Learning how to get a girl interested in you is easier than solving the theorem of Pythagoras …at least when you know what to do.
You don’t have to be a famous rockstar who has more money than he can spend and more cocaine than he can snore. You also don’t have to be a globetrotting doctor with millions on his bank account, even though you will eventually become a globetrotter if you decide to live the global seduction lifestyle.
You also don’t need to be the reincarnation of superman in order to gain the attention of the beautiful and tender species that we call women. Unless a girl is a notorious gold digger without heart and soul, she won’t care about all the things that you think women are interested in.
Most men believe that they have to appear perfect, that they have to hide their weaknesses and that they have to work extremely hard to get a girl interested in them.
The truth is that you don’t have to do any of those things.
All you need to do is to follow a few simple steps that have the sole purpose of showing her that you are an interesting man without desperately trying to convince her that you are this man. I know it’s confusing but it will soon make perfect sense.
Learning how to get a girl interested in you is comparable with running an online business. You can either decide to screw everyone over and go broke after a month, or you can build a strong fundamental for your long-term success.
You can either decide to act like a complete idiot, because you desperately hope that you will get a girl’s interest by being the most noticeable guy in the room, or you can invest some time and effort in learning how to get a girl interested in you by behaving in a way that makes it impossible for her to not be drawn towards you.
About three years ago I made the decision to use the second strategy and I really hope that you make the same decision.
How Most Guys Try to Get a Girl’s Interest (and Fail Miserably)
Unfortunately, most guys think that they have to make idiots out of themselves in order to get girls interested in them. I don’t want to offend you but if you act and behave like this, you have absolutely no clue about what women find interesting and attractive in a man.
The big problem is that you see this kind of behavior wherever you look.
You just have to turn on the TV and you see shows like A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila (sorry, I haven’t watched TV in 5 years) or The Bachelorette, in which men behave like complete idiots to get the attention of women that would be seen as below average looking in the Ukraine.
In today’s society it is pretty easy to believe that all you have to do to get a woman interested in you is to throw your brain out of the window and to act like a well-trained puppy on caffeine.
They Try to Impress Her With Stuff
Did you know that trying to impress someone and being impressive are two completely different things?
It seems as if a lot of men don’t know that, otherwise they would stop trying to impress women with expensive dates, their job title and never-ending monologues about their new car.
The only women you will attract with this behavior are gold diggers who ignore the fact that they have zero interest in you, as long as you pamper them with nice presents.
Any other woman with at least a glimmer of dignity and self-respect will be turned off by this behavior.
You might think that you communicate strength and status when you try to impress a woman with whatever you have (or don’t have).The only thing you really communicate is the assumption that you don’t deserve her. Every woman with half a brain will know that you have to list your stuff, because you think that you as a person are not enough.
Instead of showing strength and status you only show weakness, self-doubt and the fear of being unworthy. No self-confident woman wants to spend her time with a man who believes that he is unworthy of her.
Unless you boost your self-confidence, you will feel unworthy until you are old and grey.
They Act Like a Dancing Monkey
Do you know those ADHD-guys who think that acting like a complete weirdo is the key to unlocking every girl’s panties?
I call those men ADHD-guys because they obviously think that the best way to draw a girl’s attention to them is by acting like a dancing monkey. I have seen hundreds of those guys and besides feeling very sorry for them, I always get the feeling that I should give them some medication.
In case you are just getting angry at me because you recognize yourself, I want to give you some advice that comes from the bottom of my heart:
Just because a woman is laughing in your presence doesn’t mean that she has a sexual interest in you.
She might laugh at you and a woman who is laughing at a man might feel a certain level of amusement, but she certainly doesn’t feel it.
By being a dancing monkey you only achieve that girls are interested in your behavior for the few seconds you entertain them, but that doesn’t mean that they are also interested in you in a sexual and emotional way.
They Dress to Impress
Have you been to a club lately?
I honestly hate night clubs because of several reasons but one major reason why I try to avoid them whenever I can, is because I always have to shake my head when I see all those guys who desperately try to get some attention from women by walking around like the lovechild of Mystery and Flavor Flav.
Peacocking, as a concept of the seduction community, is nothing but a desperate attempt to stand out from the masses with something you wear, instead of standing out from the masses because of something you are.
I don’t say that dressing up is a bad idea. I also feel comfortable in a nice suit, but as soon as you wear something because you want to get attention and not because you feel good wearing it, you always come from a place of low self-esteem and women will immediately see right through you.
Whenever I go to a club I feel kind of sorry for all those insecure guys with their caps and their ten chains who stand alone in the corner, looking terribly lonely and uncomfortable.
They Act Like the Deaf Version of James Bond
Besides looking like a rockstar who needs a drug rehab, some men decide to fall into the other extreme. Instead of behaving like one of those degenerated reality TV stars they decide that the best way to attract women is by using the good old James Bond charm.
