Are you a nice guy?
Oh my god, I really uttered the terrible two words that everybody in the seduction community is afraid to be called.
How dare I to ask you if you belong to this weird breed of men who have trouble getting laid because they are way too nice?
In case you just got goosebumps and your face looks like this…
…you might have heard the following sentence:
“You are such a nice guy, but…”
The very moment a girl uses the little word “but”, your whole world sinks like the Titanic after it said hello to the little ice berg.
You feel as if you would lose ground. It hurts when a human being with breasts calls you a nice guy. Especially, because we all know what women really mean when they call us like that.
The direct translation of the sentence “you are such a nice guy, but…” is:
“You are a boring man who doesn’t make me wet and who will never be able to trigger any feeling of sexual arousal in me. Of course I know that you want to fuck me, but this will never happen.”
This hurts a lot and I think we’ve all been in a situation in which we have been described with the label that no man wants to hear…ever. I have been there (a hundred times), you have been there and millions of other men have been there.
What if I tell you that knowing how to be nice is not really the reason why you don’t get laid?
What if I tell you that everything you know about being a nice guy is nothing but a lie?
What if I tell you that you can be nice and still get as many girls into your bed as you wish?
This time you should be positively shocked…obviously!!!
Let’s have a look at what being nice really means, what it doesn’t mean, the kind of “nice” that protects your virginity and how you can be nice in a way that gets you laid.
I know that it sounds confusing but I know hope that it won’t be confusing anymore after you have read this article.
How to be Nice and Finish Last
No matter if you are a worshipper of the seduction community, if you have read some articles about dating or if you don’t know the difference between the word PUA and Poop…
…at some point in your dating life you have heard the saying that nice guys always finish last. In other words, they have to jerk off to internet porn while the badass motherfuckers, gangsters and jerks get all the women and cover them in sperm from head till toe.
Is it really true that men who are too nice have absolutely no chance with women?
Well, if you think of what the word “nice” really means and what people and especially men associate with it, you come to realize that our perception of what men should do and should not do in order to avoid the famous sentence with the little “but” is completely wrong.
I can’t think of any other word that gets more misunderstood than the word that labels men who behave in a way that makes women want to spend a lot of time with them, as long as they are at least five kilometers away from a bed.
The Dangerous Misconception of the Word Nice
What does being nice really mean?
I had a look in the dictionary and the words that came up were pleasant, caring and delightful.
Honestly, are any of those three words really bad?
Do any of those three words describe a characteristic that could possibly hinder you from putting your penis inside a woman’s vagina?
Hell no!
I would describe myself as a pleasant guy and I would also describe myself as a very pleasing guy, especially when it comes to pleasing women in the bedroom. I am also a very caring guy. If I have a girl in my life who I am in love with or who I have at least a deep connection with I am very caring. I love to fulfill my job as a man and to lead her in a way that makes her happy.
None of those words are particularly bad. The original understanding of being a nice guy is not bad at all. I can guarantee you that your chances of getting laid will increase if you are a delightful, caring and pleasant man.
If you do what this hairy and incredibly likable guy says in his video and women (and people in general) will love you:
The only problem is that most people totally misunderstand the concept of a guy who knows how to be nice. If men would behave according to the three words that the dictionary reveals, they would get laid.
Unfortunately, when most guys try to be nice in order to get laid, they do the exact opposite of being pleasant, caring and delightful.
Most guys who use the tactic of being nice in order to eventually end up with some pussy, which by the way never works, are phony little liars who pretend to be someone they are not.
Do you really want to be such a guy?
You are NOT a Nice Guy
If you are trying to seduce girls with the “nice guy method”, or however you want to call it, you are not nice!
Please get that into your brain.
You would be nice if you would act according to the principles of the original definition of this word and believe it or not, this behavior would help you a lot with women. However, if you behave like the typical nice guy who tries to use overly pleasing behavior to get girls, you are anything but nice.
Or is it nice to lie to a girl?
Is it nice to pretend to be somebody you are not, just to let her discover your real self when you get angry and mad after she rejected you with the sentence with the little but?
Is it nice to waste a girl’s time by being a little phony motherfucker who never says what he really thinks and who therefore doesn’t allow any true connection?
That’s not nice at all, but that’s exactly what the typical nice guys do.
They lie to girls and they tell them everything they (think) they want to hear in order to get in their panties. No nice guy really wants to do the stuff he does. Therefore he always pretends to be someone he is not. That’s the perfect foundation for every form of relationship, right?
“Well, well, well. I really like your handbag, is it from Dolce and Gabbana? I think we should meet for a round of chess later, but definitely NOT to have sex!”
No nice guy really wants to hide his true opinion and his intent. Every guy who behaves like this thinks about licking and fucking the girl he just told on a non-verbal level that he just wants to be friends with her.
