Do you want to know how to play hard to get with a girl? A couple of years ago I also wanted to know that and do you know what?
I eventually found out how to do it. The only problem was that it didn’t really work.
I mean, the girls definitely had a hard time to get me, but in the end I didn’t get them, because they were sick and tired of putting up with me. I behaved like an arrogant prick and I made it impossible for the girls I was dating to fall in love with me or to even like me.
Why did I behave like that? I behaved like that because I wanted to know the exact same thing that you want to know right now. I wanted to know what it means to play hard to get.
I was convinced that this was a perfect tactic to make girls chase me.
Now I could say that it worked brilliantly and that I got laid left and right, but that wouldn’t be the truth. Whenever a guy tells me that he gets dozens of girls with this technique, I simply can’t believe him. The truth is that a woman who is both beautiful and interesting is in demand and probably lives a very busy life. The last thing she wants to deal with is a guy who pretends to be an unapproachable princess.
I already said in other articles that women are very good at seeing through the masks that men put on. Women are not stupid. If they have a good body, they know that you want them.
Do you really think they believe you when you pretend to not be interested in them?
I can have them all, but I want none of them!
How to Play Hard to Get With a Girl
In case you don’t believe me that learning how to play hard to get with a girl is not the path to never-ending seduction success, I want to give you the chance to test it for yourself.
Before I am going to show you why this behavior is so stupid, I’ll give you the chance to play hard to get with the next girl you’ll meet.
Let Her Call You First
Sorry, but I have to start my list of ways to play hard with the most ridiculous advice I have ever read. This is actually from a wikihow article. One of the first tips they give is to let her call you first after you got her number.
I promise faithfully that this day will never come.
Okay, I just remember that it happened to me once that a woman called me first and I did actually end up in bed with her, but from the hundreds of phone numbers that I got in my life, this only happened to me once.
When you are really interested in learning how to play hard to get with a girl I wouldn’t give you the advice to not call or text her at all. Sure, you are definitely not as needy as a guy who sends her ten text messages within a couple of minutes, but the chance that you will ever hear from her again is vanishingly low.
Follow the Three Day Rule
In case you have watched any bad teen movie that has been filmed during the late 90s you probably know what the Three Day Rule is. In case you have never watched one of those brilliant movies, here is the explanation:
The Three Day Rule says that you are only allowed to call a woman three days after she gave you her phone number.
This is a very stupid rule, because every woman on this planet knows about the Three Day Rule.
If you however, want to play hard to get, you should follow the Three Day Rule, or even expand it to a Five Day Rule or a Six Day Rule. Why don’t you call her after one week? I am pretty sure that she won’t even remember your face, let alone your name.
While you are thinking that your amazing seduction technique will make her addicted to you, she just thinks about how amazing the sex with the guy was, who approached her one day after you but called her two days before you called her.
Hide Your Feelings
Learning how to play hard to get with a girl requires you to hide your feelings. You can’t really play hard to get if you show her right from the beginning that you want to end up in bed with her.
What does that mean for your approaches and for your dates?
Don’t give her honest compliments. This would immediately reveal that you want her. Don’t tell her that you can imagine a relationship with her. This would be way too much and way too son. And don’t ever tell her that you love her. You have to maintain your façade, even when you are already in a relationship.
“I don’t love her. I don’t cry myself to sleep and I am freaking happy!”
Hiding your feelings is the best way to make her wonder if she has a chance to get you or not. Using this seduction technique will force her to ask herself if she ever has a chance with you. Isn’t that exactly what you want? It is, but the question you have to ask yourself is:
Do you think she even wants a man who doesn’t have the courage to show his feelings?
Don’t Respond to Text Messages
What if you successfully called her after three days and she actually remembered your name and your face?
Now the texting battle begins. When I think back to the time when I wanted to learn how to play hard to get with a girl I remember that this was the most annoying aspect of my strategy.
The minutes and hours that I waited for the text messages to appear on my phone drover me nuts!
Why did I have to wait so long for a message?
Well, a woman is always the reflection of the man she is with. Due to the fact that I wanted to appear hard to get, I took my time whenever I responded to a text message.
The last thing I wanted was to appear desperate and needy, so I waited at least ten minutes till I replied. Of course the women I interacted with took me as an example and they also made me wait with their reply. It was so ridiculous and it really breaks my heart when I think about all the men who are still victims of their own games.
“Text back you stupid motherfucker!”
