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You are here: Home / Dating / How to Meet a Girl and Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy

How to Meet a Girl and Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy

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You’re shy.

But you still want to meet a girl…and make her your girlfriend.

Am I right?

Of course, you tried to overcome your shyness with exposure therapy. You wanted to do it, but you couldn’t. You wanted to seduce this beautiful woman, but this little voice in your head told you that you can’t do it.

 Do any of the following situations sound familiar to you?

  • You want to approach her, but you freeze.
  • You want to kiss her, but something is holding you back.
  • You want to take her bra off, but your hands are shaking.
too shy for woman

All these situations sound very familiar to me. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been there. I wasn’t just shy. I had fought a long battle with social anxiety. Heck, at one point in my life, I couldn’t even leave the house.

Today I know how to meet girls despite my handicap.

I learned to control it, tame it, and use it. That’s why I want to share the following lessons with you:

  • check
    How to overcome your shyness with simple techniques.
  • check
    How to use mental images and honesty to talk to girls.
  • check
    How to use your handicap to your advantage. 

Stop using this terrible word as an excuse to stay home and get a hot girlfriend instead…

Quick Navigation
How to Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy: My Realization
How to Deal with Your Shyness Before You Go Out 
How to Meet a Girl if You Are Shy  
How to Approach a Girl if You Are Shy  
How to Talk to Girls if You Are Shy  
How to Ask a Girl Out if You are Shy  
How to Attract Women if You Are Shy  
Summed Up Wisdom 


How to Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy: My Realization

I used to beat myself up.

The fact that I was too shy to meet women made me sick to my stomach. I still remember this one day. There was this beautiful girl in my college class and I wanted to approach her. I wanted it so bad. But I didn’t. I chickened out.

I was so ashamed of myself that I threw up.

Thank God, I made it to the bathroom in time. And thanks to one of my first mentors I discovered how to use my handicap to my advantage:

  • check
    How to use it when approaching her.
  • check
    How to use it when talking to her.
  • check
    How to use it when seducing her.

That’s what I want to share with you right now…


How to Deal with Your Shyness Before You Go Out 

It starts in the comfort of your home.

Don’t leave the house yet. You are too shy anyway…hehe…sorry for the terrible joke. But hey, if you do the following exercises, you’ll leave your house like a proud rooster who’s about to fuck the whole henhouse.

So listen up…


1. Overcome Your Shyness with Logic

Yes, with logic.

Sounds stupid, but it works. I have to warn you. A lot of the advice I share in this article sounds completely ridiculous, but works like magic. Ah hell, that shouldn’t surprise you. You know me.

Here’s what I want you to do:

Try to remember the last times you were too shy to do something. 

  • Remember this girl you couldn’t approach.
  • Remember the number you didn’t call.
  • Remember the lips you didn’t kiss.
woman touching her lips as sign she likes you back

Now ask yourself:

  • Did I gain anything by not doing it?
  • What could have happened if I had done it?
  • Will I do it the next time despite my shyness?

Yes, you will because…


2. Overcome Your Shyness with Deep Breaths 

You won’t be shy anymore.

The following technique sounds so simple, but it works:

  • Take a deep breath in.
  • Close your eyes and hold your breath for a second.
  • Imagine how you exhale your shyness with a deep breath out.  

You don’t believe it works? Try it!

Don’t just take a shallow breath while thinking “yeah, Sebastian…you and your new age bullshit”. Really feel it. Observe your body and feel how you calm down. Several scientific studies prove that deep breathing can calm your mind and reduce stress and anxiety.

Do what science has proven over and over again.


3. Overcome Your Shyness with the Power of Imagination 

What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror?

Here’s what I saw in the past:

  • A man who didn’t have what it takes.
  • A guy who’ll never get a girlfriend. 
  • A loser.

That’s what I saw and that’s exactly how I acted. The fact that I saw a loser turned me into a loser. I didn’t take action. I became a slave to my shyness. I crippled myself.

Do you do the same?

Then imagine a different version of yourself.

shy man meets a girl
  • A man who approaches girls.
  • A man who makes out with a model.
  • A man who holds the hand of his beautiful girlfriend.

Imagine yourself as this man and observe how your shyness decreases and your confidence increases.


