You’re here because you want to know how to turn a female friend into a girlfriend.
This means one (or all) of three things:
I’m glad you’re here because today is the day that could change your life forever. Give me a chance to show you how to turn things around with her and you’ll have the chance to make her your girlfriend.
How can I be so sure about that?
Been there, done that. Over the years I met so many girls who wanted to be my “friend”. I put this horrible word in quotes because the real meaning has nothing to do with friendship.
That was the story of my life, until this one night changed everything.
Here’s what happened:
One of my female friends called me. She wanted to talk. She was in tears when I opened the door. Some douchebag had dumped her…the usual story. She complained that she can’t find a good guy yada yada yada.
For the first time in my life I didn’t do what she expected me to do.
Ten minutes later we were in bed.
How to Get a Friend to Be Your Girlfriend: The Brutal Truth
“Just tell her how you feel about her.”
I wish it was so easy.
I’m all for being honest. Heck, my philosophy is to seduce women with authenticity and honesty. Unfortunately, I can’t give this advice when it comes to learning how to turn a female friend into a Girlfriend.
Telling her what you feel makes it worse.
Come on. Don’t lie to me. I know that your behavior says “I’m always there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.” You made it impossible for her to see you as an attractive man she wants to date. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.
But things can change and they can change fast…
1. Remember the Actions that Turned You into Her Friend
The first step to solve a problem is to analyze it.
I know it hurts. But you have to do this. It’s the only way to find out what you did wrong…and to change your behavior. Think back to the day you met her for the first time. Maybe it was yesterday. Maybe it was three years ago. It doesn’t matter.
Now ask yourself: What did I do wrong?
Here’s what I did wrong so many times:
There was a moment when you messed up. And that’s okay. You’re here to learn. I messed up so many times that I lost count. But there’s always this one moment when everything goes downhill.
Feel free to share this moment in the comments below and continue with the next step…
2. Stop Defining Yourself as a Friendzoned Wimp
You are who you think you are.
If you think you’re a loser, you’ll act like a loser. And if you think you’re a winner, you’ll act like a winner. The same is true for the way women see you. Continue to act like a friend and she’ll continue to see you as a friend.
You can hate me for saying it but you know it’s true.
The question is:
What can you do to fix this?
Stop behaving like her friend. Make a contract with yourself. Call it the “I’ll get the hell out of the friend zone” contract. Promise yourself to no longer be the nice, obedient, and always available guy she uses and abuses.
And yes, the way women use their male friends is abuse.
Just think about how much a therapist costs…
3. Stop Using the Therapist Seduction Technique
Learning how to make a friend into a girlfriend is about changing jobs.
You’ve been her therapist for way too long. You don’t get paid anyway. Heck, you don’t even get laid. The only reward you get is a t-shirt that’s drenched in her tears.
Enough is enough!
You are no longer available. You know that listening to her same old stories and the same old problems doesn’t lead to anything. You just waste your time. It’s no coincidence that you feel like shit after every therapy session.
You’re betraying yourself.
Therapists might be good at preventing men from committing suicide, but being a therapist for a woman makes the strongest man suicidal.
4. Be Brutal When She’s Crying on Your Shoulder
Let her cry.
But don’t do what you usually do:
She knows all these things. Seriously, she knows you’re better for her. The only problem is that the way you communicate it makes her blind to reality. Sorry, but logic doesn’t work. She’s a woman. You can’t logically convince her to like you.
You can tell her all day long how perfect you are for her.
Show it! Prove it!
That’s the only way to make her see it. I’ll show you how to do it. But first, you have to stop the logic train before it crashes. No more “I’m better for you” and “I would never treat you like that” gibberish.
It didn’t work in the past and it won’t work today.
Instead, be brutally honest. Shock and disbelief are better than logic. Tell her what you really think. Tell her that you’re no longer her tissue paper, just because she chooses the wrong guys. It’s her problem. She has to understand this.
Will she be shocked?
And that’s good because you can use her emotional state in the next step…
5. Look at Her Like You’ve Never Looked at Her Before
She’s still shocked.
She can’t believe what you just did. You broke the pattern. You broke out of your shell. For the first time in her life, she looks at you and sees a real man. But don’t get me wrong.
She’ll give you hell:
Don’t worry about the insults. Let her have her little temper tantrum. The last guy she dated (the guy she cried about) was a huge asshole. So don’t go nuts when she gives you this title. It’s okay. Women react very emotional when a male friend breaks free.
Use this intense emotional reaction.
Here’s what I did with one girl while she had her temper tantrum:
I said “how do you feel now?” while I looked at her with smoldering intensity.
She rammed her tongue in my mouth. That was the moment when I was more shocked than her. Today I know that one second, one action, and one sentence can be enough to turn a friend into your girlfriend.
6. Check Her Out and Enjoy Her Reaction
What if she doesn’t kiss you?
Not every woman jumps on you when you break free. Some girls continue with the (mostly pretended) drama. Just remember that she’s only shocked because she doesn’t know what to do. It’s mostly an act.
Enjoy the show.
Don’t make fun of her. That can backfire. Just let her know that you remain unaffected by her drama. You just stand there and let her act crazy. Every dog owner does the same when his dog runs around the table. She’ll eventually stop.
But you don’t stop your transformation.
