How to Get a Girl to Date You (Step-by-Step Guide)

Here’s how to get a girl to date you:

Oh, wait. You’ve tried that in college and it didn’t work out. Heck, I’ve tried the “fill your system with liquid courage and then go for it” approach hundreds of times. Today I’m not even drinking alcohol anymore. But I got a girl to date me.

In fact, she’s not the only one who wants a piece of the Sebastian cake.

Over the last couple of years, I met dozens of girls who wanted to be my girlfriend. Some of them were girlfriend material. Others showed more red flags than a Spanish Torero.

Why do I tell you this?

Nope, I don’t want to brag…even though I have to admit that it makes me proud whenever a girl wants more than the friend in my pants. But that’s not why I bore you with my story. I do it to encourage you.

Learning how to get a girl to date you is possible because…

I want you to get the girl of your dreams, to have a happy relationship, and to call your first child Sebastian. Okay, forget about the child. I’m sure you know how to use a condom. And I’m sure you’ll love this article (let me know in the comments below).

Let me show you how to get a girl to like you, want you, and eventually date you…

How to Get a Girl to Date You without Waiting for Death 

What do most guys who want to date a girl do?

They choose one of three options:

Let me tell you a secret:

I used to be a master at option #1 and option #2. However, I rarely used option #3 because I was too shy to walk up to girls and say “hi”, let alone use a pickup line. Yep, that was my desperate, miserable old self.

This was before I rose like a Phoenix from the ashes.

Believe it or not, but there was a time when I couldn’t figure out how to get a girl to date me. It was a mystery I couldn’t solve. First I was too shy to do anything. When I finally had some confidence, I didn’t know what to do.

This feeling sucks. It hurts.

I don’t want you to experience the same misery. I want you to get a girl to date you…and not just any girl. Listen to me and to Arnold Schwarzenegger and you’ll get the girl of your dreams.

What does this have to do with Arnie?

1. Ignore the Naysayers  

Here’s what the big Austrian said many times:

He’s right!

If Arnold Schwarzenegger had listened to the naysayers, he would have never made it as a bodybuilder, as an actor, and as Governor of California. The same is true for you. If you listen to the naysayers, you’ll never date the women you want.

Here’s why:

Why should pick up artists stop you from achieving your goals?

I can tell you why. Most pickup artists and even some very famous dating gurus claim that every guy who doesn’t sleep with three girls simultaneously is gay. They believe (or pretend to believe) that having a serious relationship is for losers.

You want to have a girlfriend?

Then do everything in your power to get one. Don’t listen to some self-proclaimed player who tells you that having a girlfriend is for losers. You don’t have to sleep with different girls every night if you don’t want to.

Do what feels right for YOU and if getting a girl to date you feels right…do it!

2. Turn into the Magic Triangle  

Be careful.

Being dateable is not the same as being likeable and/or fuckable.

You want more. 

What you want is a woman who likes you for who you are, wants to date you, and wants to sleep with you. These are the three prerequisites for a relationship. I mean, she doesn’t want a boyfriend she doesn’t like. But she also doesn’t want a boyfriend she doesn’t feel attracted to.

Here’s how to solve this problem:

That sounds pretty theoretical. I know. But if you read this article till the end, you’ll know exactly what to do.

Oh, and don’t forget to ask her out…

3. Ask Her Out (With a Twist) 

She wants you to make the first move.

Believe me:

No woman on earth wants to date a guy who doesn’t make the first move. Yes, I know. You’ve watched this one Hollywood movie where the hot chick walks up to the nerd and asks him out. Guess what…it’s a freaking movie.

Real life requires real balls.

Wait!

Let me rephrase the last point. You don’t have to ask her out. In fact, you shouldn’t. It’s better to invite her than to ask her out.

Here’s the reason why this works so well: 

It’s easy to answer a question with “no”. Women are conditioned to do so. Daddy told little Larissa that she should not talk to strangers. Grown-up Larissa believes it. That’s why she says “no” whenever a guy asks her out or asks for her number.

What about an invitation?

It’s impolite to say “no” to an invitation. She doesn’t want to be rude. That’s not how daddy raised her. That’s why she decides to say yes. Or let’s say her subconscious mind decides it.

Yep, a different wording can make all the difference.

4. Get Her to Date You with the Perfect First Date  

What’s the perfect first date?

