Imagine the following situation…
On the way to work you see a gorgeous looking girl. The moment you see her, your heart starts to race. You can’t concentrate on anything else than looking at her. She and her delicious booty walk towards you. The closer she comes, the more excited you get.
The moment she walks past you, you take your courage in both hands. You look her directly in the eyes and guess what she does…
…she smiles at you.
Because you are a loyal reader of this website it is extremely easy for you to approach her, to seduce her and to date her. Your first date is great and your second date is even better.
On the third date you invite her back to your place. You tell her that you want to watch a movie with her. Of course you both know that watching a movie is the code word for sex. She agrees and everything could be perfect.
The evening before she promised to come to your place you get a mental breakdown. Your fear of losing this incredible girl is too overwhelming. You are desperate.
You start to cry.
“What if I can’t get it up and she leaves me?”
“What if I come after a few seconds and she laughs at me?”
“What if, what if, what if…?”
You dial her number, trying to hit the keys with your sweaty and shivery hands. You make up an excuse and tell her to postpone the date. We both know that you will postpone it forever.
In case you have ever experienced such a situation or are afraid of experiencing it in the future, you have to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.
How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Why It is a Problem
Why is it such a big problem to have sexual performance anxiety?
Well, one thing that you have to understand about anxieties is that they act as self-fulfilling prophecies.
I have a good friend who is terribly afraid of failing. This fear is killing him. As a result of this he never even tries to accomplish anything in life. Starting a business in which you could fail horribly doesn’t even exist in his reality. Eventually, this fear of failure supports his failure in life because he never even tries to succeed. Never trying is the biggest failure of all.
The same is true for every other anxiety. If you want to beat your sexual performance anxiety you have to understand that the fear of underperforming will eventually lead to an extreme underperformance during sex. All the things that you are afraid of will become true, because you are focusing all your thoughts on them.
If you are afraid of not getting it up, you can bet one million dollars that you won’t get it up.
What You Think is Irrelevant
Another thing that you have to become aware of is that the reason for this fear that you have in mind is actually completely irrelevant.
Please be honest with yourself and think about the following question:
What are you really afraid of?
If you are really honest you are not afraid of having a limp dick. What you are really afraid of is the consequence of this limp dick. You are afraid of girls laughing at you and running away from you. Am I right?
What if I tell you that there is only a 1% chance that this consequence will become reality.
It is actually no big deal for a woman if a man comes too early or if he can’t get it up.
I talked with a lot of women about this issue. They all told me that they know that many men have those fears and that it is no problem if it doesn’t work once in a while.
I know that you have been conditioned (hello porn!) to believe that you have to perform like James Deen whenever you are in bed with a woman. This is not true. Most women are extremely patient when it comes to sexual problems of men.
Even though being afraid of women who run away while they scream “you looooser!” is nothing but a nightmare that never comes true, there are indeed reasons why learning how to overcome sexual performance anxiety is absolutely essential.
You Will Never Feel Like a Man
I know it sounds brutal but the truth is that you will never feel like a real man when you have too many fears that are related to your sexuality. It is simply impossible to feel like a self-confident man if you are always afraid that you can’t get it up.
Unless you learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, you will have a hard time feeling amazing in your skin.
Knowing that you are an emotionally and sexually confident man is absolutely essential if you want to live a fulfilled life. Continue reading this article will not only teach you how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, it will also indirectly teach you how to be a confident man who loves himself and his own sexuality.
You Will Sabotage Yourself
Do you remember the story that you should think of at the beginning?
Do you remember how you should imagine being in a position where you are so desperate that you cancel a date that has the chance to end in sex?
You should remember it because that’s exactly what will happen to you if you decide to NOT learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety. The biggest problem is that once you suffer from this fear, you will sabotage every little step that could possibly lead to sex.
I think I don’t have to tell you that self-sabotaging behavior knocks out all the hard work and dedication with which I want to help you, inspire you and motivate you.
I think I also don’t have to tell you that such a condition makes learning how to seduce women completely impossible.
You might have all the knowledge and skills that you need to become the most successful seducer that has ever walked on this earth but your mind will make it impossible for you to ever put your knowledge and skills into practice.
Without facing and rethinking your self-sabotaging behavior, you might know what it takes to be a Global Seducer, but you will never actually become one.
I can’t let this happen.
The Bull**** I have Read Online
Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of guys who give advice online can let this happen.
As I had to find out, the most common advice on this topic is plain wrong. I have no idea if it is purposefully wrong because they have some advertisement contracts with therapists and pharmaceutical companies, or if they simply rehash the same bullshit that everybody else says.
