Don’t you also want to know how to not be needy when dating?
I asked myself this question over and over again.
I wanted to solve the mystery after a two-week “relationship” with Lisa. She dumped me because I was the clingiest guy she ever met. These were her words. The same happened with Sophia. She sent me one last text message.
I fucked up again. All my friends had girlfriends who didn’t dump them after two weeks. What did I do wrong? I didn’t know what to do. Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. Maybe you just lost a girl because of your behavior.
Let me ask you something:
Have you ever been needy, desperate, and insecure with a girl?
In case the answer is “yes”, this article will save your life. I know. That’s a big promise. But I’m confident that the tips I’m about to share with you will have a huge impact on your dating life.
I mean, imagine it…
A life where women want you AND want to stay with you because…
Here’s what you need to do to kick neediness in the balls…
Here’s What I Do to Not Be Needy with Women
I was the neediest donkey on planet earth.
I probably shouldn’t tell you this. It’s so embarrassing. But hey, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. That’s why I have to share this with you.
Here’s what I did with ONE girl:
Yes, I really did that. I was so insecure, so anxious, and so depressed that I saw no other way out. Now that I think about it, I’m glad she didn’t call the police. It was never my intention to stalk her. It just happened because I couldn’t control myself.
My brain danced Samba.
Sorry for my potty mouth, but I was a clingy piece of shit that repelled women. I couldn’t go on like that. Every woman I approached or dated ran away from me.
“Why does this happen to me? Do I have to put in even more effort?”
It took a while until I realized that this was the problem…
1. Realize that Not Every Girl is Your Soulmate
I hate to say it but she’s not your soulmate just because…
Jake is a douchebag anyway. Nobody likes him (sorry if your name is Jake). And just because she wants to sleep with you doesn’t mean that she’s the love of your life. Women like casual sex, you know. Maybe she just wants to bang.
Here’s the problem:
You put her on a pedestal that’s higher than the Mount Everest. Please correct me if I’m wrong. But my experience (and my past) tells me this. She’s just a normal girl, but you look at her and see your soulmate, the one, the girl of your dreams.
And I know why:
If you don’t have a lot of success with women, you want to hold on to every small victory.
What if I told you that you can succeed big time?
2. Open Your Eyes to an Abundance of Women
There are more than 7.4 billion people on this earth.
Do you have any idea what that means?
You can choose among more than 3.5 billion women. Okay, some of them are too old, others are too young, and some are happily married. Forget about them. But even if you only focus on the girls in your age range…hundreds of thousands of them would date you.
Here’s why so many guys are so goddamn needy:
Of course you are needy when you live in a town with 5.000 people and three beautiful women. In this environment even Tom Cruise would be clingy. You have no other choice…so you think.
Here’s the truth:
The world is a big place and your playground. You don’t have to settle for a girl in your town or your state. Heck, you don’t even have to choose one from your county or continent. Wake up and open your eyes to an abundance of women.
That’s why Global Seducer’s are not needy.
3. Embrace Your Unlimited Potential
I want you to know something:
You are not the person you are right now.
And no, this is not some woo woo bullshit. Think about it. The person you are right now is nothing but a snapshot in time. Tomorrow you can be someone else. You can change, develop, and transform at any point in time.
Take me as an example:
What about now?
I’m not the same person as I used to be. Today I’m confident, I can talk to girls and I can’t remember when I had my last panic attack. If I can change, you can change. You have the potential to make women addicted to you.
You have unlimited potential.
Once you tap into this potential, neediness won’t be an issue anymore.
4. Work on Your Self-Confidence
Here’s how to stop being needy and desperate:
Work on your self-confidence.
It’s impossible to have a high self-confidence and to be needy at the same time. The way you think and feel about yourself is the root of the problem. Denying doesn’t help. Working on your problem is the only solution.
Here are some ideas:
One step a day leads to 365 steps a year. On day one you ask strangers for the time. On day two you ask beautiful women for the time. On day three you approach a hot girl.
Do whatever it takes.
5. Take off the Rose-Colored Glasses
Who is the girl you’re clinging to?
She’s a human being!
If you want to stop being needy and insecure with girls and in relationship, you have to understand this. Women are not these flawless creatures your mind wants them to be.
Take off your rose-colored glasses and see what’s really going on.
Having a vagina doesn’t automatically turn you into a flawless angel. She has issues, just like you. She has negative qualities, just like you. And that’s okay. Now that you have a clear vision, the rose-colored neediness begins to fade.
6. Realize that Being Single Can Be Awesome
“I need a girlfriend! I NEED A GIRLFRIEND!!!”
This is why so many guys are clingy. When you need something or someone, you act desperate. When you want something but don’t need it, you don’t act desperate. It’s really that simple.
Here’s the truth:
You don’t NEED a girlfriend!
It’s okay to want a girlfriend. That’s why I dedicated a whole chapter of my book to getting and keeping a girlfriend. However…as soon as you need her, and I mean desperately need her, the vicious cycle of neediness, clinginess, and jealousy begins.
Break this vicious cycle by realizing that being single can be awesome.
I don’t say it’s always awesome. But if you continue to read my articles, listen to my podcast and read my book (and put the advice into practice) your single life will be awesome. Then you’ll be one of the few guys who have choice with women.
And choice is the worst enemy of neediness.
7. Understand that It’s about Quality and Not Quantity
You want to see her 24/7.
