But you still want to meet a girl…and make her your girlfriend.
Am I right?
Of course, you tried to overcome your shyness with exposure therapy. You wanted to do it, but you couldn’t. You wanted to seduce this beautiful woman, but this little voice in your head told you that you can’t do it.
Do any of the following situations sound familiar to you?
All these situations sound very familiar to me. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been there. I wasn’t just shy. I had fought a long battle with social anxiety. Heck, at one point in my life, I couldn’t even leave the house.
Today I know how to meet girls despite my handicap.
I learned to control it, tame it, and use it. That’s why I want to share the following lessons with you:
Stop using this terrible word as an excuse to stay home and get a hot girlfriend instead…
How to Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy: My Realization
I used to beat myself up.
The fact that I was too shy to meet women made me sick to my stomach. I still remember this one day. There was this beautiful girl in my college class and I wanted to approach her. I wanted it so bad. But I didn’t. I chickened out.
I was so ashamed of myself that I threw up.
Thank God, I made it to the bathroom in time. And thanks to one of my first mentors I discovered how to use my handicap to my advantage:
That’s what I want to share with you right now…
How to Deal with Your Shyness Before You Go Out
It starts in the comfort of your home.
Don’t leave the house yet. You are too shy anyway…hehe…sorry for the terrible joke. But hey, if you do the following exercises, you’ll leave your house like a proud rooster who’s about to fuck the whole henhouse.
So listen up…
1. Overcome Your Shyness with Logic
Yes, with logic.
Sounds stupid, but it works. I have to warn you. A lot of the advice I share in this article sounds completely ridiculous, but works like magic. Ah hell, that shouldn’t surprise you. You know me.
Here’s what I want you to do:
Try to remember the last times you were too shy to do something.
Now ask yourself:
Yes, you will because…
2. Overcome Your Shyness with Deep Breaths
You won’t be shy anymore.
The following technique sounds so simple, but it works:
You don’t believe it works? Try it!
Don’t just take a shallow breath while thinking “yeah, Sebastian…you and your new age bullshit”. Really feel it. Observe your body and feel how you calm down. Several scientific studies prove that deep breathing can calm your mind and reduce stress and anxiety.
Do what science has proven over and over again.
3. Overcome Your Shyness with the Power of Imagination
What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror?
Here’s what I saw in the past:
That’s what I saw and that’s exactly how I acted. The fact that I saw a loser turned me into a loser. I didn’t take action. I became a slave to my shyness. I crippled myself.
Do you do the same?
Then imagine a different version of yourself.
Imagine yourself as this man and observe how your shyness decreases and your confidence increases.
How to Meet a Girl if You Are Shy
It’s time to leave the house.
You came here because you want to know how to meet a girl if you are shy. And let’s face it. You don’t just want to meet her and say “goodbye”. You want to make her your girlfriend.
Here’s what you need to do…
4. Hunt Where You Feel Most Comfortable
Let me guess.
You’re an introvert. Don’t worry. That’s okay. I’m one too. If you were an extrovert, you wouldn’t be shy. For extroverts it’s so easy to meet people, no matter where they are. You, however, need to feel comfortable to be social.
Here’s what you have to do:
I don’t know what places and venues you should choose. I love to meet women in train stations because that’s where I feel most comfortable. I guess it’s because I got my first number in a train station. But I try to avoid clubs because I don’t feel comfortable in this environment.
Meet women where you actually want to be.
5. Imagine Her Doing Disgusting Stuff
Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
My advice is controversial…and a bit disgusting:
Imagine you see a hot girl walking down the street. Your shyness kicks in. You can’t move. She’s way too beautiful. You feel so unworthy. You feel unworthy of smelling her fart.
Then put these images in your mind:
And no, I don’t have some weird toilet fetish. However, I know that imagining all the disgusting things women do makes you feel less shy because you remove them from the sky-high pedestal. Suddenly, they are human beings.
You can talk to normal human beings.
6. Feel the Tortured Parts of Your Body
You want to approach her.
You’re so close. She’s standing two meters away from you. Then it starts. You start to sweat. Now you’re shaking. You want to give up.
Feel where your shyness manifests itself.
Feel the sensation and realize that this is a normal reaction of your body. Your body signalizes you that you like this girl. Your body wants you to approach her.
How to Approach a Girl if You Are Shy
You approached her.
You stopped her and said “excuse me. I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but I think you look absolutely amazing.”
Unfortunately, you’re so nervous that your lips start shaking. You can feel it. And you’re afraid that she sees it too.
What do you do now?
7. Realize that She’s Shy Too
First, you need to understand something.
She doesn’t get approached every day. You might be the first guy who walks up to her. She also doesn’t see what you see. She doesn’t see the perfect girl you see.
Here’s what she thinks when you approach her:
Believe it or not, but beautiful women are shy. I approached girls who were shaking. You’re not alone. She might be even more nervous and anxious than you.
She would admit it if you had the balls to admit it first…
8. Mention Your Shyness after the Approach
Shyness is not a sign of weakness.
Now that I’m confident with women, I sometimes pretend to be shy. Yes, you read it right. She wants to feel special. In other words, she hopes you’re not one of these pickup artists who approach ten girls a day.
Your shyness proves that you’re not.
Mention it and a couple of positive things will happen:
Don’t hold back. Let her know what’s going on. You’ll love her reaction.
9. You Don’t Have to Use a Sexual Compliment
I’m a big fan of direct compliments.
