Don’t you agree that learning how to start off a good conversation with a girl online is absolutely vital for your success with women?
A couple of years ago it wasn’t that important, but now…
According to a research study published in the scientific journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest, online dating has lost its stigma. Heck, if you can believe these smart (or maybe not so smart) researchers, meeting your partner over the internet is the second most popular way of finding love…and sex.
In other words, nobody will judge you for signing up on one of these dating sites.
Okay, maybe your grandmother because she doesn’t know what this internet thing is. But your friends won’t care. And you shouldn’t care either.
How the hell do you start a conversation with a girl online?
Let me tell you something:
Believe it or not, but I learned one or two things over the years. And I’m about to share my secrets with you. I do it because I know that the first message AND the first couple of lines of this message can make or break the interaction.
Here’s what you will learn:
Let’s have a look at how to win at online dating…big time…
How I Learned to Start Off a Good Conversation with a Girl Online
How to start a conversation with a girl online…
Man, I wish I had known the answer BEFORE I embarrassed myself. Yep, I sent the creepiest messages and I didn’t do it once or twice. I messed up over and over again. It took me years of trial and error to figure this shit out.
Eventually, I stumbled upon the winning formula.
I realized some key principles that I want to share with you:
Of course, having the confidence, skills, and techniques to meet the hottest girls wherever and whenever you want, guarantees even more success. But today it’s all about starting a conversation with a girl ONLINE.
The adventure starts with one simple rule that most guys ignore…
1. Only Start a Conversation with Girls You Want to Meet
Let me ask you a question:
What’s the surest way to waste your precious time?
Don’t even think about doing that.
I know. It’s freaking tempting. Heck, when I started my online dating journey, I lived in a small German town with less than 20.000 people. I had to walk five hours to see a halfway decent looking woman.
Suddenly, I had instant access to thousands of hot girls.
I was in heaven. Unfortunately, my inability to think (all my blood went one story down) turned heaven into a self-made hell. I did the dumbest thing you can possibly imagine.
I started a conversation with every girl who was online and…
Have you ever heard of The Cheerleader Effect?
I became a victim of the effect Barney Stinson warned me about. And I wasted hours sifting through messages from girls I didn’t even want to meet.
I learned my lesson:
Only start a conversation with girls you want to meet.
2. Send Messages to the Hottest Girls
Would you start a conversation with a girl like her online?
Approaching women at the mall is not that different from approaching girls online. The hottest girls can’t find the guys they want. Somehow it’s funny. I messaged average girls and didn’t get a reply. Then I messaged the hottest girl on the site and bam…she replied within seconds.
How is this possible?
Come on. Be honest. I know what you’re thinking.
“But…but…the hottest girls get bombarded with messages, comments and attention from desperate guys. How can they NOT find a guy?”
Oh, don’t get me wrong. She gets bombarded with messages.
Here are some examples:
She can find a man. She just can’t find the type of guys she wants.
Let me show you how to do it right…
3. Don’t See Me as a Role Model
The best way to start a conversation with a girl online is to not do what I do.
Yep, I’m a terrible role model.
And no, I don’t say this because I seduce women all around the world and say no to the 2.5 kids and white picket fence lifestyle. I’m a bad role model because I’m famous for sending generic copy-and-paste messages on online dating sites.
But hey, I still got hundreds of messages from cute Asian girls.
Here’s why I do what I do:
My job is to test the site and to find out if it works.
Your job, however, is to learn how to start a conversation with a girl online, because you want to meet dozens of beautiful women…or a girlfriend.
Ignore what I do and send personalized messages.
Here’s a simple trick that makes coming up with personalized messages easier than walking a straight line…
4. Extract Information from Her Dating Profile
Her profile is an open book. You just have to read it.
Some women reveal almost nothing in their dating site profiles. Others reveal everything from their favorite hobbies, to their income, and their childhood trauma. I’m not joking. I once saw a profile with this description:
“My dad used to beat me. I hope you’re nicer to me.”