How to Meet a Girl if You Are Shy  

It’s time to leave the house.

No excuses!

You came here because you want to know how to meet a girl if you are shy. And let’s face it. You don’t just want to meet her and say “goodbye”. You want to make her your girlfriend.

Here’s what you need to do…


4. Hunt Where You Feel Most Comfortable   

Let me guess.

You’re an introvert. Don’t worry. That’s okay. I’m one too. If you were an extrovert, you wouldn’t be shy. For extroverts it’s so easy to meet people, no matter where they are. You, however, need to feel comfortable to be social.

Here’s what you have to do:

  • Meet women at venues you’ve been to before.
  • Pick up girls at places that make you feel comfortable.
  • Choose the same first date venue over and over again.

I don’t know what places and venues you should choose. I love to meet women in train stations because that’s where I feel most comfortable. I guess it’s because I got my first number in a train station. But I try to avoid clubs because I don’t feel comfortable in this environment.

Meet women where you actually want to be.


5. Imagine Her Doing Disgusting Stuff

Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

My advice is controversial…and a bit disgusting:

Imagine you see a hot girl walking down the street. Your shyness kicks in. You can’t move. She’s way too beautiful. You feel so unworthy. You feel unworthy of smelling her fart.

 Already disgusted?

woman on toilet


Then put these images in your mind:

  • She has to pee.
  • She has to take a shit.
  • She’s sick and without makeup.

And no, I don’t have some weird toilet fetish. However, I know that imagining all the disgusting things women do makes you feel less shy because you remove them from the sky-high pedestal. Suddenly, they are human beings.

You can talk to normal human beings.


6. Feel the Tortured Parts of Your Body  

You want to approach her.

You’re so close. She’s standing two meters away from you. Then it starts. You start to sweat. Now you’re shaking. You want to give up.

Stop!

Feel where your shyness manifests itself.

  • Do you feel pain in your chest?
  • Are your hands sweaty?
  • Is your throat dry?

Feel the sensation and realize that this is a normal reaction of your body. Your body signalizes you that you like this girl. Your body wants you to approach her.


How to Approach a Girl if You Are Shy  

You approached her.

You stopped her and said “excuse me. I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but I think you look absolutely amazing.”

She smiles.

Unfortunately, you’re so nervous that your lips start shaking. You can feel it. And you’re afraid that she sees it too.

What do you do now? 

 

7. Realize that She’s Shy Too 

First, you need to understand something.

She doesn’t get approached every day. You might be the first guy who walks up to her. She also doesn’t see what you see. She doesn’t see the perfect girl you see.   

Here’s what she thinks when you approach her:

  • “Why does this handsome guy approach ME?”
  • “I hope he doesn’t see how nervous I am.”
  • “Oh my God…what do I do now…”
shy woman

Believe it or not, but beautiful women are shy. I approached girls who were shaking. You’re not alone. She might be even more nervous and anxious than you.

She would admit it if you had the balls to admit it first…


8. Mention Your Shyness after the Approach  

Shyness is not a sign of weakness.

Now that I’m confident with women, I sometimes pretend to be shy. Yes, you read it right. She wants to feel special. In other words, she hopes you’re not one of these pickup artists who approach ten girls a day.

Your shyness proves that you’re not.

Mention it and a couple of positive things will happen:

  • She opens up about her own shyness.
  • This makes her feel connected to you.
  • You feel more safe and confident.

Don’t hold back. Let her know what’s going on. You’ll love her reaction.


9. You Don’t Have to Use a Sexual Compliment  

I’m a big fan of direct compliments.

But you don’t have to be direct at any price. I mean, I love to challenge myself by approaching girls with “you have the sexiest ass I’ve ever seen.” But if you’re shy and just starting out, this is not the best idea.

The following compliments are totally fine:

  • You look beautiful.
  • You have a confident walk.
  • You look adorable in this dress.
woman likes shy guy

You don’t have to give sexual compliments for the sake of it. You can do that once you’ve read my book Rise of the Phoenix and gained more experience.


How to Talk to Girls if You Are Shy  

You’re having a conversation and things are going great.

She feels comfortable with you because you are the first guy she meets who’s honest about his shyness. She feels such a relief because now she can be herself while talking to you.

