How to Approach a Girl at a Club (And Get Her Home)

Do you want to know how to approach a girl at a club? 

And do you also want to know how to get her home?

Today is your lucky day because this is the most comprehensive guide on this topic that has ever been written. This is the ultimate step-by-step instruction to open, talk, dance with, and pickup girls in this loud environment.

Why did I decide to write this guide?

Because I sucked in clubs!

My game was solid…but only in broad daylight. My nightgame was terrible. I tried the exact same approach that worked on the streets of Berlin and London…and I failed.

How about you? Did you also try to use daygame at night?

You can admit it. It’s okay. I’ve done it so many times and I failed every single time. Eventually, I learned why getting girls in clubs is so different and how to do it WITHOUT alcohol and WITHOUT stupid pickup lines.

Here’s what you’ll learn today:

That’s only the tip of the iceberg.

Let’s uncover the rest of the iceberg that’s swimming in the deep overpriced Martini glass…

How to Get Girls at the Club: The Basics 

Approaching girls at the club is not that hard.

But you have to understand a few basic rules. Unfortunately, a lot of guys mess up before they even leave the house. They prepare…but preparing the wrong way can also lead to failure. And not understanding club dynamics leads to even more failure.

Do you want to fail? No?

Then have a look at the following key principles…

1. Barney Stinson Style Beats Ed Hardy Style

Okay, I have to admit it.

It’s not that bad anymore. Ten years ago it has been worse. I don’t know about the USA, but in Germany every second moron was hitting the club in an Ed Hardy T-shirt. My friends and I loved to play “idiot spotting”. Ahh, good times.

Maybe Ed Hardy has been replaced by some other fad. 

I’m sure there’s some style everyone has nowadays…just like the Hitler Youth Haircut. Avoid it. Don’t be another clone for the army. Clubs are chaotic environments and if you look like all the other minions, you won’t get laid.

Instead, show that you have class.

You don’t have to run around like Barney Stinson, but the following style is perfect:

Look different and better and you’ll get different and better results.

2. Her Arrogance is Insecurity in Disguise  

“It’s so hard to pick up girls at clubs…”

I heard it so many times. Skype coaching clients told me it’s impossible. Then I gave them a step-by-step guide and they did it. My one-on-one coaching clients told me it’s not doable. Then I went to the club with them and we did it.

I just had to help them to overcome THIS limiting belief:

Party girls are arrogant!

Here’s the truth:

Some of them are, but most of them aren’t. Most of them are the opposite of arrogant. They are insecure and loaded with daddy issues. They just pretend to be arrogant. It’s a mask they put on. It keeps the “whooo” coming out of their mouth and the tears behind their eyes.

Arrogance protects fragile hearts.

You can’t change the fact that this environment wants them to act arrogant. But you can change the way you look at these girls and see them as the insecure human beings they are.

Come on. You can talk to a human being.

3. The Competition Doesn’t Sleep (Literally)  

I hate staying up late.

That’s why I tend to schedule the nightgame session for the last day of every coaching. Most men don’t seem to have this problem. Approaching girls during the day is easy because nobody else does it. There’s not competition.

What about picking up girls at clubs?

Am I really the only one who loves to go to bed early?

The competition doesn’t sleep. But that doesn’t mean that the competition has the slightest clue what they’re doing.

4. Picking Up Drunk Girls is a Terrible Idea

I know you want the easy score, the sure thing.

That’s why you look out for drunk girls. Most men believe that drunk is the same as horny. I mean, yeah. Every shot lowers her inhibitions. But every shot also lowers your chance to have an unforgettable night…in a positive way.

“What could possibly go wrong?” I hear you asking. 

A friend of mine experienced this horror scenario. 

He picked up a completely wasted broad and the next morning she freaked out. Hello false rape accusation. Girls are not good at taking responsibility for their actions, you know.

Be careful and make sure she can still walk.

5. She Knows What You’re Up to  

Yes, she knows it.

That’s okay. She wants it too. In fact, there are only two types of girls in clubs:

Sometimes the girl who lives for the attention decides that she wants to get laid. But forget about the “she’s here to have fun with her friends” lie. If a girl wants to have fun with her friends she invites them home and doesn’t dress up for two hours to pay $10 for a shitty drink.

It’s always about attention or sex.

Your job is to find out which girl is looking for the latter.

How to Approach a Girl at the Club 

Are you ready to jump in the shark tank?

Let’s get started with the first step, the approach.

If you mess up the approach, you won’t pick her up and you won’t take her home.

Here’s a bullet-proof strategy to succeed…

6. Resist the Temptation of Liquid Courage 

Here’s how to NOT approach a girl at a club:

Drink a bottle of Tequila and run into her.

