Have you ever wondered how to approach a woman at a bar?
I’m sure you have.
Heck, I know you have because you’ve been to so many. And admit it. Some of them were packed with beautiful women. Each and every time you went, you had your eyes on the prize but the words didn’t come out.
Did you do it?
We both know the answer. I mean, that’s why you are here. You are sick and tired of walking into a bar, spotting a cute girl, and not being able to get her attention and to not get her home.
I know how this feels. I know it too well.
Whenever my friends asked me to join them on their “pub parties” (that’s how we called them), I made up some stupid excuse. This was my only way out. I missed out on so many unforgettable nights and opportunities because of these stupid excuses.
If I had only known…
Today I know all these things and in just a few minutes you’ll know them too…
3 Simple Truths about Approaching Girls at a Bar
I still remember my first approach in a bar.
It was a crowded place in a Southern German city. Back in those days it was allowed to smoke inside. I don’t know about your country, but in Germany it’s forbidden nowadays. Anyway, I was ordering a drink when I saw this girl.
She smiled at me and I smiled back. Then I messed up.
My first try was a huge failure. My second try was even worse. She just turned her head away and my friends laughed at me. But I didn’t give up. I tried it again and again, until I discovered three simple truths that can make all the difference.
Here’s what I learned after dozens of failed attempts to approach girls at the bar…
1. Acting Cool and Being Confident are Not the Same
How do women act in a bar?
They act like cute little narcissists. That’s why most men assume that these women are unapproachable…and terrible human beings. Well, that’s not true. It’s not their fault.
They are the product of the environment.
It’s the same with women in clubs. If you want to learn how to approach a girl at a bar, you have to look past the façade. Let her act cool and arrogant. It doesn’t mean anything. Don’t assume that she’s overly confident. She might be shy, insecure, and nervous like a little schoolgirl.
You can get the girl out of the bar, but you can’t get the bar out of the girl. Don’t get discouraged by that.
2. She’s Alone at the Bar for a Reason
A woman is alone in a bar.
Mhhh…what could possibly be the reason?
No woman on earth thinks to herself “oh well, I hate my couch and my TV. I think I spend the night at the bar because it’s so comfortable between all these drunk bastards.” Yeah, that makes sense. She loves this place so much.
She’s here for a reason and you know it.
I hope I don’t offend anyone (as if I care) when I say that women go to bars because they want to get laid. Okay, if she has fun with her group of woo girls (more on that later), she wants to get drunk…and maybe go home with a guy.
But if she’s alone at the bar, she wants something to happen.
“But it’s so easy for women to get laid. Why does she reject the other guys?” I hear you asking.
Well, most men don’t have what it takes...
3. There’s also a Reason Why She’s Still Here
All the other men do it wrong.
You don’t believe me?
Then go to a bar and have a look at how the guys approach girls. Hint: It’s cringe worthy. I dare you. Go out today. After you’ve read this article, you know how to do it right.
Put my advice into practice AND observe the competition.
Here are some of the things you’ll see:
Seldom do you see someone who knows what he does.
That’s why it’s so important to learn how to approach women at bars. It’s an environment with at least two men for one woman. But if more than 90% of men don’t have the seduction skills you have, you’ll win.
It’s time to learn how to win big time by avoiding the most crucial mistakes…
How to NOT Approach a Girl at a Bar
What are these crucial mistakes?
Oh man, where should I even start? There are so many things men do wrong when it comes to approaching women at a bar. In fact, there are so many things other online magazines teach men that are wrong.
That makes me so angry.
Most men don’t make these mistakes because they don’t know any better. No, they learn these mistakes from so-called trusted sources. That’s why I ask you to be open-minded. You might have to unlearn what you’ve learned.
Especially when it comes to money…
1. Don’t Use the I’m Rich Bitch Approach
I spend most of my time in Thailand and every expat knows this one saying:
No money, no honey.
That might be true for gogo-bars in Pattaya, but I’m sure you’re not here because you want to know how to pick up hookers disguised as innocent dancers. You want to know how to approach a woman at a (real) bar.
Forget about no money, no honey and…
In other words, don’t use the “I’m rich, bitch approach”.
Yes, she came for a reason, but she wants to go home with a confident man who knows what he’s worth. She doesn’t want to waste her precious time with a man who thinks his money is worth more than his personality.
Please don’t try to buy her.
