Do you want to know how to attract incredibly beautiful women into your life and into your bed?
That’s why I pray to the gods (that I don’t believe in) that Mother Google will rank this article in the top ten.
“Please Mother Google; give me the chance to debunk all the myths that surround this topic and to help as many men as possible to attract the women of their dreams…amen!”
While I did my scientifically accurate research on this topic that is only biased with my experience from attracting incredibly beautiful and intelligent women, I already found a lot of answers.
So why the hell should I write another article about a topic that has already been written about by more self-proclaimed alpha playboys than you can imagine?
Well, the answers that I found have the power to kill the last ray of hope of all desperate male virgins and notoriously masturbating fellas on this planet. I have read everything from pretending to be the coolest motherfucker on earth to bringing her flowers on the first date and fulfilling her every wish.
The problem with this “advice” is that it is quite harmful for your development towards a successful seducer who hunts women all around the globe. The more guys believe that they just have to pretend to be a super cool alpha dude or that they have to treat her like a spoilt little princess, the more sexually frustrated guys might be pushed over the edge one day.
The people in Santa Barbara know that this can have severe consequences.
Instead of pretending to be a millionaire who wipes his ass with dollar notes and buying every girl you are dating a brand new car because that’s her biggest wish, you should learn how to attract women without spending a dime.
This is the mark of a true gentleman. Otherwise, you’re also attracting the wrong girls. Surely, you wouldn’t want to bring home a lady that’s only after the new car you bought. Intimate feelings and looks can fade, but in the long run, you’ll want to attract a girl that you can have a sense of stability and companionship with.
This article has you covered.
How to Attract a Girl: Ignore Mainstream Advice
Let’s face the truth. The majority of the dating advice you read in the mainstream media is simply wrong. I mean, I have even read an article from an allegedly trusted source that claims that you should become her good friend in order to attract her at a later point of time.
There is actually no way that leads you faster in the deadly friend zone than becoming her good friend. If you really believe that telling your “good friend” that you are secretly in love with her for over two months while you hold a flower bouquet in your hands will get you laid, you have read too many mainstream blogs.
There are already millions of men who tried to succeed with this technique and guess where they ended up?
They ended up in the friend zone and in front of their laptops with their hand around their dick.
Unless hearing “you are such a nice guy, but…” is your ultimate goal, you should forget all the shitty advice by major magazines that get sponsored by brands that you apparently have to buy to attract women. Instead, start to focus on the aspects that will really get you results.
Be cautious if the lady you’re trying to attract has many male friends around. Chances are, many of these have made it to the friend zone. Don’t make yourself suffer the same plight.
Being Cool vs. Being Real
One advice on how to attract a girl that I read over and over again was that you should be the coolest guy in the room. You should basically be cooler than LL Cool J and have more swag than Lil Wayne while he raps about Nicki Minaj’s ass.
I don’t deny that it doesn’t hurt to look more like a cool guy than the biggest nerd on this planet, even though the hipster movement destroys even this thesis. However, it doesn’t help to pretend to be a cool guy when you are actually not cool at all.
Just be sure that you don’t make it look too obvious that you’re trying too hard. Women don’t like great pretenders, too. Create that perfect balance just so you don’t end up too boring and serious.
If you need that extra push or help to get conversations going, even through text messaging, there are many apps that can help you. One of these is Text Chemistry. Read through this Text Chemistry review and see whether or not it’s the perfect choice to give you that much-needed push.
If you are into World of Warcraft and you run around with glasses that are bigger than your head, you will feel completely ridiculous if you try to be cool (in the mainstream sense).
Not only will you feel completely ridiculous, also the girls, at least the ones with more than ten brain cells will instinctively know that this is not who you are. As soon as a girl detects that you pretend to be someone who you are not in order to impress her, she will lose all the respect that she had for you within milliseconds.
There is also another big disadvantage of pretending to be someone you are not that most guys neglect. Imagine that you are actually successful with the mask you put on and you attract a girl who was stupid enough to fall for your game.