It is obvious that you are both staring at your smartphone. You could both write back within seconds, but because you want to play hard to get, a regular text message conversation goes on for hours and hours.
This is nothing but a waste of energy and time. However, if you love to stare at your phone all day long and if waiting is one of your favorite hobbies, you can of course try to win the texting game.
Cancel Dates
I once had a conversation with a guy at a party about playing hard to get and he seriously told me that the best way to get girls is to cancel dates. His theory was that you first tell a girl that you are going to meet her on a certain day, just to call her one day later in order to cancel the date, while you pretend that you are too busy.
Besides waiting until she calls, this was the second stupidest thing I have heard.
He then explained that she will assume that you are an interesting and busy man.
I then told him that she might think that you are busy, but that she probably also thinks that you are an unreliable man who just plays games, at least when you do this more than once. He just looked at me and hiked his shoulders.
Why Playing Hard to Get with a Girl is the Wrong Way
Now you know how to play hard to get with a girl and you also know that I am not the biggest fan of this ridiculous tactic. In my experience it doesn’t work and it isn’t worth the hassle that you have when you follow this strategy.
I don’t say that it doesn’t work for everyone. Everybody is different and what doesn’t work for me, might work for you. There is nothing wrong with trying it out.
Give it a shot and write your experiences in the comments below.
Even though it might work, I want to share four reasons with you, why I personally think that learning how to play hard to get with a girl is not the best idea if you want to seduce women who don’t have psychological issues.
It is Dishonest
If you are really honest you know that this seduction technique is not only ineffective, but also dishonest. By playing hard to get you are actually lying to her, at least when you answer the following questions with yes:
Are you attracted to her?
Do you want to get her?
Do you want her?
If you answer one of those questions with “yes”, you already know that you are lying whenever you play hard to get.
The truth is that you want to get her so bad. While you are pretending that she isn’t that important to you, you constantly think about how it would be to be together with her. While you are fantasizing about how it would be to have sex with her, you try to leave the impression that it is not really important to you if you ever see her naked.
You are lying and the worst thing is that she knows it!
I really wonder if he would touch me…
Even though a lot of men claim the opposite, women are not stupid.
When you wait three days to call her and when you always wait ten minutes to text her back, she knows why you are doing it. The only reason why she plays this game is because she really wants you. Why do you make it so hard for her?
You Don’t Allow a Connection
Seducing a woman is all about connecting with her on an emotional and on a sexual level. A guy who learned how to play hard to get with a girl has already forgotten how to connect with a woman.
This game doesn’t have room for any form of connection.
Talking about your feelings would reveal that you are really into her. You can’t do that when you play hard to get. But how can you connect with a woman on an emotional level if you don’t reveal your feelings and talk about emotional topics?
Touching a woman would reveal that you are attracted to her. You can’t do that. But how can you connect with a woman on a sexual level if you don’t touch her and if you don’t sexually escalate?
It is impossible.
Do You Really Think She Trusts You?
I already told you that the woman you are playing hard to get with knows that you just play-act. She knows that this is not your natural way of behaving and that you are putting on a mask.
Do you think that this is the best basis for a trustful relationship?
Do you really think that a girl who knows that you are playing with her in the hope to get her out of her clothes can trust you?
She totally trusts you. 100%
In order to trust you, she must have the feeling that you are 100% honest with her.
She can’t develop strong feelings when you play hard to get. As a result of this she also can’t develop the necessary trust that would motivate her to drop her panties for you.
You’ll End up With the Wrong Woman
Learning how to play hard to get with a girl can actually teach you to attract women.
“I absolutely love it when men play hard to get. Did I just cut myself?”
Unfortunately, it teaches you how to attract the wrong women.
yes, this tactic can actually get you laid, but the girl you end up in bed or (god forbid!) in a relationship with, is most likely not a confident, intelligent and emotionally stable girl.
Whenever someone tells me that he played hard to get when he met his girlfriend, I know why it worked as soon as I meet his girlfriend. The girls you attract with this method are either too stupid/too naive to see through the game you play, or they have some nasty psychological issues which makes them crave for the emotional dissonance that dating a guy who plays hard to get brings along.
I don’t want to keep you from using this tactic to attract girls, but don’t complain afterwards when you are stuck in a toxic relationship. Well, even if you end up in this situation I have the perfect solution for you.
