In my last article I provided you with a blueprint for a happy relationship. Today I am going to share with you how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you. That’s the yin and yang principle.
It should be obvious that those two topics are closely related. In case you have put my advice from the last article into practice, it is highly unlikely that your girlfriend will cheat on you. Unless she is addicted to cheating, in which case you have to break up with her to keep your sanity, she won’t feel the need to do it when your relationship is fulfilling.
If you have read my last article BEFORE you ended up in your current relationship, you have hopefully chosen the right girl. In this case you have done the things you need to do in order to make yourself and the woman of your dreams happy.
What if you weren’t fortunate enough to stumble upon my last article and you ended up in a destructive relationship with a disrespectful girl who might cheat behind your back?
Then you should better find out if your suspicion is true.
You deserve to become a man who attracts supportive and faithful women. You deserve to be in a wonderful relationship with a loyal girlfriend. However, you can only become this man and attract this life once you get rid of the enemy in your bed.
That’s why I decided to share some of the best tips with you that are going to help you to find out if your girlfriend is cheating on you. I hope the following lines will help you to find out the truth and to make a rash decision before you end up with some nasty STD’s and alimony payments that some other dude is responsible for.
How to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You by Talking to Her
There are basically three different ways that help you to discover the uncomfortable truth. Those different ways are:
Her words, her behavior and the way she sleeps with you reveal everything you need to know in order to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you.
Let’s first have a look at what the sexy girl has to say about the signs that a woman is cheating (she is a bit slow but makes some good points), before I am going to show you how treacherous your girlfriend’s words really are when you listen closely.
She Tries to Avoid Every Conversation
Not talking to you at all is the first sign that something is just not right. The desperate attempt to avoid every conversation is a tactic that is often used by shy girl who are very bad at lying.
A notorious cheater has usually no problem to lie in your face, but a girl who isn’t comfortable with the fact that she just cheated, won’t be able to look into your eyes while saying that everything is fine.
She’ll use another way to deal with the situation and this way is called the avoidance tactic.
From the moment she touched the dick of another man for the very first time, she will stop talking to you. She is afraid that one conversation with you could smash through her emotional shield.
It should be self-explanatory that you shouldn’t play by her rule. Don’t let her get away with it. Strike up a conversation with her whenever you can. Sooner or later she won’t be able to think of an excuse to not talk to you. This will be the moment she confesses the truth while crying like a little baby.
Her Communication Style is Defensive
What if you manage to talk to her, but she is robotic enough to not cry and to not show any signs of regret?
Well, then you have to take a closer look at HOW she is talking to you. Again, unless it is the fortieth time that she has cheated on somebody, she will reveal the truth through subtle signs.
One of those signs is the communication style she uses.
Does she talk to you in the same way as she usually does or does it seem as if her voice is louder, her words are harsher and her tone is more aggressive?
In case you are not the only guy your girlfriend had sex with within the last two weeks, chances are high that she uses a defensive communication style.
She acts upset, even though you don’t give her any reason to be upset. She blames you for something that is completely ridiculous or that you haven’t even done. She changes the subject or leaves the room even though the conversation has just started.
There are a lot of ways in which her defensive communication style can reveal the truth. One of the best things you can do is to directly ask her why she is so defensive. She’ll either get even more defensive or speechless. Both are signs that something is wrong.
For more information and examples of defensive communication you can have a look at this document.
She Refuses to Talk About the Future
Do you know what I would do if I would be suspicious that my girlfriend is cheating on me?
I would ask her the following question:
“Honey, where do you see us in two years?”
In case she is struggling with the fact that she betrayed you, she will stare at you with awe.
You can wait for the answer for a long time. There is a 90% chance that she won’t be able to answer this simple question.
While it is true that women are cheating for a lot of different reasons, all those reasons have one common denominator.
No matter if she is cheating on you because she feels lonely, because she craves for attention, or because she simply needs a reason to end the relationship…
…she can’t imagine a future with you.
I know how painful this thought can be. Thinking about the fact that she can’t imagine a future with you might rip your heart in two pieces. It hurts and you probably want to avoid talking about the future, because you want to avoid this feeling of pain.
But please remember one thing:
It is better to talk about your future now and to find out that she has done things that make it impossible for you to imagine a future with her, than to catch her with another man on your tenth wedding anniversary.
