Do you want to know how to be a happy single man?
Let me guess:
You are not alone.
Most single men don’t like their situation. I can’t tell you how many emails I got from guys who told me that they can’t take it anymore. It’s sad. And the fact that we live in a society that judges you doesn’t help.
Your mom asks you, your grandma asks you, and if you’re in my age (I’m 28), even your friends ask you. The result: Thousands of men who believe that not having a girlfriend is worse than having final stage cancer. This is sick…and they are wrong.
You can be a happy single man and I’ll show you how to go from survival to blissfully happy.
But first, I have a confession to make…
How to Be Happy Being a Single Man
I have to confess something.
What I haven’t told you yet is that this article is self-therapy. Of course, my goal is to help you to live an incredible single life. That’s what I want. But I can’t deny that this article has a selfish purpose.
I’m single again.
Yes, I’m serious and no, I’m not suicidal.
Things don’t always work out. That’s life. I hope you respect that I want to keep private things private. All I can say is that I value and respect my ex-girlfriend more than anyone else. She’s an amazing woman and I’m forever grateful for the time we spent as a couple.
No bad blood…
It’s on me to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.
I don’t want to be a selfish asshole, but I hope that the following tips will help you as much as they will help me. We are sitting in the same boat.
Here’s what I’ll do from now on…
How to Survive as a Single Man
The first step is pure survival.
Here’s the truth about men and breakups:
There are countless studies that prove these facts.
I mean, just think about it. A woman can talk to her friends. Men usually don’t talk about their emotions. A woman can hit the club, smile, and get laid. As a man, you have to learn how to pick up girls if you want to find a new partner…or live an amazing single life.
Thank God you found this article…
1. Realize that You Don’t Need a Relationship
I get this type of email all the time:
“Sebastian, my name is X, I’m from Y and I absolutely need a girlfriend. Please help me!”
I’m always happy to help and here’s my firs advice:
The first step in learning how to be a happy single man is to realize that you don’t need a girlfriend. Seriously, you don’t. It’s okay to want a girlfriend. That’s why I dedicated a whole chapter in my book Rise of the Phoenix to getting and keeping a girlfriend.
You need something else…
2. Accept the Challenge to Master Yourself
This is your chance.
You can use the time you have to develop. Become better than the guy your ex-girlfriends knew. You are a man on a mission and your mission is to heal, grow, and improve. Don’t waste this huge opportunity with whining and complaining.
Here’s why so many guys desperately want a girlfriend:
They are afraid of being alone. But no, they are not afraid of loneliness. They are scared to death of being with themselves. The desire to get into a relationship can be the desire to run away from yourself, your demons, and your limitations.
Love from others distracts you from a lack of self-love.
Think about that.
3. Remind Yourself of the Cons of Your Past Relationship
Nothing is as it seems.
You can’t learn how to be happy being a single man when you have a distorted reality. The following advice is primarily for guys who had at least one relationship. But even if you’re alone all your life…remember this truth.
“What the fuck is distorted reality?”
Let’s take my grandfather as an example:
He loved to say “back in the old days everything was better”. What’s interesting is that my grandfather ignored the fact that he had to fight at Stalingrad, had nothing to eat, and spent seven years as a war prisoner in Russia.
There’s scientific evidence that we feel present emotions stronger than past emotions and that this leads to a distorted reality.
Here’s what this means for you as a single man:
Here’s what you need to do:
Write down what really happened and open your eye to reality.
How to Live as a Single Man
Now you have what it takes to survive.
But you’re still not happy.
You want to feel happy as a single man but you’re not quite there yet. That’s why you need to take action.
It’s time to stop the negativity and to start living…
4. Learn to Be Independent
Wake up to your reality:
The bad news is that you have to relearn how to use a washing machine. The good news is that learning how to use the washing machine is a huge opportunity. Yes, you don’t stink like a dead fish anymore. But that’s not what I mean.
You can finally learn to be independent.