If you always land in the friend zone and you think that you know how to be nice but you don’t know how to seduce women, it is time for you to change your behavior. Stop being someone you are not. Stop lying and stop pretending.
You need to understand the difference between the original definition of being nice, which is a good thing and the misconception that most guys are infected with. And guess what? The infection that most sleazy wannabe PUAs are infected with is anything but helpful in terms of your seduction success.
Women love men who are nice and they also want to fuck men who treat them and other people good.
However, they hate men who act like the typical nice guy.
Get the difference?
The Real Reasons Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Laid
You already know that you have to stop acting like a nice guy and that being nice as a technique or tactic to get girls doesn’t work. I think I have made it clear that this way of “seducing” women doesn’t lead to anything but blue balls and a bunch of shattered dreams and NOT to incredible orgasms.
It is no secret that behaving in such a way leads to less sex than a nun could ever have but do you also know WHY learning how to be nice is not the best idea if you want to get laid?
Let’s talk about some behaviors that are totally counterproductive if you want to feel the pink interior of a woman.
You are a Dirty Little Liar
If you continue to behave like the typical nice guy, which includes agreeing with everything a girl says, hiding your own opinion, doing everything she wants and fulfilling her every preposterous wish, you will continue using your bedroom for nothing else but sleeping for the next ten years.
While you think that doing all this bullshit is somehow beneficial for your intention to seduce her, the opposite is true. The truth is that she enjoys it to have somebody around who always agrees with her and who does everything for her.
You would also enjoy having a minion who treats you as if you are the most precious little diamond on earth.
Every woman loves that but just because she loves to have you around doesn’t automatically mean that she respects and desires you.
Do you really think a woman respects a man who doesn’t have the balls to disagree with her on some things…at least on one?
It is simply impossible to always have the same opinion and to always want to do the same thing as another person. Unless you date your clone it is not possible and women know that.
Enjoy your harmonic relationship. I am sure you always have the same opinion!
As soon as she realizes that you are a guy who is afraid to show his real self because you don’t want to offend her, she starts with those nasty little things called shit tests.
This is her last chance to see if she might talk to a real man instead of the insecure boy.
And what do you do???
You screw it up by acting as if learning how to be nice was your major in university. And then you wonder why no woman wants to have sex with you.
Well, a man who women want to sleep with has to fulfill a few criteria and once of those criteria is respect. A woman will neither respect nor fuck you if you lie to her and to yourself by being a nice guy.
You Stand for Nothing (and Fall for Anything)
Do you know the saying “a man who stands for nothing will fall for anything”? I think it was Malcolm X (and the Bible) who said this. Even though the origin of this saying had nothing to do with picking up girls (yes, I mean the real Bible, not The Game aka the Pick-Up Bible), this saying can be directly linked to picking up women and to overcoming the nice guy syndrome.
If you behave in a phony way you are a man who falls for anything. A man who doesn’t have the balls to represent his own opinion in the presence of women is nothing but a weather vane. As soon as the slightest gust hits you in form of a little test, you crack down like a fragile match.
Women want to get undressed by strong men.
Thereby I don’t mean physically strong but emotionally strong. They want men who are there for them in tough times and who lead them into better times.
A man who stands for nothing (not even his own beliefs) will fall for anything. The last thing a woman wants is to fall in bed with such a guy.
You Hide Your Sexual Intent
Do you have a penis?
Be proud of the thing between your legs and its power to spread love…and semen.
Great…but why don’t you show women that you are also willing to use it AND that you want to use it with them and inside of them?
If you only communicate this single desire to the women you interact with you will eventually get laid.
But wouldn’t that be too offensive?
Wouldn’t it be much wiser to pretend that you are an asexual neuter who doesn’t even think about sex?
Wouldn’t it be better to suppress your sexual desires and to hide your sexual intent throughout the whole interaction?
I mean, she might be offended when you tell her how beautiful her boobs are. She might be horrified when she finds out that you want to fuck her…
Wait a second!
You are a man and she is a woman. You have a penis and she has a vagina.
Why the fuck would it be horrifying to her when you project your sexual intent from the beginning and when you make clear that you want her pussy?
It wouldn’t be offensive and horrifying at all!
It would turn her on, it would make her wet and it would trigger the desire in her to suck and fuck you from dusk till dawn.
The only thing that really horrifies her is the fear that she meets another guy who thinks that knowing how to be nice is the key to her vagina.
How to be Nice and Get Laid Like a Rockstar
Now that you know everything about the ridiculous things that you (might) do and why it doesn’t get you laid, it is time to have a look at the behavior that will get you laid without undermining your true calling as the most sexually satisfied nice guy that this world has ever seen.
The biggest misconception that guys have when it comes to the fear of being “the nice guy” is that they have to transform from a nice guy to a complete asshole in order to get some pussy.
This is simply not true.
