There was one thing that I wanted to learn right after I acquired some basic seduction skills.
I wanted to learn how to pass a shit test.
Like every aspiring seducer I first stumbled upon the seduction community by googling “how to pick up women”. Like countless guys before me I found forums in which men discuss different strategies in the hope to find the magic formula to seduce every woman on this planet.
One problem that I read about over and over again was the so-called shit test that girls use to terrorize poor guys all over the world. I read about guys who desperately asked for advice and who began to hate women for testing them to the bones. I even read about guys who said that this is a clear sign of disrespect and that you should get rid of her as soon as she throws at test in your face.
The more I read about this topic, the more I worried about fucking up every date because of my inability to handle those tests.
What I didn’t know back then was that all those guys who complaint and whined on seduction forums had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Please don’t become one of those guys who are afraid of every word a woman says, because they get so paranoid about whether or not they just passed one of those terrifying tests.
The more I learned about seducing women and the more girls I dated, the more I was faced with those brutal tests. At first I was afraid but after a couple of dates I realized that when it comes to shit tests, nothing is as it seems.
Why Shit Tests are Not Shit
If you think that shit tests are actually shit, you make a crucial mistake. Most women are constantly lonely, underfucked and horny.
Do you really think that they want to terrify, intimidate and emotionally destroy the few guys who actually have the balls to approach them?
They would shoot themselves in the foot if they would do that. Don’t make the mistake and think that this behavior is a sign of disinterest.
It is the opposite.
A woman who uses her words to test you shows that she is attracted to you and that she wants you. The only problem is that she loses her attraction for you pretty fast, once you react in an upset or needy way. If you decide to live your life without shit tests, you decide to live your life without women. I hope that I can prevent you from making this decision.
EVERY Woman Will Test You
Finding a woman who won’t test the shit out of you is like finding a smoking hot and sexually open feminist who loves men. It is impossible!
EVERY woman who you meet and who is attracted to you will test you sooner or later.
The only way around that is to quit the dating game and to lock yourself into your room without ever talking to a woman again. Even in a business situation it can happen that women test you. Every woman has this desire and once her instincts trigger this desire, she will bombard you with nasty words.
If you still believe that there are women who simply don’t do that, you should wake up and accept the truth. You have to learn how to pass a shit test in order to succeed in your dating life.
The good news is that women actually do you a favor by behaving this way.
She Wants to Find Out if You Are a Man
“What do you mean? How do they do me a favor by testing me in this terrible way?”
By testing you, a woman gives you the chance to prove that you are a real man. That’s all. There is no hidden agenda and there is no conspiracy theory of evil women who want to terrorize all the nice guys on this earth. The only reason why women test you is because they want to know if you are a real man or if you are just another one of those pussies who never learned how to pass a shit test.
She wants to know if you have what it takes to get inside her pussy. She wants to know if you are worth spreading her legs or not.
This is a chance and not a punishment.
If you are able to prove that you are a sexually confident and emotionally strong man, you have already passed the shit test…or maybe I should better say the manliness test.
How to Pass a Shit Test
Now let’s have a look at how to pass a shit test and how you can prove to her that you are an amazing guy who deserves to get on top of her. You already know that you shouldn’t run away, because you are convinced that her tests are a sign of disinterest.
Besides running away like a little pussy there are a few other things that you should and shouldn’t do if you want to pass the tests she throws at you.
Due to the fact that there are dozens of different techniques that women use to test your manliness, I first want to give you a theoretical overview on how you can deal with those uncomfortable tests, before we are going to have a look at some practical examples.
React Calm and Cautious
The first thing that I want to entrust you to do is to react in a calm and cautious way, whenever you are facing a situation in which a woman tests you. Learning how to pass a shit test requires the ability to control your emotions.
I know from my own experience that the tests of a woman have the power to cause some pretty intense emotions. As I’ll show you later, there are quite a few shit tests that really hurt.
Reacting calm and cautious is very important if you want to pass them.
The biggest mistake that you can make is to react in an overly emotional way. As soon as you do that she knows that you are weak and that you are unable to handle the slightest criticism. Think before you respond and you won’t make this mistake.
Don’t Ever Apologize
What’s the typical reaction of a notorious and sexless nice guy when a woman throws some nasty words at him? He apologizes.