Listen:

Getting drunk is the fastest way to fail at getting girls at the club. One beer is enough. A glass of water is even better. And no, I don’t say this because I’m a party pooper. I say it because being sober gives you an advantage over all the drunk guys.

It gives you focus and focus makes all the difference.

Oh, and you’ll be the only guy who doesn’t spit in her face. Girls hate it.

7. Spot Her and Walk Up to Her Fast  

The club is a fast-paced environment.

You have no time to lose. Stop hitting the snooze button and get going. You see a girl and you walk up to her. Forget about the three second rule. It’s time to introduce the one second rule.

You see her and you walk up to her.

If you hesitate for even one second she might…

The perfect moment is now and you are sober. That means you have focus. The guy next to you needs three seconds to process the information. You’re already talking to her.

8. Stop Her with Your Hands

You need your hands to get a girl at a club.

Yes, touching is important (more on that later). But we’re still at the approaching stage. Your goal is to make her stop. But the environment is ruthless and wants you to fail.

It’s pure horror.

She won’t even see your approach…unless you use your hands. Use your hands as a stop signal or wave in front of her. Smiling and waving always works.

You have to get her attention.

9. Use a Completely Senseless Opener

Why senseless?

There’s no scientific study that backs this up, but I tested many different openers in clubs:

Nothing worked as well as the “senseless opener”. 

That’s how I call it and yes, that beast is trademark protected, obviously. The good news is that you don’t have to remember any opener. Just say the dumbest shit you can think of.

Here are some openers I used:

What do these openers have in common?

That’s right! They make absolutely no sense…but they do two things. They get her attention and they make her laugh. That’s all you need.

How to Talk to Girls at Clubs 

You have her attention.

That means you’re already ahead of 90% of the other guys. 

That’s a good start. But you want to be ahead of 99.9% of your shitfaced drunk competitors. Yep, a conversation is necessary. And that’s easier said than done because it’s so loud.

Here’s how you can use the noise to your advantage…

10. Talk Close Instead of Loud

Here’s how to approach a girl in a club without giving her a tinnitus:

Boom! That’s how it’s done!

Stop screaming at girls, for God’s sake. She doesn’t want to get deaf. I mean, she’ll end up deaf anyway because she parties every weekend. But at least it won’t be your fault.

Don’t be shy. Come closer.

12. Touch Her While Talking to Her  

I already revealed it…shame on me.

Yes, you should touch her while talking to her. When? All the time! Where? Her back, her shoulder, her arm, her hand…it doesn’t matter. Touch her wherever you can. You are in a club. She won’t mind.

That’s the only advantage of nightgame.

You can get physical really fast. When you approach a woman on the street, you have to start slow. In a club, you can jump right in. This is the perfect environment for physical contact.

However, it’s not the perfect environment for deep conversations…

13. Avoid a Discussion about the Meaning of Life  

I love deep conversations and I hate small talk.

But we’re in the club and extreme environments require extreme measures. Forget about the meaning of life. Nobody cares about it in a club. It’s a hedonistic palace that’s all about drinking, grabbing and kissing.

Here are some topics to avoid:

In other words, avoid everything you would do in broad daylight. It’s dark and the only lights that are shining are artificial. Start a deep conversation and she’ll run away. Believe me. I’ve done it dozens of times…and it never worked.

Instead, joke around and talk nonsense.

You don’t want to connect. You want to get her on the dancefloor…

How to Get a Girl to Dance and Grind in a Club 

Do you want to know why so many guys do NOT get girls at the club?

They have the wrong priorities:

You’re not in a book club. You’re in a real one where men and women behave like horny chimpanzees. Let your inner monkey out and have fun with her.

14. Lead Her to the Dance Floor  

You already know how to talk to girls at clubs.

Enough with the talking!

She doesn’t want to hear your stories. She wants to feel your dick growing while she’s grinding on you. That’s what girls want. So lead her to the dance floor and make it happen.

Don’t ask her. Take her hand, smile, and lead her.

What if she comes with you?

Awesome! She wants to dance with you and if she wants to dance with you, she wants to make out with you.

Go with the flow.

15. Dance Face to Face Before You Turn Her Around  

Face her.

Don’t start by pressing your crotch against her ass. Have patience, my young Padawan. We’ll come to that. For now, dance and hold eye contact.

You don’t have to be a dance pro:

Get close and back off again. Play with the fire. Now that you’re really close, you can put your hands on her waist and continue dancing. Does she like it? Come closer…until you can feel her breath.

Now you can go in for a soft kiss.

16. Put Your Hands in the Air and Let Her Do Her Thing  

You know how to approach women at the club.

But do you also know how to get down and dirty?

Making a girl grind on you is…

The fastest way to increase the sexual tension and to get her home. I can write all day about it, but seeing is believing:  

And how do you get to that point?

