“Does she have a boyfriend?”
When I started to approach women on a regular basis I asked myself this question whenever I saw a girl I was attracted to. The fact that girls don’t have a tattoo on their forehead that either says “single and available” or “I am already getting banged by another dude” drove me insane.
What did I do about it?
I did what most guys who have little to no experience with women do. I asked myself this annoying question over and over again, before every single approach.
I even asked myself this question after I missed the chance to approach a girl, because I wasted my time wondering about whether or not she has a boyfriend, instead of talking to her.
Eventually, I realized what an idiot I was.
I was dumb enough to let extremely hot girls, who were probably single, lonely and horny, walk past me without ever talking to them, while I was wondering whether or not they were in a relationship.
I didn’t approach girls who are single while I was wondering if they are single!
Do you even realize how fucking stupid that is?
That’s the most ridiculous thing you can do and I am pretty sure that I am not the only one who has ever done that. Otherwise you wouldn’t ask yourself the question “does she have a boyfriend?”
Please promise me something. Promise me that you’ll never act the way I acted and that you never ask yourself this ridiculous question ever again.
There is Only One Way to Find Out
Instead of asking yourself whether or not she has a boyfriend, there is only one thing you should really do whenever this question buzzes around in your head.
Find it out!
What if you would stop letting this question jump from one side of your brain to the other?
What if you would release your thoughts and worries and put them into words?
I am really sorry that I have to destroy your illusions, but no girl who is interested in you will walk up to you and tell you “oh, by the way…I am single. I just thought that could interest you.”
I have NEVER met a girl who told me that she is single, without any verbal input from my side.
There are girls who directly tell you that they have a boyfriend, but there is a 99% chance that you’ll never meet a girl who tells you straight away that she is single.
There is a pretty obvious reason why girls don’t do that:
The biggest fear of women is to be seen as a slut. A girl who tells a guy who she just met a couple of seconds ago that she is single, available and open for a date can easily be judged as a slut for offering herself so fast. Social judgment sucks, but that doesn’t change the fact that many women are afraid of it.
She might blush, she might be wet and she might lick her lips, but she definitely won’t tell you what you want to know without any effort from your side.
Why Asking The Boyfriend Question is Okay
“But wait, I can’t just ask her if she is single!”
“Isn’t that awkward? Isn’t that too cheeky? Isn’t that too straightforward?”
No, it’s not!
It is absolutely okay to ask a girl if she is single.
If she is only slightly interested in you, she wants you to ask her this question. If a girl shows you through her smile, her giggling and an excited “oh my god, thank you!” that she is happy that you had the balls to come up to her, she wants nothing more than getting asked if she is single.
A guy who doesn’t beat around the bush and who clearly shows why he approached her is extremely attractive. Asking her The Boyfriend Question shows that you have courage, that you are determined and that you go for what you want.
Oh, and it gives her the chance to tell you that she is happy to go on a date with you, without having to be afraid that she could appear desperate or slutty.
Once you made clear that you want to know if there is someone special in her life, she can allow herself to reveal that there is no one.
This is the only way to find out if you have the potential to become the special person in her life, or if this post is already assigned.
How to “Ask” The Boyfriend Question
Now you know that there is only one way to find out the answer to “does she have a boyfriend?” and that it is absolutely okay to ask her this question.
It is true that there is only one way to find out if she is in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you always have to use the same sentence with every girl you meet.
In fact, asking her “do you have a boyfriend?” is not really a good idea.
Why Asking Her is a Stupid Idea
Why shouldn’t you ask a girl “do you have a boyfriend?”, even though this is exactly what you want to find out?
It’s the same dilemma that you face when you ask a girl “can I get your number?” instead of assuming that she would give it to you.
Whenever you ask questions that can either be answered with “yes” or “no” you are in the danger zone.