Forget about a romantic dinner in an overpriced restaurant. That shit only works in movies. In real life it’s a disaster because you spend a lot of money without having the chance to touch her during the conversation. Avoid dinner dates at all cost.

Here’s how to do it right:

What if she doesn’t want to go back to your place? 

That’s fine. Maybe she needs more time. Some women need one, others need four dates. Don’t get too hung up on the three dates. No woman is the same. But all women love the combination of café date and activity date.

Here’s why:

Don’t ignore the power of a climbing wall. That thing can be a better aphrodisiac than a dark chocolate cake with a chilly topping.

5. Sell Yourself as the Perfect Boyfriend 

Are you the perfect boyfriend?

Maybe you are. Maybe you’re not. And maybe you hate me for asking this question because you don’t want to admit your flaws. That’s okay. But let me tell you something. I’m not the perfect boyfriend either…and I never will be.

Nevertheless, you can try to convince her that…

What if you mess up later?

Well, shit happens. For now, you asked me to show you how to get a girl to date you and not how to stay with her till the end of time. Selling yourself as the perfect boyfriend definitely helps. She’ll want to date you. Believe me.

6. Speak the Right Words to Get Her to Date You  

Say the right things to make her heart melt.

Oh, and not just that. Melting her heart is only one part of the equation. Her panties want to get melted too. She’s desperate for a guy who speaks the right words…and doesn’t ask her boring questions.

She wants a man who talks about his adventures and shares incredible stories. She wants a man who shows and interest in her and not in her address, college major, or family name. Heck, she knows that you don’t care in which street she lives.

Stop wasting her time with small talk and start…

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7. Reveal Your Unique Selling Proposition

What makes you different than other men?

Come on. There must be something. You must have some unique talent, weird interest, or crazy hobby. Embrace your uniqueness and let her know how and why you are different. It’s the same as in business.

I’m not just a dating coach. I’m a world-traveling dating coach.

The only reason why this site has more than 320.000 monthly readers is because I have a unique selling proposition. I’m not like everyone else. You can’t put me in a box. I built my own box.

You want to know how to get a girl to date you? Do the same!

Be different and embrace it:

Whatever it is that makes you unique…embrace it. This is what sets you apart from the other average Joe’s. Okay, maybe not if you are into Anime porn with girls who get eaten out by crazy tentacle monsters. But you get the point.

8. Touch the Right Spots to Get Her to Date You 

Let’s get physical.

You will never figure out how to get a girl to date you, unless you learn to touch girls in all the right spots. Sorry, but that’s the truth. I’ve never seduced a woman without touching her and you won’t either…unless she’s a virtual girlfriend.

What if you’re too shy?

Start small. Nobody says you should touch a girl’s ass in the first interaction. In fact, you shouldn’t. Start by touching her hand. You’ll shake it anyway so that shouldn’t be a problem. Continue with her arm. Then touch her neck while whispering something in her ear.

Okay, I get it.

That sounds easy, but without a step-by-step guide, it’s a bit too theoretical. Well, what a coincidence…I wrote a step-by-step guide on touching girls. Check it out and make her enjoy your touch.

That’s how to get a girl to date you by using your hands.

9. Be Honest about Your Attraction for Her

Now you know how to use your hands.

What about your mouth?

Oh, uhhmm…I’m not talking about pleasing her with your mouth. That comes later when you’re already dating her. I think about the words that come out of your mouth.

Are the honest or phony?

An honest man tells a girl that he’s attracted to her. A phony man hides his attraction because he doesn’t want to offend her. If you want to know how to get a girl to date you, you have to understand one thing.

Women respect honesty and despise phoniness.

She wants to know if you are attracted to her. Hell, she has a right to know it. She doesn’t want to waste her time with a guy who doesn’t want to date you. And she’ll never know unless you are honest about your attraction.

Of course, there are different ways to do that:

It doesn’t matter how you communicate it. Just do it.

10. Make Her Laugh When She’s Grumpy 

What else can you do to get a girl to date you?

Well, you can make her laugh. It’s definitely better than making her cry. A girl who cries tears of laughter will date you. A girl who cries because you piss her off so much won’t. Or maybe she will. Some chicks are crazy.

Anyway, making her laugh is the better option.