2. Don’t Approach Woo Girls While They Woo
What are woo girls?
Glad you ask…
Have you watched this educational video that’s based on scientific research principles?
Awesome, now you know what woo girls are. You see them in every bar. In fact, this species is even more prominent in clubs, but let’s stick to the bar environment. They want to have a good time and to woo as loud as they can.
Here’s the golden rule:
Don’t interrupt them during a woo session.
But don’t worry. One woo session takes approximately two seconds. One woo two. Finished. Now you can approach her. Most men make the mistake and approach woo girls in the middle of one of their special moments.
That’s a bad idea and here’s why:
Interrupting a woo girl while she screams her lungs out is like interrupting a professional basketball player during a jump shot. Wait with your approach until she shuts up. You can approach between two woos. That’s okay.
Timing is everything.
3. Don’t Use the You’re so Hot Approach
A lot of guys who want to know how to approach a girl at a bar have tried and failed.
Are you one of them?
I don’t know you (feel free to say “hi” in the comments below), but I’m pretty sure you’ve tried it before. Maybe you even tried it with a compliment.
“You are so hot” said the guy who can’t get laid in a bar.
Don’t get me wrong. Compliments are great. They work in most environments…just not here. Yes, she’s hot and she loves to hear it. But you’re not in a mall. In the mall you’re the only one who has the balls to walk up to her.
In places where liquor and beer are served, you’re not the only one.
Alcohol works like liquid courage. Suddenly, shy Stevie turns into bold Stephen. Unfortunately, his creativity doesn’t get a boost, which results in “you’re so hot” compliments.
After you’ve read this article you’ll be more creative than little Stevie.
4. Don’t Use the Cheesy Pickup Line Approach
Speaking of liquid courage…
Bars tend to bring out the worst in men. I’m serious. The shit I’ve heard men say to women in this environment tops everything. No sane man would say these things to a woman on the street or anywhere else.
It must be the alcohol or the environment. I don’t know.
All I know is that cheesy pickup lines like THESE don’t work:
Do yourself a favor and don’t use a cheesy pickup line. Instead, learn how to REALLY approach women at a bar…
How to Approach a Girl at a Bar
What do you do? What do you say? When do you run?
Calm down. It’s not that difficult.
And you don’t have to run unless you use the cheesy pickup lines I shared above. Unfortunately, most articles that have been written on how to approach a girl at a bar contain the same advice.
Great…every man with an IQ over 100 knows that. The problem is that it doesn’t answer the question. And I know you have above average intelligence. You want concrete tips. You want actionable advice.
That’s why I decided to share seven types of bar approaches I used with great success.
Choose whichever one you want…
1. Use the Buy Me a Drink Approach
You can win big time by switching words.
Here’s how most men approach girls at bars:
“Can I buy YOU a drink?”
Here’s how Global Seducers approach girls at the same venue:
“Can YOU buy ME a drink?”
This small change makes all the difference. She knows that you are not serious. And no, she won’t buy you a drink (most likely). But that’s not the point. The point is that you change the dynamic.
Now you are in charge.
What if she says “no”?
Oh, she will say no. There’s a 1% chance that she’ll actually buy you a drink. It happened to me once and I used this approach dozens of times. Usually, the answer is laughter.
Here’s what you say next:
“Too bad, I thought you’re a generous girl. Then you have to make it up to me by telling me your name.”
2. Use the Surprise Drink Approach
Most guys ask a girl to buy her a drink.
But why is this approach so bad?
Asking is always weaker than doing!
However, there is a way to buy a girl a drink WITHOUT being weak and needy. I call it the “surprise drink” approach. The best thing about this approach is that one drink is enough to approach dozens of girls. Let me show you how it works.
You surprise her with a surprise drink.
You go to the bar, buy the same drink twice. One drink is for you and the other one for your future one-night stand. Now you just have to find the lucky woman. Take your two drinks and walk around until you see a target.
Here’s what you can say to her:
“Excuse me, you seem like a cool girl and I know that we’re meant for each other. That’s why I bought you my favorite drink. Why don’t we enjoy it together?”
What if she laughs and invites you to sit next to her?
Awesome! Sit down, give her the drink, and introduce yourself.
What if she rejects you?
No worries! Grab your two drinks and try it with the next girl.
One drink is enough to approach five girls and to score one home run.