For me it is important that I don’t write about something that is already out there. That’s why I always do my research before I write an article. If I would find an article from a guy who would write about the topic in the same way as I would address it, I would simply link to him. I (and Google) don’t see the need for duplicated content on my site.
However, the more research I do, the more I am shocked about the mainstream advice that is out there.
This article isn’t an exception. I have done my research, I have found some articles on the topic and I was shocked about the lies…umm tips they offer.
Let’s have a look at some of the most popular mainstream advice on how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.
Please note: Don’t do this shit.
One thing I read over and over again is that you simply have to distract yourself while being in bed with a woman.
What a great idea!
I bet every woman is totally happy when she is in bed with a guy who suddenly turns on the radio or the television because he thinks that this helps him to get a boner.
Even if you are successful with this tactic (please tell me if you are) you will transform the lake she had between her legs into a desert, once she sees another terror attack in the news.
I also think it is fascinating that all the couples therapists and counselors give the tip to put on romantic music. As far as I am concerned my libido suffers from a plane crash once Rod Stewart belts out one of his love songs.
Another tip I read quite often was that you should massage the girl you are with, if it doesn’t work down there.
I have to admit that this advice is not completely wrong. In case you do this once it is absolutely fine. In case you do it twice it is also okay, but if you do it more than two times in a row she might start to google “how to get an orgasm during a boring massage”.
Massaging a girl is an essential part of the foreplay but it can never replace sexual intercourse.
Smiling at her while you slide with your limp dick up and down her back is not the most pleasurable experience that a woman can have. All you do with this “ultimate massage technique” is to avoid the big elephant in the room while pretending that everything is so romantic and absolutely fine.
Sorry my friend, but suppression doesn’t solve the problem.
Talk to a Therapist
Why don’t you talk to a therapist? Ouch!
Before you decide to spend all your hard-earned money on a therapist who tells you in endless sessions that you have problems and that you have to solve them (duh!), you should think about what therapists really want.
I studied psychology and my biggest passion is to help men like you to live amazing lives with gorgeous women.
Therefore, I promised myself to never become a therapist in the classical sense.
Why don’t I want to become the next Dr. Phil?
Because I learned during my studies what you have to do in order to become a successful therapist. The key to money in the therapeutic industry is to make the patient addicted to your therapy in order to prolong the healing process ad infinitum.
The last thing that a classical therapist wants is to heal you. This would be the fastest way to lose you as a client.
No client, no money. Think about it.
How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Heal Your Self-Image
Now that you know what you shouldn’t do if you want to overcome sexual performance anxiety, it is time to have a look at what really works. In one aspect I totally agree with what leading psychologists say. I am also convinced that one of the main reasons for this fear is a negative self-image.
If you would believe that you are desirable and that every woman loves to have your dick inside her mouth and all her other holes, you wouldn’t have the fears that you currently have.
A man who is completely at peace with himself, with his body and with his penis wouldn’t waste one second of his life thinking about whether or not he can get it up in the next couple of minutes.
Negative thoughts always need a negative platform to emerge and to flourish. The key to an amazing sex life without limiting beliefs is to take away this negative platform and to offer your mind a positive platform that allows you to breed positive thoughts on it.
Learn to Love Yourself
Self-love is one of the most underestimated aspects of manhood. I have the feeling that whenever you mention the words “love” or “self-love” a bunch of self-proclaimed alphas think that you are a gay beta male who is so weak that he has to talk about girly things like emotions and feelings.
If you think that I am a gay scumbag for mentioning the word “self-love” I feel really sorry for you. You will have a hard time becoming the man you want to be.
A deep feeling of self-love is absolutely essential if you want to feel amazing in your body.
What does that have to do with learning how to overcome sexual performance anxiety?
Well, your penis is also a part of your body and unless you love the rest of your body you won’t be able to love this small (sorry, big) part of your body. A man who doesn’t love himself also doesn’t think that women desire his dick or any other part of his body. With this belief nervousness and insecurities in regards to sex are preprogrammed.
How do you develop a feeling of self-love? First you have to accept your current situation, then you have to rethink your negative beliefs and finally you have to replace your negative beliefs with positive ones.
However, sometimes this is simply not enough. Sometimes you need to change your inner game on a fundamental level.
Become The Terminator
I know that the golden rule for giving advice that people love is to schmooze them and to tell them that they can achieve everything without raising their lazy ass from the couch.
Guess what I think about this rule?
