesn’t mean that this is the best way.
What Rejection Means to Most Men
Let’s be honest. This is what rejection really means for the majority of men:
A feeling as if somebody punches you in the balls while pulling down your foreskin.
Even though the expression shitty feeling is a very accurate description of the kind of emotions that you have to deal with when you get rejected by a woman, there are a whole bunch of other emotions that appear and that are a bit more profound than just having a shitty feeling.
When you would ask the majority of men the question “what does rejection mean to you?” a lot of them would list emotional conditions that involve feelings that are anything but healthy. Let’s have a look at all the counterproductive feelings that guys have when a woman they are attracted to doesn’t want to go down on them.
You Take it as a Personal Insult
The most common mistake guys make when a woman doesn’t react positive to an approach, is that they refer her reaction to themselves. Some guys are even so good at taking rejections as a personal insult, that one tiny “sorry, but I have a boyfriend” from a hot girl leads to a chain reaction which makes them doubt everything about them.
Suddenly they think that their belly is too big, that their nose is too long, that their penis is too small and that the sound of their pubic hair rubbing against their trousers scared her away.
The redeeming truth is that most of the time a “no” from a woman has absolutely nothing to do with you at all.
It can have plenty of reasons why a girl rejects you. One reason might be the fact that her hamster Robby just passed away. Please do yourself a favor and don’t take every word from a girl as a personal insult. Sometimes she really has a boyfriend when she says that she has one. Not all women are evil creatures who make up imaginary boyfriends.
You Think that You Have Failed
A lot of guys take the whole thing even further. For them it’s not enough that they blame themselves for hours or even days. They think that every rejection equals a failure. If you would ask a bunch of guys the question “what does rejection mean to you?” I am sure that a lot of them would immediately tell you that it is an obvious sign of failure. They think that if they get rejected, they fail with women, which automatically leads to failure in life.
What they don’t realize is that the only way to really fail in life is to never experience failure. I know that it sounds counterintuitive but it is true.
You won’t be able to find one truly great man who hasn’t failed along the way. Making mistakes and failing is the only way you can learn, improve and grow as a human being. Even if you would say that getting rejected is comparable with failing, it is definitely a positive experience in terms of your long-term development.
You Dwell in the Pain
Would you answer the question “what does rejection mean to you?” with at least one of the following words?
Devastating, cruel, hurtful, terrible, painful…
Please don’t be as melodramatic as a lot of guys are and focus on the pain that a rejection
brings doesn’t have to bring along. Don’t wallow in self-pity because a woman told you to “get lost”.
You are a strong man and as such a man you have to get over it. It might be painful in the first second and it might even hurt after three seconds but as soon as you calm down you’ll realize that the only thing that hurts is your fragile ego. In reality, a rejection is anything but painful.
You Finally Have a Reason to Give Up
I don’t want that you take a rejection as a personal insult and I also don’t want that you think you failed while feeling like a dog who just got kicked in the balls whenever a girl isn’t interested in you. However, there is one thing that I want to prevent you from doing that destroys you more than anything else.
There is a reason why many pick up artists who start their career by posting on forums will never exceed the stage at which they only post why something hasn’t worked out instead of posting their own success stories.
I have seen so many guys who seemed to be motivated to take their life in their own hands and to finally become good with women, when eventually gave up as soon as they had to face the first obstacle.
Getting rejection might be an obstacle you have to face from time to time, but it is NOT a reason to give up!
Losers give up, pussies give up but you don’t give up. You are here to succeed. If giving up is an option for you, you should leave this site right now.
You only give up when you don’t have a high self-confidence. Men with a high self-confidence don’t give up. Ever.
What Rejection Should Mean to You
If you were at peace with yourself, your sexuality and your attitude towards women, rejection would only mean one thing to you:
A positive experience.
In case you just began approaching women and your blood freezes every time you stand in front of one of those cute monsters, you’ll probably hate me for saying that a rejection is nothing but a positive experience.
