Do you have any idea why making the first move is so goddamn important?
In case you don’t know, or you are not sure, or you know exactly why you should do it, but you are just too lazy/scared/naive to do what you are supposed to do, I want you to imagine the following situation:
You are in a club and you are surrounded by many sexy, tipsy and slightly retarded party girls.
Just make sure that you use a condom 😉
Due to the fact that you just came with your buddies to have a good time, you don’t plan to hit on girls. I mean, we all know that the only reason you go to a loud and uncomfortable environment in which you can find more douchebags than in a whole season of Jersey Shore, is because you want to get drunk with your friends.
We all know that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that there are literally hundreds of horny and slightly drunk girls who managed to squeeze themselves in dresses that consist of less fabric than their handbags.
While you are trying to convince yourself that the girls are not the true reason why you paid $10 to get in and $20 for a headache, you see this absolutely stunning girl sitting alone at the bar. She looks kind of bored, but the moment she looks you into the eyes your heart starts to thump and your knees transform into wobbly jelly.
Even though you stare at her like a deer caught in headlights, she signalizes her interest with a smile, before she submissively looks to the ground.
She waits until you finally put your feet in first gear and walk up to her. The problem is that you do the same. While you desperately hope that she raises her beautiful ass and walks up to you, she desperately hopes that you are not just another guy who only stares but never talks.
After you stand there for a couple of seconds she abandoned all hope.
Her inviting smile turns into a sad and disappointed facial expression, which you interpret as an obvious sign of disinterest. On your way back to your friends you wonder why she wasn’t interested, while she wonders why the freaking hell you didn’t make the first move…
Why Making the First Move is Obligatory
In case the above or a comparable scenario sounds at least a bit familiar to you, I want you to listen very carefully:
If you have the dream to become a successful Global Seducer, being the one who makes the first move is not something you can decide to do or not to do. Walking up to a girl and introducing yourself to her is not a choice you have.
You won’t get her out of her skirt unless you take a step in her direction.
Making the first move is obligatory!
Neither I nor women will respect you if you are a coward who doesn’t even have the balls to walk up to a female human being who is smaller, weaker and probably even shier than you. If you are serious about becoming better with women and if you truly want to sleep with stunning women and live and amazing life, there is no way around it.
1. Making the First Move is Your Duty as a Man
Are you a man?
In case you have a dick and two balls between your legs your answer should be “hell yeah!”
In case you have a dick and two balls between your legs, but you have never started a conversation with a woman, never introduced yourself to a woman and you never walked up to a girl you were attracted to, the answer is “hell no!”
I know that you might be angry at me for saying that you are not a man if you have never made the first move. I gladly accept your anger, because I know that your anger is just the result of your frustration about your current situation and the realization that I am right.
I also know that your anger and your frustration can easily turn into joy, happiness and sexual fulfillment, once you have accepted and acted upon the belief that making the first move is your duty as a man.
At one point he also had to make the first move…
Yes, I do care about whether or not you succeed with women. Being part of your transformation and seeing how you turn from a shy guy into a womanizer makes me happy and proud. However, the excitement, passion and satisfaction that you can provide women with when you just take this first tiny step are much more important than my pride.
Fulfill your duty as a man and experience firsthand how relieved women are when they meet a man who allows them to fulfill their duties as a woman.
2. She Won’t Make the First Move
Do you know what I did a couple of years ago whenever one of my friends (who was also too shy to talk to women) told me that I should walk up to a certain girl?
I waited.
I waited because I was convinced that she would come up to me first. I was stupid enough to believe in all those teenage movies in which the shy guy finally gets the hot girl, because she magically realizes that her abusive quarterback boyfriend is not the right guy for her. In the movies the hot girl walks up to the shy guy, tells him that he is different than all the other guys and then she kisses him.
In my pathetic life none of that happened.
I don’t even remember how many times I was just staring at a girl who revealed her interest through subtle signs. Back then I convinced myself that I didn’t have what it takes to read the usually subtle but sometimes quite obvious signs of women.
The truth was that I hoped for an interaction without facing the uncomfortable feeling of walking up to a girl without knowing if she would become the mother of my unwanted children or if her reaction would cause a laughing fit among my mischievous friends.
The one thing that I refused to accept was that none of the 12, 20, or 35 girls with whom I tried the glorious waiting tactic would ever make the first move.