You are on your own and that’s nothing to be scared of. It’s something to embrace. You now have the chance to live more independently than 99% of your married friends.
They can’t live alone. You can live wherever you want.
5. Spend time with Yourself
Let’s face it:
A lot of men don’t really like themselves.
I was no exception. You already know that…at least if you’ve read my story on my about page or if you regularly listen to my podcast. I hated myself, my baby face and my scars. There was a time when I looking into the mirror and saw a monster.
Over the years I learned a valuable lesson:
It’s impossible to grow as a man without spending time with yourself.
And no, you don’t have to meditate and sing mantras:
Stop avoiding yourself. It leads to nothing.
6. Enjoy Life without Explanations
No more excuses!
These are questions you don’t hear as a single man. You don’t have to explain yourself anymore. And you don’t have to make up excuses for everything.
It all comes down to one fundamental truth:
Singles are not responsible for another person’s happiness.
I still remember the words of a divorced friend:
“It’s stressful to be in a relationship. It’s even more stressful if you’re married. You are always responsible for her happiness. You are in a good mood and she comes home being grump. It affects you. No man can tell me that shit doesn’t affect him. And if you’re not careful it destroys you.”
Embrace your freedom.
How to Be Content Being a Single Man
You’ve reached the next level.
You know how to live as a single man. Now it’s time to work on becoming content with the fact that you walk through life as a lone wolf. It’s about more than being okay with it. It’s about slowly falling in love with the loneliness.
Did I say loneliness?
You don’t have to be alone one single day…
7. Nurture Your Other Relationships
What if I told you that singles are less lonely than couples?
Here’s the truth about singles and loneliness:
We all have this one friend who only calls us after a breakup. It’s always the same. He’s single and you hang out every week. Then you don’t hear from him for months. Suddenly, he rings you up…and that’s very dangerous.
It’s dangerous because he hasn’t done what you will do from now on.
Nurture your relationships with your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors.
It’s worth it.
8. Spend Your Money on Yourself
You have so much money to spend.
It’s no secret that married people spend more and have more debt. My experience tells me that this is also true for couples who are not married. I mean, Jesus Chris…I bought so much stuff I would have never bought if I had not been in a relationship.
Sorry for the shameless plug but goddammit, it’s true. You can spend your money on yourself, your personal development, and your skills.
This is a huge opportunity.
9. Work on Yourself By Working Out
Maybe this will help you:
It’s actually unhealthy to be in a relationship. Okay, you eat a little bit healthier, but you don’t exercise as much. And you’re fatter.
What if you’re single and you still don’t hit the gym?
It’s time to change that and here’s why:
You don’t want to live a boring single life. You want to seduce hot girls. That’s great, but you need the discipline to approach them. You need to feel comfortable to go on dates. And don’t underestimate the ability to be thankful for small progress.
Hitting the gym teaches you these lessons.
How to Be Good at Being a Single Man
Let me know in the comments below whether or not you want this:
That’s how you enjoy life!
In order to get there, you need to be good at being single. You can’t reap the reward without putting in the work. That’s just how it is.
So let’s get to work…
10. Go Out and Approach Women
You’re not afraid of living life as a single.
Here’s what you’re really afraid of:
You can’t be a happy single man without women in your life. That’s what all these men going their own way don’t understand. It sounds nice in theory but let’s look at the facts.
Lack of touch and affection can lead to depression, sickness, and suicide.
Heck, there have been studies (very cruel studies) in the past that showed that babies die when they don’t experience affection through touch. You can deny it as much as you want…you are biologically programmed to need the loving and sexual touch of women.
Here’s the truth:
Single men are only unhappy when they don’t have access to women.
Read my articles, read my book and go out and approach women. That’s the solution.
11. Do The Things You Always Wanted to Do
Here’s how to enjoy being a single man:
I’m forever thankful for the time I spent with my ex-girlfriend. She’s an amazing human being. But I have to admit that there are things I couldn’t do. Nobody can deny that you have more freedom when you are free.
