Are you sure?
Do you really want to know how to approach a woman at the gym?
I mean, we both know that’s creepy as hell. You just have to read any of the mainstream magazines to know that this is a no-go. It’s a wonder that the feminist inquisition hasn’t forbidden that men and women work out in the same room.
But maybe…yeah, maybe you’re asking yourself the same question as this guy:
Yes, my friend. All these things are possible. I’ve successful approached women at the gym and you can do the same. No matter how many times you’ve tried and failed…there is a way. There is a system that you can replicate.
I will share this system with you today.
But first, let me show you why knowing what NOT to do is even more important than knowing what to do…
What’s the Best Way to Approach a Girl at the Gym?
“Should I really share this story?”
I asked myself over and over again.
I didn’t want to. Believe me. But then I thought: Reading about how I failed miserably might prevent you from making the same mistakes I made. Yes, I admit it. There was a time when I didn’t know how to approach girls at the gym.
I made every mistake you can possibly make.
Here’s what happened:
I was at the gym in my small German hometown. Half of the guys knew me. None of the girls liked me. That was back in the days when I had zero seduction skills. I was a loser…and I wanted to pick up the hottest girl in the gym.
I could swear that time froze when she walked past me.
My heart was pounding. My chest felt like a balloon right before the explosion. First, I tried to get her attention by making loud noises. I wanted her to see how hard my workout was. That didn’t work.
I had to change my strategy.
She was right next to me. I tried to look cool while I was dying inside. “Here’s how you do it right”. I thought my personal trainer approach would impress her. She rolled her eyes. The guy next to me started laughing.
I ran to the locker room. It was so embarrassing.
Can you tell me what I did wrong?
Let me know in the comments below. Now I’ll show you how to do it right…
1. Take a Shower BEFORE Hitting the Gym
I messed up before I left my apartment.
To my defense:
It wasn’t my plan to approach her. But you are here because you want to learn how to approach a girl at the gym. You have a goal in mind. And believe me, stinking like a fish and walking around like a fitness instructor from the 80s won’t cut it.
Here are three simple pre-workout rules:
Come on. Be honest. I know you’ve done it because I’ve done it hundreds of times. When it comes to washing clothes, I’m lazier than a Mexican village. I just don’t do it. As a result, I’m pretty ruthless when it comes to wearing the same stinky shirt I wore the day before.
I live in Bangkok. Clothes dry very fast here.
Yea, I know. I’m the perfect role model. But please, don’t be like me. Don’t stink like a dead otter. Approaching girls at the gym is so much easier when you don’t make her want to puke in your presence.
2. Don’t Use Noise to Get Her Attention
That’s one of the mistakes I made…one of many.
I was dumb enough to believe that grunting like a troll was the first step towards getting her attention. Don’t get me wrong. I got her attention, just not the kind of attention I wanted to get. She didn’t look so happy about my seduction attempt.
Here’s the truth about women in the gym:
Yes, she will look at you. But let’s face it. You would also look if a crazy woman screamed her lungs out in the middle of the street. You’d look, but you wouldn’t say to yourself “hell yeah, I want to bang this chick.”
Okay, maybe if she’s hot. But you get the point.
Here are the rules:
There are better ways to get her attention, but it’s not what I did…
3. Don’t Tell Her She’s Doing it Wrong
Don’t do it. Please don’t.
There’s only one exception. If she does any of THIS, you can help her:
Otherwise, keep your cakehole shut.
Being Mr. Know-It-All doesn’t impress her. And maybe you’re right. Maybe she could improve the effectiveness of her workout by following your advice. It doesn’t matter. Believe me, this is not how to approach women at the gym.
She’ll take it the wrong way and you go home empty-handed.
There’s just one way you could make it worse. Check her out like a guy who hasn’t seen female butt cheeks in five years. Then walk up to her and tell her with the most arrogant voice “you’re doing this exercise wrong.”
Hell no. There’s an alternative that’s far more effective…
4. Check Her Out Once But Not Constantly
We are both men.
So let’s be honest. Of course you will check her out. I mean, she’s wearing spandex for a reason. And no, it’s not because “they are so comfortable”, no matter how many times she says it. She loves the attention (more on that later).
But she doesn’t want you to make her uncomfortable.
Here are some signs that you take it too far:
Approaching a girl at the gym doesn’t have to be hard. Unfortunately, most guys make it hard. They let their horniness destroy their chances. We both know that testosterone levels are surging during and after a hard workout and that it makes you horny.
That’s why you stare at girls you wouldn’t even notice on the street.
You are in horny mode and there’s no way out. So be careful. One quick gaze is okay. Check her out and allow yourself to smile cheekily. That’s also okay. Just don’t stay glued to her butt cheeks.
5. Smiling is Better than the Hulk Expression
“What the heck is the Hulk Expression?” I hear you asking.
Let my Austrian friend Arnold Schwarzenegger explain it to you.
First, have a look at a picture that shows him working out, but not with the Hulk Expression. I don’t expect you to be as buff as he was in his best days, but that’s the expression that makes approaching women at the gym easy.
There’s nothing special about this picture, right? Well, our good old pal Arnie doesn’t always look that happy. Sometimes he gets hunted by Predators. Sometimes he has to manager annoying brats. That’s when he transforms into the Hulk.
Do you do the same?
I’ve seen it so many times and it always cracks me up. It’s sad that guys believe that looking like a serial killer with alpha syndrome is the best way to approach girls at the gym.
A smile is ten times better than the Hulk Expression.
6. Wait with the Approach until She’s Finished with Her Set
You smiled at her.
What do you do next?