“I am really sorry that you got this impression. That was not my intention. Can you forgive me?”
No buddy, she won’t forgive you.
She won’t forgive you for acting like a wimp and she also won’t forgive you for transforming her vibrating pussy into a dry desert.
She wants a man and not an apologetic child who is afraid that mommy gets angry at him. She wants to find out if you are a real man and a real man doesn’t apologize for something he hasn’t even done.
Stop being such a pussy goddammit!
You Have No Reason to Defend Yourself
There is another strategy that a lot of frustrated guys use when they have to deal with a woman who tests them and it is at least as bad as the apologizing strategy.
Isn’t it very offensive when a woman tests you? Isn’t it a personal attack when she behaves like that?
No it’s not, but a lot of guys think that it is an attack.
What do we human beings usually do when we are getting attacked?
We either run away (I already said that you shouldn’t do that), or we start to defend ourselves.
It is honorable to defend yourself against a drunk guy who attacks you and your girlfriend. This is a real threat that requires you to defend yourself. However, it is less honorable if you think you have to defend yourself against a petite woman who said one or two words that irritated you a little bit. That’s not a real threat and it also doesn’t require any defense. The only thing you show when you are starting to become defensive is that your self-confidence is so incredibly low that you break down in tears when a woman says something to you that puts you on the spot.
That’s neither manly nor attractive.
A real man doesn’t get defensive when a woman tests him.
A real man who learned how to pass a shit tests knows that this is a chance to seduce her and not an attack.
Ignore it Completely
There are different ways of reacting to what she says. You can either give her an answer or you can simply ignore whatever she said. I think that responding in an appropriate way is the better way to deal with it, because it spices up your conversation and it proves that you are quick-witted. However, I also used the ignoring tactic when the stuff that the girl who was sitting next to me said was just plain stupid.
How do you ignore her shit tests?
That’s pretty easy. Just do nothing. Let her say what she has to say and continue with the conversation as if nothing happened. Don’t even bother to answer her question or to dwell on her statement.
The only answer she deserves is a confident smile.
Not reacting on her verbal diarrhea can be a sign of confidence, but she could also interpret is as a repression impulse. Be careful to not leave the wrong impression.
Give Her a Cocky Answer
What’s even better than ignoring her words?
React in a way that she doesn’t expect and show her how confident and cocky you are. Give her an answer that shows that you don’t take any of her words personal and that you are not offended at all.
She has to understand that her tests are a nice try but that they don’t work with you. They might work with the insecure guys she dated before she met you, but they won’t work with you. Show her in a humorous way that you are too confident to give a shit about what she says.
Let’s have a look at what you could say to her, depending on what kind of shit test she will torture you with.
Examples of Shit Tests and Possible Answers
Learning how to pass a shit test is like learning to prepare yourself for a vocabulary test without knowing which words you have to remember. Those tests come in all variations and I am pretty sure that you will experience situations in which you think “did she honestly just say that?”
During the last couple of years I also had quite a few moments in which I thought that there must be some hidden camera or that the woman I am talking wants to take the piss out of me.
We will both face a lot of different shit tests in our life.
I just want to help you to react in an appropriate way when you are tested. That’s why I want to give you possible answers to the shit test that I heard the most. I am 100% sure that you will have to pass similar tests as I had to pass. After this article you will be prepared for the worst.
Do You Say This to Every Girl?
I heard this over a dozen times. A girl who you approach in a direct way knows that you don’t do this the first time and she knows that she is by far not the only girl you have ever approached. It’s very easy for her to test you within the first few seconds of meeting you.
What do you respond to such a question right after the approach?
Don’t even think about defending yourself by saying that this is not true and that you have never done this before. No woman who has at least one brain cell will believe you.
How about the following answers:
“No, I don’t do this with every girl. I only do it with blond girls with green eyes who wear a red dress.”
“A little bit more self-confidence please. I think you know that you are not comparable with the other girls.”
“I only do this with girls who hit on me first. I am pretty sure you smiled at me.”
All those answers show that you have humor and that you don’t take her words and yourself too seriously. and of course, you can find a lot of additional conversation techniques to attract women in my book Rise of the Phoenix.
Why Don’t You Buy Me a Drink?
Oh, I love this one.