She Makes Excuses that Sound Like Fairytales
Would you believe your girlfriend who has never done any sport when she suddenly tells you that she is hitting the gym?
Would you believe your girlfriend who absolutely hates shopping that she spent three hours in the shopping center before she came home?
I wouldn’t and you shouldn’t.
One way to tell that your girlfriend is cheating on you is to listen to her outrageous excuses.
If she makes excuses that sound like fairytales, you should become suspicious. If she tells you that she has spent her time doing something she has NEVER done before, you have every right to be suspicious.
I don’t say that a couch potato can’t make the conscious decision to work out regularly. That’s possible, but there is no reason to use this lifestyle change as an excuse.
A faithful woman might say “Honey, I decided to change my lifestyle and from now on I want to go to the gym. If you want you can join m., I am going at 4 pm.”
An unfaithful woman might say “Sorry that I am late, but I have been to the gym. Good night!” while she comes home without a sports bag.
See the difference?
Whenever a woman uses a new activity or a lifestyle change as an excuse for something, without allowing you to participate, you would be wise to ask her more about her exciting new hobby.
She Asks You About Your Schedule
A woman who is cheating on you might not want to spend more time with you, but she definitely wants to know how and especially where you spend your time. Of course there is only one reason why she wants to know this.
Knowing your schedule gives her the chance to call her booty call whenever you are at work, out with your friends or playing with the kids. It is on you if you reveal your schedule when you ask her. I wouldn’t do it. I would test her.
It is so easy to find out if your girlfriend cheats on you when you use her curiosity against her.
All you have to do is to tell her that you are at your friend’s place on Sunday. Now you just have to wait. You can even turn your observation into a movie night with your buddy by installing a hidden camera. Order some popcorn, two bottles of beer and don’t forget the tissues. You might need them if your suspicions are correct.
But I have to warn you. The night might end with tears, anger and images that you will never forget. Maybe you are lucky and the night ends with you staring at the screen and thinking about a threesome with your housemaid:
How to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You by Observing Her
You have tried it the nice way by talking to her and by installing an HD camera in the living room without telling her. She made up excuses, she refused to talk to you and the second you mentioned the word “future” she puked on the table.
Enough is enough. You are frustrated and angry that you still don’t know if another man was with her. It’s time for phase two. It’s time to become the 007 of infidelity investigation. Let the observation begin.
She Shows Signs of Unhappiness
In case your girlfriend used to be life-affirming, happy and incredibly supportive, but she suddenly lost all those qualities, there must be something wrong with her. A human being doesn’t just switch from happy to moody, irritable and sad without a reason. There must be something.
Maybe she is taking drugs. Maybe she has menstruation cramps. Maybe she feels bad because she has slept with three different men since the last time you told her that you love her.
You do that by observing her mood and by drawing the right conclusions. I wouldn’t be worried if she is in a bad mood for two days, but if you can see that she is struggling with something for days and weeks, you should be on alert.
She Leaves the Room When She is on the Phone
I have to admit it. Mood swings are not the most obvious signs to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you. I know that you are looking for a sing that is so obvious that even a blind Alzheimer’s patient couldn’t ignore it.
Leaving the room when she is on the phone is the sign that you are looking for.
In case your girlfriend tends to leave the room when she is talking to “her friends”, I want you to listen very carefully:
There is no, I repeat no logical reason whatsoever that explains this behavior. If your girlfriend leaves the room as soon as she picks up the phone, she has to hide something and this something is probably six foot tall and hairy.
The ONLY reason why a woman would even think about escaping from her boyfriend in order to answer a call is because she doesn’t want him to hear who she is talking to and what she is talking about. If my girlfriend would ever leave the room to pick up the phone, my alarm would go off like a freaking siren.
She Doesn’t Show Any Signs of Affection
A woman who thinks about you all day long tells you that she loves you. She hugs you and kisses you whenever she can. She shows her affection through her words and her gentle touch.
A woman who thinks about another man doesn’t do any of that. When she feels emotionally and sexually attracted to another man, the only thing she can think of is to be affectionate to him, not to you.
There won’t be any kisses, hugs and gentle touches.
If she has the feeling that her heart belong to another man, she will show you, even if she doesn’t want to. Women are highly emotional and showing signs of affection to a guy while they are into someone else is nearly impossible for them, at least for most women.