Now that she sees you as a real man, you do your best to make her see you as a potential sexual partner. I mean, you want to sleep with your future girlfriend, right?
Then don’t be afraid to be sexual.
7. Stop Touching Her Fridge and Start Touching Her
Learning how to turn a female friend into a girlfriend is about more than looking at her like The Rock and checking her out like Leonardo DiCaprio.
It’s about staying away from her fridge.
I’m not talking about having a midnight snack. You know exactly what I mean. Come on. I’m sure you’ve done one of the following things for her:
Oh, sorry. I should clarify that. You didn’t pick her up as a seducer. You picked her up in your car as her driver. This is what true friendship between men and women looks like. She gets everything and you get nothing. It’s very similar to marriage.
Here’s what you need to do:
Stop touching her fridge and start touching her!
Do this and she won’t think of you as a friend anymore.
8. Say “No” to Her When You Want to Say “Yes”
Let’s be honest.
You don’t really want to say “yes”. You couldn’t care less about watching this new movie with this overweight actress whose name I forgot. Oh yeah…Rebel Wilson. Nobody wants to see that. And you also don’t want to go shopping. You want something else.
I have news for you:
She doesn’t want to be the girlfriend of a spineless man. So take your balls, look at them, and say “no”. Stop being her driver, servant and puppy. Follow your own lead and see how fast she’ll follow you.
9. Tell Her about Melody, Brianna, and Lauren
You’re no longer available 24/7.
Now you have a lot of free time. Make use of it. Go out and meet other women. Check out my book Rise of the Phoenix and you’ll know how it’s done.
What if you refuse to read my book and these women only exist in your fantasy?
Let her know that you’re seeing other women. But don’t just blare out “by the way, I sleep with other girls”. She’ll assume it’s a lie, even if it’s true. You have to be a bit more subtle.
Why don’t you ask your female friend for advice?
You want your friend to assume that you’ve already slept with this girl and you’re just looking for advice on how to give her even more pleasure. She’ll be jealous…and so turned on because she imagines how you would please her.
10. Let Her Know that You Would Choose another Girl
This is the second part of the ultimate one-two punch to turn a female friend into a girlfriend.
You’ve reached a point where you’re in charge. The tables have turned. Now she’s begging for your attention, your admiration, and your approval. You should let her know that you would choose her...but without being needy.
Choose one of these three versions:
Who is it? Is it her? Or is it another girl. It must be her. But what if it’s not her? This will drive her crazy. She wants to be that girl. A part of her knows that you’re talking about her. But she’s still not sure.
What about you? Are you sure that she likes you?
Observe her reaction and you’ll know it with 100% certainty…
11. Observe How Her Behavior Changes
You just told her that you’re totally into this one girl.
These are all indicators that she wants to be this girl. Every reaction that’s not negative or indifferent is gives hope. Every smile counts. She might even ask you who she is.
Here’s what you can say:
“She’s such a beautiful girl and you know her really well.”
Her heart is jumping up and down. She wants you to say it. She wants it so bad. But I want you to wait because you can increase the tension even more. I once did this accidentally and I’ve used it ever since.
12. Call Her Honey and See What Happens
Call me crazy but it works.
I mean, you can tell her that she’s the girl. You can tell her that you’re attracted to her. But you can also give it this “oh shit, what did I just say?” Hollywood feeling that women love so much.
Here’s what I did with this one girl:
I had just confessed to seeing other girls. And I had told her that there’s this one girl I can’t stop thinking of. Then it happened. My mind played a trick on me. For some reason I started the sentence with “Honey, you know what I…”
I let the cat out of the back.
This was the moment she begged me to turn her into my girlfriend.
13. Take the Bait When She Throws the Hook
How did she beg me?
No, she didn’t jump on me. Instead, she threw a hook and hoped that I would take the bait. The moment I called her “honey”, her body language changed. Her smile got bigger.
I didn’t expect to call her “honey” and I didn’t expect this reaction.
But I took the bait.
- 1I walked up to her.
- 2I looked deep into her eyes.
- 3I kissed her and it felt so good.
Take the bite and she’ll bite your lips as if there was no tomorrow.
14. Lead Her from Friendship to Girlfriend
Now you know it.
You know how to turn a female friend into a girlfriend. You called her “honey” and she kissed you. She wants it to happen. She wants to be your girlfriend because you have proven yourself worthy.
Your relationship with her has changed because you have changed.
Continue to do what I shared with you in this article and continue to learn everything about getting and keeping a girlfriend.
I hope you enjoy every moment with her!
Summed Up Wisdom
Are you ready for the truth? You can’t just tell her how much she means to you and expect her to take her shirt off. That’s not how it works. Stop being so needy and stop being her therapist. She deserves the brutal truth.
And she deserves a man who can say “no”. Once you have this ability, you will look at her like you’ve never look at her before. Now you’re a man, a real man. You no longer fix her stuff and do what she wants.
No, you have the courage to check her out. You don’t care if she acts offended because you know how to turn a female friend into a girlfriend. You laugh it off and enjoy her reaction. Now you’re ready to reveal what you really think…without being needy. And don’t forget to take the bait.
Sebastian Harris says
That’s my dirty little secret 😉
Sébastien Rearden says
” I said something that made her kiss me. ” but what is it ? 🙂