Do you really want to end up dating such a chick? It’s a trap for the both of you by creating a circle of lies and pretensions in the relationship. So, what happens when she finds out who the real you is?
She just wants the person you pretend to be, not your real you.
You always have to fake it in her presence. She is probably the last person on earth with whom you want to waste your precious time. Instead of wasting your time with girls who don’t want your real self, you should be real and be the nerd, geek or whoever you are and attract girls into your life who love you for this. It’s in this level of honesty that you can find someone whom you know that’ll truly hits off well with you, rather than hit off with the version of you she’s led to believe she knows.
DHV’s vs. True Stories
Using DHV’s to impress women is one of the oldest principles of the seduction community and…
…it is also one of the dumbest.
In case you don’t have to recover from years of studying stupid pick up techniques (lucky you), I shortly explain what a DHV is. DHV stands for demonstrating higher value. This concept implicates that you have to tell interesting and exciting stories to the women you want to bang.
On the first sight there is nothing wrong with this concept. I do this all the time and I absolutely love to share my crazy experiences with women. The only problem is that a lot of guys use those DHV stories without actually having experienced them.
By doing this you might be able to attract a girl for the first few seconds, but as soon as she finds out (which she eventually will) that you are by far not as adventurous as you pretended to be, she will be gone.
No woman wants to be together with a liar.
How can a woman be drawn to a man who lied in her face?
However, she can and she will be attracted to a man who is adventurous and who has some amazing stories to tell that are the result of an amazing lifestyle. If you want to know how to attract a girl working on your lifestyle is definitely better than working on your imagination.
Making Her Happy vs Being Happy
Another advice that I read over and over again was that you should learn how to make a girl happy in order to learn how to attract a girl. As I continued my reading in the hope that this “making her happy gibberish” was related to satisfying her in the bedroom, I became very upset when I found out that it was again linked to fulfilling her every wish.
I wait for the day when every man on this planet realizes that showering a woman with presents has NOTHING to do with real attraction. You might please gold diggers with this behavior but even they are only pleased because they are attracted to money and NOT to you.
If you really want to make a girl happy you should stop giving her material presents and start to present her a guy who she will be attracted to.
What qualities does this guy have?
He is at peace with himself and regards his life as more as a never-ending punishment of the gods above.
By becoming a happy guy who is able to seduce her and to give her the best time of her life outside and inside of the bedroom, you will automatically make her happy.
Let’s have a look at how you will become that guy.
How to Attract a Girl: Attractive Qualities
Do you have the qualities to attract amazing women?
Nope, I don’t mean your looks. It doesn’t really matter if you look like a Hugo Boss model or the most average guy that has ever lived, as long as you have certain qualities that women are attracted to.
All I want you to think about is whether or not you are a guy that women want to be around.
Do you fold whenever you face the tiniest hurdle in your life?
Do you have less humor than the average German?
Do you have no clue where you want to go in life?
Do you always flush your values down the toilet as soon as you interact with a hot girl?
In case you answer at least one of those questions with “yes”, you should think about integrating some qualities in your life that make learning how to attract a girl a lot easier.
Strength (Not the Strength that You Mean)
A strong man is a man who attracts beautiful women. Period.
Be strong like an unbreakable rock and she will fall faster for you than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son fell for this crazy bitch with her wrecking ball.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys completely misinterpret the form of strength that women are craving for. I really hope that you are not another one of those guys who think that no girl will ever be interested in them if they can’t lift at least 100 kilos on the bench-press.
It is definitely not harmful to have a few muscles. I also love to go to the gym in order to build my body, but when it comes to the strength that women are craving for, emotional strength is way more important than physical strength.
If you are serious about learning how to attract a girl, you must be willing to work on your inner game in order to become emotionally stable. When women have the feeling that their world collapses they want to snuggle up to a man who holds them, not to one who gets a mental breakdown.
