Yesterday I had a fun conversation with one of the hot women I met on the largest Indonesian dating site.
She was one of the 43 girls who replied to my message.
Yes, I told her that I have a girlfriend and I also told her that I only contacted her because I was reviewing this dating site. But she didn’t care. She wanted to talk to me anyway.
I told her to hop on Skype.
We ended up talking for more than an hour about…
- Why she signed up on this dating site.
- What she’s looking for in a man.
- The local dating culture and customs.
- What it’s really like to date a girl like her.
I still don’t know if she hoped to meet me or if she was just bored out of her mind. All I know is that she taught me more about dating Indonesian women than the four days I spent in Jakarta.
Now I can put the puzzle pieces together.
My experience in Jakarta, the lessons I learned while chatting with girls on IndonesianCupid and this Skype conversation allowed me to share the following 25 tips on meeting, dating and marrying beautiful Indonesian women with you…
8 Tips on Meeting Hot Indonesian Girls
There are usually two types of Western men who want to date Indonesian women.
The ones who visit Jakarta
The ones who visit Bali
You either love the anonymous lifestyle and the selection of girls that Jakarta offers you. Or you prefer the laid-back atmosphere and the half-naked beach girls at Kuta beach who want to snuggle up to you in your hammock.
No matter where your journey leads you, it all starts with a smile and a “hi”.
Have a look at the following tips on meeting Indonesian women and this innocent “hi” will soon turn into more…
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Approach Indonesian Muslim Women
More than 87% of the people in Indonesia are Muslims.
It’s really hard to find Christian girls, especially when you are traveling to Jakarta. Heck, it’s even hard if you travel to Bali. Jakarta is populated by Muslims and Bali is populated by Hindus.
Christians are a minority.
I mean, you can use the search function on the largest Indonesian dating site to find them (I’ll show you how later). But if you plan to approach women in one of Jakarta’s shopping malls, you’ll most likely approach a Muslim girl.
I understand that you’re afraid to date them.
- You’re afraid that they don’t want to date a man like you.
- You’re afraid that they are all holy virgins.
- You’re afraid that they expect you to marry them after one night.
What if I told you that you don’t have to be afraid?
What if I told you that Indonesian Muslim girls love Western men?
Yes, that’s true. They love you.
2. Embrace the Fact That Indonesian Women Love White Men (The Bule Effect)
The Axe Effect is a lie. The Bule Effect is real.
“What the hell is a Bule?” I hear you asking.
Well, there’s a high chance that you are one.
It’s a word that Indonesians use to describe Caucasian foreigners and it’s no secret that Indonesian women love to date Bules.
- They are more attracted to us.
- They believe that we are more romantic.
- They are obsessed with white skin (and white babies).
Hey, I didn’t come up with this whole “they want white babies” thing. That’s what the girl I skyped with told me. And one of my friends experienced it firsthand.
He was in Jakarta and he got asked by a local girl to impregnate her…while her husband was standing next to her.
3. It’s Easier to Meet Hot Indonesian Women in Jakarta than in Bali
Bali is THE Indonesian holiday destination.
It’s overrun by tourists, hippies who come for the cheap mushrooms, and female sex tourists.
Yes, Bali is one of the hot spots for female sex tourism. It’s somehow funny when you consider the fact that Balinese men are the shortest men on earth. Apparently, that doesn’t stop thousands of sexually frustrated women to hook up with them…
Do I really have to tell you why Bali is not the perfect place to meet women?
I mean, I met a lot of Indonesian women online who live in Bali and work in one of the big hotels. You can definitely meet girls here. But they are used to Bules and some of them are angry that their husbands bang one Bule girl after another to make a living.
It’s way easier to meet girls in Jakarta.
Jakarta has more than 9 million inhabitants. That’s more than five times the population of Manila. However, there are way more foreigners in Manila. Heck, I can’t think of any South East Asian capital that’s as unnoticed as Jakarta.
