It’s time to get personal.
Today I want to talk about how I lost my virginity.
It’s not a glorious story. It’s also not a story that I am particularly proud of, but it is a true story that I want to share with you. In fact, you are one of the few people on this planet who actually know the truth.
I already wrote a bit about me and that I lost my virginity to my ex-girlfriend, but today I want to reveal even more details from my private life. It is time to tell you how I became a man…
…and how I lied to everyone about it.
You Deserve to Hear the Truth about How I lost My Virginity
Some of my friends still think that my ex-girlfriend was the second or third girl I ever slept with. Hell, even my ex-girlfriend might still think that.
Well, about six years ago when I finally lost my virginity I was a very different person. I had little to no self-esteem and I was afraid that I was getting judged for being a virgin and for ending up in a relationship with the only girl I’ve ever slept with.
I know it was dumb, but back then I thought that making up one or two girls who I supposedly slept with before I met my ex-girlfriend was the only way to be seen as a man by my friends and as a lover by her.
I simply didn’t have the courage to tell anyone (including my girlfriend), that I had only slept with the girl who I ended up in a four year relationships with.
I honestly feel ashamed of what I did. I lied to my friends and I also lied to the woman who I spent four years of my life with.
It took me quite a few years until I was finally ready to reveal the truth. Today a lot of my friends know how I really lost my virginity. However, one person is still convinced that I lost my virginity before I met her. This person is my ex-girlfriend.
In case you will ever read this I want to apologize for having lied to you.
Today I am a man for whom honesty, authenticity and respect are the most important values. About six years ago I had little respect for myself and I wasn’t always honest. As a way of apologizing for that, I decided to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth about how I lost my virginity.
Today I am going to reveal every tiny detailed about how I met the girl who became my first my girlfriend and later my ex-girlfriend, how I lost my virginity to her and how awkward, humiliating and funny this whole experience was.
I Was Ready to Party (Not Ready to Land in the Hospital)
Whenever someone tells you about how he or she met his first love, it usually starts with a romantic eye contact and a shy smile. Well, the four year love story with my ex-girlfriend also starts with the moment she looked into my eyes. The only difference is that I was so drunk that I couldn’t even remember her the next day.
Even though she went to the same school that I went to, she never attracted my attention. She was the typical nerdy girl next door with blond hair, casual clothes and big glasses. To be completely honest, I didn’t even know that she existed until the day that should change the direction of my entire life.
It was a warm sunny day, the last day in school and my friends and I were ready to have a good time. As usual we met for a pre-lash at my friend’s house, who happened to be one of the best friends of my future ex-girlfriend. Yep, sometimes destiny is an asshole.
As you probably already know I don’t drink any alcohol. This was not always the case. Back then I used to drink a lot.
I mean, getting drunk was the only way for me to get loose and to get rid of my inhibitions, insecurities and social anxiety.
I am still not sure if someone filled me up or if someone threw something really nasty in my bucket of sangria. The only thing I can remember is that I was puking in front of the club, that one of my friends dragged me to the toilet and that I woke up in the hospital where I just smiled at the doctor before I puked on her shoes.
I warned you that the story of how I lost my virginity is anything but glorious…
The Moment She Looked Into My Passed Out Eyes
To be honest, I can’t even remember that my ex-girlfriend was at this party. Let’s call her Virginia for the sake of giving her a name and because Virginia took my virginity sounds quite fun.
The only thing I can remember was the puking, the pain when I fell on a crash barrier, the worried face of my father who drove me to the hospital and my friend who only helped me to make a picture of me lying totally passed out on a hospital bed. In fact, he still has this picture and he promised to show it at my wedding day, but that’s another story.
Now that I am writing this article I try to look under every single one of my brain cells, in the hope to find the missing pieces of this night. No chance. The overdose of liquid courage deleted my memories.
However, I can still tell you what really happened, at least when I can believe my female friend who eventually helped me to get together with Virginia. According to her eyewitness report I saw Virginia, looked her into the eyes and stood there like a deer caught in the headlights.
I guess I was paralyzed by her beauty.
Nah, maybe I just had to think about whether it would be better to puke now or later on the toilet.
No matter if my brain was still actively working at this time or not, there must have been something about her that drew me to her.
If I can believe several people who witnessed my heroic boozing and our romantic connection, I hugged her several times, gave her kisses on the cheek and mumbled some incomprehensible baloney that was supposed to sound romantic.