Play “I Know That I Will Get You”
Do you slowly but surely realize that learning how to play hard to get with a girl is not best way to attract love, sex and incredible amounts of pussy juice into your life?
Great, because now we are going to have a look at what you can actually do instead. Instead of playing hard to get you should start to play “I Know That I Will Get You”.
“I Know That I Will Get You” is a game for confident, determined and courageous men. It is a game for Global Seducers.
How do you play this game?
It’s pretty simple. You behave in a way that shows the women you are with that you know that you will get her. A man, who knows that he will get her, doesn’t need to pretend that he doesn’t want to get her.
Communicate With Your Body
Showing a woman that you are interested in her doesn’t mean that you are revealing too much about yourself. With the right words and especially with the right body language you can do a lot to communicate your interest, while appearing like a mysterious seducer who she wants to find out more about.
Look at her as if you would try to undress her with your eyes. Smile in a seductive way. Stand in an upright position while you are talking to her and enjoy it when she looks up to you. If you behave like that you don’t need to play hard to get because she already wants you.
Make the First Move
If learning how to play hard to get with a girl motivates you to wait until the girl of your dreams finally calls you, you should forget everything you have learned. Making the first move shows that you are a confident guy who goes for what he wants and not that you are a wimp who is easy to conquer.Don’t confuse those two things.
“Are you just another sissy who doesn’t have the balls to say hi or are you a man? Huh?”
In fact, women assume that you are harder to get when you make the first move, than when you don’t make it.
A man who has the balls to make the first move could also approach every other woman. Every woman knows that such a man has the choice which girl he dates and that he doesn’t let every girl get him.
Be Honest But Not Melodramatic
I already told you that one reason why learning how to play hard to get with a girl is such a bad idea, is because you are dishonest and you don’t allow yourself to reveal your feelings. With this behavior you won’t be able to connect with her. In order to connect with a girl you have to be honest with her.
That’s the only way to establish trust.
It’s also the only way to connect with her on an emotional level. However, you shouldn’t fall into the other extreme by trading hard to get for melodramatic behavior.
“I Love You SO MUCH!!!”
“But you only know me since yesterday!?”
A guy who plays hard to get will never tell a woman that he is attracted to her.
A guy who acts melodramatic will tell her that he loves her before the second date.
Both guys won’t get laid.
Don’t Fall Into the Nice Guy Trap
What’s the opposite of playing hard to get?
Communicating that you think every woman who gives you a bit of attention is the love of your life. Don’t make the mistake to fall into the nice guy trap, just because you think you have to be the complete opposite of the guy who plays hard to get with women.
None of the extremes is particularly good.
You can easily communicate your interest in her without being needy and you can seduce her without playing hard to get.
Discover how I went from nice guy to successful seducer.
Summed Up Wisdom
Before you decide to learn how to play hard to get with a girl you should know that this is a terrible idea. If you wait until she calls you, you will wait for a long time and if you follow the Three Day Rule, hide your feelings, take your time with answering her text messages and cancel dates, you leave an impression, but not a good one.
You are not really honest to her and connecting with her will become very difficult if you don’t reveal your feelings for her. Every confident and halfway intelligent woman won’t trust you. As a result of that you will attract the wrong girls.
Why don’t you just communicate with your body that you are interested in her and make the first move? If you combine this with honesty and non-needy behavior, you will have a lot more success than you would have with playing hard to get.
Hey Matt,
I am glad that I could give you a new perspective.
Read the Wikihow Article and then saw this and went It wasn’t just me who thought that wikihow article was bunch of bs. Problem i am that guy that is part of the article. I’m the nice guy, every girl that pays attention to me i feel could be the love of my life, stupid i know. I also do wait the 10 minutes or so when a girl sends a msg as i don’t want to look desperate even though i am and she prob knows that. So this article has given me great perspective on what i do need to change.
I love this article. It had to be written, there is too much bullshits out there on that issue.
It may be hard to believe, but given the fact that not too long ago i was a coward, the few dates that i had were actually with girls who directly or indirectly but clearly expressed their interest to me.
So i definitely don’t believe in the hard to get strategy. Showing your attraction is attractive.
Girls love confidence and honesty, it’s that simple, it’s explained by the evolutionary psychology.
Of course if you fall into melodramatic behavior after a few days, that doesn’t show honesty and courage, it’s either that you are disturb, not able to manage your feelings, or she may think that you just want her ass and that you are using sentiments to manipulate her.