The girls in Jakarta will give you more attention, more numbers, and more you know what because of the Bule effect.
4. It Doesn’t Hurt to Know the Best Clubs in Jakarta and Bali
Even though I believe that online dating is the most effective and efficient way to meet Indonesian girls (sorry for being so German), it doesn’t hurt to know the best clubs in Jakarta and Bali.
Maybe you are not looking for a girlfriend or a wife.
In case you just want to have a fun time with a crazy Indonesian chick who loves shots and whisky on the rocks, you should check out the following clubs:
The best clubs to meet girls in Jakarta:
I have to warn you. You might fall in love with one of the female guests in the Dragonfly club. The club is expensive but it has the most beautiful women. Some of them are rich Indonesian girls who want to blow money, have fun, and experience an adventure with a Bule. Others are hookers who hope to find a rich guy for the night. Be careful who you take home.
Even though Dragonfly has the most beautiful girls, the Immigrant club is the best place to pick up local girls. There are less hookers and less competition. Most of the girls who go there hope to meet a Western man…and they are no pros.
This is the best club to meet Indonesian Chinese girls and to dance with as many girls as you can handle. The dancefloor is huge and the girls are even more willing to dance with a foreigner than with a local guy.
The best clubs to meet girls in Bali:
This place has seven floors. Yes, seven. You can choose between the Sky Garden nightclub (the place to meet cute girls) and the Sky Garden Rooftop Lounge (the place to get to know the girls you met on the dancefloor).
Mirror Bali Lounge and Club:
This place is insane. It’s one big gothic cathedral…that’s made for dancing, partying, and hooking up. You can find so many sexy girls here. If you are looking for “bad” Indonesian party chicks who don’t expect money from you, this is a great place.
5. Stay Away from Clubs if You Want to Meet Good Girls
Before you indulge in the nightlife of Jakarta or Bali, I want you to remember one thing.
95% of Indonesian girls would never go to a club.
Don’t get me wrong. You can meet hundreds of sexy girls in one of the nightlife venues that I just shared with you. But these girls have certain qualities. They drink, they party, and they are definitely not innocent.
What if you want a relationship with a traditional Indonesian girl?
Get the hell out of the club!
6. Are You a Western Man? Approach the Girls Who Don’t Wear a Headscarf
There are three types of Indonesian girls.
- The really conservative ladies with headscarves (20%)
- The traditional but not so conservative women without headscarves (60%)
- The Westernized chicks who drink and party all night (20%)
It’s obvious why the girls you find in clubs are not girlfriend material, but what about the ladies with headscarves?
- They are only allowed to date Muslim men.
- Most of them would never sign up on IndonesianCupid.
- They protect their virginity until they get married.
My advice: Focus on the 60% of girls who want to meet, date, and marry you.
7. Seduce Chinese Indonesian Girls with Bling, Style, and Reputation
What about Chinese Indonesian Girls?
Well, they make up such a small percentage that I didn’t include them in the three types of Indonesian women. However, they are so beautiful that a lot of guys end up chasing them.
But I have to warn you.
Young Chinese Indonesian girls are the daughters of politicians, businessmen and other members of the elite of the country. Most of them have upper-class parents and they are very careful about who they are seen with.
Date them if you are up for the challenge. Just remember that it’s 100X easier to meet and date traditional Indonesian girls.
8. Tell Every Beautiful Indonesian Woman How Much You Love Her Dark Skin
What do you do when you approach an Indonesian girl?
Tell her that you love her dark skin.
Obviously, this doesn’t work with Indonesian Chinese girls, but it works like gangbusters with all the other girls. And the reason is simple.
Most Indonesian women hate their dark skin.
It’s weird, I know. They hate about themselves what Western men love about them. We think it’s exotic and beautiful, they think it’s ugly and dirty. It breaks my heart to think about all the Indonesian girls who hate their beautiful bodies.
But there’s something you can do to stop this madness.
Give her a compliment about the color of her skin. Give her the feeling that she’s beautiful. She will fall in love with you the moment you say it.