3. She Expects You to Make the First Move
You can blame Hollywood for it, her female hormones or our hypocritical society that would immediately label her as a slut if she would have the cheek to walk up to a man she obviously wants to ride like a rodeo horse.
No matter how many people, institutions or old-established prejudices against female sexuality you want to blame, it doesn’t change anything about the fact that she expects you to make the first move.
Since she was a little girl the first Disney movies she watched and the first picture books she looked at conditioned her to believe in the knight in shining armor who descends from his horse and walks up to her in order to ask for her hand.
In real life this fairytale image turned into an elegant gentleman in a suit who enters the bar and who walks up to her in order to motivate her to suck his cock in the bathroom, but that doesn’t change anything about the romantic ideal she has in her mind.
All I want to say is that Cinderella wouldn’t be so popular if the prince would be too shy to walk up to the blond beauty after he finally found her stinky shoe.
She expects you to make the first move and if you don’t meet her expectations she won’t fulfill your dirty fantasies.
4. Make Her Smile, Make Her Happy, Make Her Shine
Making the first move is not only something that she expects of you. It is something that she wants so bad that her vagina screams “no, no, no!” if you don’t do it.
Of course, if she is absolutely not interested in you, she will reject you. This whole process takes about a couple of seconds and if you have learned to interpret rejection the right way, this shouldn’t be the end of the world for you.
If she, however, has at least the slightest interest in you, she will be happy like a little child in a candy store if you walk up to her and introduce yourself. Hell, even if she is still not 100% sure if she wants to put you in the friend zone or under her skirt, she will be happy that you are not one of those cowards who are strong enough to hold their drink like a protective shield, but too weak to walk up to her.
Even if only one tiny fraction of her brain mumbles “he might be a good fuck” you make her smile when you walk up to her.
To be completely honest, there is a 99% chance that you also make her smile when she is not interested in you. I haven’t yet met a woman who didn’t start to shine when a man showed her that she is desirable.
5. Give Her the Chance to Meet an Awesome Man
Making her feel desirable and brining a smile to her lips are not the only benefits of making the first move. Having the determination to start the conversation gives her the chance to meet an awesome guy.
You are an awesome man and every woman who walks past you should have at least the chance to meet you.
In case you think that you are not such an awesome dude, you either underestimate yourself or you are not the kind of guy you really want to be. Then stop making yourself smaller than you are and change your lifestyle in a way that makes it easy for you to look in the mirror and to say “I am awesome”.
In the same way as it is your duty as a man to make the first move, it is also your duty to give her the chance to meet an awesome guy like you. Anything else would be unfair and definitely not in her best interest.
6. Confidence is the Key to Her Panties
Let me ask you the million dollar question.
If you give me and yourself the right answer to the following question you have instantly answered about 50% of all the questions you will ever have about meeting, seducing and dating women:
Who gets the girl?
A: The confident man
B: the coward
Well, even though a lot of romantic comedy movies try to convince you with tooth and nail that B is the correct answer, it’s actually A. The confident man is always the once who gets the pussy, while the coward is the one who ends up watching one porn movie after another until he eventually passes out in front of his laptop.
What if you are simply not that confident?
Learn what it really means to be confident and become the fearless man you always wanted to be. If you are willing to read my articles and my book, willing to put my advice into practice and determined to do whatever it takes to achieve the things you want in life, being a confident man is definitely a realistic and an achievable goal.
What has confidence to do with making the first move?
Everything!
That’s why it’s so important that you become confident beyond measure.
You can only walk up to a woman and introduce yourself to her if you have the necessary confidence, or at least the determination to break through your fears for the 5 seconds it takes you to walk up to her.
Every woman knows that only a man with confidence has the ability to do what she fantasizes about since she was a little child. When you have the courage to descend from your white horse and look deep into her eyes before you say what you want to say, she will treat you with the respect that only a knight in shining armor deserves.
7. She Decides Within Seconds if She Wants to Sleep with You
In case you think that men are the only ones who decide within seconds if they want to sleep with someone, you still have a lot to learn. Even though men are primarily attracted to beauty, while women are attracted to confidence, charisma and emotional strength, it doesn’t take more than a couple of seconds for her to find out if you have those characteristics.
“I might be an innocent angel, but I only need 3 seconds to decide if I want to have you inside of me or not…”
The moment you walk up to a woman she already knows who you are, where you come from and whether or not you are a man she wants to spread her legs for.
That’s why I am so against the fake it till you make it tactic.
