How to Get Women to Approach You First

Do you really want to know how to get women to approach you first?

Wow…you must be confident as hell.

Back when I was starting out, I had no idea that this was even possible. I thought I had to make the first move. I mean, I knew that women walk up to famous guys and maybe to guys who look like Ryan Gosling. But I was convinced that no woman would ever introduce herself to me.

The fact that you clicked on this article shows me that you’re already far ahead of the game. You’re looking for the solution to a problem that most men don’t even think of. I was one of these men. But let me tell you something.

I found out how to make girls approach me.

That’s why I’m proud like a peacock to show you how it’s done and…

Read this article until the end and you know how to do something that none of your friends can even imagine…

Do Women Approach Men Who Are Not Handsome and Famous? 

Is it true?

Can you really learn how to get a girl to approach you?

Actually, it’s pretty easy. You just have to look like a male model or be famous. I mean, just have a look at how many girls want to approach Harry Styles in Paris:

But what if you’re neither handsome as hell nor famous?

I’m an average guy. In fact, I’m pretty ugly. I have scars all over my body, a baby face, and the bags under my eyes are bigger than watermelons (Thanks mom for this genetic handicap). Nevertheless, I found a way to make girls approach me.

It got pretty easy once I made one simple realization:

It’s not about the looks.

You don’t believe me. I know. Three years ago I wouldn’t have believed me either. But things have changed. Today I know that the right technique beats handsomeness, six-pack abs and fame.

How to Get a Woman to Approach You: My First Time  

Quick story…

I just remembered the first time I got approached by a girl. It was so awkward. Okay, it was actually pretty cool, but I turned it into an embarrassing experience.

Here’s what I did (not):

I was standing at the bus stop when I looked to the left. I saw this cute girl. She was smiling at me. I did what I usually did. I started to sweat and my cheeks got red. God, I was so freaking nervous. I wanted to approach her but I was too scared.

Then it happened.

She looked at me and said “hi”. We were the only two people at the bus stop, but still. I didn’t expect this to happen. I could have said “hi”. I could have said “you are beautiful.” I could have said ANYTHING…but I didn’t. I just smiled, blushed, and chuckled.

She turned away thinking “what a gigantic douchebag.”

Please don’t be like me three years ago. Instead, follow these steps…

1. Throw Your Headphones Away 

Okay, don’t throw them away. They were expensive.

But put them away. Don’t walk around listening to music. I used to do this all the time until I realized that it made meeting girls ten times harder.

Here are the two biggest fears she has before she approaches you:

Number One: He doesn’t stop.

Number Two: I interrupt him.

Come on. It’s hard enough for her. She’s already afraid that you’ll reject her. Don’t put even more anxious thoughts in her mind. Leave your headphones at home. It increases your lay count and the chance to survive the next intersection.

2. Dress Like a Guy She Has to Approach 

I’m pro bad boy look.

But I have to admit something:

This is not the best style to get women to approach you. I mean, girls love dangerous men. They love adventurers who look like trouble. But you’re missing one important ingredient.

Your outfit didn’t give her a reason to walk up to you.

In my experience, a red scarf, a funny t-shirt or an interesting bracelet can make all the difference. It’s so much easier to ask you about your funny shirt than about your normal leather jacket.

Give her an excuse to walk up to you.

3. Walk Like Michael Jackson   

Do you seriously think she’ll run after you?

Hell no!

You’re not Harry Styles. And in case you are, please send a donation. I’m eating peanut butter sandwiches every day of the week. Maybe that’s why I walk so slowly. I guess that must be the reason why so many girls approach me.  

The moon walk wins.

Okay, to be honest. That’s a terrible example. The moon walk is not slow enough and you shouldn’t grab your balls in front of her. Oh, I have the perfect example.

Walk like a Buddhist monk. 

Take your time. Breathe in and breathe out. Relax. When you’re so slow that you almost fall over, she has a chance to approach you.

4. Smile like Justin Timberlake 

Forget about Michael Jackson. Concentrate on Justin Timberlake.

Could anyone resist this smile?

Even I get wet when I look at this picture. He has such an adorable smile. You can learn something from him. You can learn that smiling like a child after the third LSD pill is one of the best ways to get a woman to approach you.

Here’s why a smile is so powerful:

No woman wants to approach a man who looks like Sean Penn after he beat the crap out of two Paparazzi. She wants to approach a man who wants it to happen, not one who wants to be left alone.

Say cheese!

5. Tell Your Friend to Back Off a Little Bit 

What if your buddy smiles too?

Tell him to get the fuck away from you.

Okay, you don’t have to be that harsh to you best friend. Ask him politely to make some space. Let him know that this girl is checking you out and that she’ll never walk up to you as long as there are witnesses. He’ll understand. If not, make him understand.

His presence makes it impossible for her to take action.

Here’s why:

It’s hard enough to make a girl approach you. It’s ten times harder if you’re not alone. In fact, I’ve never seen a woman approach a man in a group. Never. In case it happens to you, you can praise the Lord because it’s very rare.

6. Don’t Make it So Hard to Reach You  

Let’s say the girl of your wet dreams stands on the other side of the street.

What do you do?

Nope, “I stand there still like a deer caught in the headlights” is not the right answer.

That won’t work. She won’t cross the street, run after you, and eventually stop you. Don’t be so full of yourself. This might happen in your imagination, but it won’t happen in the real world.

Make it easy for her to approach you.

She’ll smile because you’re the first guy she meets who knows how to get a girl to approach you…and that walking is a part of it.