Turn her around. Don’t overthink it. She’s a woman. She knows what to do. But you have to lead her. Turn her around and put your hands on her waist. Now lean in. Let her feel your dick. Too many guys hide their half-masts because they are ashamed.

Don’t be ashamed.

She’d be sad if her grinding didn’t have an effect on you.

17. Switch Positons and Go for the Kiss 

Please don’t puke.

I know. It’s a lot of spinning, grinding, and turning. But hey, don’t blame me. You’re here because you want to know how to approach a girl at a club and how to get her home. So stop whining and turn around.

Now it’s time to face her again.

The sexual tension is through the roof. It’s time to turn up the heat and to make her sweat…and wet. She felt your dick. There’s no way she won’t kiss you. Go for the kiss and see how she reacts. Some girls, especially on the dancefloor, open their mouth wide open.

Give your tongue the pleasure it deserves and close the deal…

How to Pick Up Girls at a Club  

You’re not done yet.

Most guys stop here, but that would be a mistake.

You have no idea what girls are capable of doing when nobody’s watching. On the dancefloor, everyone is watching. And that’s the problem. She can’t release her inner slut.

Give her the chance to release this lovely lady…

18. Take Her to the Bar or Outside 

Most clubs have an outside area. Some don’t.

I always prefer to go outside because it’s easier to find a place where you can cuddle and make out without getting harassed by drunk and frustrated guys who gave up because they didn’t read this article.

What if you live in Canada and it’s two weeks before Christmas?

Staying inside is better than freezing to death.

Try to find a place where you can do things that nobody sees. I once got a handjob from a girl in a club and my ability to choose private places is the only reason why I didn’t land on YouTube.

Look out for…

The bar is okay, but a couch is even better.

19.  Shower Her with Compliments and Kisses

Here’s what you do when you’re alone:

Do what teenagers call heavy petting and do a lot of it. That’s how to pick up girls at a club. Tongue wrestling is the king. And don’t forget to tell her how much she turns you on. Shower her with kisses and sweet talk.

Here’s why it works:

That’s the perfect emotional mixture to get her back to your place.

20. Tell Her it’s Time to Go

You’re the leader. Remember that.

So take action…

Take her hand and tell her “it’s time to go”. Smile and see if she smiles too. Reward her for her smile with a kiss. Now get out of the club and into your car…or walk.  

What if she says she has to text her friends?

As long as you don’t make a big deal out of it, she won’t make a big deal out of it.

How to Get a Girl from the Club Home and in Your Bed 

This is the final stage.

Pull your tongue out of that girl and listen up.

It’s about to go down, but you can still mess everything up. Not that I want you to mess up, but I’ve done it a gazillion times. You are so close.

This is what you need to do next…

21. Entertain Her on the Way to Your Place 

You want to know how to get a girl from the club to your bed?

Then turn into a dancing monkey.

Yes, this is the exact opposite of what you should do when you meet a woman in broad daylight. But like I said, extreme environments require extreme measures.

Just think about it:

She’s on an emotional high and the last thing you want is to pull her down. Believe it or not, but most guys mess up because they walk or sit quietly until they reach the destination. On the way her positive emotions get replaced by negative emotions.

Now she’s tired and grumpy.

Grumpy cat doesn’t want to have sex. Grumpy cat wants to sleep…alone. That’s why you have to continue to entertain her at any prize.

22. Make Out Before You Close the Door Behind You 

Skip the “do you want to come upstairs?” bullshit.

Yes, she wants. That’s the only reason why she came with you. Don’t be naïve. She knows that sex is on the menu. But remember her emotions. You have to increase the sexual tension before you reach your bedroom.

Forget about the wine.

Make out with her before you step into your apartment.

P.S. Don’t forget to close the door. You don’t want to get disturbed by the neighbors or a burglar.

23. Lead Her to Your Bedroom and Have Fun 

I’ve done enough for today.

I’m pretty confident that you can take this last step without my help. You’re already in your apartment and you’re making out with her. You just have to take her hand and lead her to the bedroom.

Here’s what you do on your way to the bedroom:

Oh man, I can’t stop and I won’t stop helping you. It’s in my nature.

That’s why I strongly recommend you to check out my bestselling book that already helped more than a thousand guys.

Summed Up Wisdom 

You want to know how to approach a girl at a club and you want to take her home. Well, then you have to understand a couple of things. Don’t think that girls are arrogant because they act arrogant and don’t think that getting drunk is good, just because all the other guys do it.

You have to understand the club dynamics. And you have to act fast. This is not the place for slow approaches and long conversations. She wants to have fun and talking about the meaning of life is not her definition of fun.

It’s okay to touch her while talking. Get really close. She wants it and her ears want it too. Oh, and you can’t get her home without dancing, grinding and kissing. Increase the sexual tension step by step and she’ll come with you.