It must have been love…
I Couldn’t Believe that She Cared About Me
After one night in the hospital, several puking sessions and even more apologetic words that I threw at the quite hot doctor who patiently wiped away the remains of my dinner, I could finally leave the hospital and drive home.
Okay, I couldn’t drive home, but my father drove me. I guess I had residual alcohol for at least one week. I could barely move for two nights and after about three nights I was happy that I could walk without being afraid of losing balance.
Once I was confident enough to walk up the stairs without losing my teeth and breaking my ankle I switched on my laptop and logged into my ICQ account. In case you are born after the year 1995: ICQ was a program that kids used to chat before Facebook came up.
Of course I had received dozens of messages of people who wanted to know if I am okay and of people who pretended to care about me. I also got one message from the girl who I hugged all night long. She wrote me quite a long message in which she asked me about my condition.
“A human being with boobs cares about me. My life is finally worth living!”
The moment I replied to this first message was the start of an exchange of hundreds of messages and an invitation to her place that I gladly accepted.
In my naïve virgin mind I really thought that she just invited me to watch a movie with me. I can’t believe how naive I was.
I Had No Idea What to Do and How to Do it
My beautiful blond ex-girlfriend invited me back to her place and as the inexperienced little boy I was, I was convinced that we would just watch a movie, say goodbye with a handshake and continue the texting game over ICQ. I was also convinced that she had the same horizon of experience as I had when it comes to sex. Again, I can’t believe how naive I was.
What I didn’t know was that she had a friends-with-benefits relationship with some dude for the last year or two. She knew how the good old penis in vagina game worked. I didn’t. In fact, I had no idea what to do and how to do it, which became quite clear when the movie that we watched came to an end.
A quick site note: I actually chose “Knocked Up” with Seth Rogan and nope, I am not ashamed to admit that a movie in which some loser knocks up a beautiful woman during a one night stand is the worst movie you can possibly choose for a first date.
Anyway, the movie was finished and we were lying next to each other.
We were still fully dressed, still not touching each other and my heart was still beating like a bomb that is about to explode.
Believe me – I really wanted to make the first move. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but my brain was screaming all kinds of excuses at me. After I wrestled with my brain for nearly five minutes in which she looked at me full of expectation, I finally won the fight and did what I wanted to do.
I was ready to kiss her, but I wasn’t ready for her response…
Help…I am Getting Raped!
To say that she reciprocated the kiss would be an understatement. The moment my big mouth touched her soft lips, she was in reproduction mode. I don’t know if it was the movie, my non-existent sexual intent or my milk face – something must have triggered her animal instincts.
She didn’t just kiss me. She tried to eat me alive. She didn’t just touch me. She grabbed me as if she wanted to tear me apart.
Within under a minute I was full of her saliva and she was sitting next to me like Mother Nature designed her.
I didn’t even have to take off her bra, which probably would have taken an eternity. She got completely naked before I could take off one of my socks. Confused and with all my clothes on I was staring at her naked body.
All she said was “that’s kind of unfair…”
Even though I had no idea what I was doing and my heart was beating so loud that even the neighbors could hear it, I was ready to make this a fair match. Within seconds I took off all my clothes. I nearly broke my finger while trying to get rid of my belt and I must have looked like a happy baby when I tried to take my socks of while spreading my legs in the air. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I was naked and that a girl was lying next to me who was also naked.
Finally, the one thing that I was waiting for nearly 19 years was about to happen. I was only one second away from sticking my penis inside a vagina…
To Come or Not to Come, That’s the Question
Three seconds, two seconds, one seconds…aaahh.
No, I was not counting the seconds until I came. I was counting the seconds until I had the pleasure to feel her warm and wet pussy around my dick. Of course my dick was safely wrapped in a condom, but that didn’t change anything about the fact that this was the most pleasurable feeling I have ever encountered.
In case you are a virgin you won’t be able to fully understand this feeling unless you experience it for yourself. The best description I can give you is this:
Now back to the three seconds countdown. Whenever you watch a movie in which a guy loses his virginity, he usually moves back and forth one or two times until he ejaculates with a loud and happy scream. While it is generally true that a lot of freshly backed ex-virgins come pretty fast, I have also talked to a lot of men who experienced the opposite.
In fact, I am the living proof that the opposite of virgins with premature ejaculation exists. The process of how I lost my virginity can’t be described as a short and exciting sprint, but as a fun and eventually very painful marathon.
We did it in every position you can possibly think of. First in the missionary position, then doggy style, then she rode me like a rodeo horse. We did it all. The only problem was that I just couldn’t come. I don’t know if it was the fear of getting her pregnant, the nervousness or the thoughts of what I should do after we had sex.
