I wouldn’t have written this Save the Marriage System if it wasn’t for an email I received two years ago.
A young man in his early 30s wrote me and asked:
“My wife and I don’t have sex anymore. Every time I make a move, she blocks me. What should I do?”
At that time, I didn’t know the answer.
Then I received another email from a guy in his 40s:
“I just had a huge fight with my wife and now I moved to a hotel. I somehow stumbled upon your site. Shall I break up with her or give it another try?”
The funny thing is that he stumbled upon my 10 shocking reasons not to get married article. What’s even funnier is that I received more than 30 emails (yes, I counted them) from married men over the years, but…
But I’m in a relationship with a girl who is marriage material. I guess that counts.
And even though I’m not qualified to give advice on saving your marriage, I can’t let you down. Yes, YOU, married man. That’s why I did the only honest thing you can do when you want to give advice on a topic you don’t know shit about.
I contacted a certified marriage therapist who gave me access to his Save the Marriage System…
WARNING: Not Everything Can Be Fixed with the Save the Marriage System
I knew that Dr. Lee Baucom, or Baumi, how I like to call him (he hates it) was the right guy.
He’s one of the most successful, qualified, and famous marriage therapists and counselors in the USA, but that’s not the reason why I decided to review his Save the Marriage System.
I did it because he’s honest.
He doesn’t promise a 100% success rate and he even says that you should NOT try to fix your marriage if you fall into one of these categories:
Here’s what you should do if that’s you:
Work on your confidence and get out of a marriage that drains you and destroys you. (P.S This is the best way to build unshakable confidence that helps you to make this decision).
What if you don’t fall into any of these categories and you want and are committed to stay married?
Then do everything in your power to save your marriage!
P.S I wrote this review from the male point of view (because I’m a man), but the Save the Marriage System is for both men and women. Continue reading, no matter if you have boobs or if you love boobs.
Why Dr Lee Baucom is the Anti Marriage Counselor
There’s a reason why Dr. Lee Baucom believes that you can save your marriage, even if you live as roommates or separated.
Oh, and his approach goes against everything that popular marriage counseling relies on. And that’s good because 38% of couples who waste their money on marriage counseling get divorced within 4 years.
If the Save the Marriage System had such a low success rate, it wouldn’t be that famous.
Here’s what Dr. Lee Baucom says:
“Everyone says that the secret to rescue your marriage is communication, but that’s not true. Communication is useless when your partner doesn’t understand what you’re trying to communicate. The secret is to change your perception.”
I’m only in a relationship for two years, but I couldn’t agree more.
12 Tips and Techniques I Will Use to Save My Marriage
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Dr. Lee Baucom, it’s this:
When I becomes WE, your shitty marriage turns into a blissful relationship.
Don’t worry. It will all make sense. It made sense for me. Even though my girlfriend and I are not married (at least not yet), I know that Dr. Lee Baucom’s advice has the potential to save my future marriage.
What about your current marriage?
The potential is even higher because you can put his advice into practice…right here and right now.
Here are some of Dr. Baucom’s tips and tricks that I’ll use to save my future marriage…
1. I Promised Myself to Never Make Mistake 4 Again (Module 1)
Let’s start with the first module of the Save the Marriage System.
Or let’s say it like this:
On the sales page it’s advertised as the first module. On the product download page, it’s the second product you can download. That’s a bit confusing, but I decided to structure the modules according to the sales page.
It makes sense that this is the first module because it shows you the 5 things NOT to do when your partner wants a divorce. Of course, I can’t reveal all five.
But I can reveal the one that helped me the most.
“Our natural inclination is to…yeah, to do what?”
After I read page 4 of this eBook, I knew that I had to stop the blaming and shaming. Heck, I can’t even remember how many times I’ve made this fatal mistake during an argument with my girlfriend.
I’m sure you’ve done it to. Maybe that’s why she wants a divorce.
2. Stage 4 of the Quick Start Guide Made Me Sweat and Shiver (Module 2)
I imagined how I would feel if I was in this situation…
The thought alone is killing me.
