You really want to know how to find a fuck buddy?
Let me guess:
But you want THIS
Am I right?
I hope I am because I’m about to share everything you need to know to turn a beautiful girl into your friend with benefits. And yes, it’s okay to have this desire. You’re not a bad person, just because you don’t want a marriage, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence.
Maybe you’ve already tried to get what you want.
It’s always the same sad story:
You’re so horny that you can’t take it anymore. Then you type something into Google and you end up on one of those hookup dating sites. The female members look like the girls in porn movies. They can’t be real. You know it but you sign up anyway.
You end up getting scammed by this dodgy hookup site and your balls remain blue.
That’s why I decided to write this article for you:
Are you ready to learn how to find, get, and keep a fuck buddy?
Then let’s get started…
How to Get a Fuck Buddy (Step-By-Step)
I love these types of relationships and do you know why?
You don’t have to deal with the cons of a normal relationship:
Have your choice
That’s why so many guys want a friend’s with benefits relationship. Not many guys would say”no” to no strings attached sex with a hot girl once or twice a week. There’s just one problem.
You don’t believe that it’s possible.
Come on. Be honest. I also grew up with the belief that all women want a relationship and a big fat diamond ring. Actually, it’s pretty funny. Only my married friends get defensive when I tell them that a lot of girls are open to casual sex.
Here’s the truth:
There are thousands of women on Hookup apps who would take you as a fuck buddy.
You just have to get them…
1. Choose the Right Venue
Where do you go when you want to eat a steak?
You don’t go to a vegetarian restaurant. The same principle applies to getting a fuck buddy. Go to the wrong place and it’s almost impossible to find what you’re looking for. Go to the right place and it’s easier than stealing candy from a child.
Avoid the church, the library, and book stores.
Instead, check out these venues:
I know. These are not the typical venues other guys write about. But these are the best. Just think about it. So many girls go to clubs because they want to get laid. The same is true for bars. And yeah, swinger clubs are great to meet fuck buddies. I mean, that’s the only thing these women want.
What about art galleries?
Call me crazy but every girl I know who’s into art is free-spirited. Art and sexual liberation go hand in hand. That’s at least my experience.
2. Make a Direct Approach
You want to have sex with her.
There’s no need to hide the truth. Okay, you shouldn’t walk up to a total stranger and ask her if she wants to sleep with you. You have to approach a lot of girls to make this approach work…
You don’t have to be THAT direct!
Just don’t hide your dick. Make a direct approach. Let her know that you are attracted to her. The worst thing you could do is to try to sneak into her panties by using indirect lines. Please don’t ask her for advice on a birthday present for your little sister.
Instead, tell her the truth:
Make sure that she knows what’s going on and doesn’t put you in the friend zone.
3. Touch Her from the Get Go
You have to be comfortable with touching.
You have to increase the sexual tension and you have to do it fast. You don’t want her to think of you as a friend…or a boyfriend.
Finding a girlfriend is all about connecting on a deep level, getting to know each other, and sharing past experiences and future dreams. That’s all fine and dandy, but that’s not why you’re here. You want to know how to find a fuck buddy.
Touch her from the start.
Let her know that you want a physical relationship.
4. Share Naughty and Adventurous Stories
In which category do you want her to put you?
The answer is obvious.
It should also be obvious what kind of stories you share with her. Unfortunately, most men don’t think about that. They share harmless stories friends would share. Or they share romantic stories boyfriends would share.
You’re neither her friend nor her boyfriend.
The stories you share with her should be in alignment with your desire. You’re here to learn how to get a fuck buddy. That’s why your stories should contain adventure, freedom, and sex. Your stories tell her who you are and what you want.
The right story leads to the desired outcome.
5. Sell Yourself as Open-Minded and Free-Spirited
Take it one step further.
She might be…
It doesn’t matter. You have to sell yourself. I talked about this in one of my recent podcasts. Picking up girls is about selling yourself. And the way you sell yourself should represent your desire. In other words, you claim to be what you want her to think of you.
