Are you ready to learn how to be charismatic as James Bond?
Every man wants to have that certain indefinable something that sets him apart from the bulk of guys who are not able to trigger any emotion in a woman. Every man wants to be able to make a woman feel aroused in his presence and loyal in his absence. Every man wants to have the ability to turn a woman’s head and to make her addicted to him within seconds.
The number one thing that distinguishes you from all the other millions of men who want to do the things that I’ve just mentioned is that you will actually be able to do them by learning how to be charismatic.
But before you can get to a stage at which you will be the charismatic man that women dream of and masturbate to, you have to understand what it actually means to be such a man and what it doesn’t mean.
Unfortunately, the common idea of a charismatic man has often nothing to do with the reality.
Most beliefs about charisma and its projection are way too superficial and leave out all the juicy details that are needed to transform you into a charisma machine.
What it Means to be Charismatic (and what NOT)
What does it actually mean to be a charismatic man and how do you become one?
I asked Wikipedia and a couple of dictionaries the same question and the definitions of charisma that were displayed in those sources all contained the same words.
Being charismatic is described as acting in an attractive way that inspires others.
That sounds quite abstract, doesn’t it?
Maybe you get a better understanding of what it means to be charismatic, when we have a look at what it actually doesn’t mean, respectively what society thinks it DOES mean.
To sum up the widespread perception of charisma that bustles around in our society you can simply watch a television commercial for any perfume or aftershave.
According to the society we live in being charismatic means that you have to be a handsome model, wear designer suits and have an expensive watch combined with a ridiculously expensive perfume that probably gives you cancer. Then you have to look at the woman of your dreams in a way as if your congestion would kill you.
Ta-da…you are the most charismatic motherfucker on earth!
I hope it is obvious for you that this is not how it works in reality and that there is so much more that you have to consider than having a pretty face and wearing expensive clothes. Learning how to be charismatic is a process that can only be done successful if you work both on your inner game and on your external appearance.
Your external charisma and your internal charisma go hand in hand and as soon as you neglect one of those two aspects you won’t be able to achieve the results that you want to achieve.
Combining them, however, will transform you to one of the few men on this earth who have the certain something. And if you have the certain something, just like James Bond, you can get away with a lot of things:
How to be Charismatic: External Charisma
When you learn how to be charismatic you can decide between two ways of developing your charisma and of projecting it to the women you want to attract into your life. You can either address this topic on an external level by working on your behavior, appearance and actions, or you can address it on an internal level and whip your inner game into shape.
I first want you to have a look at the external level. The following techniques contain more than the typical advice that tells you to simply stand in an upright position and baaaam….you are the most charismatic motherfucker on earth.
Let’s have a look at all the stuff you can do on an external level in order to become the charismatic man you always wanted to be.
Acting Instead of Reacting
The number one thing that distinguishes charismatic men from guys who have an energy level of a squashed tomato is that they are acting instead of reacting. Guys who learned how to be charismatic know that it is important to stop being a plaything of external influences and that they have to take responsibility for their own life.
As soon as you take responsibility for your life you automatically start to take the steering wheel of your life in your hands and start to drive the way you want to drive, instead of just avoiding obstacles on the road. To give you a few examples of how a guy who acts and a guy who reacts differ from each other, I want you to imagine the following situation:
Imagine you are stepping into a bar with a good friend…
No, that’s not what you should imagine, even if your Saturday nights usually look like this
A charismatic guy who sees an attractive girl in the bar walks up to her and gives her a compliment because acting upon his desires is a natural thing to do for him. A guy who is reactive would rather wait the whole evening for her to give him some sign that will most likely never come.
The guy who acts will get laid, the guy who reacts will jerk off to porn.
Which one of those guys do you want to be?
Develop a Charismatic Lifestyle
Please tell me which one of the following guys is more attractive and interesting to women…
A guy who works in a job that he absolutely hates, who then watches four hours TV when he comes home from work and who might have a gym membership card but never ever used it once.
Or…
A guy who works in a job that he absolutely loves, who then goes to the gym or to a yoga class after he comes home from work and who then reads a few lines in an amazing book, before he meditates for a few minutes in order to get a good night’s sleep.