It requires at least a bit of emotional and sexual connection in order to show signs of affection without being incongruent. Mr. Bond, it is your job to detect this incongruence and to further investigate.
She Doesn’t Allow You to Check the Time
One awesome and incredibly simple way to find out if your girlfriend is cheating is to check the time. I am pretty sure you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about, so please allow me to explain.
What do you do when you want to know the time, but you don’t wear a watch?
You check the time on your smartphone. All you have to do in order to test her is to check the time on HER smartphone. If she has no calls and no messages to hide from you, she’ll be okay with it and let you pick up her phone.
What if she has something to hide?
Be ready for a loud “waaait!” or “don’t touch it!”…
This is how a friend of mine found out by accident that his girlfriend was in fact cheating on him. He really just wanted to know the time and he would have never gotten to know the truth if she wouldn’t have screamed “stay away from my phone”.
Of course that was a dumb emotional reaction that she couldn’t logically explain to him. That’s what this test is all about. The fear of getting caught will motivate her to tell you to stay away from her phone, which doesn’t make any sense if there wouldn’t be something she is hiding from you.
She Hangs Out With a Mysterious Friend
The mysterious friend is one of the most obvious signs that she is cheating on you.
It doesn’t really matter how long you are together with your girlfriend, I am sure that you know most of her friends. Let’s say you know Ashley, Tamara, Sonja and Laura, but one day she tells you that she came home late because she had a drink with Jennifer.
You ask her who she is and where she met her. She begins to stutter and to struggles for words.
Maybe I am wrong and she tells you straight away that she is one of her new work colleagues. In this case you just have to dig a bit deeper.
“Since when do you have a new colleague?”
“Why haven’t I met her yet?”
“What have you done?”
“I would love to meet her. Would that be okay for you?”
Depending on the time she spent stuttering your little interrogation will reveal if Jennifer is her new Best Friend Forever or her new Best Friend.
She Dresses Up (But Not For You)
It can be a good sign when your girlfriend is dressing up for you, but it can be a bad sign when she is doing it for someone else.
If your girlfriend loves to look good for you and you can’t even remember the last time you saw her in sweatpants, there is nothing you have to worry about when she comes home with a new pair of high heels.
However, it’s something entirely different when she walked around in sweatpants and XXL shirts for the last two years and she suddenly wears high heels, a tight dress and red lipstick.
There must be a reason for this change and if she doesn’t plan to paint your dick with her lipstick, the reason is not you.
The only thing that would be more conspicuous would be to leave the house with high heels, lipstick and a tight dress when she goes to “Jennifer”. Then you can be sure that Jennifer is not Jennifer, but Joe.
She Jumps on Your Whenever You Get Suspicious
Before I am going to tell you how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you by having sex with her, I want to make you aware of a tactic that a lot of guys are naive enough to fall for.
The last thing a woman who was unfaithful and who doesn’t plan to confess it wants is a boyfriend who finds out what she has done. You have to understand that some women are willing to do anything to not get caught, especially when this anything ends with a boom.
Yes, I am talking about sex.
When all the chips are down and when she became entangled in a web of lies she will do what she has to do to take your mind off things. Even though her body might hurt from the long session she had with her lover, she will do everything she can to bang the suspicion out of you.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys fall for this trick. Do yourself a favor and don’t allow your horniness to shut down your brain. Question why she unzips your pants one second after you asked her what she has done with Jennifer.
How to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You By Sleeping with Her
Okay, so now you know how to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you by talking to her and by observing her weird and in some cases even lesbian behavior. The only thing that’s missing now is the bunga bunga.
Yes, your girlfriend might cheat on you, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore.
Even though the thought of that has already been filled with the of another guy is anything but delicious, it might happen.
In case you are still having unprotected sex with your girlfriend, even though you are convinced that she is cheating on you, only god can help you. Anyways, the time you spend inside of her and on top of her can reveal a lot about her level of faithfulness.
She Has Zero Sex Drive
Oh, and not being allowed to be inside of her and on top of her can also be a clear sign.
I am pretty sure that you can’t get the image of moving your dick in and out of a sea out of your mind. You are welcome. However, just because some women are jaded enough to have unprotected sex with their boyfriend after they received a creampie from someone else, doesn’t mean that all women are that ruthless.
Some girls will do everything in their power to NOT sleep with you.