Laughing Lets the Juices Flow
If you want to learn how to attract a girl you should be able to lift the corners of your moth at least five millimeters. Be funny, be playful and don’t be so god damn serious. This is actually the only mainstream advice that I consider as correct. I, as a German, am of course the leading expert when it comes to humor.
No, we Germans are not all robots, even though a lot of girls emphasize that I am the funniest German they ever met. However, even though I love to joke around I NEVER act like a dancing monkey who tries to impress women with his humor.
Be careful, this is very important.
You should make jokes because YOU think that they are funny and because YOU want to entertain yourself. You should NOT make jokes because you desperately hope that entertaining her will motivate her to suck your dick.
Don’t Be Afraid to Lead
If you want to know how to attract a girl you have to ask yourself what kind of men women are instinctively drawn to. No, they are not attracted to the notorious nice guys, even if surveys in popular women’s magazines found that out.
Women are magically drawn to leaders, adventurers and men who are able and willing to make decisions for them and for the women in their life. That’s the true nature of female hypergamy. Yes, you heard right. Despite the fact that no feminist would ever admit it, women don’t want to make decisions.
The only reason why a woman takes over the leadership in a relationship is because her weak boyfriend forces her to do it.
Being able to make decisions and being willing to decide not only for you but also for her is an essential first step towards a life of never ending sexual pleasure.
While you probably don’t like bossy women who love to give commands, a feminine woman doesn’t want to waste her time with a coward who is unable to lead her. That’s the beauty of feminine and masculine polarity.
The Integrity of a Man
Do you have your own opinion? Yes? That’s great.
Do you have values? Yes? That’s even better.
Do you also represent your own opinion and live by your values as soon as a woman with big boobs sits next to you?
If most guys would be honest to themselves they would give the following answer:
“Whenever I see a pair of boobs I forget about my values and I also don’t care about my opinion anymore.”
That’s one of the biggest mistakes that approximately 90% of guys make. They think that telling a girl what she wants to hear and agreeing with everything she says is the fastest way into her pants.
The truth is that this road leads directly into the friend zone.
Sexual attraction can only arise through excitement and friction. A man who is too much of a pussy to adhere to his own values is anything but exciting.
How to Attract a Girl: The First Steps
Now that you know what you should avoid if you want to learn how to attract a girl and now that you know what kind of guy women want in their arms and vaginas, it is time to look at the exact steps you have to follow if you want to make her juices flow.
How would it feel to be able to turn every woman’s head from the moment you look her in the eyes for the first time?
I know from my own experience how amazing that feels. I also know that the first few seconds of an interaction with a woman are usually the most important ones.
It takes a woman not more than ten seconds to decide if you are a potential fuck buddy or a guy who gets a “thanks” when he likes her picture on Facebook.
Let’s make sure that she fantasies about licking your balls right after you looked her in the eyes.
Approaching Means Winning
Do you want to know how to attract a girl? Then approach her!
I am serious. The fact alone that you have the balls to actually walk up to her and to introduce yourself is already a turn on for women. A beautiful woman sees dozens of men every day who gaze after her and who stare at her ass like hungry wolves stare at an innocent fawn, but none of those wussies has the power to talk to her.
Don’t be so naive and think that women don’t know that you want to fuck them when you stare at them.
The truth is that women enjoy when men look at them in this way. Unfortunately, their instincts don’t allow them to respect the guys who walk past them without doing their job as a man.
When a woman meets a guy who has the balls to run up to her and to tell her that she has the most beautiful ass he has ever seen, her whole world starts to shine. She is happy that she finally meets a guy who doesn’t back down.
Have I just told you that you should tell a woman that she has the most beautiful ass you have ever seen?
Yep, you should do exactly that, but just when she really has the most beautiful ass you have ever seen. Express yourself and tell women what you really think. Forget about “who lies more, men or women?” and forget about asking for directions in the hope of getting her phone number. This is all bullshit and will never help you to get successful with women.