Man, I really love my girlfriend. Reading this 30-page starter guide reminded me why I decided to write this Save the Marriage System Review in the first place.
I really hope that sharing my experience with this product helps you to make the right decisions.
3. The 159-Page Save the Marriage eBook Gave Me Hope for the Future (Module 3)
Module 3 is the core of the Save the Marriage System.
This 159-page eBook contains everything you need to know in order to save your marriage. And I hope that Dr. Lee Baucom doesn’t sue me for revealing some of the things I learned.
Here’s what I’m going to do now:
I will share 8 eye-opening moments I had while reading the 17 chapters of this eBook. I really hope that sharing my experience can help you to save your marriage, especially when she wants to leave.
Let’s start with chapter 1…
4. Chapter 1 Made Me Realize that Abraham Maslow is a Shitty Marriage Counselor
There’s a simple reason why this statement is 100% true:
I already told you that 38% of couples get divorced after marriage counseling. But did I also tell you that 25% of couples are worse off than they were when they started counseling?
Yes, traditional marriage counseling makes your marriage even worse.
Couple and marriage therapy has a trap and on page 7, Dr. Lee Baucom reveals this trap. This was eye-opening for me because I never thought that THIS is why marriage therapy fails couples.
Here’s what Dr. Baucom says on page 7:
“Psychology has long been the cultural force pushing people to be more than they are, to find enrichment and happiness…there is no inherent problem with this…except in how it competes with the goal of couple counseling.”
5. Chapter 3 Taught Me the Power of WE
Have a look at the following image:
You can find it on page 29 of the Save the Marriage eBook. It displays the receipt for a successful marriage and from page 29 to 41, the author explains this receipt.
Here’s the key lesson I learned:
YOU and I has to become WE…and time is the most important component to make it work.
6. Chapter 5 Taught Me that Arguing is Not Communicating
Can saving your marriage be really that simple?
I’m always suspicious when I hear someone talk about the 3 simple secrets to X, no matter what X is. Most things in life are more complex than 3 simple steps. I was convinced that a successful marriage was one of them.
Then I read the first secret and it all made sense.
I had one of those aha moments. I laughed and I didn’t even know why. Maybe because I thought back to all the times I fucked up because I didn’t know the first secret.
Today I know that arguing is not communicating and what to do instead.
7. Chapter 7 is The Most important Chapter of the Book
Read the headline of chapter 7:
What are you thinking?
Here’s what I thought when I read it:
“Why the hell should I not ask myself this question? Isn’t this THE most important question of all?”
I told you that I’m not a marriage therapist. That’s why I didn’t understand it before I read page 62, 63, and 64. The advice that Dr. Lee Baucom shares in this chapter is worth gold.
In my opinion, this is the most important chapter in the book!
His advice to stop asking yourself “Do I still love her?” and to start treating her the way he describes on page 62 can be enough to save your marriage.
8. Chapter 9 Showed Me that I Don’t Know What She Knows
Chapter 9 is a bit hard to understand. Read it twice.
Dr. Lee Baucom talks about paradigms, astronomers, validity, reliability, and the tie-in. Even though I have a degree in Psychology, I still asked myself “wtf?” on every page.
But there’s one easy to understand lesson:
Johari’s Window is a popular psychological concept. But don’t worry if you’ve never heard of it. Read page 82 and 83. You’ll understand it.
In this chapter, I learned that escaping the paradigm trap is the only way to:
This is the key that opens the door to understanding, harmony, and effective communication that allows growth and bonding.
9. Chapter 12 Taught Me that Doubting is Good and Not Bad
Chapter 11 contains a lot of exercises and chapter 12 is a practical guide to being married.
I’m sure nobody gave you such a guide when you said “I do”. Well, that’s why you’re on the verge of a divorce. We get a manual for everything in school but nobody gives us a manual for life, love, and marriage.
That’s not fair and Dr. Lee Baucom knows that.
On page 105, he introduces you to the Benefit-Of-The-Doubt technique. It’s a stupid name, but it’s highly effective. I tried it with my girlfriend. It works.