In case your target group consists of at least halfway intelligent women who embrace their femininity, they know everything about you by simply looking at your body language and by paying attention to your voice and words.
The innocent looking girl you meet in the grocery store next to your apartment decides within minutes, sometimes even seconds, if she wants to give you a blowjob two hours later. Making the first move is your way to make those first seconds count.
8. No First Date without the First Move
If it is true that women don’t make the first move, how can you attract and eventually keep women in your life when you decide to wait till she eventually walks up to you?
You can’t, you don’t and you won’t.
You can of course wait until you meet this one special girl who will make the first move and who, by all respect, is probably extremely drunk and horny, otherwise she wouldn’t do it. I think I don’t have to tell you that following this “tactic” is one of the worst ideas ever.
Without making the first move, you won’t ever have the first conversation in which she decides that getting licked by you would be a nice experience. You won’t ever go on a first date with her and as a result you won’t ever feel the joy of having sex on the first date. Of course you also won’t be able to make her fall in love with you and you also won’t end up in a perfect relationship with the woman of your dreams.
All those things will never happen when you don’t make the first move.
9. Practice Leads to Excellence
Today I am a confident young man who has the ability to approach every woman I want to approach and to attract positive and life-affirming girls into my life. In case you think that I always had this ability you haven’t read my about page.
But you have probably watched way too many videos of sleazy sales guys…um I mean master pick up artists who promised you that they became the ultimate seducer within two hours by just using this one weird technique.
I don’t say that seeing fast results is impossible.
During my last trip to Bangkok I coached a guy who transformed from really shitty with women and being dependent on bar girls into a guy who got phone numbers from professional models within two days.
After two days with me he felt like this guy
Fast success is possible, but if you embark on this journey without a mentor who takes you by his hand it can take weeks, months and sometimes even years until you reach a level at which you can confidently say that you are able to do the things you always wanted to do and that you are the person you always wanted to be.
How can you ever expect to reach such a level of excellence when you don’t even make the first move?
Acquiring seduction skills follows the same principle as building muscles or building the necessary business skills you need to succeed:
You learn a new task in theory, you put your knowledge into practice, you fall down, you get up again and you learn from your past failures.
The process to excellence is always the same. The tricky thing is that this process has to start somewhere and when it comes to putting your dating knowledge into practice, it all starts with making the first move. Making this initial first move is the only way you will ever reach a true state of excellence as a man and as a seducer.
10. You Will Regret it Later
Do you know the feeling that you get whenever a smoking hot woman walks past you and you DON’T approach her?
I am pretty sure that you know this feeling. We all do. We’ve all been in one, two or many situations in which we didn’t act upon our desires. We all remember moments in which we allowed the potential girl of our dreams to walk away from us without doing or saying anything to prevent this from happening.
“You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky
If you are really honest to yourself you regretted and maybe still regret 100% of the shots that you didn’t take. Honestly, you can’t expect me to believe you when you tell me that you don’t regret that you didn’t talk to that smoking hot girl who could be your girlfriend now.
Now that I am already in quoting mood:
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons” – Jim Rohn
It’s time to get disciplined…and of course to make the first move:
I really hope that this article inspires you to leave the pain of regret behind you and to become the disciplined man who soaks in all the information he needs, puts this information into practice and eventually succeeds in the land of women.
How would you feel if you could ALWAYS make the first move…no matter how hot she is?
Let me show you how it’s done…
Summed Up Wisdom
Why is making the first move so goddamn important? Walking up to a girl and introducing yourself is not only your duty as a man, she also expects you to do it. If you decide to wait until the girl of your dreams walks up to you, you can wait until you die. It won’t happen.
She not only expects you to make the first move, she wants you to do it. She wants to get the chance to meet an awesome man like you and giving her this chance will make her smile. A woman decides within minutes or even seconds if she wants to sleep with you and if you don’t even have the confidence to walk up to her, you don’t deserve her body.
You really have to understand that there is no first date, no first sex and no amazing relationship when you don’t make the first move. When it comes to your seduction skills, making the first move is the one thing that sets you apart from the guys who won’t ever put their knowledge into practice and who will regret this for the rest of their life.