If you want to learn how to attract a girl you need balls of steel, relentless honesty and the will to express your feelings.
If a woman is beautiful, tell her that she is beautiful. If she has amazing breasts, tell her that she has amazing breasts. In case you have never tried to be that honest to women, you missed out on hundreds of opportunities to get laid.
How to Attract a Girl: Use Your Words
You know how to approach a girl, you know how important it is to be honest with her and you also know that it is your job to lead her through the seduction process, even if leading feminists would disagree with that. Now it is time to let your words speak.
The right words can be more powerful than anything else. Words have the power to hurt people, to bring them together and sometimes a few words have the power to change lives. When it comes to talking to women you don’t want to hurt them.
You want to change their lives forever by showing them that you are the man she desires.
If you ask yourself how to attract a girl you should also think about the words that have a magical effect on their emotional state. Because you want to improve her emotional state and trigger positive feelings in her that she directly relates to you, saying the wrong things will only lead to another night without sex.
Give Her Compliments
How to attract a girl by saying the right things?
Even though a lot of PUA’s out there swear that giving women compliments is the worst thing you can do, I made the experience (and still make it) that giving a woman an honest, genuine and bold compliment can work wonders.
You can say as much as you want that giving compliments is the same as putting her on a pedestal and you can even claim that compliments make women arrogant, but you can’t deny one thing…it freaking works.
Okay, there is a difference between telling a woman that she is beautiful while smiling at her in a confident way and telling a woman that she is beautiful while looking at her like a puppy that waits for a reward.
As long as you don’t look like a needy bitch that is ready to do a somersault when she finally rewards you with a smile, you are good to go.
Women love compliments and they love it even more when they come from a man who gives them because he wants to and not because he thinks he needs to.
Do You Have the Voice of a Seducer?
Telling a girl that she has the most beautiful smile that you have ever seen is great but if you say this while sounding like Mickey Mouse on crack, you can’t expect her to get wet.
You don’t need a voice like Darth Vader to attract women but you do need a voice that sounds calm, confident and a little bit deeper than the Chipmunks. Men who are too insecure to talk to women speak in a nervous and hectic way. You don’t.
Real seducers know who they are. They are not afraid to express their feelings in a calm and sincere way.
In case you got the shit end of the stick and you were born with an extremely high voice, you should consider working on your voice. If you are serious about learning how to attract a girl this should be no hurdle for you.
Sorry, not everybody sounds like Frank Sinatra but with determination and regular practice you can come pretty close to this. Sing “New York, New York” to a woman and her pussy will melt in your hands.
Are you determined to practice?
Then the following video can help you:
How to Attract a Girl: Use Your Body
Attraction between men and women is always based on sexual energy and sexual connection. You can either express your sexual desires verbally or non-verbally. Let us take a look at expressing your sexuality on a non-verbal level.
If you want to learn how to attract women you have to use your body as a weapon. The two smallest but deadliest weapons that you have control over are right above your nose.
Seduce Her with Your Eyes
Your eyes are your most important weapons. Those little balls are even more important than your balls a few stores down. A woman’s eyes are the window to her soul.
By looking a woman deep into her eyes you look straight into her soul, or at least you give her the feeling that you do that. Nothing else matters. As long as she has the feeling that you see her deepest desires by looking her into the eyes, she will feel the urge to live out those desires with you.
The next time you look a girl into the eyes I want you to think about how you fuck her in every position.
You will be amazed with which intensity women feel your thoughts when you use their eyes as a medium. Your thoughts will trigger the desire in her to put those thoughts into practice.
Your Unbreakable Confidence
I am not a big fan of the fake it till you make it theory but I can’t deny the fact that the correct body language will make you appear a lot more confident than an unfavorable body language. When you want to know how to attract a girl you have to remember that women are drawn to confident man.
The number one thing you want to display with your body language is confidence.
The most important thing when you want to appear unbreakable confident is to have a straight posture and to leave some space between your legs. You should stand like a tree that can’t be blown away by a hurricane.