3 Tips on Succeeding on the Largest Indonesian Dating Site
Clubbing is fun and meeting half-naked girls at the beach is even more fun.
But it’s time-intensive.
- You have to leave your apartment.
- You have to walk for 20 minutes until you find a beautiful girl.
- You have to walk for 2 hours until you find a beautiful girl who can speak English.
Dating in Indonesia doesn’t have to be hard. It can be so easy.
Just do what I did…
9. Use Indonesian Cupid to Meet Indonesian Women Who are Looking for Men
Within the past couple of months I received 17 emails from guys who asked me one simple question:
“What’s the best way to meet Indonesian women?”
Well, here’s the answer I sent to each and every one of them:
The best way is to meet them online and the best Indonesian dating site is called Indonesiancupid.com
Here are some facts that back up my answer:
- It’s the only Indonesian dating site with more than 1.000.000 members.
- The only purpose of this dating site is to connect men like you with Indonesian singles.
- I received 43 replies after sending a standard message to 60 girls.
10. Here’s How You Win at Online Dating in Indonesia
Believe me, it’s not that hard to set up dates with Indonesian women, at least when you follow the instructions I share with you in my IndonesianCupid review.
All you have to do is to be white and a decent human being.
Can you do that?
As long as you do the following three things, you will soon go on more dates than you could have ever imagined:
- Upload a profile picture in which you are not holding a beer bottle.
- Don’t be afraid to give compliments.
- Be honest about what you are looking for.
In case you expected secret techniques and mind control hacks, I have to disappoint you. You need that in the West. You don’t need it in Indonesia.
11. Here’s How You Can Find Indonesian Christian Women on IndonesianCupid
What if you don’t want to date Indonesian Muslim girls even though they love Western men?
That’s okay. You can date whoever you want. And in case you want to date a Christian girl who has the same religious beliefs as you, you probably want to know how you can find her.
Let me show you how:
- Log into your IndonesianCupid dashboard.
- Click on Search.
- Choose the Cupid Tag Search and search for the tag Christian.
Voila…you can contact hundreds of Indonesian girls who believe in Jesus.
10 Tips on Dating Indonesian Women
Now you know that online dating in Indonesia is fun, easy, and more effective than paying high entrance fees, just to hit on drunk party chicks.
But what if you want to date an Indonesian woman?
Let’s have a look at the following tips that help you to succeed after you’ve met a cute Indonesian girl in a club, at the beach, or on IndonesianCupid…
12. As a Foreigner You Can Ignore the Indonesian Dating Customs
How do the locals date?
It’s a Muslim country. Do I really have to say more?
- They meet in school and pretend to be asexual.
- They spend time with each other’s families and pretend to be asexual.
- They are too afraid to have sex before marriage…that’s why they have to continue to pretend that they are asexual.
As a foreigner, however, you can ignore these ridiculous Indonesian dating customs. You are not a Muslim and you stay away from the girls in headscarves. Being different is your biggest advantage.
One of the reasons why Indonesian girls would kill to be in a relationship with you is because you are NOT a Muslim.
As long as you show her that you are different, give her the freedom she craves, and stay away from the only province in Indonesia where strict Sharia Law is implemented, you’ll succeed.
13. Don’t Date Indonesian Girls Who Live too Far Away from You
This is only important for you if you visit Jakarta. Bali has more hammocks than cars, so don’t worry about it. No matter where she lives on the island, you can meet her somewhere.
I wish I could say the same about Jakarta.
I’ve been there and the traffic is insane. I mean, I live in Bangkok and I’m used to being stuck in traffic for at least an hour every day. But Jakarta is Bangkok times ten.
In case you are naïve enough to set up a date with a girl who lives on the other end of the city, you have two options:
You spend the whole day in a taxi.
You pay her to spend the whole day in a taxi.
Smart men don’t waste time. Smart men use IndonesianCupid to find girls who live in their area.