Patience is next. Don’t approach her while she counts from one to twelve. Nobody likes to get interrupted while lifting weights. This rule applies to dudes with sweaty armpits and to girls with sweaty butt cheeks. Sorry for the image.
Wait until she’s finished with her set.
You can approach her between two sets. That’s fine. But wait until she puts the weights down and takes a deep breath. That’s your signal. Now you can walk up to her (without the Hulk Expression) and prepare yourself for the collision.
Oh wait. You might want to wait a little bit longer…
7. Wait with the Approach until She’s on Her Wait Out
I have bad news for you:
Learning how to approach a woman at the gym is about learning to be patient. It sucks. I know. But the less patience you have, the harder it is to pick up girls at the gym.
Yep, that’s right. I want you to wait until she finished her workout. Of course, you can also do what I shared under point 6. It can work. But I know from experience that AFTER the workout is the best time to approach a girl at the gym.
There is no better time.
Think about it:
Why is there less social judgement?
Well…if you approach her next to the bench press, she HAS TO talk to you. However, if you approach her on the way out, she can CHOOSE TO talk to you. Not that I want her to walk away from you. But it makes her feel more comfortable.
Think about it:
Would you rather date or marry a girl you’ve slept with?
The answer is simple because you’d choose the option that allows you to walk away at any time. You want to have the choice. She wants the same.
8. Approach Her When She’s Alone
You don’t want any witnesses.
Otherwise you’ll end up like me. And believe me. Getting laughed at after approaching a girl at the gym isn’t the greatest feeling in the world.
Here’s the golden rule:
Wait until she’s alone…or at least kind of alone.
Don’t approach her when she’s surrounded by three steroid-abusers and her hot stripper friend. She can’t give you her number…not in this situation. She wants it, but she’s afraid that the guys will call her a slut and that her friend doesn’t like you.
You have to wait until the coast it clear. It’s your only chance.
9. Play with the Approaching Girls at the Gym Stereotype
Attack is the best defense.
Address the elephant in the room. Don’t beat around the bush and try to be as non-creepy as possible. Come on. I know it, she knows it, and you know it too. Everyone has this stereotype in mind. Approaching women at the gym is creepy.
Only a few men use this stereotype to their advantage.
Here’s what you have to do:
Let me give you an example:
Let’s say you wait until she leaves the gym. You approach her right before she opens the door. You could give her a compliment. But you don’t. Instead, you smile and address the only concern she has.
You turn fear into a smile:
“Hey, don’t punch me. I know I deserve it because I approach you in these holy halls. Sorry that I break the number one gym rule, but I just had to say hi. What’s your name?”
Turn the elephant in the room into your friend.
10. Use Accomplishments Instead of Compliments
Don’t use compliments.
Yes, I said it. Rip me into pieces and drown me in the river. But I stick to it. Learning how to approach a woman at the gym is about learning to say “no” to compliments. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan. I even wrote an article with the best compliments.
They are perfect for 99% of situations. The gym is in the 1%.
Here’s why compliments don’t work in this environment:
It sucks. But it’s female logic.
Dress in the tightest yoga pants you can find because you want attention from men and then call them creeps when they stare at you and call you sexy. Only women can do that. It makes absolutely no sense.
Love it or hate it. You have to deal with it. Here’s how:
Here’s an example:
“I was impressed by the way you did your squats. I tried to do the same but I failed miserably. I guess I shouldn’t skip leg day so often.”
Be different and laugh about yourself. It works.
11. Make a Quick Sales Pitch
The best way to approach a girl at the gym is the shortest way.
I’m all for connecting with women. Ask her questions, get to know her, and establish a deep connection with her. I’m sure you’ve read it in one of my other articles. But again, the gym is in the 1%.
You don’t have a lot of time.
Make it quick. The gym is not the place for a long conversation. Let her know that you want to meet her outside of the holy halls and take her number.
Here’s an example:
“I don’t want to stop you from leaving. I’m sure you have to shower and relax. I just want to say that I’d love to get to know you. Let’s exchange numbers and stay in contact.”
Be faster than lightning.
12. Get Her Number and Don’t Wait for Her
Are you still here?
Good because this is the most terrible mistake you could possibly make. I’ve made it and I’ve seen other guys make it. Blame your ego or your testosterone related horniness. For some reason, a lot of guys assume that getting her number is an invitation to stick around.
Big surprise: It’s not.
Please don’t do THIS after you got her number:
Just get her number and get the fuck out there. Yes, she likes you and no, she doesn’t think of you as the gym creep. But this can change very fast. She knows that it’s not a coincidence that you’re leaving at the same time.
You’re already at the finish line. Don’t mess it up.
And don’t forget to check out my book for more information on how to approach girls outside of the gym.
Summed Up Wisdom
You want to know how to approach a woman at the gym. Then stop pretending to be her personal trainer and don’t even think about attracting her with screams, grunts and other sounds. And don’t stink like a dead fish.
Instead, stop looking at her like a serial killer on cocaine and smile. You’re not the Hulk. Wait until she’s alone. Then approach her. You can either wait until she leaves the gym or until she’s finished with her exercise.
But wait. You don’t want any witnesses. And you don’t want to approach her with “you’re so sexy”. She knows the effect of her yoga pants too well. Instead, pretend to be impressed by her workout. Then get her number and get the hell out of there.
Sebastian Harris says
i go to the gym like 5-6 times a week, so there are plenty of opportunities for me to try this. but i’ve never done an approach because i’ve always thought the gym was the bad place to talk to a girl.
all that being said, YOU are the expert, so i’ll take your advice and give it a shot. i just hope the girl doesn’t laugh at me lol haha.