When you look at the overall concept, they are absolutely right. Having the charm, the mysterious presence and the charisma of James Bond is definitely an advantage when you want to learn how to get a girl interested in you.
The only thing that most of those self-proclaimed MI6 agents forget is that the real James Bond opens his mouth and actually approaches the ladies he smiles at.
Giving a lady the sign that you are interested in her is great, but don’t be so naïve and believe that she will approach you, just because you smiled at her and she decided to smile back. Even though this can be an obvious sign of interest from her side, it is still your job to act upon it.
I have seen it too many times that a man tried to appear calm and suave while looking at a girl, just to see him doing nothing after she had smiled at him. Sending out signs to women and still not doing anything is even more painful than doing nothing at all.
Are you ready for some more desperate attempts to get a girl interested in you that just don’t work?
Then watch the following video before you continue reading:
How to Get a Girl Interested in You: The Step-By-Step Guide
Let’s have a look at what you really have to do if you want to get the ladies interested in you. You already know that peacocking, impressing her with stuff and behaving like a desperate loser by agreeing on everything the princess says is not a good idea.
If you want to succeed, you have to do things differently.
Do you remember my online business example where I told you that you could either be the narrow-minded spammer or the guy who is willing to work for his success?
Good, because now it is time to make this decision in regards to your dating life. Stop spamming women by trying to be loud, flashy and by saying the bullshit that you think they want to hear and start to work on yourself.
A girl can only be interested in you if you are a man who has certain features that make it possible to awaken interest. In other words, you will automatically learn how to get a girl interested in you once you know what it means to be an interesting man who does interesting things and who shares those things with the women he wants to attract.
Let’s have a look what defines a man who is interesting in the eyes of a woman.
Follow Your Vision
Do you really believe that a beautiful and self-confident woman will be interested in you when you waste your precious lifetime in front of the TV?
Do you really think that a woman wants to be around you when you have absolutely no vision in life, no goals and no plan where you are heading towards?
You don’t have to be rich in order to attract women and it also doesn’t matter if you are living with your parent’s or in your private loft apartment. The reason why women are drawn to men who are successful is not because they have financial resources, but because they have the right mindset that allowed them to achieve financial success.
Follow your vision and you’ll meet a lot of women who are interested in you along the way.
“I would love to follow this advice, but I don’t have a vision…”
Yes, there are certain laws that make men irresistibly attractive. Having a vision is one of them.
Everybody has a vision. Every man has something that drives him on, something that he wants to achieve, something that he would do if he would know that failure is not possible. The only problem is that you buried your vision under the fear of being judged by other people for what you really want to do.
An interesting man is a man who walks the path he truly wants to walk on, who has a vision and who is willing to share his vision with the women who decide to follow him on his path. Once you stop lying to yourself and embark on your path, you will see that there are many breathtaking women who want to join you.
Choose Girls According to Your Interests
Let’ assume you are a metal freak with long hair and more black band-shirts in his closet than socks. Do you think you can get a hip hop chick who listens to Lil Wayne screaming “young moolah baby”?
Well, it is possible, even though it will be very difficult to get her enthusiastic about you and your dress code.
What if you decide to approach a girl who is also into metal and who has the same band shirts as you?
The chance that she will be interested in you is a lot higher than the chance that a girl who adores Lil Wayne will look at you and say to herself “this is the hairy man of my dreams”.
Stop making everything so complicated.
Once you surround yourself with girls who have the same interests as you learning how to get a girl interested in you is incredibly easy. Even though a popular saying says that opposite attracts, the truth is that we prefer people who are similar to us.
Getting a woman who thinks like you and who shares the same passion, it is not that difficult to get her attention.
Make the First Move
I already told you that trying to be James Bond without having the balls to actually talk to her is a deadlock. Beating yourself up for not approaching a girl who smiled back at you is not very helpful for your self-esteem.
Women don’t want a ball-less loser who pretends to be James Bond, even though he can’t order a Martini from a hot waitress without himself.
Women are attracted to fearless, confident and honest guys.
Standing in a relaxed position is good and giving her a seductive smile is even better, but unless you suit the action to the signs, you won’t seduce her. Women will only be interested in you if you have the courage to make the first move.
Stop Acting and Start Being
I know that it is tempting to tell the next girl you are on a date with that you acted in countless Hollywood movies and won an Oscar, even though you have actually failed your acting class in high school. It would be nice to tell girls stuff like that but the last thing you should do is to pretend to be someone you are not.
Stop acting and start being.
Whenever you pretend to be someone you are not, you always communicate to women that you have to play-act because of your own insecurities.
She might not see through you on the first date but she will eventually find out that the person who approached her is not the person she ended up in bed with. Once she has unmasked you, she will jump out of your bed and straight into the arms of a guy who didn’t lie to her.
Be who you are and allow her to become interested in the person that you truly are, even if that is someone who has never stood in front of a camera.