Needless to say, I didn’t start a conversation with her.
But I messaged this beautiful 19-year-old college girl because her profile provided me with more creative ideas than a Jordan Peterson lecture:
Here’s why most men fail at online dating:
They look at a woman’s profile, check out her pics, and ignore the rest. Goddammit, there’s a reason why women write shit in their dating profiles. It’s your job to read it.
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body” – Joseph Addison
Listen to Joseph and start exercising. The more you exercise the more mental muscles you’ll build. Once you’re an online dating profile bodybuilder, it will be so easy to write the perfect first message.
Let me give you some examples…
5. Make the Subject Line all About Her
It all starts with the subject line.
Don’t even think about the message. For now, focus on the subject line and try to make it as good as possible.
What does it mean to write a “good” subject line?
Try to come up with a subject line for your first message to THIS girl.
She’s a 19-year-old college student. She loves to travel and to sing with her friends in karaoke bars (not the ones with naked girls and overpriced drinks). She listens to classical music, but she’s also not against shaking her booty to the latest Kanye West son. Oh, and she’s really good at basketball, even though she’s too small to make it in the WNBA.
Come on. Try to come up with a subject line. I know you can do it.
Here are some of the lines I came up with:
Would you date Kanye West or Mozart?
I’m a terrible singer but for you I’d try my best.
Do you sing while traveling?
I’m not Stephen Curry, but I’m a total baller 😉
Do you travel when you have to study? Admit it!
These are just some ideas. The goal is to throw all the information she gives you in one pot and put the individual pieces together.
That’s how you make a perfect subject line.
6. Or Use a Really Weird Subject Line
There’s another way to make this work.
I had no idea that totally weird subject lines are such effective…until I accidentally sent one. I swear to God that it happened exactly the way I tell you.
Here’s what happened:
I wanted to start a conversation with a girl online.
Here’s the subject line I had prepared:
I really need a break now…
If I remember it correctly, I used this line because she wrote in her profile that she loves to relax at the beach and listen to chilled music.
Here’s what I ended up sending:
I really need a brake now…
As you know, I’m German. I’m not a native speaker. Words like desert and dessert are my worst enemy. Break and brake is not better.
That shit happens.
She replied within five minutes and asked me what the hell I would do with a brake. The smileys at the end of her message indicated that she liked my accident. She was curious and wanted to find out more. I got her hooked.
I had to test this on other girls...
Eventually, I discovered something:
The wackier and weirder a subject line is, the higher the chance that she’ll open it.
Here are some of the subject lines I successfully sent:
Luke Skywalker stole my peanut butter sandwich.
My eyeballs hurt because of you.
Nobody should be allowed to walk naked in a park.
I’m like a dog. Will you be my cat?
Listen to the sweet sound of this jackhammer.
You might think about calling the nice guys with straitjackets to pick me up. That’s fine. But please try a weird subject line before you make the call. It really works.
7. Leave the “Hey” Where it Belongs
Here’s how NOT to start a good conversation with a girl online:
Yep, this little word is your biggest enemy. Oh, and his sister “hello” and his naughty little brother “hi” are not better. You should avoid them.
These little fuckers mess up everything because…
Do you know how many men send a first message that contains NOTHING but “hey”, “hi”, or “hello”?
78.54% if men do it!
I have no freaking idea if this number is accurate, but I do know one thing:
If you send this type of message (I feel bad for even calling it a message), you won’t get a reply. It’s that simple. Oh, by the way: “Hey, how are you?” isn’t better. She’s fine. But she’s desperately starving for a man who sweeps her off her feet.
8. Give Your Future Girlfriend a Nickname
As a man who wants to know how to start an online conversation with a girl, you have to come up with nicknames.
Nicknames beat “hey” and “hi” every time.
And don’t even think about starting your message with “honey”, “sweetie”, or “babe”. Only creepy guys with more issues than Vogue put these words in a first message. She’s not your sweetie (at least not yet), but she might be your basketball princess.