I don’t give a shit about it because I am here to help you to improve your life and as someone who is dedicated to improve his life you have to be willing to put in the work. Forget about the easy way out.
The road to success isn’t paved with candy floss.
Let’s assume that you are 100 kilo overweight and need ten minutes whenever you want to raise your fat ass from the couch seat in order to go to the toilet and shit more like a rhinoceros.
Can you honestly learn to love yourself when you look at a guy in the mirror who can’t even breathe? No wonder that you have erectile dysfunction if the fat in your body squeezes the blood vessels to your dick.
You know exactly what you should do in order to love yourself and to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.
Lose weight, go to the gym and become the terminator.
How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Rescue Your Sexual Energy
Now that you gave your body a new lease of life it is finally time to heal your sexual energy. What do you say? You are a sexually confident guy who has no issues at all with his sexuality.
In case you come faster than the road runner says meep meep and you lose your erection whenever a girl takes of her panties you can tell this your grandmother but not me.
I would say that about 90% of men, probably even more, have certain disturbances in their sexual energy, that makes it impossible for them to enjoy sex and to be sexually confident. A couple of years ago I was one of those guys.
I remember how I jerked off to porn as fast as I could because I was afraid that my parents would catch me. I also remember how I always felt guilt about wanting sex because everywhere I looked I saw angry feminists complaining about how degrading it is to regard women as sex objects.
It was my destiny to end up sexually frustrated. Fortunately, I learned how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.
Stop Watching Porn
What’s the easiest way to completely ruin your sexual energy? Masturbate to porn movies. Do you know an even more effective way to ruin your life and your ability to perform in bed? Do it a lot.
I think it is not wrong to claim that the majority of men are addicted to pornography.
A few years ago I was one of those men and I could kick myself in the balls whenever I think about how many countless hours I’ve wasted for nothing. Fortunately, I eventually put a stop to my excessive porn consumption and learned to use my sexual energy to build something meaningful (for example this website).
There are so many negative consequences of extreme porn consumption and I will definitely write an article about this topic in the near future. For now I want to share the number one reason with you, why watching porn makes it impossible to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.
By watching all those porn actors who are hung like horses you automatically assume that your dick is too small. By watching how those guys fuck a woman for hours you automatically assume that you come too early.
Using male porn actors as role models for sex is the most toxic thing that you can possibly do.
Stop watching porn and start having real sex.
Overcome Your Sexual Guilt
Now that you know that you should quit porn and start having real sex, you should ask yourself if you even want to have sex with a real woman. You probably think that this is the most retarded question that you have ever been asked but you don’t believe how many men think they want sex, while they do everything to not have it, because they are too scared.
In case the idea of having sex with a beautiful woman makes you feel anxious and not excited, you probably have a problem with sexual guilt.
Don’t worry, the majority of men thinks (most of the time subconsciously), that the desire to have sex is something bad.
Somehow this is logical. Whenever we switch on the TV we see angry feminists who condemn male sexuality and who say that the desire to fuck a woman is comparable to the desire to rape her. No wonder sexual guilt is a constant companion of many men.
Unless you realize that sex is something beautiful and that your male sexuality is a good and powerful energy, learning how to overcome sexual performance anxiety will stay an unfulfilled dream.
How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety: Train Your Penis
Now that you got rid of your sexual guilt you hopefully won’t have any problem to admit that you have the desire to put your penis inside a vagina (or several vaginas).
Are you ready to talk openly about preparing your dick for the close combat in the wet war?
Even if fumbling around with your sausage is one of the topics that you probably don’t even discuss with your closest friends, you have the compelling chance to discuss this topic with me now, or at least to read what I have to say.
As we all know, reputable men don’t feel the desire to touch their penis. Well, that’s bullshit.
We all have the desire to play with the thing between our legs. Some men have this urge a little bit more than others but all men do it.
I have never believed one of those notorious nice guys who claim that they don’t masturbate. Everybody knows that this is a lie, especially the girl he tries to impress with it. The only difference between men who have learned how to overcome sexual performance anxiety and men who only train their dick in front of a laptop, is that the first category of men learned how to transform their weakness into their strength.
I already told you that you should quit porn movies if you want to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety. If you think I will take back what I said you would crow too soon. I stick with what I said. Nevertheless, I have to say that masturbation for itself is a very positive pastime, at least when you do it in a certain way.
Instead of masturbating as fast as you can to some blond silicone bitch on a screen you should start to practice mindful masturbation.
I already hear you mumbling:
“What the fucking hell is mindful masturbation? Not another New Age bullshit!”