10. Chapter 15 Proves that Dr. Lee Baucom Has a Great Sex Life
Come on. This man wouldn’t be married for 25 years, if his sex life sucked.
What’s his and his wife’s secret?
This excerpt from chapter 15 sums it up:
As a dating coach, I know that at least 95% of men believe that sex is nothing else but getting off. But sex is about more than that. I know that since I’m in a relationship.
You should believe it if you want to save your marriage.
Pages 126-134 contain 7 truths about sex that every married couple must understand. Heck, everyone on earth should know what’s written on these pages.
I was surprised that the sophisticated Dr. has such a dirty mind.
11. Chapter 17 Taught Me That Every Relationship Has an Evolution
Sometimes I think I’m stupid.
For the past two years I viewed my relationship the way Dr. Lee Baucom describes on page 149.
That was a huge mistake.
Now that I’ve read chapter 7 of The Save the Marriage System, I view my relationship the way it is described on page 151 and 152.
Now my girlfriend and I can finally evolve. I wish for you that you make the same realization.
12. His Answer to the First Down-N-Dirty Question Blew My Mind (Module 4)
Let me know in the comments below if you’ve asked yourself this question in the past weeks or months:
I’m sure you have. We all do it. Heck, when my girlfriend is pissed at me, my emotional state changes immediately. And it’s neither good for my mood nor for our relationship.
This is the first question that Dr. Lee Baucom asks in his 20-page Down-N-Dirty PDF guide. All in all, this guide contains 15 of the most frequently asked questions from his therapy sessions and 15 detailed answers to these questions.
Here’s what he says to the question I just shared with you:
“The fact is that your spouse is hurt and that comes out as anger. Forget that and you will get yourself caught up in their anger. Neither of you will benefit.”
He goes on to explain what you should do instead.
What the Free Bonus Audios & PDFs Taught Me about My Relationship
This product comes with four additional bonuses.
Some of the bonuses are great. One of them goes against everything I believe in. But that’s okay. Everybody has different beliefs and values.
Here’s my brutally honest review of the bonus products…
The Mid-Life Marriage Crisis Audio Made Me Stop and Stare (Bonus 1)
I love this 18:47-minute audio file.
Let’s face it:
Most marriages fail after a couple of years, 7 to be precise. In 1974 the median duration was 7.5 years and in 1990 the median was 7.2 years. It’s always 7 years.
How long are you married? Let me know in the comments below.
Anyway, here’s the most important part of this audio file:
It starts at minute 7:25. That’s when Dr. Lee Baucom begins to talk about the fight or flight response and what to do when your fears overwhelm you.
Here’s Why I Disagree with the Recovering from an Affair Audio (Bonus 2)
I listened to the whole 24:35-minute audio and I completely disagree with it.
The advice is solid, but only if you really want to recover from an affair.
There are a million reasons why men cheat and a million reasons why women cheat. Both sexes do it, but there’s one thing I learned on my journey. If someone cheats once, he or she will do it again. I know, this goes against what Dr. Lee Baucom believes.
I believe it with all my heart.
It’s up to you if you want to save your marriage when your partner is cheating on you. I wouldn’t. That’s my honest opinion.
The First of the 5 Rules for Fair Fighting Broke My Neck (Bonus 3)
This bonus contains only one page. Yes, one singles page.
But this page has the potential to save your marriage because we all know what happens when we’re pissed at our partner.
Yeah, bringing up the past…
That’s by far my biggest weakness. Whenever I have an argument with my girlfriend, I’m really good at remembering things that happened one month or even one year ago. And it always backfires.
This tiny guide helped me to work on myself.
The Bonus eBook Change of Heart is Still on Amazon (Bonus 4)
You can order this bonus eBook for $8.99 on Amazon really all you’ve learned from this bonus?”
That would suck.
But I thought it’s worth mentioning that this bonus product is actually for sale and that you have the privilege to read it for free.
And you should read it, especially chapter 5.
You have needs and your partner has needs. Remember, marriage is about WE and not about I. That’s why it’s so important to meet each other’s needs. I had no clue how to do that before I read this book.
Now I know.