Let’s stick to the example profile I shared earlier.
What are some nicknames you can come up with for a girl like her?
She loves to travel: Backpack Buddy
She loves karaoke: Window Destroyer
She loves Kanye West: Kim Kardashian.
She loves classical music: Mozart Muffin
Come on. You can come up with a nickname for your future girlfriend.
9. Write Your Message the Way She Thinks
Let’s continue with the message.
It’s impossible to start a conversation with a girl you met online without sending her a message. I mean, you can find out where she lives and send a carrier pigeon. But that bird might get hit by a lightning strike on the way.
It’s better to send her an awesome first message.
The question is: How do you do it?
I already told you to look at her profile and to extract as much information as you can. That puts you ahead of 97% of guys. But you want to be ahead of 99% of guys, right? Then it’s time to think and write like her.
Nope, you shouldn’t think about your period.
Instead, try to write the way she thinks:
Maybe she writes in a funny style. Copy her style.
Maybe she uses a lot of smileys. Use a lot of smileys.
Maybe she uploads half-naked pictures. Send her a dickpic.
Okay, the last one was a joke. Don’t send her dickpics. Please don’t. But the other two examples are powerful because we humans like people who are like us, think like us and yes, write like us.
You’ll connect with her faster than Trump tweets.
10. Make the Compliment as Specific as Possible
Compliments work, but they only work if you know how to use them.
Most men have no clue and OKCupid’s research proves it. According to OKCupid’s data, messages that contain the words sexy, beautiful, hot, and cutie receive less responses.
What does the logical male brain conclude?
“Compliments don’t work. Ahhhh!!!”
Calm down and wait with your “aahhhh” until she’s naked in your bed. Compliments work. But lazy ones don’t. That’s all the data says. Don’t interpret things that don’t exist. This is not a literature lessons. This is about learning how to start off a good conversation with a girl online.
Here’s what you need to understand:
Generic compliments suck. Personal compliments rock.
Look at her profile pictures and ask yourself…
Use your imagination. Don’t settle for “she has big boobs” or “her ass looks fucking amazing” in this dress. Yes, she has big coconuts and yes, her ass is delicious. But she knows that.
Here are some things she doesn’t know:
The way her eyes match her necklace she’s wearing.
How incredibly beautiful her hair looks in the light.
How her smile makes you smile and lifts your mood.
I know. The examples above sound as if I ripped them out of a romance novel for women. I didn’t. But that’s exactly why they work so well.
11. Put “Sorry, I don’t want to be rude, but…” in Front of the Compliment
Don’t ask me why it works. It does.
In case I ever find a scientific explanation for this phenomenon, you’re the first person I share it with. All I know is that it’s highly effective. I stumbled upon this secret while testing different types of messages.
The more bold and unapologetic you are, the more responses you get.
The result after countless tests:
The more reserved and apologetic you are, the more responses you get.
I think I know why…
In real life, most men are way too afraid to express their desires. That’s why generic compliments work better for daygame than for online game. Even though they still don’t approach the hottest girls (as mentioned earlier), they have the balls to tell women online that they are beautiful and sexy.
In real life, women miss bold men. In the virtual world, women miss gentlemen.
You don’t believe me?
Put “sorry, I don’t want to be rude, but…” in front of the compliment and you’ll see for yourself.
12. Let Her Know that You are in Demand
If you had told me a year ago that it’s a good idea to let girls know that you get a lot of messages, I would have laughed in your face.
“This won’t work! She’ll think I’m an arrogant asshole!”
Well, I tested it and the results are in:
If you sneak an innocent “I get a lot of messages…blah blah blah…but I want you” line in your message, she’ll want you more, not less. She might think you’re arrogant. But who cares when it works.
There’s a reason why women hunt married men.
They are in demand. Other women want them. That’s why it’s so easy to get laid as a married guy. Of course, every woman will tell you that she would NEVER do that and that she wants a man just for herself. Yeah, right.
Let her know that you’re in demand.