14. Take Beautiful Indonesian Girls to a Warung for a Cheap Date (and a Painful Diarrhea)
Warung is the Indonesian word for street food stand and the rescue for every man who wants to go on many dates in Indonesia for as little money as possible.
Why spend $10 on a date when you can spend less than $1?
Well, the only problem is that they are not as clean as the street food stands in Thailand. In case you’re like a sprinkler in Thailand, you will be completely empty after your first Warung date in Indonesia.
15. Indonesian Girls Love their Malls
What’s the alternative to a painful diarrhea after eating at a Warung?
Let’s go to the mall!
Are you staying in Jakarta? You just have to walk for ten minutes to know that Indonesian women love malls.
- Grand Indonesia Mall
- Mal Taman Anggrek
- Pondok Indah Mall
- Pacific Place Mall
- Plaza Indonesia
- And the list goes on…
You can take the girl you met online to a café, to a restaurant, to a bar or you can go shopping with her (just don’t give her your credit card). And you won’t get diarrhea.
16. Impress Beautiful Indonesian Women with the Umbrella Trick
Have you heard of the umbrella trick?
I bet you haven’t because I just made it up. However, every man who thinks about dating Indonesian women should know this trick. It’s so simple and so effective.
Here’s what you do:
- You invite an Indonesian girl to a walk in the park or a trip to the beach.
- She hesitates but she agrees because she doesn’t want to disappoint you.
- You show up with an umbrella that you hold over her.
She will fall in love with you. Instantly.
You are the first Bule who understands her brown skin struggle. You protect her from the sunlight. This makes you her hero.
17. Indonesian Babes Run Away When You Try to Kiss Them
She will kiss you. But she won’t do it in public, at least not for more than five minutes.
Let me correct what I just said. She won’t kiss you in public, even if it’s just for one second. Oh, and she also won’t touch you, caress you, or hold your hand in public.
It’s a Muslim country for God’s sake!
Come on, it’s the only Indonesian dating custom that you have to respect. Don’t force your Indonesian girlfriend to run away from you, just because you can’t control your tongue.
18. Respect the Fact that Most Women in Indonesia Have a Curfew
Mommy and daddy don’t want that their daughter dates a Western man. They don’t have to know what their holy princess does with you in your hotel room. And to be honest, they shouldn’t.
The less they know the better off you are.
That’s why it’ so important to respect your Indonesian girlfriend’s curfew. Do it, even if she’s not your girlfriend yet. Otherwise, she’ll never be your girlfriend because her parents hide her from you.
And yes. She lives with her parents, even if she’s already 28.
19. Dating Indonesian Women is All About Leading
There’s one thing that I love about Muslim men.
They don’t give a flying about feminism and gender mainstreaming…even though Western feminists don’t seem to get this in their heads. But that’s another topic.
Here’s what’s important for you:
Indonesian women grow up in a culture where men lead and women follow.
Yes, she wants to date you because you give her more freedom than she could ever get with a local guy. But that doesn’t mean that she wants to date a male feminist who got laundered with fabric softener.
- She wants a leader.
- She wants a man who decides.
- She wants a man who sets boundaries.
She has no interest in acting like a man, just because you behave like a woman.
20. Only Meet the Parents of Your Indonesian Girlfriend if You want to Make Her Your Bride
I still remember the day I met the parents of my German ex-girlfriend for the very first time. A quick “hi” and that was it. No big deal. Then we broke up. No big deal.
That’s how it works in the West. That’s not how it works in Indonesia.
You want to meet the parents of your Indonesian girlfriend?
- Understand that it’s a big deal for them…a very big deal.
- Remember that you’re (probably) the first guy who steps into their house.
- Understand that meeting them is the direct translation for I want to marry your daughter.
Don’t do it if you’re not serious. I’m serious.
21. Impress Your Future Indonesian Bride with a Few Words in Bahasa Indonesia
You want to impress your Indonesian girlfriend?
Then learn the frigging language!