However, your body consists of more than your hands. Use your arms to add slow but determined gestures in your conversations and use your face to show a relaxed and inviting mimic whenever you talk to a woman.
Touched For the Very First Time
Of course you can do more with your body than standing like a tree and waving your hands around. You can use your body to make women happy.
Putting your penis inside her is the last step, but before you can do that you need her permission to do so.
The fastest way to get this permission is by making her horny as hell. Women are drawn to guys who are sexually confident and who show this confidence in a direct way. Every time you touch a woman, even if you do it in very subtle way, a thrill of excitement will run through her veins.
At first you touch her arm, her hand and her back. Eventually, you end up holding her ass while you are kissing her passionately. Each of those individual steps builds up more and more sexual tension and therefore more attraction.
You can find out more about touching and sexual escalation in Rise of the Phoenix.
The best tip here is for you to be as gentle and sensual as possible. Don’t be like a rowdy bear who’s just overly excited for the home run. Make her enjoy the journey. That way, she’ll be coming back for more.
Summed Up Wisdom
If you want to know how to attract a girl you should forget everything you have ever learned about attracting women. Being real is way more important than being cool, DHV’s are nothing but a senseless remnant of old PUA days and trying to make her happy is actually harmful if you are not a happy person. When you wish to feed a certain mood on another person, you must also feel the same mood coming from you. Else, it’s easy to feel exhausted and frustrated when all you’ve been doing is trying too hard to pretend.
If you ask yourself how to attract a girl you should also ask yourself what qualities women like in men. They like men who are emotionally strong, who have a good sense of humor, who are willing to make decisions and who adhere to their own values.
The best way to make women go crazy for you in the first steps of an interaction is by approaching them, by expressing your feelings authentically and by leading them through the different faces of the seduction.
You can then learn how to attract a girl by using your words and your body. Giving her compliments and talking to her in a calm and confident way is a sure way to lead her into your bedroom. She will feel comfortable and safe, which will allow her to follow you. If you spice things up by looking deep into her eyes, by displaying a confident body language and by touching and eventually sexually escalating on her, she will be yours. More importantly, remember that you’re not just attracting women for sex. You should do so with a hint of seriousness that, hopefully, one of these women is going to be with you for the rest of your life.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks a lot. I really appreciate it and I’m happy to hear that you’re life is improving.
Thanks a lot.
Finally my life is changing.I have improved a lot with girls.
About 1 years back i was so scared of talking with girls but when i started reading your article [not just once but many times, and every time i found something new about girls] everything changed.
Now i easily approach girls without any fear.Well i m not perfect,i still have many things to learn about them.
I must say you are only one of your kind.I have read many articles from different sites but your articles are the best.
Thanks for changing my life.
YOU ARE THE BEST.
Sebastian Harris says
Women feel where you are coming from. They can sense your beliefs about women, your fear, your personality. They are way better at this than men.
“It takes a woman not more than ten seconds to decide if you are a potential fuck buddy or a guy who gets a “thanks” when he likes her picture on Facebook.”
this is very interesting to me. i’ve heard this from other places/people, too. how is it that women know so quickly whether or not they would be interested in a guy romantically? i would love if you could elaborate Sebastian.
Sebastian Harris says
the slap in the face only happens in Hollywood movies. I’ve never been slapped in the face and I gave a lot of girls very direct compliments.
Interesting stuff…I’m a little concerned about the honesty bit though: won’t some girls slap you in the face immediately if you compliment her body? Or is this a counterintuitive thing?
Sebastian Harris says
shoot me an email and let me know the reasons. I love to help.
John Doe says
Easier said than done, I have yet to put these into practice
and have my doubts. for various reasons which I cannot say
Sebastian Harris says
it’s good to hear that you have achieved better results.
Many good tips, it is closely linked to limiting beliefs that many men have towards beautiful women, I’ve been to apply these concepts in my life and have changed the way of how to think and have achieved better results with attractive women.