Have Your Own Opinion
I think the day when men will finally stop telling girls what (they think) they want to hear will never come. Doesn’t matter, I am happy when I can at least convince you that throwing your own opinion out of the window.
Women might smile at you when you tell them exactly what they want to hear, even though you have a completely different opinion, but they only do it because they want to appear nice while they think “such a pathetic little pussy”.
They DON’T do it because they are sexually attracted to you!
No woman thinks “this man agrees on everything I say. I really admire his honesty and his courage to represent his opinion.”
If you want to learn how to get a girl interested in you, you have to start representing your opinion, even if the girl you are with sees things differently. She will respect and admire you for your courage. This respect and admiration can easily lead to the desire to feel your dick between her legs.
Reveal Who You Are, Not What You Have
I already told you that some guys think that the best way to get inside a woman’s heart is by buying it. Be smarter than those unintentional gold digger hunters and reveal who you are instead of what you own.
There is only one reason why a woman decides to go on a date with you. She wants to use this time to find out if she is interested in you. She doesn’t want to use this time to find out if she is interested in buying your car or giving your boss as a little thank-you gift because he was kind enough to promote you.
Unless she has telepathic powers, the only way for her to find out if you are an amazing guy she wants to be with, is by listening to what you have to say about yourself.
Do you want to know how to get a girl interested in you?
Show her that you are an interesting guy and share your amazing lifestyle with her.
And find out how to have an amazing lifestyle.
Summed Up Wisdom
Are you ready to learn how to get a girl interested in you?
Stop doing what everyone does. Forget about impressing her with your stuff, with your clothes, with your behavior and stop pretending to be James Bond when you can’t even walk up to a woman without yourself. It is time to become an interesting man and one thing that makes a man interesting is his vision.
You also don’t have to make learning how to get a girl interested in you more difficult than it has to be. Choose the women you want to spend your time with according to your own interests and make the first move on them. Stop acting, have your own opinion and reveal who you truly are.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks a lot!
Patrick Dunne says
You’ve certainly changed my mindset.
Honest and to the point.
You hit the nail on the head.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks man! I hope you enjoy putting my advice into practice.
Awesome post! All of this advice is exactly what I have been looking for. As someone who’s responsibilities will soon include a lot more reaching out and getting active in social conversations, this was great to read. I especially like that you included how important it is to track you conversations, don’t just have them. So important to continue to analyze and better strategize to have better more valuable communications with your audience.
Sebastian Harris says
Celebrate the small wins!
yeah, its probably not that difficult getting girls interested in you, i’ve likely just been doing the wrong things all this time.
my biggest issue is making the first move. i was recently on a second date with a girl and i didn’t make a move to try to kiss her. it just didn’t feel like the right moment and i’ll be honest….i was a bit afraid (don’t have much dating experience)to try to kiss her.
she’s completely ignored me since our last date, so i think its safe to say she lost interest in me. its no big deal, at least i got a second date, i usually don’t get that far—so i must be improving. 🙂
Sebastian Harris says
thanks a lot for that comment. Good advice.
Chu Kem says
There are a lot of tips and tricks that you can take with you in order to learn how to see a girl again, but many of them are going to involve tricks. If you don’t want to stoop to that level, you’re not alone. There are a lot of people trying to figure out how to go on another date with someone they like, and they aren’t sure how to do it. Sometimes, you have to be direct, other times you have to take things slow. What do you do? Don’t panic. The following tips are going to help you gain the upper hand in your dating life: Get Excited About New Things; Go To A Big Event Together; Just Ask Her Out.
What is that job which allow you to travel and you are passionate about 🙂 ?
Sebastian Harris says
your got it! You don’t have to lie and act like someone you are not. Approach suicide? Compliments are awesome as long as they are honest. It makes me happy to hear that you are on the right track. Keep on going!
Great article Sebastian. I stumbled onto your site a few days ago and have been binge reading all your articles. Lots of great content, this one in particular is gold. For a long time I believed I needed to lie and act like someone I’m not to impress women. It never felt right and I couldn’t do it which left me believing I couldn’t suceed with women. I just don’t believe in the materialism and celebrity worship that is so prevalent in western culture. Additionally the advice I could find on the internet all suggested either being a jerk or playing some game to trick girls. I’m a nice guy and want to be myself so seeing this terrible dishonest advice just left me feeling more hopeless. Your advice about being a nice guy and approaching girls with direct compliments really resonated with me because it seems so natural and honest. It seems so foolish that I used to believe complimenting a girl was approach suicide. I’m sure it will be a little uncomfortable to put myself out there like this but I can work through that. I’ve recently started following my vision and working to become the man I want to be. I found a new job I am actually passionate about, am working on getting back in shape, and most importantly I am traveling the world. The points made in your article really reaffirm that I am on the right track. Hopefully this can also be my first step in developing the kind of female relationships I’ve always wanted. Thanks for the great articles and keep up the good work.