I’m just kidding. You don’t need to be fluent in Bahasa Indonesia. I mean, you need to, but only if your girlfriend doesn’t speak English (How the hell do you communicate?).
A few simple words are enough to make her heart melt.
It’s all about making an effort and 99% of guys are too lazy to learn one word in Bahasa Indonesia. I just spent one hour talking to an Indonesian girl, and I can already tell her that she’s beautiful.
She smiled and I bet your future Indonesian bride will smile too when you say “Kamu sangat cantic” (you are so pretty).
4 Tips on Marrying an Indonesian Bride
Did I just say your future Indonesian bride?
I don’t say that you HAVE to marry an Indonesian mail order bride. All I say is that you might want to. You wouldn’t be the first guy to join Indonesian Cupid for free with the desire to just have a holiday romance….
…and boom! You meet the woman of your dreams.
It happened to me (how do you think I met my girlfriend?) and it can happen to you. That’s why I can’t publish this article without sharing some tips on marrying Indonesian girls…
22. You Might Have to Marry Your Indonesian Mail Order Bride in Your Country
There’s something you need to know about marriage in Indonesia.
I found quite a few blogs that write that inter-religious marriages between Muslims and people from other religions are illegal by the Indonesian Marriage Law and can be punished with jail time.
On the other hand, you can find blogs that tell you that it’s all sunshine and rainbows and that you can marry whoever you want.
To be honest, I don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong.
I’m not a lawyer and before I give you false legal advice, I rather refer you to the best source on inter-religious marriage in Indonesia that I could find.
But no matter who’s right and who’s wrong, you are on the safe side if you marry your Indonesian girlfriend in your home country.
23. You Want to Marry Her? You Need Bibit, Bebet, Bobot
What the heck is are Bibit, Bebet and Bobot?
No, I’m not talking about the Teletubbies. These are Indonesian words that mean wealth, social rank, and ancestry. Well, in case the Indonesian girl I skyped with lied to me, it means vomit, and fart. Let me know in the comments below.
Bibit, Bebet and Bobot are the three requirements that a man must have to marry the daughter of an Indonesian man.
You don’t have them? No marriage!
Thank God you already have them because…
- You are wealthier than the average Indonesian.
- As a Western man you automatically have a high social rank.
- You have Caucasian genes.
There’s nothing you have to worry about. Enjoy your fancy Indonesian wedding.
24. Think Twice Before You Convert to Islam for Your Indonesian Wife
To be honest, I wouldn’t do it.
I know it’s tempting that you “just” have to convert to Islam and you can marry your Indonesian mail order bride within a few days. She might tell you that it’s not a big deal…but it is.
Please think about the consequences before you trade God for Allah.
- Your friends and family will think that you lost your mind.
- Employers in the West are more reluctant to hire you.
- You break your grandma’s heart.
It’s like having sex without birth control. Think about the consequences before you scream “yes”.
25. Kalau Kita Menikah Kita Juga Menikah Dengan Keluarga
No, I didn’t have an epileptic seizure that made me fall on the keyboard.
This is an Indonesian saying that means “if you marry a woman, you also marry her family”. Or maybe it means “I want to eat poop that comes out of a donkey’s ass”. Again, please let me know in the comments below if the girl I met on IndonesianCupid jerked me around.
Anyway, here are some things that you can do to make her family fall in love with you:
- Convert to Islam (I already shared my opinion)
- Keep your hands of her sister (even if she’s hot)
- Help her mom whenever you can (brownie points)
- Learn the Indonesian language (reach the brownie horizon)
Oh, there’s one thing I forgot:
Be proud of your beautiful Indonesian wife.
Summed Up Wisdom
Dating Indonesian women is all about embracing the fact that these girls are into you, meeting them online, focusing on the ones who don’t wear headscarves, respecting her curfew, leading her every second, and being the nicest person on earth…as long as her mom is around.
Do you have any more questions about meeting, dating and marrying Indonesian girls?
Ask me in the comments below.