“No” is the easiest way for a girl to answer this type of question. It is easy, because she avoids an uncommon and if she is really nervous, a quite stressful conversation. We human beings are wired in a way that forces us to avoid stressful experiences. Even if she wants to end up in bed with you, her instincts will immediately tell her to get out of the nervous state she is in and to answer with “no”.
On the other hand, this poor girl might have been approached by some weird pick up artists who have never heard about The Community of Global Seducers. After the fifth guy asked her about her female opinion, her brain decided to block every guy who wants her number with a short “no”, even if he might be the love of her life.
In order to sail around those cliffs, you can use your charm, your creativity and your intelligence to make her want to scream “I am single!”
“You are single, right?”
What’s better than asking a girl directly if she has a boyfriend?
Assume that she doesn’t have one. It might sound not that different, but it is highly effective. Let me tell you why.
By asking her “you are single, right?” you…
A: show quite obviously that your interest in her is not platonic.
B: ask her a question that makes it harder for her to say “no” than “yes”
Just remember the last time you have been asked a question that ended with “…,right?”
I am pretty sure that you answered it with “yes” or “right”. Our language has basically conditioned us to answer those questions in a positive way, because we automatically assume that they are rhetorical.
The chance that she says “no”, even though she is single, is extremely low. It’s also pretty funny to see the reactions from the girls who actually have a boyfriend. They first have to think about their answer and after a couple of seconds they hesitantly say “um…no”.
“No jealous boyfriend around?”
“Does she have a boyfriend?”
Well, you can find it out by asking her about her jealous/aggressive/pedophile (don’t say the last one) boyfriend.
“No jealous boyfriend around?”
This is a great question that you can ask right before you want to get her number. It also shows that you want more from her than a friendship. Otherwise you wouldn’t care about her jealous boyfriend. It’s a fun question that gives you the chance to say “then there is no reason why you can’t give me your number”.
Besides giving her no reason to not give you her number, this question has another sneaky benefit.
In case she has a boyfriend and she is not that happy in her current relationship, she starts to think about the negative qualities of the guy she is together with as soon as you call him jealous or aggressive.
This makes it a lot easier to convince her that going on a date with you is better than wasting her time with her aggressive or jealous boyfriend.
If your conscience says “hello” while you were reading those lines you can jump to the last paragraph.
“If you are single, I’ll take you somewhere fun this weekend”
Another great way to find out if she has a boyfriend AND if she is interested in you is to make clear that going on a date with you is a fun experience. Telling her that you would take her somewhere fun this weekend will give her a thrill of anticipation.
Somewhere fun can be everything. As soon as you said those words she’ll imagine all the places you could possibly take her.
If she is single she will definitely want to find out where you want to take her.
You could take her to the park, to the beach, in your bedroom…
…the possibilities and her imagination are endless.
“Don’t tell me that you are single!”
If you ask yourself “does she have a boyfriend?” you can easily find it out by combining your question with a compliment.
Imagine you approach a girl, she smiles, you talk for a couple of minutes and right before you go for the number you want to find out if she is single. If you want to make her smile again, you can say “don’t tell me that you are single!” while you look at her with curiosity.
If she is single there is a 90% chance that she says “why?” or “why do you say that?”
You can either reply with “you know exactly why I say that” or with “thank god, you are single”.
She’ll know that you only said this because you think she is too beautiful to not be single. This will make her smile even more.
How to Deal with a “Yes”
Of course it is great whenever you meet a girl who is single and who smiles at you as soon as you want to find out if she has a boyfriend. However, the day will come where you approach a woman who is married or in a relationship.
That’s why I want to ask you:
What do you do if the answer to the question “does she have a boyfriend?” is “yes, she has”?
Well, there are different ways you can react to the shocking news. Unfortunately, a lot of guys react like crying schoolboys who just got an imposition.
Apologizing is for Pussies
There is one thing that you shouldn’t do when the devastating answer to the question “does she have a boyfriend?” is “yes”. Don’t ever apologize for showing your interest. Don’t ever say “sorry for asking” when all you wanted was to find out if she is a possible candidate for your bed.