I guess it was a combination of different fears, insecurities and my mental overload. I must have banged her four at least 40 minutes when she first asked me if everything was alright while the sweat was dripping down her face, her breasts and even her ass. After about an hour of relentless thrusting I had a cramp in my left foot, which forced me to leave the warm and wet paradise.
After one hour of pumping without coming, the fun was officially over. My whole body hurt, my penis was red like a cherry lollipop and I had to drink at least one liter of water to refill everything I lost by sweating like a pig.
I think now you understand why she never doubted that I had a few sex partners before her.
I Was Finally a Man and Stupidly in Love
Finally, I was a man. Even though I didn’t come it still counts. All I wanted to scream after I was having fun inside of a beautiful woman for the first time of my life was:
I was happy, I was confused and I was exhausted. While the wonderful girl who was nice enough to take my virginity without even knowing it fell asleep pretty fast, I was sitting on the corner of the bed thinking about what happened and what might happen in the future. My thoughts were jumping from one side of my brain to the other. I was so restless that I couldn’t sleep the whole night.
I might have showed her through my sexual skills aka the luck to be nervous as fuck that I was an experienced lover. However, deep down I was still the insecure, clingy boy without the experience to deal with this situation like a real man.
As a result of my low self-esteem, my inexperience and the fear that I would never find another woman who would be willing to welcome me inside her, I did what most newly ex-virgins do:
I convinced myself that I was in love and that she was the one.
Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine that an alcohol poisoning would lead to the day where I finally lost my virginity, to a four year relationship and to a secret that I carried around until now.
You are one of the few people who know the true story of how I lost my virginity.
Do you want to know what happened next?
Well, that’s another story…but here’s how you can make the next step happen.
It’s really interesting to hear your story about how you lost your virginity because mine was pretty similar, except that I was a little older and the girl that I had sex with wasn’t hot at all. Luckily though I was mature enough not to get involved in a relationship with her because she was kind of a ho. Looking back now I think that the only reason that I slept with her was a combination of low self esteem like you mentioned and being drunk. The thing that really stood out to me was how you described the inability to come It was exactly the same for me, I just couldn’t even though we fucked for over an hour (I was pretty fit back then, I was 22 and played a lot of sports). I had sore stomach muscles for days afterwards from all of the thrusting. The thing is that it still happens to me now when I get involved with someone new. I can never come the first time or sometimes even first few times we have sex. Some of…ok a lot of the girls have thought it was great, but it also made some of them feel inadequate (that I wasn’t into them enough). I didn’t even know myself until recently why it happens, and that it’s due to anxiety. It’s funny though because I could concentrate on the negatives, but on the other hand I could be so proud at the amount of women that have told me that I’m the best they’ve ever had. I think that as I get older I’m starting to look at it the latter way, maybe because I couldn’t fuck like that now even if I wanted to. The old saying about not knowing what you have until you lose it comes to mind. I guess that it’s better than the girl complaining about how shit you were because you only lasted a few seconds or whatever. I wish that I was one of those guys who had the confidence to just be satisfied that they had a good time, but then I suppose that’d be a bit selfish and you wouldn’t get too many girl coming back with that attitude. At the end of the day I did get laid a lot once I finally lost my V’s so I guess I should be glad.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks for sharing your story. Here’s what you have to do: resist the temptation to pay, read my book, promise yourself to do whatever it takes to become a successful seducer and practice, practice, practice…
Since i was 17 i’ve found some girls that thinks im attractive and some others who liked me and I used to think i was the king of seduction (i can have any girl whenever i want)…well just days after my 21st birthday i was losing my virginity with a prostitute (it feel amazing and i did perform for an hour too without coming), and a year and 2 months after, i’ve payed for sex 4 times since then. The funny thing is ALL of them told me: “why are you paying for sex? You’re young, cute and classy”
what worries me is i don’t want to get hooked on prostitutes but this city is full of big boobs, big asses, tanned girls, high heels, hair and nails done and i’ve been out of the game for a long time so i’m very tempted to pay again…if i don’t find a solution soon ill go crazy. thanks for the article.
P.D: those payed women were, beside sex, wonderful persons (and expensive ones too) and i remember them with a smile in my face.
P.D2: Sorry for my english, tho.
Sebastian Harris says
Don’t worry. You will get there 😉
My story is even worse, by far : it was with a low cost african hooker, and i couldn’t come…and i have never had sexe with a woman i really love.