The question is:
How do you come from this:
“I am so afraid of getting rejected. Mummy!!!”
“I am totally okay with getting rejected. When I really think about it, getting rejected by a woman is the best thing that can possibly happen to me.”
Well, this mindset shift won’t happened from one day to the other, but when you really invest some brainpower you’ll see more and more of the positive aspects of getting rejected.
Please allow me to introduce those positive aspects to you and please also allow me to say that if he survives it, you will survive it:
It’s a Learning Experience
Instead of focusing on all the negative aspects you should start to regard every rejection as a unique learning experience. Every successful seducer will tell you that he learned way more from the interactions that went completely wrong than from the ones that ended up in the bedroom.
From my own experience I also know that you usually learn way more from a rejection than from an interaction that goes flawless. However, you have to do one important thing in order to allow this learning experience to happen.
Don’t make the mistake and persuade yourself of the lie that you are infallible. By telling yourself that you are an infillable master PUA you not only lie to yourself, you also turn a blind eye to every form of improvement.
If you don’t accept that you still have potential for improvement you won’t do anything to improve.
Instead of closing your eyes you have to open them, analyze what you did wrong and what you could have done better. This allows you to eventually take the necessary steps to become better.
It’s a Chance to Meet an Amazing Woman
What does rejection mean to you?
One of the best answers you can give is the following:
“It is the perfect chance to meet an amazing woman”
You might think that you missed out on the chance of meeting a gorgeous woman whenever you get rejected but this is far from being true. Above all, it shows you that this particular woman is not interested in you, is not a good fit for you and therefore shouldn’t be a part of your life.
Be thankful for the fact that you just found out that she is not the one you want to share your time and your body fluids with.
By telling you in a nice way to step out of her life she gave you the chance to continue your journey and to step into the life of a girl who wants you more than anything else.
Don’t be angry that you missed out on a chance to meet a hot girl. Be thankful for the chance that you are now able to meet a woman who is not only hotter, but also way better for you.
There are millions of stunning girls who want to date an intelligent guy like you. And yes, your intelligence can be your biggest asset.
It’s a Time Saver
“What does rejection mean to you when you think about the time you have left in this life?”
Always remember that there is just one thing in life that we can’t get back. You can get money back, you can get your ex-girlfriend back but you can’t get your time back. Once a second is over it’s over. It is not possible to get this second back.
Just think about how much time you waste if a girl wouldn’t reject you right from the start.
You just have to think about the typical nice guy strategy. He hides his sexual interest, gets trapped in the friend zone and spends weeks and sometimes even years as her good friend until he finally tries to kiss her.
And what does she do?
She rejects him by telling him that he is “such a nice guy, but…”
Do you really want to waste weeks, months or even years of your life with a girl you’ll never have sex with?
Hell no! The best thing that can happen to you is that a girl who isn’t interested in you tells you this straight away.
How much time do you waste during such an interaction?
Maye a few seconds and in extreme cases a couple of minutes. This is way better than wasting months and years of your life. A “no” from a woman is nothing else than a time-saving gift. Be happy that she doesn’t waste your precious time.
It’s Nothing Special
Oh, there is one more thing that a rejection should mean to you. One of the best answers you can give if someone asks you “what does rejection mean to you?” is when you tell them that you are totally at peace with yourself when you experience it and that you think it is okay.
The majority of men assume that a “no” from a woman is terrible, painful and disturbing. The last word that they can think of in this context is the word okay. Again, just because nobody considers a rejection as okay, doesn’t mean that it isn’t okay.
It is really nothing special. It never has been and it never will be. You will experience it in every part of your life.
Do you see yourself as a complete failure when you get one rejection when you apply to two jobs?
Do you see yourself as a complete failure when a friend of you doesn’t want to go out with you this Sunday?
The feeling of getting rejected is omnipresent and therefore nothing special. It might sound hard but if suicide is not an option for you and if you want to live a life worth living, there is no way around getting rejected every now and then.