They do this for three very painful reasons. Let me know in the comments below which of those reasons would hurt you more (For me it’s #2):
- She is already at a stage where she feels no emotional and sexual connection with you. The thought of sleeping with you makes her sick to her stomach.
- She can’t deal with the emotional rollercoaster she is on and she is afraid that sleeping with you could lead to an emotional breakdown.
- The sex with the other guy was so good that she can barely walk. Shas to run to the fridge every ten minutes to cool her burning body and the last thing she wants is to have sex.
All those reasons can feel like a dagger in your heart, but you won’t find out which one it is unless you confront her.
She Seems Absent During Sex
Maybe she is the kind of girl who has more control over her emotions…or who hasn’t any.
Then she has no reason to not sleep with you.
To find out if she is cheating on you, you should accept her invitation. Just make sure that you use a condom (remember the sea). I also wouldn’t lick her, but that’s just a suggestion.
How can you now tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you while you are having sex with her?
That’s pretty easy.
Watch her movements.
Are they passionate or robotic?
Listen to the way she moans.
Does it sound aroused or does it sound fake?
Look her deep into the eyes.
Does she look into yours or does she look away?
At first it might be hard to concentrate on the way she makes love to you and to become aware of all the subtle signs she is unconsciously giving you while you are inside the warm and wet paradise. It’s hard, but it’s necessary if you want to know if she is really cheating on you.
She Screams Another Man’s Name During Her Final Moment
Now let’s finish this sad but empowering article with a true story that sounds too weird to be true.
The girlfriend of one of my friends or let’s better say ex-girlfriend unintentionally revealed that she was unfaithful the moment she reached the end. He was so good that something in her brain must have clicked. Instead of screaming “Christian” she screamed “Dominic”.
Well, sometimes one word is enough to find out if she was in the sack with another man.
For her it was just an intense fun, for my friend it was a lot more than that. For him it was the most intense slap in the fact you can possibly imagine. He told me that he broke up with her while he was still inside of her. I think I have to ask him if he finished.
And I have to ask you to check out my book (I won’t cheat on you, promise).
Summed Up Wisdom
It’s not that hard to learn how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you. All you have to do is to talk to her, to observe her and to have sex with her. But there are a lot of sings and signals you have to become aware of.
One sign that she is doing something naughty behind your back is that she tries to avoid every conversation. The last thing she wants to do is to talk to you and if she does it, she gets defensive and she might leave the room as soon as it gets uncomfortable. One topic that she tries to avoid at all cost is the future. Once you are in a conversation she’ll probably make excuses that sound like fairytales. The only thing she wants to talk about is your schedule.
When you observe her, you might find out that she shows a lot of signs that imply that she is unhappy. Maybe it is even more obvious and she leaves the room whenever she answers the phone or when you come near it. While you think about why she always hangs out with this new friend you have never met and why she dresses up when she goes to her, you should try to remember the last time she showed any signs of affection.
Maybe she is the type of girl who doesn’t want to sleep with you after she has been unfaithful. This can have many reasons, but the common denominator is unfaithfulness. Maybe she is the type of girl who still sleeps with you. Do it and observe her movements and her behavior. Oh, and listen closely when she comes. You might hear an unfamiliar name.
I think this is definitely something women go through from time to time! Especially right after our periods! Hope this helped!
Sebastian Harris says
Thank you, Corey.
Hey man, fantastic article. Reading through really helped ease my mind a lot, but I still have one burning question that’s been rolling over for months.
My girl and I have been together for over 5 years now and she’s probably one of the smallest and tightest girls I’ve ever been with. Sex is ridiculous every time. But there was one instance, like I said I can’t stop thinking about, where she came home a little late from work but I wasn’t too concerned at first.
We hadn’t had sex in a couple days and she wasnt particularly in the mood but after we finally got started she felt exceptionally loose and very wet. I was so pissed I don’t even remember if I finished. Afterwards we talked and she said nothing happened. I asked a few more times the following day but she insisted there was nothing to worry about.
This was the Only time she was Ever even remotely this loose. But my suspicions got worse recently. We had normal sex one night, then went for round 2 an hour or so later and she felt exactly the same way as that other night. Now I’m at wits end and don’t know what to do.
Nothing about her behavior has changed except our sex habits. But we spend a lot of time together, I doubt she’s seeing someone else but again, I can’t stop thinking about that one time.