In case you know from my “not paying policy”, you will understand why I love this question so much. I live by the simple rule that I don’t pay for a girl’s drink and I also don’t pay the whole bill on the first date. I do this even in countries like the Philippines.
So whenever a girl tells me that I should buy her a drink I respond with a question.
I either say:
“Why should I?”
“Why don’t you buy me a drink?”
Whenever you respond with the first question she will usually say “because I am beautiful”. Seriously, 90% of girls use this line. Just look around the room and tell her that there are so many beautiful girls and that you want to know why she is so special. Congratulations, you are in the conversation.
Whenever you respond with the second question she’ll probably just look at you with a puzzled facial expression, or she’ll say “hah, why should I do that?”. Just tell her that she was the one who wanted the emancipation and that she has to deal with it now. Now you can find out if she is a feminazi or not.
Sorry, but You are Too Small/Tall/Old/Young
When I was in Belgrade I approached a girl in a nightclub and when I made clear that I am attracted to her she just looked at me with a dismissive glance and said “you look like 15. No chance!”
Well, all I could think of was “challenge accepted”!
I just said “It’s because of all the delicious pussy I am eating. It prevents me from aging.” I know that it sounds pretty reckless but it worked. Ten minutes later we were making out. She wanted me from the moment I looked into her eyes. She just wanted to know if I am a pussy or a man who deserves to kiss her delicious lips.
Whenever a woman tells you that you are too “insert insulting adjective here” you have to show her that you don’t give a fuck.
“I know that I am smaller than you. We look like we are made for each other.”
“I usually date girls my age but I am so generous that I make an exception with you.”
“I hold the key to eternal youth. Our kids will live forever.”
How Many Numbers Do You Have in Your Phone?
In order to learn how to pass a shit test you have to be willing to survive more than the first five minutes. You might get the next test when she types in her number. I often experience that girls ask me how many numbers I have in my phone.
They don’t want to be seen as just another number. However, if you are exaggerating it by telling them with a serious face that she is the first girl who ever put her number in your phone, she won’t believe you.
She knows that you did this more than once.
I know some better answers:
“Well, I have the number of my mother, my sister and even from my dog Betsy. Yours is the only one that’s missing.”
“I just got that phone yesterday. Since then I only met 13454 girls who were willing to give me there number.”
I Bet You are a Player
Up to this day I heard the player test about three times. It is always funny when women tell you that they think that you are a player. On the one hand, they hope that you are not a player, because they might be interested in a relationship. On the other hand, they hope that you are a player, because having this reputation is extremely attractive.
It doesn’t really matter if you give her the feeling that you are a player or not. Just give her a cocky answer and let her imagine who you really are.
She will idealize you and create an ideal picture of you in her mind.
What can you say to her?
“You think I am a player? Before I met you I was married for ten years. She even took the dog.”
“Would you prefer that I propose right now and promise you to love you forever? No, then I guess it’s okay that I am a player.”
“If I am a player you are an innocent angel. Wait a minute. Are you? “
Hold My Bag for a Second
This happened to me with a few women. Sometimes they wanted me to hold their handbag, sometimes it was their shopping bag and one woman even asked me if I can hold her sandwich, which made absolutely no sense.
I hope I don’t have to tell you that a woman who wants you to hold her handbag doesn’t want you to do that because she is too weak to carry it herself. I mean, when you are not around she also runs around with this thing the whole day.
The only reason why she does this is because she wants to find out if you are a potential lover or a potential slave.
In case you want to become her lover, you might want to say the following things:
“You are a strong and independent woman. You don’t need me to hold your bag.”
“Look at your biceps. You can do that. I believe in you!”
“I understand it if you would ask me to hold your bag when you have to fasten your shoes. I am waiting.”
In case she really has to fasten her shoes you can of course hold her bag for a second, but don’t forget to give it back to her once she is done.
I Expect that the Guy Pays on the First Date
I love this one as much as the “why don’t you buy me a drink?” question. As a man who wants to learn how to pass a shit test, you have to learn how to defend your wallet. There are some women who really want your money, but most girls just want to find out if you have the balls to keep your cash.
I only experienced it once that a girl told me that she expects guys to pay for her date. How did I react? I looked her deep into the eyes and said the following words:
“I also have a lot of expectations. Sometimes they come true, other times they don’t. Change your expectations and we can have an amazing time.”