7. Sit Next to an Empty Seat or Stand Next to an Empty Space 

Let’s continue our “don’t make it so hard for her” series.

What do you do next? 

You’re standing right next to a grumpy old man who smokes a pipe that stinks like your socks. What are you waiting for? She won’t approach you next to this cloud of smoke. And don’t forget to look to the right. A hot blonde girl is standing next to you. She doesn’t check you out, but the girl who checks you out has noticed her.

Give her room for the attack.

Make sure that there’s some space next to you and in front of you. The same is true if you happen to see her on a bus or on a train. Make sure that the seat next to you is empty.

Give her a chance, man.

8. Pretend to be Lost and Let Her Find You   

I had to travel to Japan to discover the power of this technique.

I was in the middle of Tokyo.

Have you ever been there? It’s huge! I didn’t know where to go. I was lost and up until today I don’t speak Japanese…not a single word. I looked around. I must have looked like a lost child searching for mommy. Thank God, mommy came to pick me up.

She was cute Japanese girl.  

Being lost led to one of the craziest experiences of my life. Since this day, I love to pretend to be lost. This gives girls the perfect excuse to approach you.

Here are some reasons why it works so well:

However, if you want to experience the incredible feeling of getting approached by a girl, you have to resist the temptation. You can still use my seduction techniques once she’s at your place.

For now you have to initiate the conversation without words…

10. Initiate the Conversation with the Hollywood Move  

“What the heck is the Hollywood move?” I hear you asking.

Heck, you can even use an aquarium for the Hollywood move...

The Hollywood move works because it gives her the feeling that it’s a coincidence. And it reminds her of all these stupid uhmm I mean romantic movies she watched. The only problem is that you don’t have an aquarium.

Here’s what you can do instead (I love this sequence):

That’s the magic moment. Your eyes meet. Love is in the air. She’ll approach you after you uttered a sheepish and slightly surprised “oh”.

God, that’s so romantic. I’m freaking crying.

11. Use My I Can’t Stop Laughing Technique 

Do you want to know how to get a girl to approach you first by laughing your ass off?

Almost all of my seduction techniques are the result of weird accidents. This one is no exception.

Here’s what happened:

I was at the college library writing my essay. But instead of doing my research, I watched a funny YouTube video. Maybe you can relate to that. Suddenly, I started laughing. And when I laugh, I laugh for a very long time.

Suddenly, the girl next to me approached me. 

She smiled and asked me what’s so funny. I showed her the video. Laughing is contagious. That’s how we ended up on our first date. And yes, I finished my essay.

Your laughter gives her a reason to approach you. And it makes her laugh.

Double win!

12. Invite Her with Your Body Language 

You’re so close.

I mean, literally. You’re standing right next to her. Not even a cow would fit between you. Don’t ask me why I came up with a cow. Instead, ask yourself what you can do to invite her to approach you first.

Here are some ideas:

Just do the opposite of what this guy does:

Invite her with your body language and she’ll invite herself by walking up to you. That’s how to make women approach you first.

13. Keep Looking and Smiling 

Are you in a hurry?

You shouldn’t be. And no, this is not an April Fool Prank…even though you might think it is. You know me. I’m German and I love efficiency. That’s why I always tell you to approach a woman within three seconds of spotting her.

Well, what can I say?

Things are different when you want her to approach you.

What if she doesn’t walk up to you?

Well, in this case you need to buy my bestselling book Rise of the Phoenix and approach, attract, and seduce her. But let’s face it. You’ve done everything right.

She will approach you.

14. Don’t Act Surprised When She Approaches You

Oh my God, here she comes.

She really does it. You can’t believe it. All these years you had no idea how to get women to approach you first. Now the big day has finally arrived. She walks up to you, smiles and says the magic words to you.

She says “hey”

I’ve never seen a girl walking up to a guy with “excuse me, I know this sounds a bit random, but I just saw you and I think you look really beautiful.”  I doubt that she’s familiar with the direct approach and daygame.

 No matter what she says, here are the golden rules:

She’s nervous enough. Your job is to act cool and to calm her down.

15. Thank Her for Approaching You   

Now you know how to get a girl to approach you first.

But do you also know how to not mess it up when it actually happens?

I already shared my embarrassing story with you. I didn’t say anything…and messed up. I messed up because I didn’t know what to say.

Here’s what you can do instead of saying nothing:

Support her. She’s already into you. All you have to do is to give her the feeling that you’re happy that she approached you…which you probably are.

16. Take Over the Lead 

It’s so easy to get lazy.

You’ve let her do the work. And that’s okay. You’ve reached a level of game that most guys will never reach. You can be proud of yourself. But it’s easy to fall in the laziness trap. You have to get out of there…fast.

Now it’s your turn.

Take over the lead and give her what she wants. 

You just learned how to get women to approach you. Now it’s time to learn how to attract, seduce, and date the hottest girls in the world.

Summed Up Wisdom 

You can’t expect to make a girl walk up to you when you look like an angry Goblin while you listen to heavy metal music. Focus, for God’s sake! And dress like a man she wants to approach. Hint: She doesn’t want to approach boring men.

It’s okay to initiate the conversation. You can do this by laughing out loud or by making the Hollywood move. As long as you resist the temptation to approach her, everything is fine. Oh, and don’t forget to smile.

Walk as if you have nowhere to go and stand close to her. Make it as easy as possible for her to make the first movie. Don’t freak out when the impossible happens. Support her decision and take over the lead. Seduce her.