Unfortunately, most guys do it wrong. They crack jokes because they think SHE likes them. They say things because they think SHE thinks they’re funny. That’s now how to do it. Women know when you’re full of shit. And if you do that, you are full of shit.

Instead…

Say what YOU think is funny. Crack jokes that YOU laugh about.

How can I possibly say that you can’t do anything wrong?

She’ll laugh when you laugh, even if the joke sucks. As long as you think it’s funny, she’ll laugh too. Humor is contagious. Seriously, that’s how it works. The more you enjoy yourself, the more she’ll enjoy your presence.

11. Be There for Her When She Needs You  

Nope, I’m not talking about being her tissue paper.

That’s what friendzoned guys do. They are there for her when she talks about how sad she is that her abusive football player boyfriend dumped her for another chick. They listen because they hope that they will be the guy she complains about next…someday.

That’s NOT what I mean.

There’s a big difference between being her tissue paper and being her emotional support. A guy who gives a girl emotional support, is there for her when she really needs him. He hugs her and tells her that everything will be alright.

Let me give you some examples:

Hah! That was a test!

The first two examples are legit. The last example is a red flag. Don’t ever give your credit card to a girl who has money issues. A friend of mine did that and she ended up buying a car with it. Don’t be her financial support. Be her emotional support. That’s enough.

12. Spend Time with Her Outside of the Bedroom  

Yep, you can’t dry hump her all day.

The time will come when she wants to do something else. And that’s okay. In fact, this is one of the reasons why I lost some amazing girls who wanted to date me. I remember one girl who stopped responding to my texts because I was too “superficial” (these were her words). 

Now what?

I wanted to sleep with her again and again and again. I was so obsessed with sex that I ignored all her other needs. She wanted to go on adventures. She wanted to get to know me. I wanted to bang her. That was the problem.

If I had focused 10% less on sex and 10% more on connecting with her outside of the bedroom, I would have ended up dating her. But no, her incredible body blinded me so much that I didn’t see what was going on.

I lost her.

Learn from my mistake. Then you won’t lose the next girl you want to date.

13. Learn How to Get and Keep a Girlfriend  

Here’s the truth:

It’s one thing to learn how to get a girl to date you. It’s another thing to keep her once you are dating. In fact, getting her is the easy part. You just have to follow the advice I share in this article. Believe me. Follow point 1-12 and she’ll do what you want her to do.

What’s the next step?

Most guys don’t even know how to get a woman to date them. But even the ones who figure it out are pretty good at losing her again. I hope you won’t be one of them.

That’s why I hope you check out chapter 5 of my book.

In this chapter, I share everything about getting and keeping a girlfriend.

The truly powerful seducers are the ones who keep the treasures they collect. And let’s face it. You are here because you want to date a girl for more than two weeks. You want her so bad that “forever” seems like a good goal.

You can’t just give up after a couple of days…

14. Be Patient and Persistent  

I recently watched a video from Grant Cardone.

In the video he talks about how he convinced his wife to date him. And yes, convince is the right word. If I remember it correctly, he called her for 13 months every week and she never picked up the phone.

Now that dude is persistent!

Of course, you don’t have to take it to the extreme. Of course, if your only goal is to get her in bed in 24 hours, you have to put a bit more persistent. But you clicked on this article because you wanted to figure out how to get a girl to date you.

Here’s what this means:

Patience is more important than persistence.

You don’t want to bombard her with texts or calls. That might have worked for Grant Cardone, but there’s a high chance that it won’t work for you. Instead, you want to be patient. Yes, you call her, text her, and meet her.

But you can’t expect her to date you after one night.

Some girls need less time. Others need more time. In the end, all that counts is that she wants to date you. She will. I promise.

Summed Up Wisdom 

Figuring out how to get a girl to like you can seem like solving a Rubik’s Cube. But it doesn’t have to be like that. With the right mindset, you can do it easily and effortlessly. You just have to ignore the naysayers and take action. Yes, ask her out.

Get her on a date she’ll never forget and present yourself as a man she’ll never want to live without. Come on. You can do it. I know it because you have a unique selling proposition…even if it’s your fetish for video games from the 90s.

I’m sure you’re also a good lover. But keep in mind that you want to get a girl to date you. This also includes time spent outside of the bedroom. Yep, that’s hard. It’s especially hard because you are so attracted to her. Why don’t you let her know?