How to Rethink the Way You Look at Rejection
Now that you know what rejection means to most men and what it should mean to you, it is time to reprogram your brain.
Of course you will already learn to deal with it by simply internalizing the concepts that I have shared with you. Nevertheless, I want to provide you with three further tips that will help you to love the idea of getting rejected left and right.
After all, I want to helo you to become the best man you can possibly be. as such a man you need to be okay with getting rejected.
Stop Searching for the Magic Line
When I first heard of the seduction community, I immediately asked myself the following question:
“How can I become successful with women without ever getting rejected?”
Of course I found countless websites that offered me quick solutions to this problem and of course they were all lying.
Don’t waste as much time as I did with the search for something that doesn’t exist.
There is no magical pick up line and no special technique that enables you to become a great seducer without ever getting a “no” from a woman.
I know that having the perfect pick up line sounds promising, but it doesn’t exist. The sooner you accept this fact, the faster will you be able to answer the question “what does rejection mean to you?” with “it is okay”.
Appreciate Rejection as a Part of Life
I already said that rejection is nothing special and that you experience it in every area of life. Instead of becoming desperate because you won’t ever be able to live a life without it, you should start to appreciate it as a part of life.
Now that you know the various positive answers that you can give to the question “what does rejection mean to you?” it should be very easy for you to appreciate it.
Stop to resist and begin to appreciate it.
Grow with Every Rejection
Even if it might take a while to see all the positive aspects that a “fuck off” brings along, you can still regard it as a chance to grow whenever a woman tells you that you are not her type.
At the beginning feelings like pain and thoughts about failure might come up, but even with those negative emotions you can still explain to yourself on a logical level that you just experienced a possibility to grow.
Every time you feel down because you got rejected you just have to think about all the positive aspects that I have mentioned earlier. This helps you to rethink the whole concept, to find a positive answer to the question “what does rejection mean to you?” and to say “it is okay”…
Have you ever asked yourself how you can become so confident that the hottest girls chase you?
I reveal everything in the first chapter of my book.
Summed Up Wisdom
What does rejection mean to you? I hope it doesn’t mean the same thing as it does for the majority of men who regard it as a personal insult, as a painful experience, as a dramatic failure and as a reason to give up. You are different than those cowards. You know that getting rejected by a woman is a great learning experience and a chance to meet and bang another amazing girl who says “yes” instead of “no”. You also know that a rejection can save you a lot of time and that it is nothing special.
In order to rewire your brain and to accept the positive aspects you have to stop searching for the magical line that allows you to avoid this feeling. This line doesn’t exist and the sooner you realize that, the faster will you be able to appreciate it as a part of life. This eventually allows you to answer the question “what does rejection mean to you?” with “it means another chance to grow”.
Sebastian Harris says
have you tried international dating?
When you’ve been rejected by every – and I mean every – woman you’ve asked out in your life, and your woman friends have no idea why, this rings hollow. No matter what I do, there is no woman who will ever say yes to me – 15 years of experience has taught me that. Enough is enough – there is no one out there for me. I’m not angry at women – no one owes me anything. I’m just having a hard time coming to terms with this fact.
Sebastian Harris says
Barry Niederhaus says
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Sebastian Harris says
stop before you read book number 8001 and work on your confidence. Practice makes perfect and meditation and hypnosis helps you to become perfect. Check out my Collection of Confidence review. It might be exactly what you need.
Hi Sebastian!when it comes to this game, fear rejection and making the first move are my obstacles.i am super popular at my school-i always make people laugh and many girls are always checking me out”some becoming disintrested”.i read nearly 8000 PUAs books and articles.i will be motivated at that time, but at spot…..any help???
Sebastian Harris says
Arlie Eirich says
I could not refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written!
Sebastian Harris says
There are many options. Depending on how she rejectes you, you can re-open her and try it again. You can take the rejection like a man an move on to the next woman and you can also ask her why she did it. This is especially great for your learning process.
What to say to her when she rejects you?
Sebastian Harris says
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