So my question is, was she loose from another guy or is it something women go through on occasion?
Thanks again for the great article and taking the time to get back with me. I know it’s an old page, so Im not particularly anxious for a reply. Thanks.
Sebastian Harris says
Hey Daniel, I wouldn’t mention it at the beginning of the dating process. But later on, when you open up you can do it.
The rest of these comments are older, so maybe it’s too late to post. But I cheated and feel terrible about it. But my girlfriend and I have already decided to break up when I move (I’m moving to a new city). I don’t want to hurt her, so never told her.
Do you think I should? If so, why?
And, should I mention this to girls I will date in the future?
Dump her, tell her you hope she had fun with him and have a nice life, her crap will be at her mom’s or whatever.. Younger brother my a**lol
I am unsure if this is related but I am experiencing something with my wife that is troubling me, and she knows it and will not do anything about it. My wife is a cancer survivor, and thank the Lord it is now in remission. Her treatment involved her being isolated at the hospital for over a month and I was her caretaker during cancer battle and now she’s all good and i found out she has been seeing the doctor who treated her because they attended college together. I found this out with the help of a genuine hacker called BirdEye! He gave me access to her texts, emails, social media and even her own personal bank account. Now i dont think i’m ever gonna trust or stand by any woman again in my entire life…You can contact the hacker with (BIRDEYE.HACK at GMAIL dot COM). He was the only one that came through out of all the other hackers i tried to hire and his services are cheap and affordable too.
Sebastian Harris says
this is definitely an alternative.
Another solution: get over the possessiveness, grow up and understand that no one wants just one sex partner forever. Think about opening the relationship a bit. This takes maturity and self confidence, but 8t is waaaaay better than agonizing and constantly analyzing if you are being “cheated on”.
Sebastian Harris says
First of all, I’m not a doctor. Second, you should have an honest conversation with her. Don’t drive yourself crazy with some speculations. I can’t repeat it enough. You are in a relationship. Talk to each other and if she doesn’t want to, give her an ultimatum. She has to open her pretty mouth.
Sebastian Harris says
My wife went to town earlier for a pack of cigs. Got all dressed up, booty shorts, tight shirt under a dress shirt, make up etc. What should’ve taken 25 mins top took nearly an hour. I actually didnt think anything at all until she had been home 5 mins or so. Then I noticed her shirt was inside out. I asked her why it was inside out and after she fumbled her words for a few seconds she said it must’ve been that way when she left.
Sebastian Harris says
calm down and talk to her once she’s back.
My gf is in another country with her friends and one of her friends brought her younger brother along the trip(20 years old) so i called her via video call, she answers it at first then when i asked to show me her room then she started to freak out and makes stupid excuses like there’s no wifi connection like her phone dies out. Clearly lying. What do i do? Please help thanks
Sebastian Harris says
You’ve got great insights about the Article, Thanks and keep up the good work!
Sebastian Harris says
Maybe your breath stinks and she doesnt want to hurt your feelings by telling you. Tty mouthwash and see if anything changes.
Sebastian Harris says
No kisses until you get married? Sounds like a terrible deal.
Hey guys I hv a problem with my gf I n her no longer kiss she says she wana makes it special on the day I marry her.sometimes scared from being by me.n its freaking me out like hell
Sebastian Harris says
the best way to find out is by asking her. Have an honest conversation.
My girlfriend and i have been dating for months. Recently she had started texting a guy i had never seen or heard of before. The conversations were normal between them however since he is well…a very fit and handsome guy….i do have my suspicions. She even asked for pictures of her after a workout. Now this other night we ended up having sex. Now normally all is good a right, but this other night she claimed her vagina was hurting during intercourse and made me stop. Could this be from having sex with said man who may be bigger than me?
Sebastian Harris says
I’m sorry to hear that. Confront her with your concerns and see what happens. Just don’t overreact and do something you will regret later.
Sebastian Harris says
nobody should waste their time with a cheater.
The best way to find out is you have to have solid proof, maybe a card or matchbooks to bars you have never been. If shes not into you during sex, if she says she can not control what her male friends do, think about that, that male friend just did not send her a card saying I wish you were here on his own. The best way to find out is to ask her.
If things go stupid, she is, defensive behavior means she is, if she is cheating kick her out. You offer security, Take away what you have to offer.
Believe it or not forgive her, and then slam the door
You can do better