The question is:

What should you talk about?


10. Talk About Your Passions  

It’s the same principle that taught you how to meet a girl if you are shy.

Do what makes you feel comfortable.

  • Talk about what you like to do.
  • Talk about your passion.
  • Talk about your vision.

These are the topics you feel comfortable talking about. And no, that’s not selfish. She wants to get to know you anyway. Do her a favor and tell her about yourself.

You can even take this one step further…


11. Tell Her about Your Shyness Journey

This makes her think you’re really confident.

“What? I thought this makes me look like a pathetic wimp.” I hear you saying.

Think about it:

  • Being open about your issue is a sign of confidence.
  • Being honest to a beautiful girl is a sign of courage. 
  • Trying to overcome it is a sign of boldness.

Tell her about the journey you’re on. Women are attracted to men on a mission…especially if the mission is to overcome shyness. Let her know that you want to overcome your limitation and that you thrive for excellence.

She wants to be the girlfriend of a guy who’s taking responsibility for his life.


12. Imagine You’re Talking to Your Best Friend  

Are you shy when you’re talking to your best friend?

Of course not!

  • You crack jokes.
  • You say what you want to say.
  • You have a great time being yourself.

Most guys don’t realize that this is the energy women fall in love with. She doesn’t want you to be cool, alpha, or indifferent. She wants to see the real you. Show her the same face you show your best friend.

Imagine you’re talking to your best friend.

  • Crack the same jokes.
  • Say the same things.
  • Use the same body language.

That’s how to meet a girl if you are shy AND get a girlfriend. Have the thought “she’s my best friend” in mind whenever you talk to women.

This will make everything so much easier.


How to Ask a Girl Out if You are Shy  

It’s time for the big question.

No, not THAT big question!

Please don’t ask her to marry you. This is your first conversation, for God’s sake. You don’t want her to die from a heart attack.

Instead, you use the momentum…


13. Use the Power of Momentum

You’re a shy guy, right?

Then think about when it’s the easiest for you to ask a girl out:

  • 1
    You’re already talking to her.
  • 2
    You call her the next day.
  • 3
    You wait two weeks.

The answer is obvious. 

You’re already in a talkative mood. And she’s begging for the date. It would be stupid to get her number and to wait a couple of days to set up a date.

Ask her out right here and right now.

Now you have momentum. Don’t waste it because you never know when your shyness creeps back.

 

14. Remember Her Name and Number  

This happened so often.

I’m a master at asking girls out and forgetting their names two seconds later. The result is more than embarrassing. I saved her number, but I don’t remember the name to that number. Sometimes I’m lucky and I remember it. Sometimes I’m not so lucky.

Your nervousness and anxiety can cripple your memory.  

Here’s what I tend to do:

  • I repeat her name in my head.
  • I let her type her number into my phone.
  • I write her name in a new notepad on my phone.

Alternatively, you can use this technique:

Whatever works for you is fine.


15. Don’t Pretend to Be Mr. Cool Man

She knows you’re shy and that’s okay.

There’s no need to pretend that you’re the coolest dude on earth. You don’t have to pretend to not care whether or not she wants to go out with you. Swallow your ego and say what you want to say.

We both know you want to see her again.

  • Ask her if she’s free on Sunday.
  • Let her know that you’ll text her again.
  • Repeat her name in your head again. Just in case.

By now you know how to meet a girl if you are shy and how to approach her in a way that’s in alignment with your little handicap. That’s awesome.

But you have to take things to the next level…


How to Attract Women if You Are Shy  

You’re ready for the final stage.

It’s time to attract her and to make her want you as her boyfriend. Believe it or not, but your shyness can be a huge advantage. I know, it sounds crazy. But it works.

Unfortunately, most guys will never discover this secret.

There’s a reason why a lot of women prefer silent men…


16. Be the Mysterious Seducer  

Are extroverted seducers without shyness issues mysterious?

Hell no!

extroverted man
  • They reveal everything about themselves.
  • They don’t know when to stop talking.
  • They don’t leave room for imagination.

Imagination…

Women are attracted to men who make them imagine things…naughty things. That’s why girls are so into Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey.

  • He doesn’t talk much.
  • He doesn’t reveal much.
  • He’s a mysterious seducer.