You’re not looking for the love of your life.
So don’t give her the feeling that you do. Don’t talk about marriage, starting a family, or even being in a relationship. This is NOT what you’re looking for. I know. It’s tempting to take this road because it’s easier to sweet-talk a girl into bed.
But it will backfire. Believe me.
Sell yourself as the free-spirited and open-minded person you want her to be.
Be honest, goddammit!
6. Find Out What She’s Looking for
Not every girl wants to have a fuck buddy.
There’s only one thing you can do about that: ask her!
Ask her the right questions and you’ll get the right answers. Don’t waste your time with a woman who wants something completely different. And don’t waste her time too. Be honest and be fair. The right girl is out there.
In fact, a lot of girls give fuck buddy clues:
If she’s “kind of” seeing someone, he’s not her boyfriend. And if she’s laid-back, open-minded and not looking for anything serious, she’s ready to rumble.
7. Let Her Know That You’re the Same
What if she leaves out the “kind of”?
Leave her alone. She’s in a happy relationship and that’s okay. You can’t expect to score every single time. She’s not the type of girl you’re looking for. But maybe she mentions the “kind of”.
Let her know that you’re just like her.
What a coincidence. Of course, you shouldn’t say something along the lines of “Awesome. I’m also open-minded. Let’s fuck”. That’s not very classy.
How about these lines:
Be playful and let her know that you want to play with her.
8. Get Her Back to Your Place
Let’s play.
You know that she’s a free-spirited girl. And you want to play with her. You’re so close to having a fuck buddy. And no, don’t even think about getting her number or setting up another date. It’s time to close the deal.
Here are some things you shouldn’t do right now:
You can say goodbye the next morning. Your job is to get her back to your place. The first step is to have a one night stand. This one-night stand can lead to a second time, and a third time and…you get the point.
You’ve read my book Rise of the Phoenix, right?
Then you know how to invite her to follow you straight to your bedroom.
9. Offer Her to Come Over a Second Time
What if the one-night stand sucks…and not in a good way?
Mhhh…she might not fuck buddy material.
But let’s imagine the best case scenario. She’s really good in bed, you didn’t shoot your load in two seconds and you have a genuine connection. That’s the perfect foundation for a friend’s with benefits relationship.
Here’s what you do now:
You ask her if she wants to come over again.
Yes, it’s really that simple. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t ask her to hang out some time. You already had sex, for Christ’s Sake. Be honest about what you want. And accept if she doesn’t want the same.
Not every one-night stand turns into more.
But having a one-night stand is the only way to get a fuck buddy.
How to Be a Good Fuck Buddy
Can you really be bad at this?
Well, you could…
All these things are bad. But she might forgive you for them…except the mom thing. However, there are some things you can’t do if you’re in this type of relationship.
Here’s how to do it right…
10. Don’t Be Desperate and Needy
She has no time and that’s okay.
That’s life. You shouldn’t see each other every day anyway. That’s too much. Learning how to find a fuck buddy is one thing. Maintaining this type of relationship is another. And if you’re not careful, you’ll slide in a real relationship.
Are you guys still fuck buddies?
Here are some basic rules:
Accept that you are not in a real relationship. That’s what you wanted.
11. Be the Anti-Boyfriend for Her
You’re not her boyfriend.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend. Women fall in love through sex. It’s very common for girls to want more after a while. That’s how Mother Nature designed them.
What if you don’t want more?
Don’t raise her hopes.
Be the anti-boyfriend and avoid things, such as…
Trade the romantic restaurant with sea view for your cozy bed and see-through lingerie.
12. Avoid Asking Her About Other Guys
Are you jealous?
Well, that’s a no-go. You wanted to know how to get a fuck buddy. Jealousy doesn’t go well with this desire. You are not in a committed relationship. You have no right to be jealous when she’s seeing other guys.