I get it. I wanted the same. But every time I followed my urge, it was a disaster. That’s when I did all these things needy guys should never do. Whenever I preferred quantity over quality, I messed up big time.
Have you ever done that?
You have to stop it!
Don’t try to spend every day with her. That might be too much for her. Instead, try to enjoy quality time with her. Quality is more important than quantity. Remember that when you want to stalk her right after the first date.
Give her time until she’s ready for another quality date.
8. Catch yourself in the Act
What if you ignore my advice?
Let’s face it. You probably will ignore some of it. I would have done the same back then. But even if you ignore my advice and allow your needy self to win the battle, you can still win the war. But I have to warn you. You need to become aware.
Here’s what you need to do:
Become aware of your own impulses. Whenever you want to call her again or send her the fifth message, you become aware of your emotions and pause. Stop right there. You just caught yourself in the act.
Take a deep breath and ask yourself:
Now that you’ve answered these questions, you can adjust your strategy.
9. Question Your Own Conspiracy Theories
Your mind is a wonderful place.
It has the power to create business ideas, life plans, and incredible pickup lines. But it also has the power to destroy your life. That’s why the Buddhists call it the monkey mind. Your mind can be like a hungry monkey that’s jumping up and down until it gets the banana.
Here’s what the mind of a needy man thinks:
- “She didn’t pick up the phone. She must be banging another guy!”
- “She doesn’t want to see me today. She doesn’t care about me!”
- “She didn’t respond to my last text. She must hate me!”
Just because your mind makes up all kinds of conspiracy theories doesn’t mean that any of it is true. Yes, your mind is a powerful tool. But it can also be a very destructive tool. Always remember what Uncle Ben said.
Uncle Ben knows how to stop being needy with girls.
10. Have an Interesting Lifestyle
Have you ever asked yourself why you need her so bad?
I know the answer. You need her because she makes you happy. And when you’re not with her, you’re not happy. Now you have the choice.
- Choice #1: You can continue to make women responsible for your happiness.
- Choice #2: You can take responsibility for your own happiness.
Here’s an interesting fact:
I’ve never met a needy man who has an interesting lifestyle. This type of guy doesn’t exist. It’s impossible to have this negative emotion when you enjoy life. You don’t need her when you’re perfectly happy without her.
As a result, you still want her but you don’t need her anymore.
11. Don’t Be Afraid of the Future
The future is scary because it’s an unknown variable.
That’s why you are needy.
You are scared of the future. You are scared that she will leave you one day. Be careful. It’s easy to let the fear of the future destroy the present moment. I mean, I get it. You don’t want to lose her. That’s why you behave like a clingy Koala.
Here’s what you need to understand:
Nobody can tell what the future brings. There’s absolutely no reason to worry about it. All I know is that your future will be bright and without neediness because you’ve read today’s article…
…and because you will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.
Summed Up Wisdom
You want to know how to not be needy when dating. Well, that’s not so easy because right now you are way too clingy and maybe even a little bit insecure. Why? Well, because you wear rose-colored glasses and you call her your soulmate, whatever the hell that means.
You have to realize that there’s an abundance of women on this planet. There are literally hundreds of thousands of beautiful women on this earth who would love to date you. Open your eyes and tap into your potential.
What if you still want to text her every hour? Catch yourself in the act. Become aware of your monkey mind and stop it before it can grab the banana. Distract your mind with your interesting lifestyle and calm down. Nobody knows what the future holds.
Sebastian Harris says
that’s great to hear!
I wound up implementing what you suggested and talked with my girlfriend. Turns out she has the exact same fears and insecurities. Now we’re stronger and more secure with each other than ever. Thanks for the advice mate.
p.s. sorry to hear about your breakup man
Sebastian Harris says
thank a lot for your feedback. I really appreciate it. Don’t even think about breaking up with her. Love is something beautiful. The challenge for men in this situation is to open up and to be honest about your fears. I would talk to her about your insecurities. If she loves you, she’ll understand it. Maybe she feels the same about you. That’s what I did in the past and would do today.
Over the course of the past couple of years, I’ve thoroughly changed how I conducted myself in regards to how I approach and meet women. And frankly, I owe 90% of my success to reading your articles (hey, I gotta save some credit for myself lol). I’ve had some fun times with some fun women, but a couple of months ago I met a woman and we connected on such a deep level that we truly became something serious, and I can honestly say for the first time in year, I’m in love. However, I’ve noticed lately that I have some needy tendencies. It’s easy to either A: not notice, or B: not develop those tendencies during a weekend fling; but they only seem to have occurred after I got my girlfriend and even then only within the past two weeks. And I don’t know if I’m really being needy or if it’s just a perception because I’m about to start a new high-stress, high-adrenaline, high-danger job and I’m already a little nervous about that and having a girlfriend was not part of my plan, so it’s entirely possible it’s just all my emotions crashing together at once. So my questions are 1: what’s the best way to counter-act these tendencies? 2: would talking with her about this “insecurity” of mine be a good idea or just a complete turn off to her? And 3: would it be better if I just broke up with her, fixed whatever the hell is wrong with me, and start fresh with somebody else?
Didn’t mean to make such a long winded speech; but I’m really trying to find the right answer right now.
Sebastian Harris says
that’s exactly it.
Been there. I discovered that you can overcome neediness when you have 3 or 4 girls you can text or date to. Off course, in addition to your hobbies and other activities that can define you.