You can be this mysterious seducer. Nobody has to know that you are too shy to talk. Just say “you will see” or “I can’t tell you” whenever you’re uncomfortable talking about a topic.

She’ll assume you’re mysterious.


17. Force Yourself to Hold Eye Contact 

You’ll hate this.

No shy guy on earth likes to hold eye contact. I remember the first time I held eye contact with a girl for more than one second. It was pure nightmare. Afterwards, my eyes felt as if I had played video games for five hours straight.

But I didn’t give up.

I practiced and I expect the same from you. If you want to attract girls and get a girlfriend, even if you’re shy as hell, you need to practice holding eye contact.

Why don’t you start today?

Practice makes perfect.


18. Spend More and More Time with Her  

Getting a girlfriend takes time.

The more time you spend with a girl, the more comfortable she’ll feel around you. Yes, you know how to meet a girl if you’re shy. But the approach is only 10%. What comes afterwards is important.

  • check
    Get to know her.
  • check
    Go on many fun dates.
  • check
    Seducer her as a mysterious seducer.

And if you want more information on getting and keeping a girlfriend, you can check out my book Rise of the Phoenix.


Summed Up Wisdom 

Do you want to know how to get a girlfriend if you are shy? First, you have to overcome your little handicap. Preparation is everything. Do the breathing and the visualization exercises I share with you. They really help.

It’s time to go out and to meet women. But don’t just go to some random place. Think about the venues that make you feel comfortable and confident. Go there. And use your mind to turn her into a human being.

Now you’re talking to her. It’s okay to address your shyness. Don’t try to act cool or alpha. Being open about it makes it so much easier and it’s a sign of confidence. Oh, and remember her name and don’t forget to practice eye contact...even if you hate it. 

Summary
How to Meet a Girl and Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy
Article Name
How to Meet a Girl and Get a Girlfriend if You are Shy
Description
You’re shy. But you still want to meet a girl…and make her your girlfriend. Am I right? Of course, you tried to overcome your shyness with exposure therapy. You wanted to do it, but you couldn’t. You wanted to seduce this beautiful woman, but this little voice in your head told you that you can’t do it...
Author
Sebastian Harris
Publisher Name
Global Seducer
Publisher Logo
Global Seducer
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Filed Under: Dating

Do you have the cojones to share Your opinion with me?

Then leave a comment below, because I really want to know what you think!

Comments

  1. Sebastian Harris says

    April 28, 2018 at 6:30 am

    Hey Andrew,
    A lot of my coaching clients are in their 40s and 59s. You’re definitely not too old. The time passes anyway, no matter if you work on yourself or not. So work on yourself 😉

  2. Andrew says

    April 27, 2018 at 4:16 pm

    sometimes it’s easy for me to feel depressed, insecure because i’m almost 30 and I still feel I suck at the dating game, suck at meeting and attracting women, but one guy made me feel better and said there are tons of guys in their 50’s and 60’s just barely figuring this stuff out, you believe that’s true?

  3. Sebastian Harris says

    April 21, 2018 at 4:52 am

    Depends on how beautiful she is.

  4. Andrew says

    April 20, 2018 at 2:51 am

    what do you think of this quote, statement? I feel there is some truth to it, here it is “women don’t need to know how to get a man, they only need to know how to keep a man”

  5. Sebastian Harris says

    April 7, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    Good point.

  6. Sebastian Harris says

    April 7, 2018 at 6:39 pm

    Hey Tim,
    just do it 😉

  7. Tim says

    April 6, 2018 at 8:58 am

    i’m shy. i know this because many people have told me. but i’m too old to use the “i’m too shy to approach women” excuse anymore. i’ve gotta get out there and do it. recently, i got a couple phone numbers from girls on tinder, so that has lifted my spirits.

    i gotta work up my courage to do some in person approaches. when you approach in person, its a much faster method as opposed to online dating.

  8. Foreign Love Web says

    April 5, 2018 at 10:46 am

    A shy man would do so much better in finding a potential wife, girlfriend, or sexual partner in a foreign country like the Philippines or Russia or Brazil.

    If he tries to find a good woman to talk, ask out on a date, or have sex in USA or a Westernized country, he would suffer.

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