She’ll want to make the order and close the deal before it’s too late. I mean, you get a lot of messages and one of these girls might be funnier and prettier.
13. Turn the Information She Gives You into a Connection
You want to know how to start off a conversation with a girl online, right?
Then you need to connect with her.
The goal is clear. The strategy is not so clear.
It is totally clear and so damn easy.
All you have to do is to use the information in her profile and share your own experience and opinion. Show your singing travel-freak with the NBA posters on the wall that you love traveling as much as she does…and that you’re singing under the shower when nobody hears you.
What if you don’t have anything in common?
Let’s jump back to the first tip I shared with you. Only start a conversation with girls you want to meet. This is sooo important that it deserves three Os.
Now choose the perfect girl and connect with her by sharing similarities.
14. Avoid Religion and Politics (Unless You’re 100% on the Same Side)
There’s one more thing you should know about connecting with a girl online.
Any topic she’s interested in is perfect, besides…
…politics and religion.
Even if you have a lot of experience with religion and politics, you shouldn’t talk about it online. There is a time and a place to talk about these things. It’s usually after the third date, the second bang, and the first week of knowing you.
Don’t do it, unless you’re 100% sure that she supports the same team.
You are here because you want to know how to start a conversation with a girl online. You’re not here to seduce her in real life.
The moral of the story:
Talk about politics and religions AFTER you met her and AFTER you banged her.
15. Add a Funny P.S. to Your First Message
Don’t forget the P.S when you start a conversation with a girl you met online.
I bet you’ve never done that.
I did it once and it works. Now I do it all the time. The idea is simple and it works. Add a P.S. at the end of the message and she’ll be more likely to reply. Make your P.S. action-oriented, and your chances are even higher.
“Sebastian, what the hell is an action-oriented P.S.?”
I’m glad you ask.
Here are some examples I used in the past:
P.S. You have to reply within 24 hours to make me smile.
P.S. If you don’t reply, your laptop will explode tonight.
P.S. I really want to meet you so hit that reply button.
P.S. Reply and the clouds will turn into a beautiful sunshine.
She will reply. Believe me.
16. Lol and ALL CAPS My Ass
We’re almost at the finish line.
I thought about not mentioning this point because I’m 99.99% sure that you are too intelligent to make this mistake. But hey, there’s this 0.01% chance that you listen to some retard on some retarded blog (not mine, obviously).
Here’s how NOT to start a conversation with a girl online:
She doesn’t want to date a boy who uses lol in a message. She wants a man. And if you confuse her with BF she has no idea if you want to be her boyfriend or her best friend.
This becomes even more important when you’re starting a conversation with an exotic foreign woman on International Cupid. She’ll be confused as hell because English is not her first language.
What about ALL CAPS?
Don’t even get me started. Game over.
17. Send This Message If She Doesn’t Respond
You didn’t use any abbreviations and you didn’t tell her HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS, right?
If you follow the steps I shared with you in this article, she will reply. Of course, there’s no 100% guarantee, but your chances are extremely high.
“But what if she doesn’t reply?”
Send her a second message. This time, the message contains only one sentence. In fact, it’s one question. Yep, that’s all.
Here it is:
“Have you given up on us?”
You wouldn’t believe how many replies I got with this simple message.
There’s a reason why this simple message and dozens of other psychological loopholes and techniques work so well.
Summed Up Wisdom
Learning how to start off a good conversation with a girl is not that hard. In fact, it’s pretty easy…but only if you know the right techniques. Scanning her profile and approaching the hottest girls are two of those techniques.
And don’t forget the subject line. What about the message? Don’t start it with “hey”, “hi” and leave out all the “babe” and “sexy” bullshit. She doesn’t have time for that. She’s waiting for a guy who gives her a cute nickname.
Don’t be afraid to let her know that you’re in demand. It’s okay. And share your similarities. But please promise me that you won’t use ALL CAPS and that you don’t lol her to death. Instead, personalize your compliment and enjoy the replies in your inbox.