Save the Marriage System Download: Here’s What You’ll Get
In case you decide to buy the full system after reading this review, you’ll get access to an exclusive download page.
No, it’s not a fancy membership page with thousands of banner ads for other products. It’s a simple download page. Maybe I’m old-school, but I prefer it this way.
Here’s what you’ll get:
- Module 1: Top 5 Mistakes Report (5 pages)
- Module 2: Quick Start Guide (30 pages)
- Module 3: Save the Marriage eBook (159 pages)
- Module 4: Down-N-Dirty Guide (20 pages)
- Bonus 1: Mid-Life Marriage Crisis Audio (18:47 minutes)
- Bonus 2: Recovering From An Affair Audio (24:35 minutes)
- Bonus 3: 5 Rules for Fair Fighting Report (Just one page)
- Bonus 4: Bonus eBook Change of Heart (59 pages)
- Surprise Bonus: Dealing with Anger and Resentment Report (15 pages)
Module 1: Top 5 Mistakes PDF Report (5 pages)
This 5-page eBook contains the 5 things that you should not do when your partner wants a divorce.
When I first had a look at the headings for each mistake, I thought to myself “that’s superficial gibberish”. When I read what Dr. Lee Baucom had to say to each mistake, I thought to myself “damn, he’s right”.
The advice is simple, but the simplest things can have the largest impact.
Module 2: Quick Start Guide PDF (30 pages)
What will you learn in the Quick Start Guide?
In this eBook, you’ll learn what to do at each stage.
Well, each of the 8 stages that Dr. Lee Baucom addresses can lead to a divorce. It all starts with seeing problems down the road and in your relationship. It ends with stage 8. That’s when the lawyers get rich and you end up broke and broken.
Read this guide if you don’t want to end up broke and broken.
Module 3: Save the Marriage eBook (159 pages)
This massive eBook contains 17 chapters, an epilogue, and dozens of scientific principles that you’ve never heard of.
I already shared my experience with 8 of the 17 chapters. Believe me, the remaining 9 chapters are as good as the ones I shared with you. By now you should know that I was positively surprised by Dr. Baucom’s honest advice, meticulous research, and down-to-earth writing style.
Module 4: Down-N-Dirty PDF Guide (20 pages)
The Down-N-Dirty guide to winning your spouse back is an additional Q&A to The Save the Marriage System eBook.
It contains 15 questions that the author has been asked over and over again in his career as a family and marriage therapist. I’m sure you’ll find one or two questions that you’ve asked yourself within the past days.
Bonus 1: Mid-Life Marriage Crisis Audio (18:47 minutes)
This audio file is like a mid-life crisis guide for married men (and women).
It contains countless examples of how to mess up your marriage after a couple of years and guidelines that help you to avoid these mistakes.
The advice is solid.
Bonus 2: Recovering From An Affair Audio (24:35 minutes)
I already told you that I disagree with this bonus product because I don’t believe that you should stay married to a cheater. But it’s your choice.
I also think that his advice on finding out if your spouse has an affair is misleading. Come on, just because you change your diet or hit the gym doesn’t mean that you’re cheating.
Skip this one. It will only make you paranoid.
Bonus 3: 5 Rules for Fair Fighting PDF Report (Just one page)
This is a one-page bonus, but the 5 rules that are laid out make total sense.
Have a look at this bonus whenever your head turns into a red tomato because you can’t control your anger. Look at it to stop the nuclear meltdown.
Bonus 4: Change of Heart bonus eBook (59 pages)
The change of heart eBook by Paul and Jennifer Thibeault contains a lot of useful advice to lead your relationship away from anger and resentment and towards love and compassion.
The writing style is not as scientific as Dr. Lee Baucom’s style, but the advice is solid.
The only thing that really sucks is the formatting. I don’t know why, but this eBook contains so many empty white pages that it’s hard to not break the flow.
Surprise Bonus: Dealing with Anger and Resentment Report (15 pages)
Oh, I totally forgot to tell you about bonus 5.
It’s not an official bonus and I hope I won’t get into trouble for revealing it. Consider it a special surprise on the product download page.