I know that it sounds a little bit cheesy, but somehow it impressed her. After we had sex she told me that I was the first guy who didn’t answer with “of course I will do that”.
Guess in which zone the other guys landed?
In order to not land in the same zone, you should practice passing shit tests. My colleague Badboy made a short but very practical video that helps you to do exactly that:
Summed Up Wisdom
Before you can learn how to pass a shit test you should think about what a shit test really is. Women who test you don’t want to torture you. All they want is to find out if you are a real man and if you are worth spreading their legs. Unless you quit the dating game, you won’t get around learning how to pass a shit test. The woman who won’t test you doesn’t exist.
Instead of apologizing and defending yourself, you can either ignore her statement or you can react in a cocky and funny way. As long as you react calm and considerate, giving a cocky answer is better than not saying anything.
Sebastian Harris says
Try to meet up with her again and act differently around her…just like I describe in the article.
One more thing, the night that the weird mood started or test whatever you call it. Still ended up having sex lol..and she seemed fine and cool. I even asked her. Did that take you out of the weird mood? She said yes but next day started it up again..
So I’ve see. This girl for a month. We met in a bar, we were both drunk. Go figure lol. But we exchanged numbers hung out, we’ve hooked up 4 times. The other day she just randomly started acting cold towards me. Uninterested, annoyed, distant, was saying childish rude remarks towards me. I’m almost positive it’s some sort of shit test. I’ve dated lots of women but honestly I’ve never really noticed tests atleast one like this. I wasn’t entirely thinking. I definitely fucked up, I played the whole nice guy act. “What’s wrong” “what did I do to you?” That only seemed to piss her off more..then it dawned on me.. she’s testing you stupid..I’m not sure if it’s recoverable or not considering I’ve dug myself deeper into the shit and managed to come off as needy. I do like her, I’d like to continue seeing her. But if it was to not work out, there’s I know plenty more out there. Any advice would be great!!
Sebastian Harris says
if you didn’t test him, he had no reason to use the replies. Everything good.
There must be separate sets of rules for having an actual relationship and just getting sex. I don’t recall ever “testing” the man who would become my husband (although I will ask him), although I did observe him and take note of how he treated me and other people. But if he’d given me any of the snarky (read: jackass) lines you listed above, I wouldn’t have dated him long, much less married him. Guys that make me feel stupid don’t attract me. He would have been courteous enough to hold my purse if I’d asked him (as a gentleman would), but I wouldn’t have considered him my slave. I still don’t even though he does things all the time that I ask him to do. And here we are married 17 years and I still respect him. Go figure.
Marie St. Claire says
Yes, Run. RUN FOR THE HILLS. That right there is a woman who will bag you, tag you and hang your carcass over her mantle.
Sebastian Harris says
sure, everyone meets such a girl sooner or later.
Here’s what you should do: Run!
Marat S says
How to deal with a materialistic test?
A girl says that I’m not of her league due to the lack of car/own house/fat bank account and personal tailoring clothes. I know it’s a challenge, I know she’s trying to summon the earthquake under feets of my self-esteem. Yet, how do we pass it?
I bet many guys, you included have encountered with that type of behavior.
Sebastian Harris says
Avoiding women who want to play games is one of the tips I give over and over again. But every woman will test you at some point, the good ones and the bad ones. All I want is that you are prepared for the good ones.
You have this idea that men will do anything for sex. Not true, and it’s very condescending. I am testing too, and if a woman reveals she is a slut then I’m done. And yes, I practice what I preach. I’d rather be single than play games with stupid, slutty women who think they can get whatever they want.
Neither answer will necessarily get you layed.
The second answer will continue the conversation because it is short, confident, and doesn’t relate to reality. He could still drive the conversation to a threesome with them.
Sebastian Harris says
both were good answers.
“When I was a graduating senior, two of my girl classmates ask me; If I had a girlfriend would I invite her to come sex with me? then I responded some how with confidence; Of course! I would do that however, if she rejects then i won’t force her though. And they were nonchalant about my answer. Then they asked the same question to my seatmate and he responded with total confidence; No! because I only love her and the two girls were like; wooo very niceeee answer.” I just want to ask if one of us pass this shit test or neither of us.
haha the answers are very funny