Of course, you can establish rules.
Some fuck buddies agree on being exclusive… to ditch the condom.
What if you haven’t agreed upon anything?
Don’t ask her about other guys and don’t even think about ditching the condom.
13. Talk About Your Feelings on Your Own Risk
Welcome to the danger zone.
You might be a total badass. But you still have emotions. Maybe you want more than a fuck buddy relationship. Life is in constant flow. Things can change. Maybe you fell in love with another girl. That’s also possible.
The direction doesn’t matter because the danger is the same.
By talking about your feelings you risk destroying your fuck buddy relationship. But taking this risk can also be an opportunity.
Keep that in mind before you get emotional.
14. Keep the Romance in Front of the Door
Are you the romantic type of guy?
Stop it!
You want to have a fuck buddy and not a romantic relationship. And please don’t pretend to be romantic to play with her. That’s being an asshole. The moment you start being romantic, her “boyfriend” radar makes beep beep.
Don’t get me wrong though:
Just don’t watch the most romantic Richard Gere movie with her.
15. Don’t Kiss and Tell
This is the most important rule of all.
Now you know how to find a fuck buddy, but you’ll never be able to keep her if you kiss and tell. Women are afraid of being judged. She’s afraid to be seen as a slut. Society wants her to be in a normal relationship. You want the opposite.
Make it easier for her, not harder.
Enjoy the time with her and if you want more girls you can check out my bestselling book.
Summed Up Wisdom
You want to know how to find a fuck buddy. Then stop going to the wrong places. You probably won’t find her in a library. But you will find her in a bar, club or at an art gallery. Just trust me with the art gallery.
What do you do? Well, you don’t hide your balls. You approach her in a way that communicates “I want you.” You’re sexual and you’re not afraid to touch her. Oh, and don’t forget to take her home. You need that one-night stand.
Congratulations, you are officially two fuck buddies. Hallelujah! Now you just have to overcome your neediness and your paranoia about the other guys she might or might not see. And don’t be so romantic about your secret.
That’s awesome!
Sebastian, I have found the perfect type of a fuck buddy… at the library (YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY ADAMANT ABOUT CHOOSING THE RIGHT VENUE). And I had made it really vested with emotions (and did give her money for study purposes). Everything about her fits, except that I also mistakenly extracted love in form of a potential romance while I was sourcing to make her sexually addicted to me… and I get the feeling she has a compulsive disorder. How I ratify it? BECAUSE I GOT. This where it gets complicated; I said I love her, and half the time I was, well, fully aware of what is happening but confused her as a potential GF for an identified fuck buddy. Man, how the fuck do I have a safe exit from this fake relationship and still maintain that pussy? If there aren’t exit strategies, then its cool. I learnt my lesson; I really don’t have to date a flower. I can pick it up, have fun with it, but in terms of dating a flower, gosh, how messed up will you mistake it as a soulmate. (Funny note: saw the butterflies that had flown over her head. I guess that must have meant the ‘butterfly effect’ is coming towards my way, IF AN EXIT STRATEGY ISN’T THERE!)
You’re welcome
Thanks for the advice!
I know this too well. But I’m getting better at it.
Hey Alex,
try to use a lot of action words in your stories. Look at how people tells stories in movies. It’s hard to explain. You need to practice. It depends on how she’s staring. With a smile? Without a smile? I could only teach you these things in a live coaching.
Hello there. I have to say that i really appreciate what you’re doing and that the info you’re sharing is really useful. However, i do have two questions. First, how do you make stories sound adventurous? How do you say them? No matter how adventurous my stories actually are, they sound more boring than a weather forecast. Secondly, how do you interpret a blunt stare from a girl? Like having a serious, persistent stare on you(with certainty she isn’t lost in thoughts and randomly staring somewhere). Sorry if the questions sound stupid, but i can’t figure them out myself, so i need some help.
My issue is everytime they fall in love with me…