Are you the type of person who gets angry easily?
I mean, you have a good reason. You are reading this Save the Marriage System review because your marriage is on the verge of collapsing. If I were you, I would be angry too.
But it’s counterproductive.
In this guide you’ll learn why (and what to do instead).
Every word the author shares are based on scientific principles and his rant about the psychological reality (you find it on page 6) helped me to deal with my anger issues.
It can do the same for you.
Your Questions about the Save the Marriage System
Now you have questions. I had them too.
Here’s what I asked myself when I first looked at the sales page:
Here are the answers to your questions (ask me in the comments below if there’s anything else you want to know).
Is the Save the Marriage System a Scam?
It sounds like a scam, doesn’t it?
Dr. Lee Baucom claims that his success rate is above 80%. Traditional marriage counseling has a lower success rate…way lower. Something smells fishy.
Here’s what I learned after reviewing his product:
I’m serious. In case I’ll marry my girlfriend and I mess up (sometimes I do stupid things), I would rather go through this product again instead of hiring a marriage counselor who charges $100 per hour…for weeks.
What Does the Product Cost?
Compared to marriage therapy, it’s cheaper than a bubblegum.
The price for the 7 eBooks and 2 audio files is $47.
It’s not a high price for the value that the product offers. It is, however, a high price when you consider the fact that there’s no video content and that two of the bonus eBooks have less than 10 pages.
But one thing is clear:
It’s 10x, if not 100x cheaper than marriage counseling…and most likely more effective. And it’s definitely less risky. You go to a marriage therapist and your money is gone, no matter if he’s helpful or not.
The Save the Marriage system comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee. You have nothing to lose.
Does the System Work When My Partner Doesn’t Want to?
According to Dr. Baucom, his system works under the following circumstances:
You can still rescue the situation. After going through the entire system, I believe this to be true. Always remember that you are a part of the marriage and if you can change one part (yourself), it will have an effect on the other part (your spouse).
Honestly: Does the Save the Marriage System Work?
Let’s face the truth:
Nobody can give you a 100% guarantee that you will save your marriage. Everything else would be a lie and neither Dr. Baucom nor I want to lie to you.
This system has already helped more than 73.000 married couples to turn a seemingly unavoidable divorce into a loving marriage…and to save thousands of dollars in counseling and therapy fees along the way.
With a success rate of more than 80% it is more effective than marriage therapy. That’s a face.
No matter how much you fight, no matter how distant you feel from your partner, and no matter how many days you haven’t talked to each other, if this product doesn’t help you to save your marriage, nothing will.
That’s my conclusion.
Pros of the Save the Marriage System
Cons of the Save the Marriage System
- You won’t succeed without taking the recommended steps
- I don’t agree with the How to Recover from an Affair audio
- You have to continue to work on your marriage once you saved it
- The product doesn’t contain video content
- The Change of Heart bonus is terribly formatted
- The system hasn’t been updated for more than one year
- The membership site has no clear structure
- There is no 100% guarantee that you’ll save your marriage
- The Quick Start Guide Bonus eBook isn’t really necessary
How I Would Save My Marriage if She Wanted a Divorce Right Now
God, I don’t want to cry.
Imagining that my girlfriend doesn’t talk to me anymore, moves out, and never wants to see me again breaks my heart. Now that I’m thinking about it, I want to throw up. The thought of losing her makes me sick to my stomach.
Nevertheless, here’s what I would do if it happened:
Step 1: I would think about the WHY. Why does she want to leave me? What have I done wrong?
Step 2: Then I would ask myself if I really want to save my relationship. Is it the right choice?
Step 3: I would tell her that I want to save our relationship. How does she react? Does she want it too?
Step 4: Eventually, I would go through the Save the Marriage System and do the exercises. What can I put into practice right now?
Step 5: Finally, I would put the advice that Dr. Baucom shares into practice and document my process. How do I change? How does our relationship change? How does she react?
I think I know how she’ll react. She will tell me that she’s sorry, that she loves me, and that she never wants to leave me.
I hope your spouse will tell you that too.