Enjoy your freedom and do whatever you want.
You could book a flight to Brazil today and seduce a hot bikini model at the beach tomorrow.
Everything is possible.
12. Be Thankful for the Choice You Have
How does it feel to have the choice?
It feels fucking amazing!
Caucasian, Asian, black…you have the choice. Of course, you can only choose if you have the necessary seduction skills. But that’s why you’re here and that’s why I’ve written my book Rise of the Phoenix for you.
It’s a journey that leads to abundance…
How to Stay Single, Be Happy and Not Feel Lonely
Do you want a relationship or stay single?
Now you can choose.
You have the power to live a single life that’s more amazing than you could have ever imagined…
13. Make Picking up Girls a Habit
You want to be a single man and happy, right?
Then make picking up girls a habit.
Remember what I said: Single men are only unhappy when they don’t have access to women. This is so true and extremely important. You have to go out and pick up girls and no, not just once a month. Be consistent.
Consistent effort leads to the results you want.
That’s how you master the art of seduction and the art of being a happy single.
14. Connect with Great Guys and Hot Girls
Here’s one of the best tips I can give you:
Sign up on meetup.com. And no, I don’t receive any compensation whatsoever for recommending this site. It’s totally free. Make a profile and voila…you can choose among dozens of meetups in your city.
This is the best site on earth for single men.
Connect with people who have the same interests and your live will become interesting.
15. Become a Global Seducer
You came here because you were looking for advice on how to be a single man and happy.
Now I invite you to continue your journey as a happy single...
Summed Up Wisdom
I’m on my own again. Once again I’m the lone wolf who has the freedom to travel the world and to seduce beautiful women. It’s a weird feeling. That’s why I decided to write this article about how to be a happy single man.
It’s time to embrace your independence and to spend your money on yourself. Try to become a better person and to grow as a man and as a human being. Don’t just sit at home. Go out, hit the gym, and talk to strangers on meetups.
You have the freedom and the choice to go wherever you want to go and to seduce whoever you want to seduce. Other men would kill to have what you have.
Sebastian Harris says
it’s easier for women when they’re in their 20s but it’s more difficult for them once they hit 30.
when you said that women don’t have trouble finding a new partner compared to men do, it feels that primarily applies to younger women, women in their teens and 20s mainly
Sebastian Harris says
I almost deleted this sentence because it sounds too woo woo. But yep, it’s true.
Ryan N. says
Really interesting article, man. Very nice.
“Love from others distracts you from self-love.”
I hadn’t exactly thought of it like that, but I think you’re right. Really well-said.
Sebastian Harris says
Thanks a lot for your feedback!
There’s this sister of my business colleague, and she’s seems to be genuinely alive in a relationship with someone she accepts as her partner.
So, no doubt that I felt stronger emotions of remembering the good times with my previous ex, providing I wanted to experience those good old days with someone else new, and right there and then, I caught myself before getting too deep in my attachments with a distorted reality.
So, realising that girls talk to other guys, and with your regular posts reinforcing that I’m slowly becoming a global seducer, I took off those rose coloured glasses, and saw what I really didn’t have to accept what it should be like if I were not to be single; sad to being alone, drowning in loneliness, listening to music promoting youthful (& destructive) relationships, etc
In a sense, I accepted for what it really is: being single with a mega chance to EXPLORE my options as a kid, currently busying with a business proposal that will soon land me to Egypt. Gladly, I’ll use the time to see the pyramids when I will be there.
Trust me. What you wrote is definitely not selfish; you’re a go-giver and I trust you that you’re really going to be where it has not been to by others. I’m still under the guidance of your applied knowledge, and damn, what a premium experience it is.
Great article. Someone will really find this as helpful as it did for me. Otherwise, I know I’m not alone and you’ve proved that I’m NOT one of my friends who needed to be slowed down by a relationship that hadn’t been exactly healthy for them. Health consciousness is a huge vitality for two healthy individuals, for a healthy relationship.
Thanks! Don’t stop at it.