But you don’t have to be direct at any price. I mean, I love to challenge myself by approaching girls with “you have the sexiest ass I’ve ever seen.” But if you’re shy and just starting out, this is not the best idea.
The following compliments are totally fine:
You don’t have to give sexual compliments for the sake of it. You can do that once you’ve read my book Rise of the Phoenix and gained more experience.
How to Talk to Girls if You Are Shy
You’re having a conversation and things are going great.
She feels comfortable with you because you are the first guy she meets who’s honest about his shyness. She feels such a relief because now she can be herself while talking to you.
The question is:
What should you talk about?
10. Talk About Your Passions
It’s the same principle that taught you how to meet a girl if you are shy.
Do what makes you feel comfortable.
These are the topics you feel comfortable talking about. And no, that’s not selfish. She wants to get to know you anyway. Do her a favor and tell her about yourself.
You can even take this one step further…
11. Tell Her about Your Shyness Journey
This makes her think you’re really confident.
“What? I thought this makes me look like a pathetic wimp.” I hear you saying.
Think about it:
Tell her about the journey you’re on. Women are attracted to men on a mission…especially if the mission is to overcome shyness. Let her know that you want to overcome your limitation and that you thrive for excellence.
She wants to be the girlfriend of a guy who’s taking responsibility for his life.
12. Imagine You’re Talking to Your Best Friend
Are you shy when you’re talking to your best friend?
Of course not!
Most guys don’t realize that this is the energy women fall in love with. She doesn’t want you to be cool, alpha, or indifferent. She wants to see the real you. Show her the same face you show your best friend.
Imagine you’re talking to your best friend.
That’s how to meet a girl if you are shy AND get a girlfriend. Have the thought “she’s my best friend” in mind whenever you talk to women.
This will make everything so much easier.
How to Ask a Girl Out if You are Shy
It’s time for the big question.
No, not THAT big question!
Please don’t ask her to marry you. This is your first conversation, for God’s sake. You don’t want her to die from a heart attack.
Instead, you use the momentum…
13. Use the Power of Momentum
You’re a shy guy, right?
Then think about when it’s the easiest for you to ask a girl out:
- 1You’re already talking to her.
- 2You call her the next day.
- 3You wait two weeks.
The answer is obvious.
You’re already in a talkative mood. And she’s begging for the date. It would be stupid to get her number and to wait a couple of days to set up a date.
Ask her out right here and right now.
Now you have momentum. Don’t waste it because you never know when your shyness creeps back.
14. Remember Her Name and Number
This happened so often.
I’m a master at asking girls out and forgetting their names two seconds later. The result is more than embarrassing. I saved her number, but I don’t remember the name to that number. Sometimes I’m lucky and I remember it. Sometimes I’m not so lucky.
Your nervousness and anxiety can cripple your memory.
Here’s what I tend to do:
Alternatively, you can use this technique:
Whatever works for you is fine.
15. Don’t Pretend to Be Mr. Cool Man
She knows you’re shy and that’s okay.
There’s no need to pretend that you’re the coolest dude on earth. You don’t have to pretend to not care whether or not she wants to go out with you. Swallow your ego and say what you want to say.
We both know you want to see her again.
By now you know how to meet a girl if you are shy and how to approach her in a way that’s in alignment with your little handicap. That’s awesome.
But you have to take things to the next level…
How to Attract Women if You Are Shy
You’re ready for the final stage.
It’s time to attract her and to make her want you as her boyfriend. Believe it or not, but your shyness can be a huge advantage. I know, it sounds crazy. But it works.
Unfortunately, most guys will never discover this secret.
There’s a reason why a lot of women prefer silent men…
16. Be the Mysterious Seducer
Are extroverted seducers without shyness issues mysterious?
Women are attracted to men who make them imagine things…naughty things. That’s why girls are so into Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey.
You can be this mysterious seducer. Nobody has to know that you are too shy to talk. Just say “you will see” or “I can’t tell you” whenever you’re uncomfortable talking about a topic.
She’ll assume you’re mysterious.
17. Force Yourself to Hold Eye Contact
You’ll hate this.
No shy guy on earth likes to hold eye contact. I remember the first time I held eye contact with a girl for more than one second. It was pure nightmare. Afterwards, my eyes felt as if I had played video games for five hours straight.
But I didn’t give up.
I practiced and I expect the same from you. If you want to attract girls and get a girlfriend, even if you’re shy as hell, you need to practice holding eye contact.
Why don’t you start today?
Practice makes perfect.
18. Spend More and More Time with Her
Getting a girlfriend takes time.
The more time you spend with a girl, the more comfortable she’ll feel around you. Yes, you know how to meet a girl if you’re shy. But the approach is only 10%. What comes afterwards is important.
And if you want more information on getting and keeping a girlfriend, you can check out my book Rise of the Phoenix.
Summed Up Wisdom
Do you want to know how to get a girlfriend if you are shy? First, you have to overcome your little handicap. Preparation is everything. Do the breathing and the visualization exercises I share with you. They really help.
It’s time to go out and to meet women. But don’t just go to some random place. Think about the venues that make you feel comfortable and confident. Go there. And use your mind to turn her into a human being.
Now you’re talking to her. It’s okay to address your shyness. Don’t try to act cool or alpha. Being open about it makes it so much easier and it’s a sign of confidence. Oh, and remember her name and don’t forget to practice eye contact...even if you hate it.