Even though the answer to this question is pretty obvious, the majority of men act as if a lifestyle that includes being lazy and decomposing in front of the TV is the path to fulfillment.
If you seriously want to learn how to be charismatic there is no way around changing your lifestyle in a way that allows you to project your charisma.
It’s time for Lifestyle Design!
If you live a boring life and do things that are poisoning your physical health, your emotional health and your intellectual health, you will never be able to have an energy level that allows you to attract amazing women.
If you, however, do things you love and engage in activities that are beneficial to your well-being, learning how to be charismatic will become pretty easy for you.
Project your Charisma through your Body
I already said that becomin charismatic consist of more than fixing your posture and hoping for the best. Nevertheless I can’t deny the fact that projecting your charisma though your body is an important aspect of showing the world how great you are.
You can actually do a lot of things with your body that show that you have that certain something that attracts women magically into your life. Besides standing in an upright position you can use your mimic and gesture to show the women you are talking to that it would be a big mistake to not open your pants at some point of the interaction.
A man who truly knows how to be charismatic won’t have any problems with taking the space he needs during a conversation. This means that he rather talks with an inviting gesture, instead of keeping his hands in his pockets.
Use your hands and don’t just let them hang down like a limp dick.
Another thing that you can do in order to appear naturally charismatic is to activate the muscles in your face. You can use your mimic and adjust your facial expression according to the situation that you are in.
If you are having a pleasant conversation with a girl you should look relaxed. When you find out something about her that excites you, the best thing you can do is to show your excitement through your face.
Words of Wisdom
A charismatic guy is a guy who learned how to communicate with a woman in a way that inspires her to get to know him on an emotional and physical level. If you are a master of communication you will automatically project the power that all the common definitions of charisma talk about.
Words can be very powerful and learning how to use certain words in an interaction with women multiplies your chances of getting laid. Communicating in a way that is charismatic can be explained with two simple questions.
What do you say?
How do you say it?
The first question refers to the actual words that you say. If you want to learn how to be charismatic you should learn to speak in a positive way by using powerful words.
Examples would be the words good, beautiful, strong, great, amazing, relaxed, self-confident, affection, love and empathy.
Besides talking in a positive way that allows a deep emotional connection between you and the woman you want to seduce, using sexual words, such as desire, arousal, excitement, pleasure and satisfaction can make you even more charismatic.
Why?
Because you are one of the few guys she’ll ever meet who actually have the balls to talk with her in this way.
The question “how do you say it?” can be answered easily.
A woman will only perceive you as a charismatic guy if you talk with her in a relaxed and calm way while speaking in a volume that allows her to actually understand what you say. A guy who speaks very fast and who mumbles some incomprehensible stuff has no chance to be compared with James Bond.
Activate your Brain Cells
Back in the days when I was very unsuccessful with women I used to think that girls are only attracted to complete douchebags who have no more than three brain cells, one for walking straight and one for turning left or right and one that prevents them from shitting themselves all day long.
I think we all have seen men that looked dumber than a cucumber standing at the corner with a smoking hot blond girl and asked ourselves why the world is so unfair.
As I found out during the months and years of studying the art of seduction, it was actually not their stupidity but their confidence that girls are attracted to.
By staying the intelligent guy that I am and spicing this intelligence up with some confidence, I suddenly became extremely successful with women.
It turned out that women are more attracted to intelligence than I ever thought.
Having a brain leads you on the path to unlimited charisma.
A guy who is intelligent is perceived as charismatic, whereas a guy who is dumb like bread has absolutely no interesting energy that he could project to the world. Ridiculously dumb people will never be able to analyze themselves and to actually project their charisma through their body or their words.
Moreover, a dumb person most likely doesn’t have an interesting lifestyle. If you want to learn how to be charismatic, reading, learning and becoming an interesting man who knows a lot is a good way to start.
How to be Charismatic: Internal Charisma
Let’s face it:
Showing the women you want to attract into your life that you learned how to be charismatic by acting instead of reacting, developing an interesting lifestyle, projecting your charisma through your body and your words and by activating your brain cells is good and will definitely lead to some positive results with the ladies.