3. Use the You Need a Glass of Water Approach
I love this one.
It’s another funny way to approach a girl at a bar. You just need a glass of water and you’re ready to go. But be warned. If a girl is really drunk, she might take it as an offense. Only do this with girls who are either sober or tipsy.
Here’s how it works:
You go to the bar and you buy yourself a drink…and a glass of water. Yes, I’m serious. Now you look out for girls who are sitting at the bar.
“Excuse me, you look a little bit tipsy and I thought a glass of water is exactly what you need.”
Here’s why this approach works so well:
In other words, you are perfect boyfriend material. All the other men try to get her drunk and are so untrustworthy that it hurts. You do the exact opposite and that’s why you get the girl.
4. Use the Tell Me Your Story Approach
Everyone has a story to tell…even at a crowded bar.
This approach is very simple. All you have to do is to walk up to a girl and ask her about her story. Nope, you neither need a second drink nor a glass of water. Curiosity is enough.
At first, she might act weird.
She’s confused. Nobody has ever asked her about her story, especially not in this environment. She’ll probably say “what do you mean?” or simply “what?”
“You look like an interesting girl and every interesting girl has an interesting story. I know, it’s weird to ask this in a bar, but I really want to get to know you. Tell me about yourself. Who are you? What excites you? I want to know.”
She’ll be so impressed that she can’t wait to share her story with you.
5. Use the I Hate Bars Approach
This approach works even better in clubs.
But it also works in bars. In fact, it works extremely well because there are always one or two girls who hate bars. Their woo girlfriends convinced them to come. So they came. But they don’t want to be here.
What about you? Do you want to be in this loud and obnoxious bar?
Let her know that you’re just like her:
You: “You also don’t like it here, right?”
She: “How do you know? I hate bars!”
You: “I can see it in your eyes. You look just as annoyed as me.”
She: “Haha…it seems like we are alike. What’s your name?”
We human beings like those who are similar to us. That’s why the “I hate bars” approach is the fastest way to connect with a girl who is sick and tired of woo girls.
6. Use the Is This Seat Taken Approach
This is the fastest way to find out whether or not she’s interested in you.
You walk up to her, point at the seat next to her and ask:
“Is this seat taken?”
That’s all you have to do. You’re still thinking about the glass of water, right? You don’t need it. This simple question is enough.
One of three things will happen:
- 1She says “yes” and looks away (red light).
- 2She says “no” and doesn’t smile (yellow light).
- 3She says “no”, smiles and plays with her hair (green light).
A “no” is better than a “yes” and a smile is the icing on the cake. But don’t get discouraged when she says “no” (which is good) and doesn’t smile. Remember what I said earlier about girls pretending to be cool.
Simply start a conversation:
“Now that I sit next to you, I have to know your name…”
You’ll soon find out if the yellow light turns into a green light.
7. Use the I Just Got Dumped Approach
I had no idea that this would work.
Last year I stumbled upon the “I just got dumped approach” by accident. I had a date with a girl…at least I thought I had. She didn’t show up and I was frustrated. That day I was already tired and in a terrible mood. Argh!
I went to the bar to order a drink before going home.
I turned around and saw a beautiful girl sitting next to me. She saw my sad puppy face and started a conversation.
“I just got dumped” I said.
“Why did she do that?” she replied with a smile.
Her smile was all the encouragement I needed.
I didn’t take her home, but I ended up getting her number. Since then I tried this approach a couple of times and it works surprisingly well. I don’t know if she was genuinely attracted to me or if my sad puppy face triggered her mother instincts.
Honesty, I don’t care because…
I never would have thought that this shitty night at the bar could lead to such a memorable experience.
Check out my book Rise of the Phoenix if you want to have such memorable experiences every weekend.
Summed Up Wisdom
It’s time to learn how to approach a woman at a bar. But first, you have to unlearn what doesn’t work. This is not the place for cheesy pickup lines, gold digger approaches, and preventing woo girls from doing what they love to do.
It’s about using different approaches that actually work…and that set you apart from all the other guys with their “you’re so hot” bullshit. You can either ask a girl to buy you a drink or bring her your favorite drink. It’s up to you.
And don’t underestimate the power of a glass of water. Telling stories works better than telling stupid jokes and it doesn’t matter that the girl you set up a date with flaked. That’s the perfect opportunity for the “I just got dumped” approach.