If you do that, you can cut your balls off and throw them on the compost. You neither need nor deserve them.
In case you have ever apologized for asking a girl if she has a boyfriend, you probably want to put a picture of my face on your football and kick it as hard as you can. Sorry, but someone has to tell you that what you did was the most unmanly thing you can possibly do.
A man who apologizes for his desire to find out if an attractive woman is single is a man who apologizes for being a man.
Keep your balls, your dick and especially your apologies.
Run a Few Tests
Apologizing is the first mistake that you can make. Assuming that she says the truth is the second.
Most women who say that they have a boyfriend are really in a relationship. However, there are some women who use the boyfriend excuse to test if you give up as soon as you have to face the first obstacle. Others say “I have a boyfriend” as a reflex whenever a guy approaches them.
I remember this one girl who told me that she has a boyfriend right after I approached her. Once she typed her number into my phone she said “oh, I am actually single”. She later told me that she only said it, because she was overwhelmed with the situation.
How do you find out if a girl is just overwhelmed or if she really has a boyfriend?
Beat her with her own weapons. Women love to test you. You can do the same with them.
“How old is your boyfriend?”
“What’s his name?”
“What hair color does he have?”
“How long are you together?”
A girl who really has a boyfriend can provide you with an answer to all those questions. A girl who only acted on a reflex or tested you will smile sheepishly as soon as you ask her those questions. Just smile back and give her your phone.
Ask Your Conscience
What if she is able to give you an answer to those questions?
Then she either memorized answers to all possible questions a guy could ask her (which is highly unlikely), or she really has a boyfriend. It’s sad, but some girls are already taken.
What can you do now?
You can either try to seduce her and eventually end up in bed with her (which she will probably regret), or you can tell her how lucky this guy is, before you give her a hug and go.
It is not my right to tell you what to do in this situation.
If you are interested in my opinion you can read this article.
Maybe she’s the love of your life. Maybe she’s a girl who will cry her eyes out the next day. It’s your decision.
All I know is that my book will help you to get her.
Summed Up Wisdom
“Does she have a boyfriend?”
Instead of wasting your time wondering about whether or not she has a boyfriend, you can spend your time in a more effective way:
Ask her and find it out!
Asking her “do you have a boyfriend?” might be the most obvious, but not the most effective question. Assuming that she is single, asking her if you have to be afraid of a jealous boyfriend and promising a fun date are better alternatives. You can even give her a compliment by pretending to be shocked that a pretty girl like her is single.
As long as you don’t apologize for asking her those questions, you are good to go. In case she says that she really has a boyfriend you can test her with a few questions that make her hesitate if she doesn’t have a guy at home.
Should you try to seduce her even if she has a boyfriend? That’s a decision that you and your conscience have to make.
Sebastian Harris says
Watch out for Asian girls with Asian boyfriends. Asian boyfriends are very strict and possessive like Asian girls’ parents are.
Ok i undesterstand, great idea 🙂 I have no issues with insecurities, i’m always confident and often smilling (not enought), however my sentence was more like, for exemple, “you should ask your boy friend a massage” after she said that she is versy stressed (in this example she said that too bad she doesn’t have one, it’s the Asian i was talking about the last time).
Sebastian Harris says
It’s not a bad idea if you say it in a cheeky way. The sentence I use (“don’t tell me that you are single”) goes in this direction. You can imply that she has a boyfriend by saying it with a confident smile or with an insecure facial expression. The choice is yours 😉
So if someone (say…me) use to say something implying that she has a boyfriend, hoping that she will answer “but i don’t have a boyfriend”, i guess that’s a bad idea ? (basically it’s for pussies). At least, if she answers that she doesn’t have one, can we assume that she is interested ? (or just that she doesn’t even think that i could be)