However, all those techniques are pretty much useless if you don’t develop your charisma on a deeper internal level. In case you don’t develop your inner game in a way that allows your soul to be in alignment with the external steps you take, you will never leave the fake it till you make it paradigm behind you.
A guy who wants to get to a point in his life where he knows how to be charismatic has to accept and to realize that true charisma is always an interaction between your external actions and your internal beliefs.
Because I know that you are willing to work on your inner game in a way that allows you to become the charismatic guy that you truly want to be, I want to introduce you to the most important principals that will help you to develop your internal charisma.
You can then later combine the following internal processes with the external aspects that I’ve mentioned earlier and become more charismatic than you’ve ever expected.
Develop your Personality
The first step you have to work on when you want to become more charismatic.
Please relax, take a deep breath and ask yourself the following question:
“Do I have a charismatic personality?”
Before you even think about what is required to be charismatic you should have a look at your personality and find out the aspects that are already charismatic about you.
Maybe you are fun to be around and you tell really great jokes. Maybe you are a very honest and authentic person and you treat the people in your life according to those principles. Maybe you are an adventurous guy who loves to travel the world (to get laid of course).
All those personality traits can have a positive impact on your charisma. Even if you think that your personality is completely boring and that you can’t become a guy who knows how to be charismatic you still have the chance to develop your personality in a certain direction.
You are not adventurous? Book a flight and travel somewhere. Afterwards you can still say that it sucked but maybe you’ll realize that you love traveling and being an adventurer.
You don’t like to be around people? Overcome your social anxiety and get in contact with people you like to spend time with.
You are not an honest person? Stop lying and realize that honesty and authenticity is always the best way to go.
It is your decision whether or not you develop your personality in a way that automatically teaches you how to be charismatic.
Become Aware of your Aura
Now it’s getting deep. Before you call me a disillusioned hippie who smoked too much weed I ask you to open your mind for some alternative concepts that help you more with seducing women than you can imagine.
Believe it or not, but every person has an aura…even you.
May the force be with you
Some people have a negative one and others have a positive one. Your aura is basically the energy that you project from your inside to the world around you. Your aura represents the way you feel and communicates your feelings to others.
If you think that I am just talking some weird bullshit you can make the following experiment:
Listen to some music, smile and chat with your best friend to get yourself in a happy state. Now go out and approach ten women.
After you have done that I want you to approach another ten girls while you think about how much your life sucks and that you are the unhappiest person in the world.
The differences of the results are directly related to your aura.
A man who knows how to be charismatic is able to control his emotions and thereby his aura. The first step is to become aware of your aura. This awareness allows you to adjust your thoughts and feelings whenever you have a bad day and to transform your negative aura into a positive one.
Overcome Insecurities
Do you think a man whose hands start to shiver and whose voice suddenly crashes whenever he talks to a woman appears charismatic?
No chance!
The process of learning how to be charismatic requires that you face your inner demons and that you overcome your insecurities.
This aspect is closely related to your aura. You simply can’t have a positive and inviting aura if you are constantly worrying about what other people or the girl you are just talking to think of you.
It is hard to appear charismatic when you believe less in yourself than a dayfly believes in surviving the night.
Step out of your comfort zone and face your inner demons. A guy who is able to tame his inner demons instinctively knows how to be charismatic and how to project his charisma to the women around him.
Become Present in the Moment
Do you remember how I said at the beginning of this article that a man who knows how to be charismatic has the power to act instead of staying reactive to external influences?
An action always occurs in the present.
You might sometimes think about a past action and you probably plan for your future actions but the process of taking action can only take place in the here and now.
Because the ability of acting instead of reacting is such an important skill of charismatic men, you have to learn to stay in the moment if you want to learn how to be charismatic. In order to project your charisma to other people you have to be present. Otherwise, you can’t concentrate on interacting, communicating and inspiring them.
Learning to be present in the moment sounds so easy but the truth is that it can be quite a demanding challenge. There is a multimillion dollar industry that teaches people all around the world the concept of awareness that shall eventually help them to stay present in the moment. Some of it is good and some of it is nothing but a marketing lie.
The only method that I personally recommend to develop the ability to stay present in the moment is meditation.
No matter if you meditate with hypnosis, with trances, with music or without any external help, I guarantee you that regular meditation practice will help you to become present in the moment.