No, it is not another New Age bullshit and the only reason why I called it mindful masturbation is because it…
A: sounds cool.
B: is a form of meditation that needs you to be mindful.
What are the benefits? You can teach yourself to prolong your orgasm, you can increase your ability to get hard and you can become more relaxed during sex.
All you have to do in order to achieve this condition is to take your time while masturbating. Don’t masturbate with any images in your mind. Try to only feel the touch of your hand and make love to yourself as if you would be the hottest chick on this planet (just don’t start to finger yourself).
The more you masturbate with the purpose to relax and to enjoy the process, the more relaxed and prepared you will be once it is time to plunge in the sea.
Strengthen Your Dick
Besides masturbating like a world champion there are dozens of exercises that you can do to strengthen your penis. Doing those exercises on a regular basis will eventually teach you how to overcome sexual performance anxiety.
How can this help?
By making certain exercises your penis will become harder and you will gain more control over it. Because mentioning all those exercises would go way beyond the scope of this article, I will share one with you that I used to pump my dick without using steroids.
Whenever you have an erection you can simply lay a wet towel over your erected penis. Simply lift this towel up and down a few times and feel how your penis gets stronger. It is the same as if you would lift a dumbbell in order to train your biceps. Do this every day and you will see that this little exercise has the power to eliminate your erectile dysfunction forever.
In case you are interested in learning other techniques to strengthen your penis, this article might be interesting for you.
Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety with Naked Women
Last but not least I want to talk about a way to overcome your sexual anxieties that might sound too crazy for you to try it out.
I could bet that leading therapists who want your money would say that this is the last thing that you should do.
The only difference between those leading therapists and me is that I suffered from performance anxiety a few years ago and there was one thing that helped me more than anything else to finally become a fearless warrior in the sheets.
Every anxiety that you have in regards to sex is always closely related to an extreme form of nervousness and insecurity in the presence of naked women. I have never met a guy who suffered from erectile dysfunction who is completely calm and relaxed in the presence of a naked woman. I also never met a guy who has premature ejaculation issues, who isn’t extremely nervous when you just talk about naked women.
You can call me crazy but I know from my own experience that one of the best ways to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety is by surrounding yourself with naked women. As soon as your brain gets used to nude women in your life, you won’t feel any nervousness anymore around naked girls. Congratulations, you are healed.
The Socially Accepted Way
Let’s first talk about the socially accepted way of surrounding yourself with naked women. If your insecurities and fears are really profound you can go to the gym and get used to half-naked women. However, you should soon accustom your brain to completely naked girls.
Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Have you ever been in a mixed sauna? (In Germany we have a lot of them and if you are not naked you will be seens as a weirdo)
These are activities that you can do without sinning against the rules of our society. However, there is one thing you can do that is better than the things that I have just mentioned.
The Controversial Way
Are you ready for the best way to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety by surrounding yourself with naked women?
Go to a brothel!
Yes, you heard right. The fastest way to familiarize your brain with hordes of naked women is by going to a brothel. Don’t get me wrong. I gave myself the promise to never pay for sex and I still adhere to this rule.
When you think that I give you the advice to fuck a hooker, you are wrong.
All I want you to do is to go in there and to surround yourself with naked woman. If you really have sexual fears, this will be quite a challenge for you. For me it was also a challenge when I did this exercise about two years ago.
I went to one of those FKK Clubs in Germany where you don’t even have to pay an entry fee. I got in for free and after one minute I was surrounded by more than ten women who walked around completely naked.
Do this three times and your nervousness and insecurity around naked women is gone. As a result of this you won’t even remember that you once had sexual performance anxiety.
Do you want to know dozens of more controversial seduction techniques and self-improvement tips?
Summed Up Wisdom
How to overcome sexual performance anxiety? First of all, you have to understand that having sexual fears will make it impossible for you to feel like a real man and will motivate you to sabotage yourself whenever you can. What you should also know is that a lot of the mainstream media advice is plain wrong. Massaging her, talking to a therapist and trying to distract yourself are not real solutions for your problem.
What are real solutions? Healing your self-image by learning to love yourself or by designing your body the way you want it to look like are solutions. If you want to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety you should also rescue your sexual energy by stopping your porn consumption and by overcoming your sexual guilt.
Training your penis through mindful masturbation and strengthening your dick with different exercises will also take away a lot of your fears. One of the best and probably also one of the weirdest ways to learn how to overcome sexual performance anxiety is by surrounding yourself with naked women. You can either do it the socially accepted way in a sauna or the controversial way by visiting a brothel with a lot of beautiful naked women.