No woman with a healthy self-esteem wants to be together with a guy who treats her like a piece of shit. Women want guys who know how to be nice, at least when they also know how to be honest and naughty.
I know that it sounds shocking, but you can actually combine your nice guy knowledge with the actions of a real seducer and mix it together to a spicy cocktail that will lead to a warm and pleasant feeling in her heart and in her panties.
Get ready to get laid like a rockstar by being the nicest man on earth!
Be the Nice Guy with Sexual Intent
Being nice and polite can be a tremendous benefit for your relationships with women, no matter if those relationships are solely based on sexuality or on the super weird feeling called love. The truth is that women love to hear nice things.
Women love to hear from you that they are beautiful. They love to hear from you that they look thin in their new dress. They want to hear from you that you are not only attracted to them on a physical level but that you also love their personality.
A woman wants to hear all those things, but she wants to hear them from a man who also has the courage to communicate that he fantasizes about pressing her against a wall, ripping her clothes off and doing all kinds of naughty things with her.
If you are a sexually confident man who knows how to be nice you can say whatever you want. You just have to be careful and let her know that you have both the sexual and the nice side in you.
In the same way as you want a good girl in public and a whore in bed, women want a nice guy in public and a lover in bed.
Be the Honest Man with a Strong Opinion
When a sexually frustrated nice guy talks to a woman for hours, he tries to impress her by agreeing on every damn word she says.
When a sexually fulfilled nice guy talks to a woman for hours, he says what he wants to say because he knows that this motivates her to do what she wants to do.
Deep conversations allow you to connect with her and to get to know all her fears, dreams and personality traits. This can be the perfect foundation for a kinky sexual adventure or for a loving relationship.
The only thing you shouldn’t do during all the hours you talk to her is to hide your opinion and to tell her all the little lies that you think she wants to hear.
As long as you add your own opinion to the conversation and as long as you are confident enough to share your worldview with her, the conversations you have can turn into sex within hours or even minutes.
Be a Gentleman with Balls
By now you should know that it is not wrong to say nice things to a woman (as long as you don’t hide your sexual side). You also know that it is okay to treat women with respect and to be the caring partner she wants (as long as you are strong enough to say what you want to say).
This means that you can be the gentleman you want to be.
Nothing wrong with being a gentleman, as long as you don’t leave your balls at home.
The problem is that the majority of nice guys think that they are the perfect example of a gentleman while they act like the insecure and pitiful version of James Bond at the age of five. No woman wants to sleep with an underage and insecure copy of James Bond.
However, they want to sleep with a gentleman with balls and they want to do it over and over again. Women want to have sex with a guy who does what he wants, says what he wants and acts the way he really is, while treating her like the amazing lady she is.
It is totally okay to be a gentleman as long as you show her that you are not only gentle but also a man.
Don’ you agree that not getting laid because you’re too nice sucks?
Then you’re ready for the next step…
Summed Up Wisdom
How to be nice and get laid? First of all you should rethink the paradigm that nice guys finish last. It is important to understand that the original definition of being nice has nothing to do with the way that so-called nice guys act when they try to “seduce” women.
Being a kind and delightful person doesn’t automatically transform you into someone who thinks that being a phony scumbag leads you on the road to boobs and butts. The classic nice guy doesn’t get laid because he is lying, because he doesn’t stand for anything and because he hides his sexual intent.
You don’t have to become an asshole in order to have sex with beautiful women. All you have to do is to say nice things while you show your sexual intent and to represent your own opinion in conversations. You can be gentle, as long as you also show her that you are a man.
Hey Param,
I am happy to hear that the article helped you.
This article truly helps in developing one’s inner game, man. You didn’t ask one to change their personality, you didn’t ask them to be someone else, even for a minute .. you simply claimed them(including me) to be who they with just a slight idea of being more confident and (hu)manly. Being who they are, naturally; with a very apt description and examples.
This seems like best potential game changer of my life, really. I’m excited!
Thanks a tonne, Sebastian.
Society only wants you to think that showing sexual intent is creepy. Unless you touch a girl from behind or disrespect a clear “no!” it is NOT creepy to approach a girl with the intent to seduce her.
Hey Dacero,
thanks a lot!
Very great article!! it clarifies a lot the misconception that a lot of men has about “nice guys”. As some gurus say, you have to be a good guy with edge! Keep up the great work!
How do you show sexual intent without coming across as a creep? I don’t want to creep a girl out or lie to her.
I’ve noticed that if she’s interested in you then it’s OK but if she’s not then it’s creepy and or harassment.
I’m not sure what to do.
I don’t get the “you are a nice guy but”, it’s more like “i’m sorry, i would have love to go with you to (insert the creative idea of date that i proposed) BUT i don’t have the time/i work/i have a mariage (insert any other BS you can imagine”, this 3 or 4 times, untile i give up (which is her goal).