Change your Beliefs
You can do as much as you want on an external level but if your belief system is messed up, learning how to be charismatic will become an impossible endeavor.
If you think that women are evil, that all the other people around you are boring and that you don’t have enough value to attract beautiful women into your life, you can’t expect that women perceive you as a charismatic guy.
If your goal is to be a man who is powerful and who is able to inspire others you have to be cocksure of yourself. In order to be cocksure of yourself you need to have strong beliefs about yourself.
A man who isn’t convinced that he has the ability to inspire people and the women he meets will never reach the highest level of charisma. In case you are a very negative person and you have certain beliefs that hold you back on your way of learning how to be charismatic you should start to change those beliefs step by step.
Do you think women are evil? Start to interact with women, find at least one female friend and discover that women aren’t as bad as you thought they are. The more you change your attitude towards women, the more positive women will respond to you.
Do you think all people around you are boring? Then make some changes in your social circle. Get rid of the boring people and replace them with interesting and exciting people. This process will change your beliefs about your fellow human beings.
Do you think you don’t have enough value to attract beautiful women into your life? You have to understand that every human being has the same value.
The hot blond girl in the mini skirt has the same value as you.
Getting rid of negative beliefs and replacing them with positive beliefs will teach you how to be charismatic by leading you through a process of positive change.
Have you ever wondered how it would be to be charismatic, fearless AND a powerful seducer?
Discover how YOU can become this man…
Summed Up Wisdom
In order to act in a way that inspires others you have to understand the differences between charismatic men and guys who don’t have this ability. Those differences can be manifested externally and internally. One of those differences is that men who know how to be charismatic are acting instead of just reacting to external circumstances.
Developing an exciting and interesting lifestyle is just as important as the ability to project your charisma through your body. Moreover, men who have this power of inspiring others tend to have a certain level of intelligence.
In order to develop your internal charisma you first have to develop your personality in a way that is charismatic to other people. Becoming aware of your aura and adjusting it if necessary allows you to project the right energy to the world.
While you have to overcome your insecurities in order to learn how to be charismatic you also have to learn how to be present in the moment. In a last step you have to look at your belief system and replace your negative beliefs with positive ones. Your new belief system will build the foundation for your newly developed charisma.
Hey Thiago,
glad I could help.
Wow, very complete post. I think presence is one of the most important about charismatic people. This help me a lot.
Ho yeah, one time a girl said “i have a boyfriend” with a direct eye contract, sparkling eyes and an open mouth smile, she was interested in me of course !
Stop running Forest. You can tell if a women is interested in you or being polite in 3 seconds. Interested is shown by sustained direct eye contract, sparkling eyes and an open mouth smile. Non-interest is less than 2 seconds of eye contact and a closed mouth smile. Read the face and body language. If you find her attractive stop and talk to her. If you don’t try you have zero chance of starting a relationship with her. A woman would have to be super aggressive to go beyond the smile on her own. You have to take the next step.
stop thinking that everytime a woman say hi with a smile she is flurting…she is simply nice and well educated…if each time that a woman said hi to me with a smile i had banging her…
Thanks a lot for your motivating comment. I am sure that your words will inspire a few young readers to finally take action!
In case you think this is a bunch of crap read my following story. I am 55 years old, 390 lbs, and bald. I am also married for 31 years. So I am a perfect example of a fat old American. Last year, my two daughters, my wife and I went to Orange Beach, Alabama. This is one of the best beaches in the USA. We are on the beach. My wife and I are relaxing on a beach chair and the daughters are down by the water. I am a little bored so I decide to walk to the water. On my way I notice a young lady probably between 16 and 18 years old. Damn hard to tell these days how old they are. She is an exceedingly fine looking blonde in the typical southern belle image. I would rank her a 9 plus. Anyway she is walking down the beach and as I am walking our paths cross. I look at her and she gives me a huge smile and says hi. Now I have my wife at my back and my two young adult daughters in front of me. I want to strike up a conversation but I risk the berating of my life so I continue on to the water. But of course I check out her very fine ass as she walks away. My point is I am not even close to a young stud but here is this very fine lady flirting with me. If I can get the interest of fine lady so can you.