Hey Andrew,
that’s an interesting thought and I would definitely agree with it.
follow-up comment, I remember you said in regards to guys being expected to approach or make the first move, you said it has to be done because then the girl won’t feel safe around you, so in other words, a guy who is afraid or hesitant to approach a woman or make the first move, does it mean he is also afraid to protect her or afraid of other things?
specifically, how does initiating, asking out, put a guy in control? I never understood the specific detail of how it gives a guy control
Hey John,
I also want you to go out with girls you want to be with. But even if you meet the perfect girl, no matter where, you need to make the first move 😉
Wow, you don’t think much of your fellow men do you. You admit these girls in the bars are tipsy, annoying and retarded, and you think I want to be with one of them? What low standards you have! My only duty is to do things that improve my life, and women definitely don’t do that. Today’s women have absolutely nothing to offer. A “relationship” with one is all cost and no benefit. I am in favor of keeping to the tradition that men ask women out, because then I’m in control. The last thing I want is tipsy airheads throwing themselves at me, only to accuse me of rape later. What they really want to do is empty my wallet and parade me around to their girlfriends. Well, no thank you. I will do the asking out to ensure that I only go out with girls I WANT TO BE WITH, which currently is none of them.
thats why i like to think the mating dance, courtship ritual in other animals, is much less complex compared to humans
i meant if you are turned off if a woman makes the first move by approaching you or asking you out first, but ya you are right, i’m sure the more positive experiences and feedback will train me, mold me to enjoy being the hunter, pursuer more, another thing, “In the animal kingdom, when a Male Lion comes of age he begins to make his move to acquire a female lion to breed with. If he’s unsuccessful with one group of females, he goes to another area and meets some more. Unlike us human males, a lion has to fight and sometimes kill another lion to take over the pack and territory so he can then breed with the female (s).
As a human man, you simply have to walk over and talk to women and if you’re able to get her attracted by displaying confidence, social intelligence and masculinity, then she is not only going to be interested in having sex with you, but she’ll most-likely want to be your girlfriend or wife. After you’ve had sex, she’ll fall in love with you (if you’re a confident guy and make her feel how she wants to feel emotionally”
Male Polar Bears, Grizzly Bears are like that, and Buffalos, Hippos, Elephants, Rhinos, Seals, Walruses, and many other mammals, the male has to fight another male in order to be able to mate with the female. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes i feel i’m crazy for thinking like this, it’s just that the times i wish the human mating dance, courtship ritual was like this, like the process humans have to go through in order go on dates or get a relationship, get laid, is because even though i want to avoid the “Life isn’t Fair” trope like you said, because i know life, reality is not fair.
Reason why i sometimes wish the human mating dance or courtship ritual was like that instead of having to approach and walk up to a woman, talk to a woman, is because it sounds more simple, straight to the point, and as a way to release anger and rage, stress, frustration.
Hey Andrew,
at the beginning, it’s a matter of forcing yourself but the more you train, the more successful and amazing experiences you will have. Every positive experience and feedback will make you enjoy being the hunter more. I’m not turned of when a girl makes the first move. They usually always do with eye contact and body language.
well lately i feel i have been using discipline as a way to get myself to take action and do this more often, although there are times i still hate and resent it, but my motto is, in life, part of having discipline is doing things you don’t want or feel like doing it, so i feel thats working so far, so what makes you enjoy being the hunter now? was it a matter of training and forcing yourself? and are you even emasculated, turned off if a girl makes the first move or initiates with you?
Hey Matt,
yes, I know the one way: Allow me to coach you in Bangkok 😉
Initially, I was rather annoyed by the whole thing, but now I’ve come to realize it’s not only a duty but a privilege. You get to eliminate that annoying “does she like me” or “is she just too busy to notice me” as you come over and say hi.
It’s liberating to know I get to DECIDE whether to approach someone. I’m rather good at making decisions. 🙂
What I need now is more experience so it takes me less time to decide whether to approach a girl. Only one way to get it…
Hey Andrew,
I can totally understand your frustration. I felt the same way a couple of years ago. I promise that there will come a point when you will enjoy making the first move. It takes practice but it is worth it.
There are times i wish it didn’t always have to be the mans role to approach and make the first move, and there have been times in my life i have felt angry, frustrated, pissed off, that guys always have to be the ones to approach and make the first move, sometimes even having a feeling of hatred and bitterness, resentment towards women at times, it’s a double-standard, or just feels like one in which guys are labeled weaks, cowards for not approaching or making the first move, i hated how us guys have to get labeled cowards, wimps, for not approaching or making move
What’s your opinion on making the first move?